Manage episode 253248535 series 30636
“The Sales Moment; Issue #270”
Can you really influence someone’s actions by saying what you believe about them?
Dale Carnegie believed you can, and so do I. In his classic book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, Carnegie suggested giving someone a fine reputation to live up to as a way to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.
While the example Carnegie provides shows clearly how this would work, I still wondered how I can do this without seeming manipulative and disingenuous.
I recently heard a keynote from the author of Influence; The Psychology of Persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini, and he told a great story of how someone used this technique on him.
When the first printing of his latest book, Pre-Suasion, shipped with poor quality printing, his publisher called and said, “I have some bad news, and I hate it happened to a nice guy like you.”
How could you be rude after a statement like that?
Simply, it means giving a compliment and speaking into existence how we see people. Remind people of something they are good at. We should look for the strengths in people in order to have influence with them.
“To change somebody’s behavior, change the level of respect she receives by giving her a fine reputation to live up to. Act as though the trait you are trying to influence is already one of the person’s outstanding characteristics.”
~ Dale Carnegie & Associates
If you give a person a fine reputation to live up to, they will make every effort to live up to that reputation rather than see you disillusioned.
Have a great week!