Manage episode 251092021 series 2342396
Rejection is hard, but far too many of us take it badly. This can be damaging to you, your environment, and most certainly your business and its growth.
In this episode, Rob tells you the best ways not to take rejection, what not to do when you get rejected, how you can turn rejection into something positive, and the ways in which you can take action beyond.
There are two damaging extremes when it comes to taking rejection and how you act upon it, both of which will hurt you and your business badly:
Angry, critical, defensive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, emotional and controlling behaviours.
Retreat, hide, aggressive self-analysing followed by internal scalding.
Reacting badly to rejection only reinforces the belief that whoever did the rejecting did the right thing! It’s not about taking rejection; it’s about how you handle that rejection. Acting like a child won’t make anyone change their mind.
It’s not personal - Rejection is never personal. The pain we experience in the wake of rejection often leads us to believe, falsely, that the rejection is very personal, but rejection is almost always about the place they are in, the way in which we approached them, or their circumstances at the time.
Don’t take rejection based on how you feel, or your perceptions - The feelings of pain or inadequacy caused through rejection are reflections of some past pain or experience, and can cause wrongful associations with those previous episodes.
Don’t take it based on the present - Rejection often triggers an incredible sense of insecurity, and can conflate the sense that the present moment is ruined and will have lasting effects on the present.
Do not take it as one-sided - Don’t assume that rejection is all negative. There are an equal amount of upsides to being rejected.
Make sure that in the wake of rejection, you do not lash out; you do not seek revenge; you do not inflict the pain you are feeling upon someone else! In the height of emotion, we generally say things we do not mean, and almost always regret the things we do. It may also ruin people’s perception of us going forward.
Make sure you don’t try and exercise some kind of emotional-based leverage on someone - Guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail are not qualities that will encourage anyone to want to pursue a relationship with you in the future.
Don’t turn it into something that means more than it does - Rejection doesn’t mean that your health, wealth or finances are ruined. Compartmentalise the rejection and don’t let it spill into your other interests.
Don’t publicly react or turn to the internet to rant - All you’re doing when you display your negative reaction, is widening the field of people who won’t want to deal with you later.
Don’t beat yourself up - Remember that rejection is almost never personal. Don’t take rejection too hard as it’s likely to have been entirely circumstantial.
Never retreat - In the wake of rejection, it can be damaging to assume that you must never try again. You have to keep coming back, even if it means more rejection.
Take it graciously - You might be feeling the polar opposite, but smile, breathe and don’t speak. Think, wait, and be kind. This will allow you an elegant response borne out of patience and consideration.
Be grateful - Look for ways to be grateful. Be grateful that you got a response. Be grateful that they considered your request. Be grateful for the opportunity to seek feedback.
Rejection always has a balanced equal upside - There’s a lesson in everything, even in the negative experiences. Rejection is growth, learning, a test, and a sign of your own bravery.
Let the emotion pass - Don’t associate the feelings of hurt with past experiences, because this is nothing like that. Don’t let the past damage the future and the present.
Rejection is a logical, natural, normal event or step towards success, growth and progress. A prerequisite of success is that you will have to experience multiple forms of rejection, so each one should be seen as a further step upwards.
‘We all act like a child from time-to-time’
‘It’s rarely, if ever, about you’
‘When people are emotional they immediately react!’
‘When you master this, you master life’
‘You’ll be in a washing-machine of being triggered’
‘One failing does not make you a failure’
’The emotion triggers the action’
‘Gratitude is a gift, so rejection is a gift if you’re grateful for it’
‘If you stop and shoot at every dog that barks, you’ll never get to your destination’
ABOUT THE HOST
Rob Moore is an author of 9 business books, 5 UK bestsellers, holds 3 world records for public speaking, entrepreneur, property investor, and property educator. Author of global bestseller “Life Leverage” Host of UK’s No.1 business podcast “The Disruptive Entrepreneur”
“If you don't risk anything, you risk everything”
Rob’s official website: https://robmoore.com/