Love Addiction and Rejection with Dr. Helen Fisher

Sex, Love, and Addiction

Helen E. Fisher, PhD biological anthropologist, is a Senior Research Fellow, at The Kinsey Institute, Indiana University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships-- what she calls: slow love. In this week’s episode, Dr. Helen shares how people fall into love addiction and why it can feel hopeless to find the right partner to spend your life with.

TAKEAWAYS:

[3:00] How did Dr. Helen become a sex expert?

[6:15] There are a lot of misunderstandings about how men and sex.

[8:10] What is love addiction? How is it different from sex addiction?

[10:00] Romantic love addiction can actually be very positive.

[12:20] What do you lose when you get rejected? An important partner to have babies with.

[16:45] How can couples celebrate sexuality?

[20:00] A good positive relationship lowers blood pressure, cortisol, and more!

[22:00] Romantic love grows quickly, but attachment grows slowly.

[24:00] How can we better help love addicted people?

[25:30] Covid-19 is a good time to find love?

[29:25] In Dr. Helen’s study with Match, 34% of singles have had sex before the first date.

[31:35] Women are getting married later in life.

RESOURCES:

The Porn Panic: Is Porn a ‘Public Health Crisis’?

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men

Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency

Connect with Helen: Helenfisher.com & Theanatomyoflove.com

QUOTES:

• “Both men and women have some tremendously effective traits and we need to put our heads together, but to pretend we’re exactly alike is factually incorrect .”
• “When you’re madly in love with the right person, at the right time, with the right vision, is probably an adaptive mechanism to send their DNA into tomorrow.”
• “You’re threatened with genetic extinction when you’ve been rejected in love.”
• “People in long-term good partnerships, positive relationships, can live up to 5-7 years longer.”