Emotional Healing | Don’t Tell Me How to Heal PERIOD!


Manage episode 240084666 series 2315319
By Shirley Hubbard - Strong Black Woman Advocate. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Emotional Pain

I’ve been seeing this meme floating around on social media saying, “stop telling people how to heal from stuff you’ve never been through”….

Well, here’s a suggestion for ya…

Stop telling people how to heal their [emotional] pain PERIOD!

Recently, while standing in the middle of the aisle at Walgreens looking for Dove’s pear and aloe vera soap, I heard the words,

“Girl, stop crying and get out of bed. Your life could be a lot worse.

He’ll be back when he realizes what he lost….”

I was a little taken aback by the conversation for two reasons…

One…. because here’s this lady is on the phone in a public place [loudly] having a conversation that most certainly should have been kept private.

And two because…….

Oh my gosh! Why is she telling her that when she’s obviously hurting — like in serious emotional pain?

But, being the mind your business girl that I am, I shook it off, grabbed my soap and went on my merry little way.

In all honesty, the lady probably meant no harm and she clearly thought she was helping her friend; but the reality is when someone is going through a moment of despair the last thing she wants to hear is, “it could be worse.”

The fact that it could be worse does not lessen the pain she’s feeling in that moment, does it?

Of course not!

She may stop crying and she may even get out of bed, but it’s not because she realizes that it could be worse.

It’s because she just realized that her friend doesn’t care about her pain – or at least that what’s she’s thinking because her friend (unknowingly) implied that her feelings are not valid.

So, she’s getting out of bed because now she’s got to prove to her friend that she’s bigger than this pain she’s experiencing.

Ladies!!! We gotta stop doing this to each other.

I talk to women everyday who are hurting, broken, struggling to recover from various traumas and tragedies – abuse, rape, rejection, death, break ups – pain that has left them feeling hopeless, worthless and un-loved. As a matter of fact, I used to be one of them.

…but they can’t get the healing they need because family, friends, society, religion have made them feel like they can’t feel what they’re feeling.

Join Natty and I at the virtual table as we shed some light on how harmful our words can be when we’re not sensitive to the trauma of others.

And when you’re finished, we’d love to hear your thoughts on how you support your friends and family when life happens unexpectedly. So, hop on over to Shades of Strong and share your story with us via voice message.


Head on over to FACEBOOK or TWITTER, or INSTAGRAM @shadesofstrong and join the conversation by leaving us a comment or tweet. If you’re tweeting with us, be sure to use the hashtag #shadesofstrong. Happy listening peeps!


If you enjoyed this or previous episodes, head on over to Apple Podcasts and SUBSCRIBE TO THE SHOW! And if you’re moved to do so, kindly leave us a rating and review. Not sure how to do that? Click HEREfor a quick how to.

Other Ways to subscribe to the Shades of Strong Podcast:

38 episodes