Small Craft Advisory January 15th 2018: Bogwife

 
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URGENT – MARINE WEATHER MESSAGE

WEATHER SERVICE

906 PM PDT MON JAN 15 2018

WATERS FROM HERE TO THERE AND ALL AROUND

906 PM PDT MON JAN 15 2018

…SMALL CRAFT ADVISORY IN EFFECT…

THE WEATHER SERVICE HAS ISSUED A WARNING

FOR THE WATERS FROM THERE TO WHERE WE ARE AND WESTWARDISH OR SO OF THAT UNTIL YOU’RE COMING FROM THE EAST AGAIN

* WINDS…ARE LIKELY TO INCREASE AND DECREASE AT THE MOST INCONVENIENT TIMES. IF YOUR CRAFT IS A BICYCLE BE EXTRA CAREFUL IN HIGH WINDS.IF YOUR CRAFT IS A BOTTLE YOU MIGHT BE A NOTE FOR SOMEONE, WE WILL TRY TO DELIVER YOU. IF YOUR CRAFT IS A HOVERBOARD YOU ARE PROBABLY ALREADY SUNK MAY POSEIDON GREET YOU IN GRACE

* SEAS…SOME ARE CHARTED. SOME ARE NOT. ALMOST ALL ARE DEEP AND FULL OF CREATURES. WHY WOULD YOU TURN BACK NOW?

lake

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS…

A SMALL CRAFT ADVISORY MEANS WIND SPEEDS OF ZOOM AND WHOOSH ARE EXPECTED TO PRODUCE HAZARDOUS WAVE CONDITIONS TO SMALL CRAFT.

OPERATING A VESSEL IN THESE CONDITIONS REQUIRES EXPERIENCE AND PROPERLY EQUIPPED VESSELS BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH WHAT YOU’VE GOT, GOOD LUCK

INEXPERIENCED MARINERS…ESPECIALLY THOSE OPERATING SMALLER VESSELS SHOULD AVOID NAVIGATING IN THESE CONDITIONS. YOU CAN TIE YOUR BOAT TO OURS IF YOU LIKE.

IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT MARINERS WITHOUT THE PROPER EXPERIENCE SEEK SAFE HARBOR PRIOR TO THE ONSET OF THESE CONDITIONS. THE SAFEST HARBOR IS THE COMPANY OF FRIENDS.

Marginalia:

– TURING TEST, GAY — Homo Deus

– Tumblr chicken bots: Bukbot

Deep Dream Halloween costumes

SEWER ROBOTS

MATT RUFF’S SEWER GAS ELECTRIC: THE PUBLIC WORKS TRILOGY

– The Paris sewers are extra good sewers

ELEVEN DOUBLEDECKER BUSES WORTH OF FAT

– Hozier sings and explains Like Real People Do

– bonus: Tiddy Mun, Bog Deity

The Great Diary Project

– albumen is a word, The Advisory doesn’t know why they said it isn’t, it’s egg white, this is the sort of thing that haunts them until they correct it

7 episodes available. A new episode about every 14 days averaging 35 mins duration .