EP028: Jason Brangers Interview

Stepdad Success Podcast - Leaders Raising Leaders

In this week's interview Jason Brangers, a stepdad of two and father of two, will discuss how he went “all-in” with his step kids when he married his wife. He’ll discuss the challenges his family faced as he adjusted to his new role as a stepdad and his thoughts on building trust with his kids. Finally, Jason will share his thoughts on other step-parenting topics, such as coping with transition times, the importance of investing in your wife and relaxing and having fun. POINT #1: It’s Not Possible to Marry Only Your Wife When your wife has children, Jason believes that it’s not possible to marry only your wife, especially if she’s a good mom; Jason said you’re marrying your wife and her kids. Jason said that because he decided to go “all-in” and marry his wife, he would go “all-in” with his step kids, too. Jason and his wife had some challenges adjusting to their new roles after their marriage; Jason said it took his wife a long time to see that he truly had the best interests of his step kids at heart. POINT #2: You Have to Go “All-In” In order for Jason to develop a relationship with his step kids, he said he needed to go “all in”—even if the kids didn’t accept him right away. Jason said his father-in-law accepted and invested in him as a son—not just a son-in-law–when he married his wife and served as a powerful role model for how Jason could accept and invest in his children. Jason said he had to go “all-in” with his kids and expect nothing in return. He figured that if he loved his kids long enough and consistently enough, they would eventually see that he chose them and would accept him. Jason’s step-daughter didn’t accept him right away, but she finally did after 10 years. His step-son is on his way to accepting him. Jason’s goal is to show his kids that they have the power to self-initiate and create the things they need to be successful in life. POINT #3: Re-Entry Can Be Difficult When Jason’s kids returned from spending time with their father, the family had some trouble adjusting to being back together again. Jason always tried to remember that the kids were exposed to different people, rules, value systems, schedules and communications styles when they were with their dad. He understood that things could get confusing for them. He began to see the re-entry period as a reconditioning process, and he and his wife worked on changing their approach when the family came back together. POINT #4: Invest in Your Wife Jason learned early on that the best way to take care of his kids was to take care of his wife. Loving his step kids was one of many ways that Jason honored his wife. Jason said his wife once told him that she never felt more loved than the moment that she realized he truly loved and accepted her children. By treating his wife with respect, Jason was showing his son how to treat his future wife and showing his daughters how they should expect to be treated after they are married. POINT #5: Remember to Relax and Have Fun Jason said that his kids reopened his heart to fun after many years of being focused on his career and education. One of the most important things he learned about being a step-parent and father is that he isn’t going to get it right all the time. He said that dads should do the best they can with the knowledge they have, but he also advises them to join a community and avoid isolating themselves. “My wife said that she never felt more loved by me than the moment she realized I truly loved and accepted her kids.” A Chance Meeting When Jason met his wife at a party, he didn’t think their relationship would last beyond that day. However, he and his now-wife became friends and later, decided to get married.Jason had the opportunity to get to know his wife’s children during his early friendship with his future wife. When he decided to go “all-in” and marry his wife,