18: Q&A: Housekeepers and Messy Boyfriends

Struggle Care

Today’s episode is a Q & A. While you listen, I invite you to relax and unwind or use the time to care for yourself gently in whichever way you prefer.

I received questions from a working neurodivergent mom struggling to maintain a functional space, grappling with whether or not she should hire a housekeeper, and from someone living with a messy boyfriend with ADHD, looking for a way to establish a cleaning routine without creating resentment.

I share some strategies to help people with ADHD become more functional and explain that struggling to keep your home clean and tidy has nothing to do with your character, work ethic, or who you are as an individual. Let’s get into it!

Show highlights:

• Is it beneficial or detrimental to hire a housekeeper if you’re working full-time and struggling with ADHD, RSD, anxiety, and major depression?
• Why paying someone to keep your home clean does not make you a failure.
• How taking a different perspective can make asking for help much less distressing.
• How can you establish a cleaning routine without resentment when your partner has ADHD and often forgets his promises to clean up?
• What happens in the brain when someone has ADHD?
• What is working memory?
• Why is it sometimes hard for people with ADHD to complete one-off under-stimulating tasks?
• How task-bundling and ritualization helped me (someone with ADHD) become more functional.
• How isolating the bottleneck, or the step in a task they dread most, can help people with ADHD become more functional.

Links and resources:

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