107: Companioning Pain Over & Over & Over with Shelby Forsythia


Manage episode 233882301 series 2150239
By Chelsea Leigh Trescott. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.
Intuitive Grief Guide and Podcast Host of Coming Back: Conversations on Life After Loss, Shelby Forsythia is a Certified Recovery Specialist, Grief Coach, and Reiki Practitioner. Joining Chelsea 5:45 minutes in, she opens up about her first memory of having "a voice," how losing her voice is correlated very strongly with heartbreak—–the feeling of hopelessness and losing power——and how her voice returned to her in a new way after losing her mother to cancer, which was her biggest lost to date and an experience that shattered her open, rendered her voiceless, and has now made her a student of grief.Gems to look out for:+ the one fright that doesn't exist for her+ how long it took her to get her voice back+ there's a point where helplessness tilts into surrender+ after heartbreak, the things from the life before return to you in the life after but they don't look the same; they've been taken apart and reassembled+ the first time she registered her voice was coming back+ grief was a leveling up of her voice that she didn't ask her+ grief is like an involuntary scavenger hunt+ we don't choose, for the most part, the griefs we experience in life but you do choose the elements you try on in life and whether they work for you+ recovery from any kind of heartbreak needs a certain level of sovereignty+ you can't go on the scavenger hunt with other people telling you what to do, try on, or be+ there's a perception in grief culture about being able to make the pain go away + pain doesn't necessarily decrease but it's about learning how to talk with it, sit with it, and how to ask it questions+ the importance of personifying pain+ loss doesn't come along to teach us lessons but the pain we experience does carry a message+ the solution is in the witnessing of pain+ the benchmark for healing is no pain but in ability to coexist with it+ pain versus fear+ resilience is a thing that is practiced; it is more skill than anything+ the heartbreak of not only her engagement ending but in her ex becoming a person who had never known before+ the healing power of Reiki + the privilege and relief of being suspended in somebody else's attentive space without having to explain yourself+ how her fascination with spirituality connects her to her mom's devotion to religion+ learning that her mom wasn't ignorant or a bigot for fearing for her sexuality and her relationships with women+ the hardest part to accept about her mom's death+ the toxic phrase of "at least"+ the hardest conversation she had with her father after her mother's death+ how another woman living in her parent's house is another cause for grief and simultaneously the appreciation she feels for having both a maternal and female presence back in her home+ overtime life grows around the lossPlus, so much more.__To connect with Shelby, visit her:Website: http://shelbyforsythia.comServices: http://www.shelbyforsythia.com/grief-coachingComing Back Podcast: http://www.shelbyforsythia.com/comingbackPodcast via Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/coming-back-conversations-on-life-after-loss/id1236608896Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shelbyforsythiaFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/shelbyforsythiaYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo34-FLEEdl7JSdzGisfr3w__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: Chelsea@breakupward.com

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