199: Dating from the Adult Chair


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By Michelle Chalfant. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Everybody wants to be happy, and most of us want a partner to share our happiness and lives with. But finding that partner? Easier said than done.

Dating can be exhilarating, confusing, fun, exhausting and all the things. Experiencing connection with another person is deeply meaningful and also incredibly complex — especially when we bring our own pasts, traumas and expectations into the early stages of a relationship. How do we know if a relationship is meant to be forever or for a season in our lives — or not at all? How do we date in a healthy way?

Most of us date (and live) from our Adolescent Chair with all its fears, desires and past hurts. Add in emotions and physical attraction, and our adolescent self is running the show! But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can experience fulfilling dating relationships (even with someone who isn’t ultimately “the one”) when you date from your Adult Chair. And if you’re looking for a long-term partner, you absolutely need to be choosing from your most authentic, healthiest self!

In today’s episode, we’re talking all about how to date from your Adult Chair, including:

  • How to know if you are picking the right partner
  • Control issues in dating
  • Divorce and dating
  • Love addiction and love avoidance
  • How to know if it’s love or lust
  • How to let go and go with it (from a centered place)
  • Staying connected to yourself while falling for someone else

I had such a great conversation with my friend, Jackie, as part of today’s episode, and I know you will love hearing her questions and learning from her experiences. Whether you’re looking for the one, just getting into the dating game, trying to guide your actual adolescent children through their first relationship or just curious about relationships from an Adult Chair perspective, you will love this episode!

“If you’re in doubt, you’ve got to slow down and get clear on where you are. We need to enter into any relationship from a place of balance.”

“When you feel yourself disconnect from you and you’re not picking up on the red flags, that’s a problem.”


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240 episodes