Episode 85: Raising Capable Adults By Breaking The Cycle of Overparenting


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By Dr. Nicole Beurkens. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

My guest this week is Julie Lythcott-Haims the New York Times bestselling author of the anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult. Julie believes in humans and is deeply interested in what gets in our way. Her TED Talk on the subject has more than 5 million views, and in 2020 she became a regular contributor with CBS This Morning on parenting. Her second book is the critically-acclaimed and award-winning prose poetry memoir Real American, which illustrates her experience as a Black and biracial person in white spaces. Her third book, Your Turn: How to Be an Adult, will be out in April 2021. Julie is a former corporate lawyer and Stanford dean who holds a BA from Stanford, a JD from Harvard, and an MFA in Writing from California College of the Arts. Julie serves on several boards for organizations doing meaningful work in the world and is a mother of young adult children.

In this episode, Julie and I discuss the importance of breaking down the cycle of overparenting and how to work towards raising capable and self-competent adults. Julie introduces the audience to various parental behaviors such as the overprotective parent, the fiercely directive parent, and the concierge parent. All with their own characteristics, Julie explicitly paints a picture of how each of these behaviors hinders a child’s ability to learn, perform, and succeed on their own and for their betterment now and in their future. Julie strives to help parents shatter these walls and lead them towards a healthier relationship with themselves and their children for years to come.

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114 episodes