Deep Space Nine: A Lock-In at The Crate and Crowbar

The Crate and Crowbar

Tom F and Marsh are joined and gently corralled by expert telly-brain Jamie Brittain to discuss the beloved Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Is it the greatest of all Treks? (Yes.) And why? And has the art that made it great been lost?

• Let’s begin these show notes as the series itself does: with its iconic theme tune. Sing along everyone! Doop-a-dee-do, bee doop-a-dee. Doop-a-dee-do, be doople-oo doo be-dee. Doop-a-dee-do, bee doop-a-diiii, be doople-oo-do-do do-do be-dee.
• If you want to refresh your memory in advance of this pod, the main episodes to watch are
• 1.1 – Emissary
• 1.18 – Duet
• 2.14 – Whispers
• 6.19 – In the Pale Moonlight
• Other episodes are listed below in the order we mention them, alongside mini-synopses.
• And here are the actors, characters and their roles, which we mention:
• Avery Brooks – Capt. Benjamin Sisko – bereaved starfleet bossman and top bollocker on the station, accidentally finds himself “emissary” to some godlike beings who live in a nearby wormhole
• Rene Auberjonois – Odo – shapeshifting “gel-weirdo” and head of non-Starfleet station security, of a species that is worshipped as gods by enemies of the Dominion, the enemies of the Federation
• Alexander Siddig – Doctor Julian Bashir – genetically modified top doc and, briefly, lothario
• Colm Meaney – Chief Miles O’Brien – head of engineering, good at darts, less so acting
• Rosalind Chao – Keiko O’Brien – school teacher. Not a fan of amorous clones
• Nana Visitor – Major Kira – top Bajoran on the station, former militia-member of a people who until recently were under brutal Cardassian occupation
• Armin Shimerman – Quark – Ferengi barman and comedy character, somehow not awful
• Terry Farrell – Lt. Cmdr. Jadzia Dax – science officer, sort of, who has a symbiote in her which carries the memories of its previous hosts
• Michael Dorn – Lt. Cmdr. Worf – very un-Klingon Klingon, prune-juice enthusiast and oddly prudish sex-symbol
• Tony Todd – Kurn – Worf’s brother, shamed and ostracised by Worf’s Starfleet allegiance
• Tony Todd, again – Old Jake Sisko – Benjamin Sisko’s son, but old now because time
• Andrew Robinson – Garak – ship tailor and slippery Cardassian spy
• Marc Alaimo – Gul Dukat – former station boss under Cardassian occupation and brilliantly realised bellend
• Louise Fletcher – Kai Winn Adami – Bajoran spiritual leader and power-hungry monster who oozes sanctimony
• Jeffrey Combs – Weyoun – silky Dominion diplomat, cloned across multiple generations
• The West Wing, political drama with a similar serialised/syndicated blend and doop-a-dee-do bee doop-a-dee theme tune
• 6.02 – Rocks and Shoals – the gang offer medical assistance to their enemy and (shock!) get betrayed
• 7.21 – When it Rains – the gang discover something about Odo (among other things!)
  Babylon 5 – contemporary space station drama with heavy serialisation
• The horrifying flying jellyfish feature in Operation: Annihilate (episode 1.29) of the original Star Trek
• 1.18 – Duet – a Cardassian arrives on the station with a disease he could only have contracted while
• 3.24 – Shakaar – Kira must talk down former fellow resistance fighters from starting a civil conflict (while O’Brien plays darts)
• The great behind-the-scenes books on Trek that Tom mentions are: The Fifty Year Mission and, more relevant to this podcast, its follow-up
• 3.07 – Civil Defense – the gang accidentally trigger old Cardassian security protocols designed to deal with an armed rebellion
• 2.14 – Whispers – O’Brien finds himself at the centre of a conspiracy when everyone begins to act weirdly towards him
• 4.09 Our Man Bashir – silly but fun holodeck episode in which everyone takes on the roles of Bond characters
• 6.13 Far Beyond the Stars – Sisko imagines his crew as 50s sci-fi writers, for reasons?
• 4.14 Sons of Mogh – Sons of Mogh – Worf’s brother turns up on the station, distraught after being ostracised by Klingon society for Worf’s actions
• 6.19 – In the Pale Moonlight – Sisko explores underhand ways to bring the Romulans into the war on the Federation’s side
• IT’S A FAAAAKE!
• Section 31 are the Federation… but evil!
• Star Trek: The Lower Decks – cheeky cartoon Trek courtesy of at least one alumnus of Rick and Morty
• Star Trek: Discovery – characters acting in heavingly stupid ways with no greater purpose than to fill airtime with passingly exciting events
• Murder One and Twin Peaks were anomolies at the time for dealing with one ongoing story-line across a season
• Star Trek: Picard – a voyage into nothingness saved by its lead actor
• X-files – failed to tread the line between monster of the week and serialised story
• The phrase “Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra” is from the brilliant Darmok (episode 5.02) of Star Trek: The Next Generation
• 6.01 – A Time to Stand – an episode in which Odo, Weyoun and Ducat are locked in an “authority triangle”
• 5.16 – Doctor Bashir, I Presume – the episode in which Dr Bashir discovers he is genetically engineered
• Star Trek: Voyager – best captain in Kate Mulgrew’s Janeway, and best doctor in Robert Picardo
• Star Trek: Enterprise – best left unmentioned
• 6.12 – Who SPOILER for Morn? – Quark gets embroiled in Morn’s business, with film noirish consequence
• That’s it! Goodbye.

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Our intro music is by The Mandibles from their track Clambake. Many of the band members now tour as Count Bobo And The Bullion.