Bachelor Recap Season 24 Ep. 3: With Chris Gillis — Don't Make These Two Crucial Dating Mistakes — Red Flags You Are Missing and Are You Being Too Vulnerable?
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The Bachelor is back! Marni and her favorite man-panelist, Chris Gillis break down Episode 3 to pull out all the juicy nuggets you need to know. Together, they translate the show’s drama into real-life dating and relationship scenarios that you can use in your life to make finding a high-quality guy easier.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- The importance of being authentically you
- How to turn a victim story into a hero story
- What your facial expressions say about you
- It’s ok to ask a friend’s advice
When a Pink Flag Turns Red for a Man [1:46]
Marni and Chris discuss their winner’s bracket and Chris admits that he chose Alayah as the winner with his eyeballs. They both reflect that yes, what someone looks like makes a difference. It doesn't mean men are jerks. It is 100% true that they do have a natural attraction to the physical. Alayah is beautiful but she is sending up all kinds of red flags.
Alayah makes it apparent she is not part of the pack. All the other girls turned on her and she got the boot. She was sending a message through her conversations and actions that she didn’t have many relationships in life. Sidney says she is being phony and calculated.
Ladies, this is a lesson to be yourself. If you feel you can't be yourself when dating, if you get frustrated when dating, or you don't really want to go on a date. When you do go on a date a high-quality guy will sense it. It will feel slightly off to him.
It is best to be your true authentic self and be real about your bumps and bruises.
Pete wonders what else Alayah may be hiding. He even sought out advice from a friend because he knows deep down that something is off.
Marni asks Chris, “how do you know whether something you feel is off or whether it is something you are carrying with you from a past relationship”?
- Your intuition will guide you without fear. If you feel fear than it may be a self-worth issue.
- If we own our stories it helps us to recognize the messages our subconscious sends.
- Take responsibility for gaining clarity and ask high-quality questions.
- Ask yourself ‘what do I need to know to make an informed decision?’.
How to Share Your Challenges Without Playing the Victim [21:08]
Victoria P. had another shoddy week. On her date with Pete, she seemed to throw up her childhood story in a victim-y way instead of being naturally vulnerable.
Marni notes that dirty laundry is not vulnerability. Chris says Victoria had the opportunity to tell a victim story or a hero story and she chose the victim story. He says instead of Peter thinking that she is a badass woman and that they could weather any storm with her strength he probably thought that she is still bleeding from her scars and that threw up a red flag.
Sharing your story can create connection but you have to tell how it made you the wonderful person you are today. When you tell the victim story you will attract guys who are attracted to victims.
Who you are attracted to is a reflection of where you are in your self-worth and ability to stay emotionally safe.
Kelly, the attorney, is low-key. She admits that the other girls aren’t necessarily her people and this competition isn't her scene yet makes it clear to Peter that she really likes him.
Marni and Chris point out that Kelly isn't creating drama which makes her confident and engaging.
Takeaways From Episode 3 of The Bachelor [32:03]
- Don't be the victim.
- Be authentically you.
- Your body language will always tell the truth.
- Go with your gut feelings.
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