Dating Den Episode 118 — with Jean Chatsky: Can I Date Him Successfully if I Make More Money?


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Traditionally, women earn less than men and are more likely to take breaks from earning to have children or care for elderly parents. As a result, by the time women reach retirement they have less money than men plus they live five years longer. To discuss how women can make their money last longer, Marni welcomes money master, Jean Chatsky into the Den. Jean shares tips for women who want to stay healthy, wealthy, and stable no matter what their relationship status is.

Jean launched Her Money Media, Her Money podcast, and the website to provide women much-needed, accurate information about money. She's the award-winning financial editor of NBC Today. She has appeared on CNN, The View, The Talk, and created a The Debt Diet program for Oprah’s audience. She is a best-selling author, a motivational speaker, AARP’s financial ambassador, and a fierce advocate for financial literacy. Her new book, Women with Money: The Judgment-Free Guide to Creating the Joyful, Less Stressed, Purposeful (and, Yes, Rich) Life You Deserve is available now.

But I Already Have My Own Money [3:17]

If you are a woman who has already created her own wealth, don’t forget the prenup, or postnup. We’ve all moved past the old stereotypes surrounding prenups. Mature, loving relationships are built on trust and understanding. A prenup is not a scary document. It just negotiates how financial entities will be handled should something happen to the marriage.

Jean’s advice — Each partner should go into it with an understanding that this is how to take care of ourselves and each other. There are different ways to craft the document.

A prenup is simply financial planning for a secure future.

Specifically, when it comes to relationships women worry that they won't know how to maneuver a death or divorce. Remove the fear that you might be left holding the bag with not enough resources with a clear understanding of your financial picture.

The most important thing is to actually talk about these things with our significant other. Being on the same page about the future financials helps eliminate possible blocks down the road in our relationships.

The More You Know About Money [8:51]

Bringing up money conversations during dating can seem invasive. But, there is a lot you can learn about a date's financial picture without directly asking. Pay attention to hints during initial conversations.

When it gets more serious it's important for a woman to ask:

  1. What do you earn?
  2. What do you own?
  3. What do you owe?

It shouldn't be embarrassing to ask these questions. If you are going to have a financial problem, it's better to know about it sooner than later.

Don’t share your credit scores on the first date but have a money conversation when the relationship gets serious.

Money & Love [20:58]

Jean’s new book, Women with Money: The Judgment-Free Guide to Creating the Joyful, Less Stressed, Purposeful (and, Yes, Rich) Life You Deserve tackles the ‘why we are the way we are with money’ topic. She says, “You need to understand why the person you share a bed with is the way they are with money. That means getting a grip on your own money story too.” Research your financial DNA.

The more you understand your money story the more you can guide your partner to explore their own.

The key to making yourself financially secure is to start saving automatically every time you get paid. Set a savings goal for yourself. When we are able to stand on our own two feet financially it enables us to make better choices when accepting other people into our lives.

Making the choice to add someone into our lives when we know we are able to do it by ourselves is a clear choice, free of fear.

Make a Connection:

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Her Money Website

Her Money Podcast

Jean Chatsky Website

197 episodes