Deconstructing John Gray Beyond Mars and Venus Insights Part 2: Relationship Troubles and How To Get Out Of Them Forever! (Breather Episode With Brad)
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Keeping the momentum going and the dream alive with more tightly focused insights from John Gray's fantastic book, Beyond Mars and Venus, and his insights shared on episode 51 of the Get Over Yourself podcast.
In this show, I discuss Gray’s insights about how trouble happens in a relationship. Men who are overstressed and underappreciated become underconfident and emotional, as estrogen increases and testosterone drops. This leads to unregulated emotions, manipulative, passive-aggressive, overreacting behavior, and feeling sad, depressed, resentful, angry, and tired. Males need to feel valued and appreciated and be able to say, “I got this!” They need cave time to replenish testosterone by doing things that come with an expectation of success and appreciation
An overstressed woman who overexpresses male side (e.g. the modern workplace) will resist help, be frustrated that she has to do too much, and feel overwhelmed, this is excess testosterone, not enough estrogen. They need to share feelings that they have suppressed during the male dominant workday - need Venus talk to rebalance estrogen. A female who tries to express herself and isn't listened to puts up walls and increases male side. An out of balance feel will become detached, cold, critical, independent (“I'll do it myself”), goal oriented (“got so much to do”). Eventually, this will lead to exhaustion, resentment, dissatisfaction, difficulty sleeping, mental rigidity, resistance to change, low libido, depression. John Gray says today’s female is really suffering like no other time in history, with record rates of depression, anxiety, and accordant medications being dispensed.
Are conflict-free relations just a dream? No! It’s possible, and studies with successful long-term romantic couples prove that it’s possible to maintain that romantic spark for decades! Functional MRI results show that happy long-term couples light up brain areas in the same manner as new couples who have fallen deeply in love. They are even one better than that because the familiarity and friendship bond developed over the years, combined with the attraction action, lights up the brain all over.
Most of the time relationship challenges come from unrealistic expectations of ourselves or our partner. Let go of resentment; open your heart to forgiveness. Transform anger into passing annoyance. Practice effortless patience.
Remember.. silence is golden!
Learn it, know it, live it! Thank you John Gray, and thanks for listening to the Get Over Yourself podcast!
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