Bret Rockmore on Autism From A New Perspective

The Rewire Show For Highly Sensitive People

Here is the in-depth conversation…

Hello everyone! Ashley Stamatinos here. I have a special treat for you today. I am here with Bret Rockmore. Welcome Bret.

Ashley, 00:01

Hey Ashley. We’re trying to do something live, but now we’re not five. So it’s like, hey everybody in the future.

Bret, 00:20

Yeah, yeah, we can feel your energy even though you’re not here with us right now while we’re pre recorded. This. So, and I are talking for a little bit now about um, people in general, not specifically just children, but people in general through all years of your life, um, people who have special capacities which we tend to call ADD, OCD and autism and I think Bret and I specifically have a additional interest in autism and all the things that are possible around that. So what we’re going to be talking about today is what else is possible with autism and we’re going to be talking about a new perspective on what’s possible. So I really am coming into this conversation out of curiosity. So we’ll see where this conversation leads us. And I know Brad has so many amazing things to share. So I asked if he could join us today just so that we could have a conversation and so that I could share with all of you some of the amazing things I know that Bret has to offer. So welcome. I’m so glad you’re here. And can you start us off by sharing a little bit about you and what brought you to this place where maybe not so much us being on this conversation prior to this place where you know you have this awareness about special capacities.

Ashley, 00:31

Yeah. Thank you Ashley. Thank you. I guess like, like most of the people watching who will be watching this, I’ve always known that I was different and I never really could ever fit in anywhere at all. Like I tried. My best thing to do in school is I, you know, I was a social butterfly. I never fit in one place, but I always flitted, flitted from group to group to group to group. And I learned how to. I learned how to say that some things that, what are the things that one group could receive, couldn’t be received by another group, but they could receive a whole different set of things. So I had one group where I talked about music one group, where I talk about like their relationship stuff, one group ….it’s just all these different groups could receive different things and I got pretty good at seeing what people could receive, but I never really got how, how to really interact.

Bret, 00:56

….I never got….. This is one of those autistic things. Like right now, like I was one of those like rare autistic people growing up where I actually, um, I learned how to read at a very early age in words. I learned that words have an energy to them and the words that we say in our daily lives and the words that we put out there to other people create things. And Yeah. And I became, I became obsessed. I was reading like when I was in like third grade, I was reading books that like a twelfth grade level. And it just…

Bret, 02:59

Because I know you’re, that’s not surprising to me. That’s pretty amazing.

Ashley, 03:40

Yeah. Thank you.

Bret, 03:46

You were fascinated with a lot of things or was it a specific topic that led you to reading twelfth grade level books when you were so much younger?

Ashley, 03:48

Everything. Literally everything. I’m pretty much interested in everything. And um, that it’s, it’s so funny in talking with you here because there’s, we’re having this conversation about like, you know, ocd add, Adhd, autism and they can’t seem to even complete one sentence or complete thought.

Bret, 03:57

Talk about that for a second. Right? So this is the thing. So I’m glad that you brought that up. Let’s just w, you know, this is like full clarity or full, full, full disclosure hearing everyone. Bret and I got on the phone a couple of weeks ago and I had a similar thing except it wasn’t exactly what you’re experiencing. You’re like almost like space spray, like space and you’re like where are my thoughts right now? I have them but where are they? And for me, I was on the phone with you and I was like a speed racer because I felt your energy and I literally, I don’t know if you know this, that I was on the phone pacing, like stop watching your body language right now. Want to move, you know, it’s interesting and perhaps that too, like I have to exercise a lot to like, expelled. Like I’m, I wonder, do you, what does that to you, what does that mean to you? Is that, what’s all that energy that you’re aware of?

Ashley, 04:21

Yeah, it’s kind of like, it, it just, I, I’ve always done that. I’ve always been that way. I can’t ever really sit still. I always kind of made myself wrong for it even though I just would, I would just enjoy it. And then I uh, I started going to access consciousness classes, like people were not making you wrong for doing that. So I was like, my first couple of classes I was just like moving however by were to move and it probably looked really frigging weird. Still probably does. But um, it’s just one of those things I like bodies are amazing and they’re fascinating and um, when you have this, the difference is that you are, and this different way of functioning in the world than most people do and most people don’t let their bodies move. Most people don’t let their bodies contribute to what you’re saying or what they’re communicating. I mean, I grew up in long island so like there were a lot of like Italians there and they all use their hands and stuff and so

Bret, 05:20

So you’re willing to allow your body to move through. Body asks for it. Right. And it’s like, do you feel like you always have energy flowing through you or would it, would you not explain it that way?

Ashley, 06:23

I wouldn’t explain it that way, but most of the time I’m at, like, I growing up, I would say I was pretty disconnected from my body. I would play a lot of video games and stuff. But that was, um, that was my way of actually dealing with the world around me. Cause I, I, I grew up undiagnosed autistic, they, you know, there was it there, you know, my parents would probably thought it was really strange to talk and you know, since I could read and do a lot of other things, I don’t think they, they, they didn’t really think to, you know, get me checked out or anything like that when I was growing up. Autism, like as hugely known as it is now, so I just kind of skated it on by and I use a lot of different things to cope with the world around me because I didn’t have the tools to deal with it at the time and have ease with everything I’m aware of because if you are autistic at all or if you have any kind of artistic tendencies or you’re anywhere on the spectrum or even have OCD or add or ADHD, you’re more than likely aware of so many different energies. Just when you walk in a room.

Bret, 06:33

Right.

Ashley, 07:50

Even before you walk in the room. Even when you think about walking into the room,

Bret, 07:51

I don’t think a lot of people know that. I, I speak to a lot of parents that have no idea that their kids have an awareness of what’s going to happen in a room or what’s going on in the room now way before they even get there. So is there anything you can say to the parents of kids or even to adults who are dealing with, what might they feel or become aware of if they’re sensing what’s going on in there before they even get there and what does that, what does that like?

Ashley, 07:55

Yeah, totally. I would say to the parents, you know, you know how like sometimes your kids will all of a sudden kind of like act out or act like really strange or they’ll get like agitated or you can sense that there’s something that’s just like not, not quite sitting well in their world. You can ask like, what, what are you aware of? Who does or who does that belong to? They’ll, you know, especially kids to have, um, you know, they’ll pick up on all the thoughts, feelings and emotions of everyone they’re tapped into. If you know, if you’re about to go somewhere and your kid starts getting anxious, like I would always get a, I would always get so anxious before going to school in the morning or anywhere really because I could perceive all this energy and hundreds of hundreds of hundreds of people like going to school and I never ever wanted to go cause I would, I would perceive and feel all this energy and I didn’t know that it wasn’t mine.

Bret, 08:26

I thought it was mine the whole time. So if someone, if, if someone asked me who does this belong to? A lot more clarity and ease as a kid because I can do that now. Like what? Like just thinking about like I just hosted an event this weekend, that’s his consciousness and the day before the class it’s like I could perceive all this stuff before I would’ve thought that I was like cranky or grumpy. But what it actually was, I was actually perceiving the different energies of all the people who are coming to the class, who I was going to be dealing with and interacting with over three days. So, um, so yeah, asking your kids who does this belong to is a really, really, really, really great tool for them to start getting clear on the different energies that they’re aware of because the more awareness you have of what you’re actually aware of, the less they’ll buy it is them, the more they’ll get to have a sense and a clarity and the ease with who they are and who they’re choosing to show up as every day.

Bret, 09:20

And so it, like I used to go into rooms literally and I would think that I was every thing else that was going on in the room, like if, if people were once again like cranky or irritated, I would think I was cranky and irritated. Just aware of what was, what was there in people’s worlds. So, uh, your kids might have something similar if they have hard times being in crowds or, um, or if they tend to shut down when they’re around people or in certain situations asked, what are you, what are you aware of? Who does this belong to? Another great one is asking, who are you being who you being right now,

Bret, 10:23

Do you ask your kids to and share a quick story about that? But I was on a plane with my son when he was a baby and we had flown quite a few times. He and I and it was, it was pretty easy flying with them until I got on this one plane flying back from New York and he was crying and crying and so Farsi and like he was moving around and I was like, like I found myself looking at him like, what? This is so awkward, what’s going on? And then I remembered to ask him, who are you being like clicked? I looked at him and I was just now and I could see his whole body relax and he was speaking words yet, but he just gave me the awareness that there was a kid in the back was really uncomfortable having anxiety. Their mother was anxiety or had anxiety too and he was being that child and I was like, OK cool. So you’re being that kid, is that working for you? He’s like, no, and I was like, cool. So you were being you, what would that be like and would that be more fun, you know, would that be better for you? And, and it’s just the whole rest of the plane and it was awesome. So glad you brought that up because I personally love that one. That’s been so cute.

Ashley, 11:10

Yeah. Cause you know, kids, kids are, can majorly, majorly, majorly, majorly act out other people’s stuff. They’re like, they’re, they’re more willing to be as aware as they are and like if you have, if you have stuff going on in your world and like basically like if there’s something you’re trying to keep secret or something you’re trying to hide, you basically put it like assign like secret here. Like I’ve got a secret, a secret, don’t push this button and can push those buttons. Always thought because there we are the energy.

Bret, 12:26

Yeah. So what’s that like for you as an adult? Being so aware of people’s buttons that are like, “Hey, don’t push this right here”. What, what is that like for you?

Ashley, 13:12

Well, I, it’s a lot of work, but um, I always know the, the first thing I like the first way that I quote unquote feel and feelings aren’t really what’s real. It’s like what you think our feelings are actually your awareness of where somebody is functioning from. So the first, the first thing I received from someone in a, in an interaction, I used to think that is mine. And I used to like duplicated. I used to like bear it right back at them. The other day I saved me and I still do. It’s not like I don’t, it’s, it’s a choice now though. I was uh, I was at my friend, uh, Zara grandinetti and getting, getting this hair cut. She’s an amazing, um, she’s an access a certified facilitator and she’s awesome and she does this thing called I am beauty, which is really great.

Bret, 13:13

You can look it up on Facebook. There’s a great Facebook group, but I was with her and her kids were there and um, oh, I totally forgot what I was going with that story. Great Story. Great here, don’t push yes. Secret here. And also the um, so, so uh, her little girl and another little girl like started like started playing with me after the haircut and like didn’t kind of like, they’re kind of being synergy like, like I was being that right back at them back of me and it kept going and going and going until it was like a frenzy and I’m like, I’m like, Oh crap, did I just create that moment? I just kind of went and expanded like the space. And literally that’s all you really have to do. Like if you to, if you want to calm down a kid, one of the biggest things to do is literally just like you can just, you can start by closing your eyes and we can actually do it right now. All right, cool. So you can actually expand out the space in your zone and the zone of the kids you’re out. So you just close your eyes and just like perceive the outside edges of view.

Bret, 14:14

Not your body, but you as a being and just expand that in all directions and you’re already doing it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it, you’re already doing it and being it and just keep going out and further and further and further and further and further and further injury until you’re bigger than the entire universe. That’s nice because you are infinite being with the cute lobby space between the molecules.

Bret, 14:14

You can open your eyes. Now do you notice is more of a soft sophomores in more of like a willingness to receive, and be present. Like there’s nothing for energy to bounce off of. It just kinda goes through and you can practice that. Then expanding out to you, especially if you’re in like a tense situation or like a cash flow situation. If you’d just expand out. Cause when you’re, when you’re doing stress in your contracting, it’s like here is your situation as you, but when you choose to expand out like here’s the situation and then here is the that thing that seems so big. Changeable becomes draining and you can just check it.

Bret, 16:22

No big deal anymore. You’re small. Oh that’s so nice. And so that’s one of the things that you did in that moment with the two girls right? You expand it out just like that, right?

Ashley, 17:22

Yeah. And it’s kind of like a um, and uh, an MP. It’s like, MMM, nope. Yeah. And like in like military or science-fiction video games and stuff, it’s literally this bomb that you dropped it. Um, it, it makes, it renders all like electricity and technology like useless.

Bret, 17:34

Whoa, that’s cool.

Ashley, 17:58

I’m hearing all the electricity out of the situation and just, poof!

Bret, 18:00

that’s really awesome. And now I’m aware of such a spaciousness. I’m like, whew. OK. Like everything. So spacious. I have no thoughts. Like no solidity right now, which is what you were speaking about just a moment ago. It’s like there’s definitely no bounce off of sometimes. I wonder if people know about that, you know, that’s something for you and I, we’re functioning from always having that awareness about like removing the solidity and room so that we’re not in judgment, but can you talk a little bit more about that? Like how has that shifted your life to the words? I want to say it’s like pushed down your barriers or expand your energy so that you don’t have that solidity. So there’s nothing to bounce off of, can you just speak about

Ashley, 18:06

We are taught that in order to protect ourselves, in order to keep ourselves safe, that we’d have to have barriers to things that we have to keep things out that actually does. It keeps things out. But it also keeps us from. Well, it doesn’t just keep the bad things out, the wonderful things out also. So when you have no barriers, when you lower the walls and values to receiving anything you, it’s not that you will be unsafe or you will be unprotected. You’ll actually be totally aware of everything that is coming your way, and you can move out of the way instead of them knocking on your barrier.

Bret, 18:52

I love that. It makes sense. It makes a lot of sense to me and it took me a little while. I would have to. I admit that when I first learned about this, I was resistant to it because I was taught for so long that you put up more and more and more barriers to protect yourself. And what my personal story was that I put up so many barriers and it just wasn’t working and I was getting drained and exhausted and it took me at what felt like twenty four hours of protection techniques to even a little bit of relief that really wasn’t released. And so I was like, OK, something else has to be possible here. What else is possible? And when I finally was willing to push down the barriers and to be vulnerable, it was no longer work. It was the opposite of work and I felt like were not felt like. But I didn’t get attacked. It didn’t have something to attack against anymore. And I’m so glad that you’re bringing that up because that’s a big one. It’s helped me a lot and a lot of people I’ve worked with.

Ashley, 19:41

Yeah. It’s, I mean it’s still a work in progress to decide or judge that we’re not going to do again or be again receive a game and every single time. And not even from this lifetime, like anytime you decide where of those things, it doesn’t just like, it can’t just come in. It’s like you’ve literally created it so that it can’t come in again, like even the times where like let’s say you were a kid and you were being as different as you argue, we’re being open and vulnerable and somebody like somebody attacked you or said something nasty that you weren’t expecting and you could perceive all of it so intense and you didn’t know what to do and you’re like, nope, not gonna. Receive that again. But what that does is it all eliminates your capacity to receive the other intensities of life.

Bret, 20:47

Yes. Oh Wow. That was well said. That’s a great way of explaining it.

Ashley, 21:51

Yeah. Thank you. Like just, you know, the how like how intense is it to go out in the ocean?

Bret, 21:57

Oh my gosh, I’m getting the chills. Wow. That just mind blown. I mean everybody who’s listening to sort of allow yourself to really let that percolate for a minute left. That really expanded into your awareness about if you’re cutting yourself off from the intensity of receiving whatever it is that you’ve judged is maybe bad or uncomfortable or whatever wrong. You know? What about all the amazing, wonderful things to and if you were to allow yourself to receive everything, you know, what would that look like to keep going with that for a second? This is so cool.

Ashley, 22:04

You as a being extremely intense and so when you like, you know, growing up a lot, you’re being that intensity or you’re being that level of potency that you have as a kid. People are being like, no, don’t be, don’t be angry or like stop that. You don’t want to be an angry, angry girl or whatever. The thing that sticks us with that is that it wasn’t ever really anger was a level of potency and when you buy that intensity that you get a changing a situation, you can yell or whatever. It’s not anger. It’s an intensity of being an intensity of change. Like Mike just changes now.

Bret, 22:44

Oh my gosh. So many. OK. So many people, you know, kids through adults experiencing that anger, concluding that it’s anger instead of intensity instead of potency. Can you talk about, you know, how, how do they differentiate, you know, when they’re angry versus potent or is there ever a differentiation? Is it always potency, showing up as different things like how do they.

Ashley, 23:39

There are a couple of different things with anger because the energy of potency and anger are very, very, very similar and it’s very easy for people to this identify and misapply potency, so basically you could be yelling at somebody one second and then the next second you can be totally peaceful and calm and happy. Anger. You don’t lose that sense of irritation. With anger, it continues and continues and continues and your body aches. You don’t feel well, you’re, you’re just. You continue with the feelings of anger where you’re just like,

Bret, 24:04

that’s so cool. I saw love how you’re explaining this and I’m thinking in my head here, it’s like a Rolodex and thinking about how many times even my son has he been or other kids have shown a level of potency that looks like anger and then they’re done. They’re done with it. It’s like, oh, this potent. In this moment I changed what I wanted to change. Now I’m on to something else. Like they’re not. They lost it. They like use it, lose it, like says that follows me. Oh, that was awesome. I wonder what else they can create with that. That’s so awesome.

Ashley, 24:52

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And it mostly, it’s made so wrong and you know, for parents out there, um, you know, a lot of, a lot of you are probably made wrong for the potency you had as a kid. So. Yeah. So, um, so everywhere, all of you have this identified and misapplied, anger and potency, Angel and intensity, anger and the intensity of you as a being. Will you destroy and uncreate all of that right now, right and wrong, good and bad, poc, pod, all 9 shorts boys and beyonds. And do your people know the clearing statement?

Bret, 25:27

No, only my, elite clients.

Ashley, 26:07

I’m busting up your whole structure, Ashley.

Bret, 26:20

So go look at theclearingstatement.com That calm and you’ll understand what he just did. It’s awesome.

Ashley, 26:22

Exactly the clearing statement. It’s basically a way away in the moment to change an energy because a lot of the stuff that we’re talking about can seem airy fairy, but you can actually apply it to your life and when you, if you apply it to your life or it doesn’t work, if it doesn’t work, ask another question. Don’t make you wrong.

Bret, 26:27