91. Conversation with a Client: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at What Happens When Wives Earn More

The Suzanne Venker Show

It is one of the most taboo topics on the planet: what happens when wives earn more. The following podcast is an in-depth look at what happened when one wife's side hustle exploded and created a rift in her marriage, causing resentment and frustration that led to an eventual separation.

When Lauren Taylor, who's from South Africa, first reached out to me, she and her husband Jarryd had separated and were close to divorce when she heard me on The Mikhaila Peterson Podcast. After purchasing and reading a copy of The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage, Lauren signed up for marriage coaching.

On her intake form, Lauren wrote that she wanted "to be softer and kinder and more tolerant of her husband's shortcomings, to find a way to effectively balance their roles and responsibilities, to find a solution to their finances, to stop feeling resentful, and to feel safe, secure, and adored."

Several years prior to their separation, Lauren had started an online weight-loss business called Happy Shrinkers—which was fueled by her own struggle to lose weight—with the intent of having it be a side gig. Instead, it exploded and before she knew it she was out-earning her husband tenfold.

Lauren is not an anomaly. She represents millions of women who are out-earning the men they love, and it's causing problems no wants to talk about. If you read about breadwinning wives in the news, the message is always the same: Men need to "man up" and get over it.

This is a very simplistic and entirely unhelpful narrative. This new marital dynamic is far from innocuous, nor is it going away. Both men and women suffer, albeit in different ways, when wives earn more—and divorce is much more likely to occur. Even if couples don't get divorced, their marriages are often mired in conflict.

That is why I'm enormously grateful to Lauren for having the courage to come on The Suzanne Venker Show and discuss this very timely, and very personal, subject. It is my hope that her story resonates and helps other couples in the same boat understand what they're dealing with and gain useful insights about how keep their relationship afloat.