#98: Candy Marcum, Counselor extraordinaire teaches us about the Gottman Method for couples counseling and much more

Too Posh Podcast

Candy Marcum is back and in this episode we learn that she specializes in couples therapy and uses the Gottman method to assess.
John Gottman is a psychologist and typically psychologists are not talk therapists, they are researchers. He studied couples for 40 years and can tell with 96% accuracy
if a couple will make it or not by looking for the 4 horsemen in his method.
The 4 horsemen are as follows:
1. If a person is critical and always blaming
2. If a person is contentious, always thinking they are so much better than their partner.
3. If a person is defensive
4. If a person is stonewalling
When you see a couple and that is all that they are doing, they are not going to make it unless they go through counseling.
Candy teaches her clients to use the “I” word instead of the blaming “YOU” word…..
She teaches us so much about how to resolve conflicts in relationships. She emphasizes to always look for the good and not concentrate so much on the bad.
She helps couples find common ground in conflicts. She says that in every conflict there is a cry for something.
We talk about the different morals and values couples have in their relationships.She helps couples find compromise.
She talks about the heartbreaks and joys and successes of being a counselor.
Gabrielle then asks Candy’s advice about having so many people in her life that are alcoholics and addicts and how it has affected her. Candy says that when people are in their addiction nobody is more important
than the next fix.
She encourages Gabrielle to go to ALANON and Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings to try to find some peace about the situation.
We absolutely love Candy’s calm and nurturing way of counseling.
She tells us that she is very involved with the LGBTQ community and the human rights campaign. She chaired that organization for 4 years after being involved for over 10 years.
She informs us about the GLBT Chamber of Commerce. She serves on the foundation board of the GLBT Chamber.
Candy is a GLBT Counselor but she also has many straight clients.
She teaches us what the letters in LGBTQQI stand for and the meaning of them.
Then we talk about the importance of romance and date night in relationships. She teaches us that Finances and Sex are the top reasons for divorce.
She encourages everyone to read the Love Language books. Candy loves teaching others.
You can find her on www.candymarcum.com.