UE 109 - How to Skip The Line @ The Grocery Store & Why My Dad is an Asshole

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Do you want to skip the line at the grocery store, today I teach you a sentence that helps you do this.. at least in Canada.

**** Transcript****

Keiran:

What's up everybody? It is Wednesday! It's Wednesday, it's hump day it's a day where I don't have to work, it's a day where I can sleep all day, it's Wednesday! Hope it's going good for you. Hump day's a funny day isn't it? Because everyone's like, "Yes! The week is half over, half over!" That's kind of sad, that you hate the majority of the week, you're just like, "Oh, I just have to get through the week to get to Friday. On Friday things will be good." Then on Saturday you don't have to work. Then on Sunday you start to feel like shit because you know that Monday's coming.

But I love Wednesday! I don't have to work on Wednesday, but I like to work anyways, I work on my podcast, I do it for free. I work on my podcast, I don't get money, but it's fun, it's fun, it's good for you, so listen to it if you know what's good for you.

So today on the podcast, I want to talk about that idiom we did on Monday with Edward which was, "It boggles my mind, it boggles my mind". We're going to talk about something that boggles my mind. The thing that we're going to talk about that boggles my mind, is this thing that was in the newspaper last week, this story that happened last week. And my mom, she just kept talking about it to me, and she just kept talking about it, and talking about ... and then it's actually gone deep enough into my mind that I've been thinking about it. So I thought, "Fuck it's in there, why don't we just talk about it, right?" It's pretty silly. I'm going to read a little bit of this article to you, it was in the ... what newspaper was it anyway? Here let me find it. Okay, it was the Star. Star.com. I don't know what that is, that must be Toronto.

All right, this is the article title. "The grey what? Outcry as the grey jay named Canada's national bird. The grey jay, also known as the whiskey jack, is friendly, hardy, and intelligent ... just like Canadians," hah hah hah, "experts say."

So basically, the Royal Canadian Geographic Society had a vote about which bird people should choose to represent Canada, and they decided to choose the grey jay, and people are upset about it. They're like, "What? What the hell's the grey jay? I've never heard about that before. Why are we picking the grey jay? Why don't we pick the loon, you know, the one that goes 'woo'," which is the sound a loon makes, it's pretty cool.

Uh so people are outraged about it, they're angry, and it just boggled my mind. Why do you care so much about what bird a little group of people decided was important? It really ... it's insignificant, right? But I read a little bit about the grey jay and it's actually a pretty cool bird. It's found all over Canada. It's the only bird that's found all across Canada, I'm pretty sure. Maybe seagulls are found in ... nah, I bet seagulls aren't in the middle of Canada. And then it's very intelligent apparently, it's a hardy bird. It can withstand harsh ... a harsh environment, harsh weather. Apparently it incubates its egg in minus 30 degrees temperatures. That's amazing. So it's a good parent.

People are upset, and it just boggles my mind. These people, literally someone somewhere in the world was like, "What, the grey jay, what the fuck is that? Why didn't we ... Choose the loon, choose the snowy owl, choose the Canadian goose!" I don't think we should call the Canadian goose the Canadian goose, because it goes to Florida for the winter. I think it needs to be like the Canadian-American goose or something. Anyways, that's it about that.

I want to share with you guys another little story, another little English sentence you can use, and I ... about two years ago when my daughter was two years old, I spent lots of time with her. There's this thing that happens with young children which you know if you ever spent a lot of time with young children, is that they are either not aware of their body or they're not good at communicating it. And you do this thing when you go anywhere with a young child, is that when you go outside, you always say, "Okay, do you need to go pee, because we're going to be in the car for a while," and then the kid will inevitably go, "No, I'm okay." Then you get in the car, and as soon as you have driven far enough from the house that you can't make it back in time for them to go to the bathroom, then they have to go to the bathroom.

One day we were at the grocery store, and then we're in the store there shopping and my daughter's like, "Daddy, I need to go pee," and it's just like, "Oh no." I picked her up with one arm, we ran to the front of the store. I only had one thing so I went to the front of the cache and I said, "You know, do you mind if I go in front of you? My daughter really has to pee." The woman looked at me, then she looked at my hand, and she said, "Well, you only have one thing, so I you can go." I was like well, okay, I thought the pee was the main reason, but I guess it's the one thing.

But something clicked in my head that I can probably do this any time. Since then, I have done that many times. If I only have one or two things, I just go to the front of the line and say, "Hi, I only have this. Do you mind if I go in front of you, because I only have one thing," and usually they let you go by.

So I was at the grocery store on Saturday and I go, I have only one thing, I've got a pack of Shin Ramyun, which is my favorite ramen. It's a Korean ramen, it's spicy. It's not good for you, don't eat it guys, it's ... I should not be eating it either.

Anyways I go to the front of the line, there's two people. I go to the second person, I'm like, "Hey man, I only have one thing, do you mind if I go in front of you?" He's like, "Yeah yeah, sure." I go in front of him, and then the other person is in front of me. I look at the other person, and it's my dad. So I tap him on the shoulder, he's like, "Yep." He doesn't look back. I'm like, "Sir, do you mind if I go in front of you in line?" He's like, "Yeah sure." Then he turns around and sees me and he's like, "Hell no you're not going in front of the line!" Then the guy behind me, who already let me in front of the line, starts laughing, he goes, "Heh heh heh what an asshole." I'm like, "Yeah, I know!" Then my dad started laughing, and I was laughing, and the guy behind us was laughing. But of course, he's not going to let me go in front of me, because he ... because I'm his son, right? He doesn't care. He knows I'm not going anywhere important at that time of the day on Saturday.

That's it guys, so you can try that out. Let me know if that works in your country. Do you mind if I go in front of you, I only have one thing? I wonder, is this a Canadian thing, because we have a reputation for being very polite, or is this a worldwide thing that you can just butt in front of someone if you only have one thing?

All right guys, that's the end of the podcast, so remember: it boggles my mind, use it, write a few sentences, share it with a friend, and do you mind if I go in front of you, I only have one thing, a little weird little life hack for skipping the line if you only have a few items.

All right, I hope you enjoyed this podcast, I'll catch you on the next podcast of Uncensored English.

126 episodes available. A new episode about every 2 days averaging 14 mins duration .