Family and Homeschool Cooperation

Vintage Homeschool Moms

Family and Homeschool Cooperation ~ Episode 414

It is time to have everyone on the same page, the kids, and the parents, and that means needs family and homeschool cooperation. Does everyone realize you are all on the same team and working toward the same common goals? In this episode, we discuss getting the kids on team-homeschool and having the homeschool experience that we all dream about in our homes.

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Getting the kids to cooperate in our homeschool day is sometimes the hardest thing we can attempt in our lives. Keyword here is “attempt” but it does not have to be this way. Our kids are smarter than we think and sometimes I feel we do not give them enough credit for making the right decisions especially when the facts are laid out. I acted like a homeschool dictator from time to time and when I did I receive the pushback that was normal from kids who thought that things were unfair. But, once they realized that my shortness of patience or the reason I would get upset for that pesky math book that was lost more times than it was found, they understood. What did they understand? That no matter how many times the book was lost the assignment remained.

I recently learned of a busy family that was in dire trouble because the mom took on all of the day-to-day household activities but resented this and ultimately complained to her family about being overburdened. The goal in her mind was to express her frustration and this was her cry for help. However, it went ignored. The consensus was, this is your issue because you want the house, laundry, meals to look a certain way and we really don’t care. So the complaining and the frustration continues on. If we were all together for a brainstorming activity I am sure we could come up with a list of what this overworked mom should do…but it boils down to this. What is the straw that will break the camels back? In other words, what is it going to take to get the entire family on board that mom and/or dad need help? It takes an action plan and homeschool and family cooperation!

Think about this seriously, spoiled kids become spoiled

Here are the facts:

Parents:

1. Head of the family. And you are responsible.
2. We have a schedule or routine to keep in our homeschool day.
3. We have a house to maintain, meals to make, and laundry/cleaning to fit in.
4. We have a partner in all of this, and that is our spouse. If you are a single parent and a Christian, your partner is the Lord!

Kids:

1. Wake up each day, not necessarily excited about school. *yes there is an exception to the norm!
2. Tired, hungry, and waiting to be directed by a parent or other siblings
3. Has things they want to do, ie: hobby or play
4. Not sure what is expected of them every day (unless there is a chore chart and things are spelled out ahead of time.)

For some of us, the rules and the assignments are clearly laid out and everyone knows the routine and what their job is within the context of a family, and for other families, the parents take on the main responsibly. The end result of that is the parents are upset, angry, and frustrated that all of the work lands on their shoulders. Moms and Dads with little ones, I get it! But, there is help… family, friends, people from church, babysitters. We can enlist the help of others or just take things off of your list. We can be our own worse enemies. I use to give myself so many to-dos in one day there was no way I could get 1/3 of the things on my list completed. Does this sound familiar.

So, here is the issue. Most of the time the big picture is not laid out.

1. We are a family.
2. We are on the same team.
3. We want only good for our family.
4. We want our kids to grow, prosper, and learn.
5. We want to work toward a common goal!

But what is that goal?

1. Children who are well rounded, love the Lord.
2. Happy family, enjoying each other’s company.
3. Household chores shared. Chores clearly explained.
4. School Scheduled: School 5 days a week? 4-Days a week?
5. Day off Scheduled? Vacation? Days for catching up? Field trips? Extracurricular?

Kids:

1. You are part of a family.
2. You have an obligation to learn.
3. You have an obligation to follow family rules.
4. You have an obligation to help out and volunteer if not asked.

So, what’s the problem? Implementation and follow-through. I was great with the grandiose ideas, but it was the follow-through that had me stuck. Real-life got in the way. Issues with elderly parents, another pregnancy, or job issues with my husband’s career. But, if the kids know that we are all working together for a common goal this will be remedied and everyone can get on board.

The Real Solution For Family and Homeschool Cooperation:

1. Have a family meeting, let the kids know the issue at hand (mom and dad need help, we are all part of a family with the same goals, etc.).
2. Ask the kids for their input if they are old enough to share ideas? You would be surprised/ shocked!
3. Listen to all the ideas and advice and compromise and get their cooperation to make changes.
4. Tell your children what you expect. Charts, lists, whatever it takes.
5. Have routine family meetings, put it on the calendar, and update as needed.

I pray your family enjoys a wonderful time making memories instead of working on discipline and frustration all of the time! And, I want to let you know about my other podcast, A Few Minutes with God Podcast for some short and encouraging faithful episodes! Check out Cooperate with God’s Grace here.

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