Wedding Etiquette Rules You Can Kiss GOODBYE

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By Kara Lamerato. Discovered by Player FM and our community — copyright is owned by the publisher, not Player FM, and audio is streamed directly from their servers. Hit the Subscribe button to track updates in Player FM, or paste the feed URL into other podcast apps.

Are you drowning in wedding "etiquette" and "rules"?

Everyone has an opinion on invitation wording, cash bars, inviting kids, and what traditions absolutely SHOULD be included in the wedding day.

Today, let’s take a step back, and reframe things.

I appreciate that you’re listening from all different backgrounds, regions, & cultures. What is the norm in NYC may be entirely opposite in Charleston, and unheard of in Los Angeles.

Part of the inspiration for today’s episode is my husband and I coming from two very different parts of the country, and our separate expectations of what should & shouldn’t happen at a wedding.

Where he’s from, it’s totally normal to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a huge wedding for 300 of your closest family & friends. The brides family pays. It’s unheard of to have a cash bar, to not ride in a limo, and to not invite kids.

Where I’m from, pretty much everything opposite of that. I have a really small family, and celebrating your reception in the basement of the church with no booze is pretty normal.

Where things get tricky is when our expectations of what a wedding “should” look like conflict with our budget, our styles, and our personalities.

And of course, an added layer of difficulty arises when you and your partner come from different backgrounds, and one of you thinks paying $10,000 for a photographer is completely reasonable, and the other wants to spend $10,000 total on the entire wedding.

But no matter where you’re from, I’m a firm believer in your wedding day being an expression and celebration of you & your partner. At the end of the day, you’re making a really special commitment to one another, and looking to celebrate the occasion with your loved ones. That’s it!

With that said, let’s look at these “wedding etiquette rules” with a fresh set of eyes. Forget what “everyone else is doing,” and open up the possibilities beyond that.

Please know, believe, and trust that you truly have the support from me to ditch what everyone else is doing, and craft your day, your way.

No this doesn’t mean being blatantly rude or disagreeable to your family, or sneaking behind your partner to sabotage something that you know they really want.

You will need to continuously deploy common sense, compromise and understanding throughout your engagement. But these commonly held beliefs can by all means be reinvented.

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