The Army: A Gap Year Where You Get Killed

What a Hell of a Way to Die

It will probably come as no surprise to you that the military is having hard time meeting its recruiting goals. In fact, for the first time since 2005 (a year when nothing bad happened), the Army failed to meet its fiscal year target. So, in response to this, Training and Doctrine Command have discussed a variety of new options: recruiting crossfitters (with special fitness assignments at Fort Knox), recruiting gamers (fielding an all-Army Fortnite team), and, unthinkably, recruiting the libs.

“You want to do a gap year?” said General Muth, whose name sounds like a planet from Star Wars. “Come do your gap year in the Army.”

Yes, folks, the military wants to attract Generation Z with some sweet floss dances and badass gaming when you’re not buffing the barracks floors: https://www.armytimes.com/news/your-army/2019/01/04/new-in-2019-the-army-is-pulling-out-all-the-stops-to-attract-generation-z/

And Fox News seems to think we haven’t had recruiting stations in big cities up until now (“We fucking shouldn’t!” your Facebook uncle who did 4 years in the Navy between 1979-1983 just said. “That’s a damn Bergdahl Army right there!”) https://www.foxnews.com/us/army-stepping-up-recruitment-in-22-left-leaning-cities

For this week’s bonus episode, Nate and Francis review the 1994 classic Pauly Shore film ‘In the Army Now’ and ask the most important question: is it fascist? Patreon subscribers at the $3 tier and above can access that episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/is-it-fascist-in-23825090

*Veterans t-shirt notice* We have a new shirt available on our store. Did you know that VA disability is UBI for warriors? Well, you do now: https://teespring.com/deeply-conflicted-tee_copy_1#pid=387&cid=101810&sid=front

You can follow the show on Twitter here: @HellOfAWay Follow Nate here: @inthesedesertsFollow Francis here: @ArmyStrang