Relationships: Expectations vs Agreements – with Bob Conlin

World Game-Changers

On this episode guest host Bob Conlin presents another of his relationship episodes, this time about experiences in relationships that can support us or create more conflict and challenges for us: The notion of having expectations in relationships versus agreements.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• We all have expectations and these thoughts and feeling of how it should go, how our feeling and thoughts of relationships should play out. Notice that word: “should”.
• We want to expect certain things in our lives and relationships but when we use those expectations as traps or barriers or ways to not get our needs met then we run into trouble and problems. An expectation is simply a strong belief that something will or should happen in the future, and that we will or should experience it. When this becomes an issue is when these expectations don’t get communicated, they can be a very one-sided thought/feeling/conversation with yourself that doesn’t get communicated to the other, or is not communicated in a way that the people we’re in relationship with can hear it or support you with it.
• If we can move out of expectation and into agreement we’re in a much better place to get our needs met. It’s less mindreading and more partnership, which is the goal for so many relationships, it’s getting into a stronger, more connected partnership in all aspects and areas of life.
• What do you notice about the expectations that you place on yourself, your romantic partner, your family members, etc. Look at how it’s working out, how are you left feeling, how are they left feeling, what is their experience of you, what is your experience of yourself, are these expectations actually working for you? Then look at what if you created agreements inside you’re your relationships. How do we want to love each other, how do we want to co-parent, how do we want to move this organisation together, how do we want to focus on this goal. It becomes very much as ‘we’ conversation and an opportunity to achieve what you wish to achieve.

BEST MOMENTS

‘When we create agreements in relationships it creates much more harmony and balance and connectedness versus having expectations.’

‘My first default response to “do you need anything?” is “nothing, I’m fine”. don’t know why I’m like that or where I learned it. It gets me in trouble and then I get upset.’

‘Expectations are traps that we place for our partners. They are a way that we don’t get our needs met or get them met in the wrong way.’

‘Agreement is harmony in how we feel, what we need, it’s both of us coming together to agree on something so both individuals can take an appropriate course of action, whatever that may be.’

VALUABLE RESOURCES

• Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272

• Paul’s Story: Emerging From The Forest (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Emerging-Forest-Pain-Purpose-Mastering/dp/1719373272

• Mastering The Game Of Life Book (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679

• Mastering The Game Of Life Book (USA): https://www.amazon.com/Mastering-Game-Life-Paul-Lowe/dp/1782227679

• Speaking From Our Hearts Books: Volumes 1-3 (Available on Amazon)

• World Game-Changers Group

ABOUT THE GUEST

Bob is a Life, Love and Leadership champion, author, coach, trainer, husband, father, and a professional certified coach with the International Coach Federation.

His philosophy is that we are in relationship to everything and the top three opportunities for growth exist in self, loving others, and career. As a relationship coach, he’s doing the work that he was meant to do to, in order to fulfil his life purpose.

As the author of the forthcoming book ‘Why Your Relationships Suck: How to Create Strong Relationships with Courage and Heart’ – and as a devoted student of the relationship development he preaches – Bob enjoys a rewarding and fuller life being a husband, coach, leader, musician, and traveller. He and his family were featured in Episode 3 of CBS’s “The Greatest #AtHome Videos” in August 2020.

Website: www.conlincoaching.com

ABOUT THE HOST

Paul has made a remarkable transformation from existing for many years in dark, desperate despair; to now living a really healthy, happy and fulfilling life.

From an early age, he was in the vice-like clutches of the demon drink and constantly embroiled within a dark cocktail of toxic beliefs, self-hate and destructive violence.

Along with his empathetic and dedicated team of world-class coaches and mentors, Paul’s purpose is deeply transformational:

Developing World Game-Changers…

He is extremely passionate about helping others to find their purpose, have a voice and ultimately, make a real difference.

This has been built on a long and distinguished history of heart-centred coaching and mentoring. He has also been responsible for raising significant amounts of funds for many charities and good causes around the world; positively impacting and inspiring thousands of children – mainly from challenging backgrounds – within the UK & worldwide.

Through this World Game-Changers podcast and books, he has been involved in – including being a best-selling co-author – Paul also helps others to get their own inspirational messages and stories out into the world; as well as offering support to many charitable organisations, in their development & fund-raising.

CONTACT METHODS

Tel: [phone]