Ep 128: UnPop Cons, Holly Vallance & Gregg Wallace...

The Trawl

Grab your popcorn, we're off to Pop Con...Jemma and Marina take you through the lowlights of the Popular Conservatism conference - the latest Tory splinter group headed up, unironically, by the most unpopular Conservative known to man, Liz Truss.

After realizing they are both "left-wing extremists" in Truss's power-sodden mind, Jemma and Marina discuss how after the anti-elites Pop Con conference, 30 Conservatives gathered for cocktails at Rees-Mogg’s £5m Westminster townhouse, at 2pm, on a Tuesday, like we all do.

Then it's move over Mike Graham - there's a new genius in town, and this one is the MP for Ashfield, 30p Lee who took to the stage to declare that coal is sustainable, just like concrete.Jemma and Marina explore the underlying beliefs that drives all conservatives, before putting to the test a crucial theory posed by James O'Brien: Would Jacob-Ress Mogg be taken seriously if the guff that fell from his mouth was delivered with a working-class accent? The results are 100% conclusive.

Then it's onto THAT clip of Holly Vallance, in which the ex-soap and pop starlet declared lefty ideas to be "crappy". And that everyone starts off a lefty until they get houses or jobs - and then they move to the right. Or in Vallance's case, they marry a billionaire.Moving on, the ladies chat through a day in the life of MasterChef's, Gregg Wallace after an article he wrote for The Telegraph Magazine left a lot of us questioning his life choices...and then our own...and then also fancying a Harvester breakfast.

The Trawl ends with some tips from the Daily Mail for how to fend off an XL bully if you find yourself under attack - really useful stuff, just remember not to leave the house without your spare carrier bag of attack meat. And Marina offers up her own eye-opening advice, which requires no props at all.

To finish is a delightful pudding from Satirist Sue Harrison of Liz Truss - if she went to an improv class.

Thank you for sharing and do tweet us @MarinaPurkiss @jemmaforte @TheTrawlPodcast

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