The Borts Podcast is a collection of audio projects by Ben Wietmarschen, Ashley Chavez, and silent partner Harrison P. Pants. Past projects include scripted series, non-topical sports talk, and made-for-TV Christmas movie discussion. --- Email us questions, comments, or pictures of yourself at a sporting event kissing someone you love right smack dab on the lips or cheek, here: sportsborts@gmail.com OR here: benwietmarschen@gmail.com. --- To support The Borts podcast and enable new projects ...
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"Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas" (Repost) - A Borts Original Christmas Movie
1:16:57
1:16:57
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Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (originally published in 5 parts-December, 2020) is a scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all--including an inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance'--until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be f…
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Christmas Borts - "Saying Yes To Christmas"
40:30
40:30
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Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "Saying Yes To Christmas" a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie. From Lifetime:…
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Christmas Borts - "Falling For Christmas" Starring Lindsay Lohan
50:19
50:19
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Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "Falling For Christmas" a 2022 Netflix Original Christmas movie. From Netflix: "Af…
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Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "#Xmas," a 2022 Hallmark Original Christmas movie. From Hallmark: "When Jen gets t…
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Christmas Borts - "Serving Up the Holidays"
45:29
45:29
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Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "Serving Up the Holidays," a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie. From Lifetime…
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Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we THROW IT BACK 7 YEARS when we recap and review "Angel Of Christmas," a 2015 Hallmark Original Chris…
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Christmas Borts - "Christmas On Mistletoe Lake"
46:03
46:03
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46:03
Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest, wildest, and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "Christmas On Mistletoe Lake," a 2022 Lifetime Original Christmas movie. From Life…
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Christmas Borts - "Lights, Camera, Christmas"
39:57
39:57
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39:57
After a THREE YEAR hiatus, Christmas Borts is back! Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest and wildest and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "Lights, Camera, Christmas,"…
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Christmas Borts - "Well Suited For Christmas"
41:12
41:12
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41:12
After a THREE YEAR hiatus, Christmas Borts is back! Christmas Borts is an offshoot of the Sports Borts Podcast where Ben Wietmarschen and Ashley Chavez recap and review the weirdest and wildest and stone-cold wackiest straight to tv and straight to streaming Christmas movies of the year. -- This week we recap and review "Well Suited For Christmas,"…
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The Second Baseman Has Butterfeet (Audiobook by "Matthew Christopher")
44:40
44:40
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Ever since his carefree days playing Little League Baseball, Ezekial Stanton has dreamed of becoming a Major League second baseman. The one thing that's kept him from achieving his dream is his inability to turn a double play. Always slipping, falling over, and eating shit before he could throw the ball to first. This inability led to opposing team…
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Kevin is just a normal guy trying to watch a basketball game and yearning to find THE ONE when his ex-girlfriend's dad, Frank, rings the doorbell, air mattress in hand. "Me And My 5 Ex-Girlfriends' Dads" is a scripted sitcom pilot podcast that introduces the story of Kevin, Frank, and 4 more Dads of Kevin's Ex-Girlfriends that are having trouble in…
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1
Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (Full Version Repost)
1:16:57
1:16:57
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Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (originally published in 5 parts-December, 2020) is a scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all--including an inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance'--until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be f…
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Fake voice-over reel. For Voice-Over inquiries, email: benwietmarschen@gmail.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/borts/support
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Ch 5 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, Let's Get The Heck On Outta Here..."
15:09
15:09
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Chapter 5 - "Whitney, Let's Get The Heck On Outta Here..." -- Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can on…
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Ch 4 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, I Failed You."
23:23
23:23
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23:23
Chapter 4 - "Whitney, I Failed You" -- Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an ador…
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Ch 3 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, I Exist!"
7:28
7:28
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7:28
Chapter 3 - "Whitney, I Exist!" -- Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an adorable…
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Ch 2 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, Come Back Home!"
8:53
8:53
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8:53
Chapter 2 - "Whitney, Come Back Home!" -- Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by an a…
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Ch 1 Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas - "Whitney, Where Is Your Head"
22:03
22:03
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22:03
Chapter 1 - "Whitney, Where Is Your Head?" -- Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas is a 5-part scripted Christmas movie podcast telling the story of a busy big city businesswoman who thinks she has it all (inevitable job promotion and hot soon-to-be fiance') until she realizes there is a Christmas Magic-sized gap in her heart that can only be filled by …
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TRAILER: Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas (A Scripted Christmas Movie Podcast)
1:19
1:19
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To kick off the new and improved channel for The Borts Podcast, here's a trailer for "Dreaming Of A Whitney Christmas," a scripted Christmas movie podcast that will be released into this feed November 30th, the Monday after Thanksgiving aka PRIME Christmas movie time! It will be released in 5 short chapters, all of which will be available to listen…
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The calendar has turned to December and the BORTS have turned into CHEESY MOVIE WATCHING MACHINES. Throughout the yuletide month, we'll be watching our favorite made-for-tv Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and MarVista and recapping them (sometimes with guests!). And if you're a good boy or girl, the Xmas Borts Elf will deliver a message a…
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Christmas Borts - "Staging Christmas"
1:11:11
1:11:11
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The calendar has turned to December and the BORTS have turned into CHEESY MOVIE WATCHING MACHINES. Throughout the yuletide month, we'll be watching our favorite Christmas movies from Lifetime, Hallmark, and MarVista and recapping them (sometimes with guests!). And if you're a good boy or girl, the Xmas Borts Elf will deliver a message at the end of…
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Sports are great but the one thing we all agree on: They could be better! The only way to do that is to change the rules. Ben has a bunch of new rule ideas for baseball, basketball, football, and soccer that he thinks will make everything better. The Sports Borts Rules Courts is where he presents these new rule changes to Ashley "The Judge" Chavez-…
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Cut, Trade, Super Max with Jason Flowers
1:23:57
1:23:57
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Yes, we've all played "Fuck, Marry, Kill." We get it, it's fun to cuss and wallow gallows humor from time to time, but the BORTS are more serious-minded about these things. Especially when it comes to sports. Funnyman Jason Flowers joins the podcast and brings his sports version of FMK: "Cut, Trade, Super Max!" We explore the best sports trios of a…
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50 Sports Things For 50 (and 51) Episodes pt. 2
1:27:42
1:27:42
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The Borts celebrate the 50th (and, technically, 51st) episode by discussing 50 separate, unique, beautiful, dumb, disgusting, big, small, and medium sports things! Part 1: August 13, 2019 Part 2: August 20, 2019 ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-p…
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50 Sports Things For 50 (and 51) Episodes pt. 1
1:27:31
1:27:31
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The Borts celebrate the 50th (and, technically, 51st) episode by discussing 50 separate, unique, beautiful, dumb, disgusting, big, small, and medium sports things! Part 1: August 13, 2019 Part 2: August 20, 2019 ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-p…
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5 Hypothetical Sports Questions with Gary Richardson
1:27:17
1:27:17
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"I don't entertain hypotheticals" ...is something you'll never hear on this dang old podcast. We love hypotheticals! In fact, we think they're VERY entertaining! The Borts welcome the very funny and nice Gary Richardson (SNL) to the Headquarts to ponder over 5 Q's: 1-What is the rubric for being the GOAT? 2-If you could be present for any sports mo…
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NBA Las Vegas Summer League with Matt Hobby
1:32:59
1:32:59
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If you're like most Borts-heads, there's nothing more simultaneously calming AND exciting to you than watching your team play in an offseason league. We all know about baseball's Spring Training and, of course, soccer's famous FRIENDLIES, but how much do you know about NBA Summer League in Las Vegas every summer. It's got everything! Basketball's b…
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Professional Wrestling with Dan Black
1:29:13
1:29:13
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Is Professional Wrestling a sport? That’s a question that is not addressed in this episode of Sports Borts because, frankly, we don't care. It's fun! And everyone who does it has a great bod! The very funny Dan Black (Comedians of Wrestling Podcast!) comes on the program to school the Borts on the dense, chaotic, thrilling, and most of all, ENTERTA…
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Spend a little time on Rickey Henderson's Baseball Reference page (https://www.baseball-reference.com/players/h/henderi01.shtml) (Plz sponsor us Baseball-Reference!) and you will see that he's one of the best players in baseball history, but you'd also only be getting HALF the story... The very funny and sports savvy comedy man, Dan Abramson, stops…
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The Milwaukee Bucks with Rick Carrera
1:30:17
1:30:17
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Milwaukee! The land of beer and brats and Giannis Antetokounmpo and this week's guest on the Borts: Rick Carrera! The newly hyper-relevant Bucks took the NBA by storm this year, finishing with the League's best record and (possibly) an MVP. But what's it like to actually be a Milwaukee Bucks fan? Rick walks us through his history with the team incl…
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Borts Survey: What's The Coolest Position In Each Sport?
53:40
53:40
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Shooting Guard...Tight End...Third Baseman...ALL great positions, but which one is the coolest? It's a question that children have been debating--either explicitly or, more likely, implicitly by unconsciously placing their cooler position'd peers higher on the social ladder--in their social circles forever. This week, the Borts tackle it. Ashley is…
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Sports Betting with Austin Rodrigues
1:28:28
1:28:28
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Tired of just sitting and watching sports without the threat of losing your rent money if Blake Bortles throws an interception? Well, betting on sports will take care of that common problem IMMEDIATELY! The very funny and good guy Austin Rodrigues joins the BORTS to school them on the basics of wagering on athletics and all their positives and nega…
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The Top 5 Players In The NBA Right Now with Carmen Christopher
1:24:45
1:24:45
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LeBron James? Kevin Durant? Kawhi Leonard? Etc.? Who are the best 5 basketball players in the National Basketball Association right now as of this moment? THAT is the question The Borts answer this week with our ultra funny guest, Carmen Christopher. Carmen is a Chicago Bulls fan who loves Michael Jordan and hates the Warriors but in the cool under…
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Sports are great but the one thing we all agree on: They could be better! The only way to do that is to change the rules. Ben has a bunch of new rule ideas for baseball, basketball, football, and soccer that he thinks will make everything better. The Sports Borts Rules Courts is where he presents these new rule changes to Ashley "The Judge" so she …
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1
Self-Conscious Boston Sports Fandom with Darren Miller
1:32:27
1:32:27
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Why do so many people so revile Boston sports teams and their fans? Because Tom Brady and Bill Belichick are so hateable? Sure. Because they have an easily mocked regional accent? Of course. But also maybe because people are jealous? No. It's because they win the most and sports fans hate the people who are lucky enough to win the most. Duh. Darren…
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1st Birthday Borts Bash - Ashley And Ben Home Teamz Only Special
55:54
55:54
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Sports Borts was birthed into this world one year ago and The Borts are celebrating by talking about their favorite teams! We're talking Giants, Reds, Bearcats, Warriors, and so much more! ... If you or anyone you know would like to advertise anything on Sports Borts, simply email sportsborts@gmail.com. It's a name-your-own-price situation, so don'…
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Sure they throw batteries, barf on 11 year olds, and chuck snowballs at freakin' SANTA CLAUS, but are Phillies Phans really that bad? The Borts welcome funny writer and Pennsylvania native Mary Lordes into the Headquarts to make the case for the most notorious fan base in American sports. And guess what? She makes a GREAT case! They take up a very …
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NBA "Instigators" with Adam Lustick
1:38:27
1:38:27
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"Hey!" "Foul!" "Why'd you do that?!" "Stop!" "I'm gonna beat you up!" ...are just a few phrases you will often hear from the subject of this episode of Sports Borts: INSTIGATORS. Whether it's on the basketball court, the baseball diamond or, heck, the common office break room, some people are cut from the instigating cloth and love nothing more tha…
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The 2019 Major League Baseball Season with Ricardo Marquez
1:44:38
1:44:38
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Baseball is back, baby! On Thursday March 28th the 2019 MLB season will begin and that means you can have baseball games on in the background while you do stuff for the next 6 months...pretty exciting, right? Ricardo Marquez (Crispychicken.co) joins the Borts to answer the question "isn't baseball great?" as well as chat about Mike Trout, stadium f…
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2019 NCAA March Madness Brackets with The Borts
1:02:22
1:02:22
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The 2019 NCAA Men's basketball tournament is here and the Borts are filling out their brackets. Who will win, who's the Cinderella, which game gets dubbed the "turd of the tournament," all that stuff. But it's not just boring pencil scratches, it's discussion of the tournament, how to watch at the office, strategies for who to pick, and much much m…
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Golf In The 90's with Zach Broussard
1:26:50
1:26:50
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We're talkin' Tiger Woods, Happy Gilmore, Payne Stewart's pants, and, most of all, why anyone in the world would want to watch or play golf on this week's Borts. The talented, beautiful, nice, and funny Zach Broussard guides the Borts ever-so-gently into how to hack golf into being a fun and cool experience and not a boring and stodgy CHORE. ... If…
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LIVE! From Baseball Spring Training feat. Mom/Mother-In-Law, Rita Wietmarschen
23:26
23:26
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OK, it's not really a "live" episode in the traditional sense of the word. It wasn't in front of an audience, it was recorded in a room at the Embassy Suites hotel in the greater Phoenix area instead of the Headquarts, though, so it counts. Get off our backs! Spring Training rules! And the Borts are witnesses. Driving from L.A. to the Phoenix area …
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Switching From NFL Fan To NBA Fan & The Buffalo Bills with Carrie McCrossen
1:09:02
1:09:02
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There comes a time in every sports fan's life when they wake up and realize: the NFL sucks and the NBA is pretty dang-on cool! Very funny writer and actor and Bills fan, Carrie McCrossen, joins the Borts this week to discuss her transition from crying-about-"wide right" to wondering is-watching-the-NFL-right? And if you've ever listened to an episo…
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The Sports Borts State Of Sports 2019
1:06:34
1:06:34
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Are sports good now? Are they bad? Better than they were? Or worse? Could they be better? And how? Can anyone even tell? In this episode, the Borts take the time to check in with the status of each of the 'Big 3' sports both on and off the field. Where do they have room for improvement and where do they need to just burn it down and start over. Spo…
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Figure Skating with Caroline Cotter
1:21:35
1:21:35
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Jumps, spins, lutzes, axels, and salchows....who can keep 'em all straight?! Our guest this week can, that's who! The ultra hilarious Caroline Cotter joins The Borts in The Headquarts to talk all things FIGURE SKATING. Caroline, who thanks she stanks at figure skating but the video evidence proves otherwise, gives us the low down dirty deets on wha…
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Being A Season Ticket Holder & The Clippers with Spencer Griffin
1:22:53
1:22:53
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Going to every home game of the season for your favorite team...oh, what a dream! The Borts welcome a guest who has realized that dream with the New York Knicks AND the Los Angeles Clippers. Unbelievable! Spencer Griffin (Stoopid Buddy Stoodios) steps into the headquarts and dishes about not really having a home-grown favorite team, his latter-day …
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Memphis, Tennessee And The Grizzlies with Marshall Stratton
1:21:12
1:21:12
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Memphis, located in the western corner of Tennessee, is known for BBQ, Beale Street, and, you guessed it, basketball! Home of the Grizzlies, the team that brought us the Gasol's and Grit & Grind! Memphis is full of alliteration! Marshall Stratton is an improv and sketch comedian living in New York City. Search for him on Youtube and you'll encounte…
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Distance Running RULES! I bet you didn't wake up this morning thinking you'd hear someone say that. But the fact is: it does. Whether you're jogging a 5k, training for a marathon, or having a foot race with the kid down the street who thinks he's faster than everyone else just because he drinks two glasses of milk at dinner instead of one; running …
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The New Year Baby has hatched out of his egg and is starting to wobble onto it's chubby little legs already, but before Baby gets TOO big, the Borts list how they hope to improve as sports fans in 2019. More soccer? Less superstitions? More reading! All this and more in the first Sports Borts episode of the New Year! ... No presh, but it would be v…
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Chugging on with the *ON THE BORTS DAY OF CHRISTMAS - HOLIDAY SPORTSTACULAR*the Borts list each of their top 4 sports things of 2018, for a total of EIGHT top sports things. And this ain't no objective, Yahoo end-of-year article list or some Espy's-ass B.S., this is straight up PERSONAL, just like sports are supposed to be.There were a lot of great…
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