Best Bert Kreischer The Machine Podcasts (2023)

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J*zzin' & Rizzin' 50:59

31m ago50:59

50:59

When you learn the word “rizz” from it being added to the dictionary, it’s safe to say it’s giving old. Bryan & Krissy continue their dating show comparison with The Cut. Bryan’s first wedding Madeline Brockway’s 59 million dollar wedding Her new husband is facing life in prison Renting out Versailles Cover your ears at the Biltmore Estates! The Cu…

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Literally! With Rob Lowe

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Nikki Glaser: Face Lift in a Yurt 1:00:02

32m ago1:00:02

1:00:02

Nikki Glaser returns to Literally for even more laughs! Comedian Nikki Glaser talks to Rob about hosting "FBoy Island," escaping her parent’s house, being kind to yourself, getting voted off "Dancing With the Stars," why David Spade is underrated, cutting back on curse words, and teenaged Rob’s attempt to impress the cool Malibu surfers. Got a ques…

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Get Chucked! 45:18

1d ago45:18

45:18

Krissy’s back in the chair, and boy are we happy to have her! We’re easing back in with one of our favorites…Chuck & Love Connection. The queen is back! Krissy wasn't phrogging in Bryan’s crawl space Dog training troubles Steve-O’s clown mutiny The Dating Game Old dating shows vs new dating shows We bet Chuck has been to a few sunken bedrooms… Chuc…

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Bertcast

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# 601 - Heather McMahan Will Get You a Girlfriend 1:53:59

24m ago1:53:59

1:53:59

Subscribe to Shane Torres’ YouTube page to watch his new special “The Blue Eyed Mexican” premiering December 10th at 4PM PST: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYqBZNLk2Vf-ErSOb_sqMew?sub_confirmation=1 I sit down with comedian, Heather McMahan. We talk about Ole Miss tailgate parties, Pete Carroll’s advice, her Grandpa saving Flight 1080, best vaca…

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My Tragic Alter Ego 1:05:57

2d ago1:05:57

1:05:57

We’re all surprised Steve-O agreed to be on TCB We set expectations low Tina went to a star wars parody burlesque show We’re all weird in atlanta How did Santa get so skinny? Bryan pretending to like sports Subway, Jimmy Johns, & elephant murder A disturbing celebrity story TW: r*pe, SA, inc*st Bryan’s old country radio days Garth Brooks Garth as a…

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O, What A Clown Show! (w. Steve-O) 1:10:53

16m ago1:10:53

1:10:53

Steve-O joins Bryan and Tina (While Krissy is out for the week), and they dig deep into Steve-O's crazy life, insane stunts and the clowns that voted him off the island (AKA Royal Carribean Cruise Line)! Watch Steve-O's Bucket List special, and listen to his Podcast, Wild Ride. Bryan’s McDonald’s days Recording dumb stuff Oral coaching Steve-O’s fi…

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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2 Bears vs 2 Kelces | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 214 1:08:27

4h ago1:08:27

1:08:27

Tickets for Jon Stewart & Tom Segura are available now! This December 12th and 13th at the Wellmont Theater in Montclair, NJ. Get them now by going to https://tomsegura.com/tour Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert throw down a challenge gauntlet for fellow podcasters and football players Jason and Travis Kelce…

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Is Pee The Key? 57:41

5d ago57:41

57:41

Brace yourself. Bryan & Tina get into one of our stickiest episodes yet... Mark Cuban is leaving shark tank Fireside flop The old clubhouse days Dane Cook Drinking your own urine A half gallon?! Shoutout to the Jersey Shore Podcasts are where the bad ideas come from “Frothy” The gulping noises!!! Streaming only The pee drinkers don’t have friends T…

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Let's Get More Sexier 1:03:50

33m ago1:03:50

1:03:50

Bryan & Tina find out how they can get more sexier and get on the attack with their appearance. Director of Otherkin Tina is back! Mousey She did it for the lookbook! All you have to do is pay us lots of money A hallucinogenic journey Microdosing Getting chased by a bull on the hunt for shrooms Frankie B teaching us how to be more sexy than ever be…

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Literally! With Rob Lowe

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John Owen Lowe: No Drip, No Rizz 1:00:49

7d ago1:00:49

1:00:49

John Owen Lowe literally can’t resist teasing his father! Writer/actor John Owen Lowe joins Rob Lowe to discuss the upcoming second season of their show “Unstable” on Netflix, why he doesn’t listen to his dad’s podcast, how John Stamos ended up on the Lowe family Christmas card, what Rob is like as a father, and much more. Plus, Sheryl Lowe calls i…

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Bertcast

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# 600 - Red Rocks with My Favorite Band Goose 1:06:51

6d ago1:06:51

1:06:51

I sit down with my favorite band, Goose. We talk about their rise, influences, the magic of music, getting arrested on tour, jam band drug scenes, and much more! Follow Goose Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/goosetheband This episode is also brought to you by Black Buffalo Zero. Go to http://www.blackbuffalo.com and use the code “BERT” at check…

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Furverts & Fetlife & Otherkins! 1:10:16

16h ago1:10:16

1:10:16

Krissy is out of the studio, so Bryan & friend of the pod, Tina, get into all things drugs, fetishes, and feeling like a nonhuman being. Bryan & Tina have been friends for 30 years There’s no coming back after triplets! Tina left her dog with her nail tech! An adult man with guinea pigs…red flag Doing drugs and cutting the grass in a bath towel Res…

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Bertcast

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Something’s Burning: Josh Peck, Jason Nash, and I Make Amends and Lasagna 58:17

18h ago58:17

58:17

Subscribe to the new Something's Burning podcast page Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/somethings-burning/id1702241962 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/37IbtDi4z3z6HRtnbAi25Z?si=72718abc47344336 Josh Peck and Jason Nash come by the kitchen for some lighthearted conversation about making amends, rock bottom, and therapy. W…

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That'll Blow Your T%&$ Off (w. Heather McMahan) 1:08:18

1d ago1:08:18

1:08:18

She's beauty and she's grace, she's Heather McMahan! Bryan & Krissy gab with Heather McMahan, and she really blew our t#$% off. What makes a world tour It’s all naked in Krissy's house Bryan needs a new duvet Heather McMahan is joining us! She’s an Atlanta girl Heather’s journey Losing your pants at the fox Lettin’ it rip Smoked oysters will blow y…

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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What Kind of Car is Your Wife? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 213 1:09:00

12d ago1:09:00

1:09:00

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss the subtle art of beard dyeing, grooming near the groin, midlife crisis energy and much more! Plus, Bert shares some sober realizations he's had recently while being "California sober", and reveals to Tom how he's felt being a little bit lighter. Th…

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Barbecue Bargain Lap Dance 1:03:27

13d ago1:03:27

1:03:27

“It’s not something a customer would do. It’s something a guy who bangs hot chicks would do.” -John Anthony Lifestyle, 2023 Crumbl cookies Audio Scavenger Hunt Wow can’t believe I’m (Christina) not allowed to play!!! This is a scam!!!!! Bryan’s front door troubles Bryan’s kids are buying so many movies Back to John Anthony Lifestyle How to Get Stri…

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I'm In The Industry! 1:04:38

15d ago1:04:38

1:04:38

How To Date Strippers: lie to them about your career as an electronic DJ and paint yourself blue. Then take them to Chili's. Taylor Swift in Brazil Bryan going to the mat for Taylor How 'bout that option slot Grundle bundle's bad interview The crowd parts for Shaq! Bryan’s Blue troubles Bryan’s mom loved the pod Chili for Thanksgiving Doggie xanax …

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Literally! With Rob Lowe

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Ellie Kemper: When She Reigns 1:02:43

6d ago1:02:43

1:02:43

It’s “The Office” meets “Parks & Rec” when Ellie Kemper and Rob Lowe unite! Ellie Kemper joins Rob Lowe to discuss the differences between comedy and drama, why they both named their sons Matthew, autumn in New York City, Rob’s impressions of his celebrity friends, and much more. Got a question for Rob? Call our voicemail at (323) 570-4551. Your qu…

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Bertcast

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# 599 - Wade Boggs Outdrinks Me 1:52:42

7d ago1:52:42

1:52:42

I sit down with baseball legend, Wade Boggs. We talk about is long career in MLB, winning the World Series, his episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, the airplane drinking story, his favorite players, the hardest partiers and much more! Follow Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/officialwadeboggs This episode is brought to you by Better H…

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Clean Sac, Dirty Shoes 58:22

15d ago58:22

58:22

We may not have a lot of standards here at TCB, but one thing is for certain: no shoes on the bed! Starting things off with a disturbing story Pajama day Super Sac Scrubber 5000! Back to loofah What’s your shower routine? Steve-O & the jackass boys Steve-O’s Corey Feldman interview Things are getting strange here… Oblivious or delusional? There’s a…

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Das Funny (w. Vir Das) 1:06:11

8d ago1:06:11

1:06:11

Bryan & Krissy are welcoming Vir Das to the show (yes, you read that right, a guest!), and they talk all things religion, controversy, and sitting on each others' beds. More On Vir! Vir's Website: https://www.virdas.in/ See Vir On Tour Now: https://www.virdas.in/tour Watch His Latest Netflix Special: Click Here Watch His "2 Indias" Speech: Vir's Yo…

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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The Bears Are Back | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 212 1:18:05

17d ago1:18:05

1:18:05

Tickets for Tom's new Come Together Tour are now available! Get them now by going to https://tomsegura.com/tour Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Bert and Tom are back in the studio for some much needed catching up! They discuss Bert's new healthy habits and then immediately try out nicotine pouches. Tom shares a story …

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Phrog BnB 1:02:27

19d ago1:02:27

1:02:27

This is now a spooky scary true crime podcast with a side of giggles! Bryan & Krissy discuss “getting out of the shit,” clubbing for a living, and phrogging. If you can't handle the heat, get out of the shit! That’s the saying, right? BA flight attendant revived by construction worker in Brazil? Krissy Hoadley, for Retirement Living Clubbin’ for a …

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Nutfoliation: It's Skincare! 54:10

21d ago54:10

54:10

We’re always growing and learning here at TCB, and today Bryan is learning about shaving his balls. What a time to be alive! The extreme food contest! 9 *million* scoville We’re backing away from the gummy bear challenge, but we will do the pocky one chip challenge Thanksgiving fare Slow n low baby A day old Pizza Hut thanksgiving The Lion in Rome …

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Literally! With Rob Lowe

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Sammy Hagar: One-Dimensional Amoeba 54:59

13d ago54:59

54:59

Sammy Hagar and Rob Lowe are going to go down some rabbit holes! Legendary rock star Sammy Hagar joins Rob Lowe to discuss his upcoming tour, the amazing Van Halen song catalogue, his Cabo Wabo getaways, their alien experiences, and much more. Plus Rob answers a listener's question about "Austin Powers." Got a question for Rob? Call our voicemail a…

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Bertcast

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# 598 - Building a Comedy Mafia with Mike Vecchione 1:43:28

21d ago1:43:28

1:43:28

I sit down with comedian, Mike Vecchione. We talk about our favorite assassins, silent swag, getting bullied, our comedy mafia, and much more! Check out his special “The Attractives” on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5pI5Dj5JTk Follow Mike Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comicmikev This episode is brought to you by Better Help.…

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Once More, From Your Nose! 1:10:43

22d ago1:10:43

1:10:43

Half Song Hoadley & Bryan relive the worst American Idol auditions, and Bryan finds himself feeling a kinship for them. We got an alien! Clean house clean mind The buck stops with bryan and he doesn't like it Fake Christmas trees Half Song Hoadley is a verb now Don’t listen to our old episodes Find a Chopper Johnson album on ebay John Daker Attempt…

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Bertcast

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Something’s Burning: Yung Gravy, Trevor Wallace, Pork Chops, Spray Tans and Me 51:56

21d ago51:56

51:56

I turn my kitchen into a spa for Yung Gravy and Trevor Wallace… there’s nothing like the smell of spray tans and sizzling pork chops at the same time. And while we each take a turn at getting branded and going into the booth, we’re also discussing the finer points in life… like one-night-stands, hammocks, and Gravy’s camp counseling career. Follow …

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Wheelin' Dealin' Warlocks 1:12:42

24d ago1:12:42

1:12:42

Don't worry everyone, we've got a captain of industry in the warlock world to save us from the devil of disney and Jared Leto. Jared Leto climbed the empire state building? Unregulated fair rides Bryan is not a fan of heights 30 Seconds To Mars or 33P? This economy! Warlocks! Milk! Tetas! Hocus Pocus 2 is ruining everything The demonic kingdom?! Wh…

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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The Crazy World of Steve-O | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 211 1:23:33

26d ago1:23:33

1:23:33

Welcome to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Bert Kreischer is joined by guest bear Steve-O. They discuss Steve-O’s new special, the start of his entertainment career, his Jackass co-stars, his time in rehab, what it means to be happy, and much more. They also talk on the phone to Mike “Cowhead” Calta, and Dr. Drew Pinsky. https://toms…

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Bob's Demon Nether Region 1:01:39

19d ago1:01:39

1:01:39

You know what they say: when in doubt, exorcise it out! Bryan & Krissy lure us into some TCB lore and introduce us to Bob’s Demon PeePee. Bryan was right! NFTs are worthless The pyramid scheme where you never get to the top! Elon’s losing his marbles Breaking Twitter, by Ben Mezrich TCB LORE/LURE Lure ya with the lore! Murder Suicide Real life exor…

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Literally! With Rob Lowe

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John Taylor: Feed Each Other 44:17

20d ago44:17

44:17

Duran Duran’s John Taylor and Rob Lowe definitely shared some Teen Beat magazine covers back in the day! In this episode, John Taylor joins Rob Lowe to discuss the spooky new Duran Duran album, “Danse Macabre,” what it’s like to record a James Bond theme song, John’s experience moving to Los Angeles, and much more. Got a question for Rob? Call our …

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Come On Down To Tile Town! 1:05:36

20d ago1:05:36

1:05:36

From Pat Sajak sellin’ tile to doing bumps at a Raiders game, this episode is full to bursting with fair to middling content! Sick kids - get your flu shot! Doin’ cocaine at the Raiders game iPad fiances on 90 Day Fiance Ask TCB! Finding your situationship on the dating apps… This is a slippery slope, babe! Bryan The Therapist has arrived Appointme…

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Bertcast

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# 597 - Chris Distefano & I Don’t Cry Over Sweet Treats 1:49:40

29d ago1:49:40

1:49:40

I sit down with comedian, Chris Distefano. We talk about the 1975, treats, fasting, struggling with weight, performing for the troops, sharts, family time, and much more! Follow Chris Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisdcomedy Upgrade your wardrobe and get up to 60% OFF @trueclassic at http://www.trueclassictees.com/BERTCAST #trueclassicpod …

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Bryan's Nut Butt Craft Beer! 1:05:42

23d ago1:05:42

1:05:42

TCB is now proudly serving Bryan’s Nut Butt Beer! Yeah…don’t ask, just listen. A teacher with an Only Fans side gig The balloons are back Bryan doing “research” for TCB $5 FIB! There’s a whole language we don’t know! Audio Scavenger Hunt!!!!!!! We’re giving away $1000 Scammy texts The world’s hottest gummy bear Bryan vs Krissy, it’s a spray tan thr…

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Bears, Chicken, & Flava Flav...Oh My! 1:02:43

24d ago1:02:43

1:02:43

We got bears in Pigeon Forge, sad chicken for Bryan, and Flava Flav singing the national anthem at an NBA game…we always keep it interesting here at TCB! Bryan’s Father-in-Law is “Ay, Bryan”-ing again Gettin’ shocked Pigeon Forge Bears! Fool's gold! Bryans in charge of picking the restaurant… A life size Paula Deen cut out Ah, the old “meat n four”…

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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Bombing In Front Of De Niro w/ Colin Quinn | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 210 1:12:42

1M ago1:12:42

1:12:42

SPONSORS: -Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Colin Quinn joins Tom to discuss some of their most horrific bomb stories. Colin also talks about working at SNL, his favorite (and least favorite) SNL hosts, and some pretty wild Chevy Chase stories. Tom is convinced that dr…

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