Newsletter of Blind Sports Australia - April 2014
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WINNER - Best Sports Comedy Podcast @ 'Sports Podcast Awards'. Relax, tune-in and enjoy the only podcast in the world where celebrities properly unwind and cut loose. Come listen to some of the biggest names in sport, media & film discuss their lives with; The CEO of Clapham aka Mr Archie Curzon and Host Freddy Clode. Be prepared for a tornado of laughs and the great unexpected as Archie dishes out life advice to all those looking for success in the city, in the gym and in the sheets. Number ...
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Humanity's Thundering Brainstorms Turned Blundering Brain Farts They are priceless, multifaceted jewels of misjudgment. Masterworks of the moronic. Steroid-juiced stupidity wearing a size 9XX dunce cap embroidered with one simple word: “Duh.” They are the colossally, cringingly, often laughably bad notions that have leapt from the short-circuiting synapses of some of the world’s brightest (and dimmest) brains, now faithfully retold here as "100 of the Worst Ideas in History, The Podcast." Ba ...
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Fail to the Chief: 6 of the Worst Ideas in Presidential History
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More of the Best of the Worst Whiskey rings, hanging chads, criminal contra-dictions, depressing obsessions, heaping helpings of guns and butter -- American Presidents and their staffs have cooked up then served up an onerous, odorous batch of stinkin' thinkin' over the last 200-plus years. These six examples spotlight how the ideas of yesterday—fr…
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Presiding over five Boston Red Sox World Series titles in fifteen years, the team's ownership confidently believes their roster is doubtlessly strong enough to withstand the departure of star pitcher Babe Ruth, a.k.a. “The Bambino.” So they conjure up the idea, in 1920, to sell Ruth to the then-lowly New York Yankees. What happens next is an histor…
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A swarm of sweet-toothed beetles is chomping away at Australia’s sugar cane crop. So, by cracky, local farmers come up with the perfect solution: Introduce 102 toads from Hawaii to scarf up the bothersome beetle population. Problem solved, eh mates? Not quite. Our Outback sugar farmers thus begin one of the worst ecological calamities in Australian…
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An erstwhile sprinkler repairman, Bernard L. Madoff is the embodiment of the American dream, parlaying a paltry $5,000 initial investment in his own securities firm in 1960 into a nearly $1 billion dollar personal fortune by 2008. Shockingly, his American dream becomes a nightmare for thousands of investors who trust his sage advice and reputation …
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It’s his wedding night. And in a blissful, celebratory moment, Robert Kearns pops a champagne cork—right into his left eye, leaving him partially blind. Fast-forward ten years. Driving home in a rainstorm, the sight-impaired automotive engineer and part-time inventor squints through his car’s rapidly oscillating windshield wiper. Even with one bad …
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S9 Ep185: LIV Golf Special with Open Champion Louis Oosthuizen & LIV Champion Dean Burmester
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We're back with a LIV golf special whereby we're today we're bringing you all the C.H.A.T with 2 of the greatest personalities and players in the sport of golf in Louis Oosthuizen & Dean Burmester. The lads reveal to us why LIV is so much more fun than the PGA, unveil all the dirt on their fellow players and what they're really like off the course,…
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Newly reelected and embarking on a national speaking tour, President William McKinley is a busy chief executive—too busy, his staff decides, to meet with a clothier who’s offered to fit the commander in chief with a snazzy piece of outerwear. Instead, the meeting is rescheduled until after McKinley returns from a brief trip to the Pan American Expo…
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"Guiltless Snacking" Becomes the Butt of a Fat Joke
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Since the dawn of our republic, Americans have been wrestling with a great existential question: “How can I shove limitless fistfuls of fatty snack foods into my bloated face without making my arteries harder than last week’s linguine?” Finally, in 1968, Proctor & Gamble discovers the answer: Olestra. Thanks to this new chemically-contrived fat sub…
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You know the movie, you know the scene: Young Elliot lures E.T., the extraterrestrial, out of hiding with a trail of yummy candies. "E.T." screenwriter Melissa Mathison believed that only one kind of candy could pique the sweet tooth of a cute, cuddly intergalactic visitor to our planet -- the most popular candy on Earth --M&M’s. But when presented…
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Ensconced in the back seat of his open-roofed Double Phaeton limousine, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the throne of the Austro-Hungarian empire, warily motorcades from a town hall meeting through the streets of Sarajevo, Bosnia. And with good reason. Just hours earlier, the archduke narrowly escapes a bomb-thrower’s assassination attempt that s…
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S9 Ep184: Schalk Burger - The Shocking Untold Story Of How He Just Escaped Death - Getting Shot At By The SA Army & Why The Boks Will Beat Ireland 2-0!
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Today we're joined by a hero amongst men, World Cup winner and Ex IRB Player of The Year Schalk Burger to hear all the greatest stories from his illustrious career and also preview the most anticipated Test Series in over a decade when the Boks take on Ireland. From his ruthless schoolboy cricket initiation, to getting shot at by the South African …
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New Coke's Product Launch Goes From Fizzy to Flat
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In the bubbly affluence of post–World War II America, Coke is the cola preferred by 60 percent of the market. Yet by 1983, pesky rival Pepsi has begun to outsell Coke among coveted youth demographics. Despite a generations-long reign as the world’s top-selling soft drink, “The Real Thing” -- a bastion of coolheaded product stability-- makes an unch…
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S9 Ep183: Ryan Sidebottom - Swanny Having Phone Sex With His Wife - Strippers With Corrupt Billionaire Allen Stanford & Becoming Best Mates With Robbie Williams!
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As the rugby season comes to a close, we turn our attention to the Cricket World Cup and in doing so we're joined by an England legend and World Cup winner in Ryan Sidebottom. Ryan has some incredible stories to share with us from his 20 year professional career including; the night Graeme Swann had phone sex with his wife, becoming best mates with…
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Uber music producer Farian is looking for the “next big thing” in music. Scouring the ’80s Berlin club scene, he happens upon models Fabrice Morvan and Rob Pilatus tearing up the dance floor. To most, they’re no more than hunky, prancing boy toys. But to Farian, they’re ideal front men for a new band. One problem: Neither Rob nor Fab can sing. To c…
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S9 Ep182: Mark Durden-Smith - Bullying Prince Harry - Getting Harassed By Gwyneth Paltrow's Security & Partying With Katie Price!
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Today we're joined by broadcasting royalty in the wonderful Mark Durden-Smith to discuss his incredible 30+ year career working on TV with some of the biggest celebrities in the world. From getting bustled out of an interview by Gwyneth Paltrow's security guard, to making front page headlines by abusing Prince Harry, partying with Katie Price, gett…
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Nearly a half century after George Washington dons a three-cornered hat, courageously crosses the Delaware River, and defeats the British Army redcoats, President John Quincy Adams strips down to his birthday suit, swims naked in the Potomac River, and leaves America red faced. Giving “crack of dawn” a whole new meaning, each morning, Adams sneaks …
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S9 Ep181: Adam Hollioake - Surviving An Al Qaeda Bombing - Flintoff's Loosest Ever Night Out & Losing £21 Million Over Night!
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Today we're joined by Ex England & Surrey Captain Adam Hollioake to discuss his incredible sporting career which took him from the heights of cricket to then become an undefeated MMA fighter & Boxer back in Australia. We discuss his greatest stories from; illegally partying with Freddie Flintoff to what it was like getting personally abused by the …
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Just your typical day at the ballpark: First you see a pitcher smoke a fastball down the middle of the plate. Then you watch a speedy runner burn up the base paths. Finally, you see center field explode in a fireball! Okay, so it’s not exactly your average trip to the old ball game. But that’s the whole, record-breaking idea behind “Disco Demolitio…
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S9 Ep180: Alex Cuthbert - Infernos With Margot Robbie - Exeters Secret Initiation Finally Revealed & The Real Reason He Was Dropped From The Lions!
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Today we're joined by Welsh and Lions legend Alex Cuthbert to discuss his incredible 14 year career in the game and celebrate his best stories from on and off the pitch! Alex reveals the brutality of Gatland's World Cup training camp last year which led to his injury, the messiest pre-season trip he's ever been onto with Wales in Istanbul, the day …
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S9 Ep179: Alfie Barbeary - Chucked Out Of Bath's Christmas Party - Shitting Himself Having Physio & Getting Verbally Abused By Eddie Jones!
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The loosest man in professional rugby and huge fan of the podcast is joining us today to celebrate his incredible career so far & shower us in some of the most outrageous and entertaining stories we've ever been graced with. From being abused multiple times by Eddie Jones in England camps, to having Bath Head Coach Johan Van Graan in a headlock at …
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S9 Ep178: John Smit - Drunkenly Knocking Jean De Villiers Out Cold - Having His Penis Exposed On National TV & Why The Lions Refused To Have Beers With The Boks In 2009!
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Today we bring you a heroic figure in South African rugby, the legendary captain of the 2007 World Cup winning team and all round rugby superstar John Smit. John takes us through his incredible career in rugby from the highs of uniting South Africa through the World Cup to the lows of the dirtiest intiations he was forced to do and having his manho…
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S9 Ep177: Tom Shanklin - Russian Poolette - Wales Teams Trip To Australia's Red Light District & David Flatman's Wanking Scandal!
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We're back for series 2 and we're kicking it off with Wales and Lions legend Tom Shanklin and I must warn you, albeit we're 174 Eps in, I don't know if we've ever had a funnier guest with better stories than this one! Tom takes us through his incredible career from; Clive Woodward begging him to come and play for England, to him doing the greatest …
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S9 Ep176: EXCLUSIVE - Nickelback - Becoming The 'Most Hated Band In The World', Getting Bottled Off Stage In Portugal & Naked Jiu-Jitsu!
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We're honoured to be joined in person by Billboards “most successful rock band of the decade” - Nickelback all the way over from Canada via Los Angeles. The band have written some of the greatest rock songs in history including 'Rockstar' & 'How You Remind Me' and have sold over 50 million records worldwide. However, their vast success in the mid-2…
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S9 Ep175: Ben Youngs - Eddie Jones's Craziest Stories - Leicester's Brutal Initiations & The Best Fly Half He Ever Played With!
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We're truly honoured to be joined by England's most capped player of all time and one of the greatest scrum-halfs in the history of the game Ben Youngs, to discuss his incredible career on and off the pitch. Now that Youngsy is retired from England he's an open book as he shares with us the loosest and most hilarious stories from his career; from E…
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S9 Ep174: Steff Armitage - England Players Banned My Return To The Team - Why I F***ing Hate Martin Johnson & Forcing My Billionaire Owners Wife To Party All Night Long!
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We're honoured to be joined by Ex European Player of The Year, Ex England International and triple European champion Steff Armitage to hear about his incredible career, which saw him win more personal and team honours than anyone else in the country but only manage 5 England caps. Steff reveals all the secrets as he tells us that; England teammates…
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S9 Ep173: Lawrence Dallaglio - England Haven't Got A Coaching Decision Right Since 2003 - Why Josh Lewsey Knocked Danny Cipriani Out & Being Sought Out By Monks At School!
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We're honoured for our 170th Episode to be joined by one of the greatest names in the history books of rugby in Lorenzo Bruno Nero Dallaglio, World Cup winner, 7s World Cup winner, World Rugby hall of famer, multi-grandslam winner & British & Irish Lion. Lawrence is in wonderful form as he opens up about his incredible life both on and off the fiel…
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S9 Ep172: Josh Matavesi - Getting Eaten Alive By Fijian Bed Bugs, The Magic Dummy & The Craziest Initiation Of All Time!
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Today we're joined by a Fijian legend in Josh Matavesi to take us through his incredible career, which saw him represent top teams in; England, Wales and France and of course playing nearly 50 times for Fiji. Josh is still playing semi-pro rugby in Cornwall and we open up by hearing about the craziest initiations we've ever heard in nearly 170 Epis…
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S9 Ep171: Chris Morris - Strip Clubs At The World Cup - Delhi Belly In The IPL Final & Abusing David Warner!
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We're honoured today to be joined by one of the most expensive players in IPL history, the wonderful Chris Morris, who made over $6 Million at the IPL and also represented South Africa in all 3 formats nearly 100 times. Now he's retired, he's in the mood to have fun and shares with us some of the greatest never told before stories from; Sandpaperga…
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S9 Ep170: Charlotte Caslick - Risqué 'Facetime Fridays' - The Art of 'Thirst Traps' & Running Into Trouble With The Police!
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We're delighted today to be joined by the greatest women's rugby player of all time in Charlotte Caslick, but more impressive than her on field antics are her crazy stories from off it! Charlotte has managed to amass a huge social following from her incredible personality and her love of life, which often leads her to get into the police, authoriti…
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S9 Ep169: Stuart McCloskey - Ireland’s 'Secret' World Cup Party In Paris- O'Mahony's Bum Funnels & Wrestling Bundee Aki!
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Today we're delighted to be joined by Irish centre Stuart McCloskey, fresh from his teams epic victory in the south of France. We discuss his countries secret 2 day party in Paris after the world cup, how he fell in love with Archie, find out what captain Peter O'Mahony's like on the bum funnels, why Stephen Ferris' is a bit creepy in his 'old age'…
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S9 Ep168: Will Greenwood - Debagging Alastair Campbell, Insulting The Queen & The Terrifying Day He Nearly Died!
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We're back for the Six Nations and who better to start the series off with than the legendary, World Cup winner; Will Greenwood. Will is on incredible form as he shares with us some hilarious stories from; the day Alistair Campbell got de-bagged in front of the world's media in NZ, when one of his teammates nearly committed treason by insulting the…
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S9 Ep167: IMPORTANT - A Very Special Announcement - Please Listen!
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We're going on our UK tour next month - please come along and see us live in; London - 14th Feb - Jason Fox Leeds - 15th Feb - TBA Oxford - 20th Feb - Tom Varndell Bristol - 21st Feb - Dave Flatman Get Your Tickets Here - https://www.eventbrite.com/cc/rig-biz-uk-tour-february-2930289By Blind Dog Productions
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S9 Ep166: Ollie Lawrence - Hilarious Boxing Day Special With England Superstar!
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We've managed to wrestle England superstar Ollie Lawrence away from his family on Boxing Day to come and entertain the masses on the award winning Rig Biz Pod! He reveals to us how our podcast powered the boys to victory in France, why he wants to play 13 for England, how Alfie Barbeary embarrassed himself at the Christmas party, what it's like par…
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S9 Ep165: Elliott Stooke - Misbehaving With Marland Yarde - Knocked Out By Cooper Vuna & Abused By Eddie Jones!
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For our last episode of the year we're delighted to be joined by a legend on the game in Elliott Stooke, a man who's graced; Bath, Wasps, Bristol, Gloucester, Montpellier and England. He takes us through some ridiculous and hilarious stories including; Alfie Barbeary beating up the Bath Head Coach whilst drunk at the Christmas Party, drunken nights…
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S9 Ep164: Dan Leavy - Lost Money Clips, Purple Nips & Vegas With Cips
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46:26
We're delighted that Ex-Irish Grand Slam champion and Leinster legend Dan Leavy has taken some time away from his busy 'Silly Season' schedule to join us on the podcast today. Dan was forced to retire at the age of 27 after suffering a horrific knee injury and nowadays runs a very successful Whiskey company. Today he opens up about the crazy highs …
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S9 Ep163: Mel Deane -Trainer To The Stars On; Nick Frost's Danger Wank & Jamie Dornan's Broken Nose at Infernos!
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50:32
We're delighted to be joined by an Ex Harlequins & Sale legend in Mel Deane, who is nowadays better known as a trainer to the stars in the likes of; Rio Ferdinand, Niall Horan, Jamie Dornan, Tom Hardy, Nick Frost and more... In this episode he reveals all of his greatest stories from ten years playing alongside some of the biggest names in rugby fr…
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S9 Ep162: Laura Smyth - Sugar Daddies, Aggressive Hecklers & Archie’s Hatred For East London!
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What a joy it is today to be joined by officially the funniest female comedian in the country in the wonderful, joyous and hilarious Laura Smyth. She takes us through her incredible life story which has taken her from being an English teacher at an inner city girls school to becoming the hottest prospect in comedy. From the classroom to a sold out …
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S9 Ep161: Jamie Bamber - Charming Tom Hanks - Getting Bollocked By Wahlberg & Sexually Harassed By A Brazilian Fan!
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49:30
We're honoured to be joined by multi-award winning TV and Film star Jamie Bamber to hear about his incredible career on the big screen - from Band of Brothers to Battlestar Gallactica he's done it all. He also happens to be a resident of Stockwell so we hear about his thoughts on; Clapham, Chariots Spa in Vauxhall, Kiss Chase, getting weird sexual …
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S9 Ep160: Schalk Brits - Drugging His 2019 SA Teammates - Why Giteau Pissed In A Bin In Chinawhite's & Boarding School Blow Jobs
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Today we're joined by one of our greatest ever guests in 2019 Springbok World Champion and Saracens legend Schalk Brits, whereby he reveals his greatest stories from 20 years as a professional. From brutal initiations at school, to getting barred from one of London's most famous nightclubs due to Matt Giteau's antics, to a 4 day orgy in Barcelona w…
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S9 Ep159: Hugo Chegwin aka DJ Beats - Getting Chucked Out Of A Sex Show In Bangkok - Shooting Post Malone's Weapons & Will 'People Just Do Nothing' Return?
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We're honoured to be joined by multi BAFTA & Novello award winning actor, writer, musician, MC, DJ Hugo Chegwin aka DJ Beats from the incredible show 'People Just Do Nothing'. He's on wonderful form as he regales us with stories of; how the lads were all bought together via their mutual love of smoking weed, how the show went from being mini youtub…
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S9 Ep158: Joe Van Niekerk - Dating Lingerie Models - A Crazy 3 Day Ayahuasca Trip & The Dirtiest Initiation Ever
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44:00
We're honoured to be joined by a Springbok legend in Joe Van Niekerk to celebrate South Africa's incredible World Cup victory, but more importantly to hear his incredible life story, which took him from being SA Player of The Year, to winning 4 European Titles and being inducted into Toulon's Hall of Fame, to retiring and setting up his own psyched…
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S9 Ep157: Justin Marshall - All Blacks Legend Previews World Cup Final & Reveals Some Incredibly Loose Stories From His Career (Including Having His Penis Measured By Mehrts)!
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48:24
As the World Cup boils up to it's natural crescendo, we're delighted to be joined by All Blacks legend and Ex-Captain Justin Marshall to preview the World Cup final and immerse ourselves in his incredibly loose and entertaining tales. From messy nights out with Gavin Henson in Cardiff to medieval initiation ceremonies in Canterbury to Andrew Mehrte…
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S9 Ep156: Archie's CRAZY One Night Stand - Partying With Haskell & A Kidnapped Fijian
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For the first time in our history we join you live (poolside) from a lovely 5 star hotel that we were meant to be meeting our guest Niko Matawlau in, sadly; he's been kidnapped, Archie's fallen in love with a wrongun, Haskell can't stop partying, England are somehow into the semi-finals, Ryan Wilson's stopped breathing next to us and the worlds fal…
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S9 Ep155: Andrew Mehrtens - Camel Toes, Poker With Clint Eastwood & Why Jonah Lomu Was The Smelliest Room Mate In Rugby!
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42:18
Today we're joined by a an absolute legend both on and off the pitch, a man who is the second highest scorer for the All Blacks in rugby history and has some of the most hilarious stories we've ever heard. From rooming with 'insomniac' Jonah Lomu with his weird eating and viewing habits, to abusing South African fans in the stadium, to shitting him…
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S9 Ep154: Martin 'Chariots' Offiah - Rugby Leagues Highest Ever Scorer Discusses; Boarding School, Scraps With Shaun Edwards & Andy Farrell's 'Sauna' Sessions!
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49:56
We're truly honoured to be joined by a man so respected that he has his own statue outside Wembley Stadium, the one, the only - Martin Offiah. Martin is the highest scoring rugby league player of all time with an incredible 501 tries to his name, but he started out playing union for England 7s and finished his career playing under Warren Gatland fo…
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S9 Ep153: EXCLUSIVE - Stuart Hogg - Hoggy Reveals Everything About Life On & Off The Pitch!
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We're truly honoured to be joined by Scotland's highest try scorer, a 3 times British & Irish Lion and a man who is as much fun on the pitch as he is off it. In his first long format interview since he retired, Hoggy sits down with us and shares countless incredibly hilarious and loose stories from throughout his career, from breaking his nose on h…
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S9 Ep152: Mathieu Bastareaud - Getting Pissed With The Police - Creating An International Scandal In NZ & 'Cooking' A Colleague In Sunflower Oil!
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It's finally here - after 150 Episodes we've managed to get on one of our greatest ever guests in the man, myth and legend - Mathieu Bastareaud! He does not hold back on any controversial tales, opening up on an epic career which saw him become a triple european champion and a global sporting icon, but mixed in with a fair bit of controversy. For b…
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S9 Ep151: Stephen 'Beaver' Donald - World Cup Special - How Kicking The Winning Points In The WC Final Changed His Life!
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We're honoured to be joined by a legend of the game in Stephen Donaldson, a man who famously kicked the winning points in the 2011 World Cup Final, having been called up to the squad a few days prior. Beaver had been dropped by the All Blacks for the World Cup and so decided to go on a 3 months long piss up and fishing trip across NZ, where he put …
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S9 Ep150: SAMURAI Special - Episode 3 - Oh My Lash!
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10:51
It's the 3rd and final day of the lads SAMURAI World Cup trip to France and Archie is barely alive! ---------------------- BUY SAMURAI CLAPHAM FALCONS STASH NOW! We're delighted to be partnering with SAMURAI on this series and you can now buy our limited edition Clapham Falcons Stash for this upcoming rugby season here - Join The Team Now! https://…
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S9 Ep149: SAMURAI Special - Episode 2- IT'S COMING HOME!
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Forget the last 3 years, we're incredible at Rugby and we're going to win The World Cup + a loose night in Marseille. ----------------- BUY SAMURAI CLAPHAM FALCONS STASH NOW! We're delighted to be partnering with SAMURAI on this series and you can now buy our limited edition Clapham Falcons Stash for this upcoming rugby season here - Join The Team …
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