Welcome to Slop Quest! A show so ridiculous it'll feel like your brain got kicked in the nutz. Hosted by Ryan O'Neill and Andrew DeWitt.
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Boner City USA was a comedy podcast hosted by comedians Andrew Dewitt, Dan Bialek, Jeff Danis and Ryan O'Neill where they share embarrassing stories and discuss the day's pressing issues in the smartest dumbest way possible. This podcast was sponsored and produced by Dorksplosion.com
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Slop Quest 42: Secret Service Outhouse
1:06:03
1:06:03
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with the Secret Service taking a dump in Ryan’s apartment. Then he freaks out about having to help a president or vice president take a dump outside as a secret service agent. The O’Neill rewatches the Police Academy kids’ cartoon and they talk about other rated R movie properties that got tur…
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Slop Quest 41: Looking for Mr. Bang Bus
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest We open with a sleep deprived DeWitt and O’Neill insists he’s on cocaine. We go on an audio tour of Big Earl’s neighborhood. Then we write an amazing love story starring O’Neill and a homeless lady. Then the boys find out that their movies are being titty censored by advertiser friendly big tech. Andy…
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FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy has ground breaking information on Confucius that makes Ryan very angry. Then Andrew Tate’s manhood disappears. Ryan talks about how whiskey has hurt the manhood of many different societies. Then Andrew misremembers the Quizno’s Sponge Monkeys. This spurs a new ad campaign for Saab. Then Andy makes up…
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill starts the episode with new Southern church phrases, then brags about how much micro plastics are in his nuts. Then Andy introduces O’Neill to the hilarious philosophy behind “The Married Red Pill”. O’Neill roasts the entire thing the way only O’Neill can. This inspires new business plans the …
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys open strong with a DC Comics pitch about Batman’s butler, Alfred, pissing his pants constantly and trying to cover it up. Then Andy remembers all of NOFX’s lyrics all at once after he forgot about the band. Then Andy and Ryan come up with The Bad Boy Business Brothers who make online business…
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Slop Quest 37: Big Earl Skakel Returns!
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Big Earl Skakel is back in the studio and there’s nothing but classic Earl talk. In other words, obscure name drops from the late 70’s, obscure name drops from the 80’s, body building talk, BBW horn doggin’, political talk, and his plans for his new special! It’s an amazing, classic Big Earl SLOPISODE…
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Slop Quest 36: Fortune Cookie Fortune
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1:00:11
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Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest Andy gets some amazing encouragement about Dolores (don’t worry, people who hate it, he doesn’t read it or try to write any more on air). Then the boys come up with an amazing “all you can eat erotic Chinese buffet for bachelorettes only featuring themed funny foods”. The…
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Slop Quest 35: Kick Me in the Dolores
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1:01:12
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy writes the entire first chapter of Dolores and it causes him to have a real psychic connection to Aaron. One of Andy’s friends tricks him into saying hi to a fake Stephen King. Then they talk about old times out door “dogging’. Then they talk walking sticks. Then Andrew tells the tragic story of …
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest The boys try to stay clean for the algorithmic gods for the first 10 minutes and fail miserably. Then Andy an amazing water park idea. Ryan and Andy argue about the appeal of the old hawk tuah. They research the invention of the fictional “robot voice” then they deep dive on one of the craziest topics…
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Slop Quest 33: You Had Me At “Throw Me Through The Door”
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54:56
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy finds his erotic tastes have become more refined in a way that surprises everyone. Then O’Neill has some existential questions for Andy. Then the boys reminisce about 1980’s Florida. Then they create a XXX comedy trio called The Three Boobs that uses Three Stooges style antics on a porno set. The…
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Slop Quest 32: Jerry Rocha Kicks Cancer in The Nutz
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On today’s episode we have one of the boys’ best buds of all time, Jerry Rocha's finally on. He details his harrowing battle with stage four cancer that was diagnosed as terminal. This is a brutal, terrifying and tear jerking account that's non stop laughs.…
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Slop Quest 31: Crucified by Chocolate
1:05:29
1:05:29
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andrew has another dream about Killer Kops. Ryan buys vintage toys. Andy’s dad sings him awake as a child . Then the boys discuss the saddest way to go fishing. Then they revisit the logistics of the “dildo in the hotdog bun” routine. Then there’s a lion that only goes pee peat night time. Then there’…
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Full Ep HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquestBy All Things Comedy
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest O’Neill finds out that Japan has a racoon problem and perhaps art imitates life. Then Andy phones O’Neill with a killer idea for the opening scene of Killer Kops. Then Andy tells O’Neill about the secret government Cheese Caves and O’Neill is dubious about it. Then they talk about Crystal Pepsi and co…
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FULL EP HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Mike Black is in the studio again and it’s a fire episode! O’Neill uses his feet to flush toilets. Mike finds a self cleaning toilet in Chicago. Andy pitches a train car hobo podcast and talks about the death of Airwolf. Then Mike makes Andrew talk about Fat Gambit. The boys come up with a tiny penise…
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FULL EP: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ready for your slop? A man demands his wife have another baby so he can keep breastfeeding himself. O’Neill learns about RFK’s brain worm and loses his marbles at the state of politics in America. Then Andrew finds an article on fathers taking too long taking a dump and Ryan goes nuclear.…
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Ryan’s leashes new Boeing news on Andy then he heckles ICP at a comedy show. The Rock doesn’t show up for work and pisses in empty water bottle. Andy gets heckled while taking a dump again. Then the boys role play as stolen valor four star generals at the mall. Then Alex Jones is President and ha…
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy accidentally drinks a bunch of children’s Benadryl and worries about blacking out on the show. Ryan has a 100 day cough. Scientists are breeding cows that fart less. Ryan reveals a plan that has China eating beans to speed up global warming. Andy solves O’Neill’s jealousy problem with the Ho…
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest On this episode of Slop Quest (what a name!) we talk about a scary religious dream Andy has about O’Neill. Andy gets tricked by fake news again. Aaron’s mom is embroiled in some serious celebrity worship. Speaking of religion, Reddit gets mad at a religious post we made and leaves even more detai…
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/slopquest Andy hears some of the ads YouTube inserts into the middle of our free video and the timing is incredible. O’Neill and Aaron bond over the piss drinking monkey idea again which upsets Andy. A drone spies on O’Neill while HE pees. A museum guard hangs up his own painting and gets fired prompting a…
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O’Neill is back from the road with stories about drinking 184 beers , destroying toilets and being kicked out of museums. Andrew finds out a shocking revelation about his local robotic Whole Foods. Ryan burns off his eyebrows doing a fire walk and Andy explains to him how wires are not fake. Then Aaron and Ryan team up against Andy in their support…
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https://www.factor75.com/ USE CODE: Beachcops50 and get 50% off. Mike Black joins the dudes for a wild ride. They debate everything from dildo length, bigfoot, gay strip clubs, 80's movies, The Duke Boys vs. Magnum P.I. and so much more. We also may have finally solved the mystery of Aaron's 5 AM porkers. It's an explosive episode with far-reaching…
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I hope you're ready to learn about male lactation cause that's our opener. Even Nate Diaz stops by to discuss it with us. Then we hop right into some Tony Robbins talk. After that, it's more corporate murders. Then Andrew talks about one of the stupidest people that ever lived. After that, Andy's neighbor tries to bang him or does she? You be the j…
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This week we're back in the old O'Neill family studio. We open with some DeWitt physical therapy talk and he reveals a shocking revelation. Then we discuss Boeing's new assassination program. After that, it's Goggins' time. Then a shower kills a man. After that, we find out about a shoplifting ring bust right in our own backyard. Then it's time to …
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FULL EP@https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy has spinal poverty and needs to go to physical therapy. Aaron comes back from The Big Easy with some wild stories. O’Neill scares Aaron and Andy about jury duty. Andy repitches Mommy Milkers for serious feedback and Aaron thinks it’s actually pretty good. Ryan makes fun of Andy for needing to watch the…
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The Pork Report 17: Black Hole Safari
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https://www.factor75.com/ CODE: BEACHCOPS50 GET 50% OFF On this episode of The Pork Report, Andy’s aunt accidentally posts an AI picture of a vagina in space on her Facebook page believing it to be a telescope photo of a black hole, his porno friend tries to drive him to Mexico to get wiener stem cells and Aaron’s neighbor starts an indoor dog gymn…
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On today’s episode of the pork report, Ryan and Andrew discuss New breaking news about P. Diddy. Then they find out that a lot of boomer musicians were real creepers . Andy finds a Scottish AI Wonka themed immersive experience that is truly dog Dookie. Finally Aaron has a softball update that will hit you right in the chest.…
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O’Neill talks medical strikes in South Korea, Andrew gets advice on how to fix his back finally. Then they talk about the Civil War and O’Neill draws a hard line in the sand. We help Peppertooth with more magical incantations for his Dungeons and Dragons campaign and O’Neill invents several drug based businesses and they use a cellphone stenographe…
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The Pork Report 14: You'll Drink Your Teeth, No Sticky, No Crunchy
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Head to https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=BEACHCOPS50&mealsize=8-1&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads&discount_comm_id=7267f20b-a39f-4440-9ca2-1404329a2b419&dis_channel=audio and get 50% off with code BEACHCOPS50. FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy …
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio with some more slop! Andy has a lot of female friends who think they can sell feet pics, Ryan pulls a gun on Ranaziz, and Andy remembers the most insane swashbuckling movie of all time, Zorro The Gay Blade. O‘Neill‘s mom gets scammed and makes $20 bucks. …
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The Pork Report 12: Duke of Earl w/Big Earl Skakel
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Big Earl Skakel is finally back and it’s a wiiiiiiiiild ride. O’Neill talks about his documentary project with What Up Pete and Earl himself. Then we talk Vince McMahon doodie accusations, dramatic readings of sleazeball texts and for some reason Earl re-enacts funny scenes from the 1970’s sitcom…
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FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Sooey! It’s the Pork Report and it’s time for your slop! Ryan tests everyone for psychopathy using this one weird trick. Then they talk AI girlfriends, a company that pays for doodies, and OF bikini farm work by O’Neill. Andy talks about the South Carolina Lizard Man and his grandma scaring him wi…
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The Pork Report 10: Seafood Tower Anxiety
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of the Pork Report we have more of the sloppiest news you can use! 10 foot aliens, Oprah has a body double, and we start multiple amazing screenplay ideas. O’Neill races to finish a seafood tower in a mere hour and half. Then he plans a seafood based crowd work only comedy special…
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FULL EPISODES @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The dudes are back and it's guns a blazing! First they talk about fluoride french fries. Then it's airplane disasters. After that they jump into tick bites that result in a pickle of predicament. Then it's softball talk, Tony Hawk and Jesse Ventura joins the show. Come one, come all, it's The Pork Re…
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SPECIAL FREE EPISODE! MORE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We're back in the old studio while Aaron and ATC close for the holidays. And honestly, it's great to be back! We quickly stumble into chimpanzee nut smugglers. Then we visit the worst person on YouTube. After that, it's a deep dive into the history of truck nuts. Then we reach our m…
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FULL EPISODE HERE: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops In this episode of the ground breaking journalistic power house of The Pork Report, the boys discuss disposable corn meal beds for hotels and the ensuing rat problem that surely to follow. Then it's super pigs from Canada and the American weaponry that might save us. O’Neill reveals the most dang…
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FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops DeWitt and O’Neill are back in the studio and breaking incredible news. First up, O’Neill talks about a new scourge facing humanity, dolphins with thumbs. We talk about the forgotten Christmas movie, Invasion USA, men who don’t buy toilet paper for their girlfriends then Ryan creates another toile…
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The Pork Report 5: Cambodia, The Feeling's Forever
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FULL EPISODE HERE:https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The Pork Report is hitting its stride! O’Neill is back from Cambodia where he was all the children’s lucky charm. He also has unbelievable food deals and peanuts that make you take a dump in your pants. DeWitt springs a new theme song on O’Neill as well as a creamy new Christmas video. Then Ryan t…
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Listen to the full episode @https://www.patreon.com/beachcopsBy All Things Comedy
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The Pork Report Ep 3: Dude, We Ate Like Kings
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GREEN CHEF get $250 off with code beachcops250 at https://www.greenchef.com/ FULL EPISODE @https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On This Pork Report style episode of Beach Cops, Ryan tells Andrew about the joys of life on the road. A heroin junkie invades Great Wolf Lodge and leaves syringes everywhere. The boys discuss billionaire brontosaurus secrets…
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Beach Cops Episode 221: The Friendly Ghost Conundrum
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57:41
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops A homeless dude helps "decorate" a giant skeleton in a fancy neighborhood. O’Neill has a ghostly proposition for Andy, but it quickly devolves into a Black Mirror situation. Andy finds a risque Irish woman on Instagram. Ryan has a…
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Someone leaves season’s greetings in the toilet at ATC for O’Neill. Then, Danish finds a Diet Coke in the other bathroom, causing them to imagine a situation where a billionaire grants wishes to whoever drinks the toilet soda. Rya…
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Beach Cops Episode 219: Handsome Little Boy Rum
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang talks Book Fair books, school stores, and Little Caesar’s Pan-Pan. Also, Andrew recounts a story of being jumped in elementary school and using his fat to his advantage. O’Neill intelligently breaks down …
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Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use code 60beachcops to get 60% off plus free shipping. GreenChef: “The #1 Meal Kit for Eating Well” To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Aaron has an insane divorce story from his neighborhood. We offer him a series of Crunchwrap …
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Beach Cops Episode 217: Pork Report Edition
1:08:32
1:08:32
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Another fantastic, classy, dignified episode of the Pork Report with Ryan and Andrew. Andy buys a soundboard for a dollar and immediately gets decision fatigue. Andrew and Ryan try to create a game show called “Read O’Neill’s Mind…
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Beach Cops Episode 216: Pork Chops the Movie
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56:14
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Ryan talks about politicians working way past the retirement point, and Aaron recounts amazing movies. Then, O’Neill and DeWitt create an action movie called Pork Chops about karate police partners who fight children.…
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Beach Cops Episode 215: Porta-Potty
1:01:41
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The gang discusses a brand new business idea, where Andy dresses as a pig and lays in a trough, while O’Neill acts as a barker for people who are tired of waiting in lines for the porta-potties at music festivals. Then, a firefigh…
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Beach Cops Episode 214: The Extra Classy Pork Report Edition
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Jeff is out of town, so to keep it together, DeWitt and O’Neill decide to ditch the cargo shorts and dress up like two true gentlemen. O’Neill asks Andy to plunder-wash his laundry for $1.75. Aaron gets “kind of“ horny. Andy’s fri…
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Beach Cops Episode 213: They're on the East Coast
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59:25
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Go to GreenChef.com/60beachcops and use the code 60beachcops to get 60% off and free shipping. Green Chef: "The #1 meal kit for eating well"! To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andrew needs to be hypnotized to fall asleep and also can’t keep in touch with his relat…
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To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Listeners come together to write O’Neill an open letter one line at a time to get him to stop his bad boy zone behavior. The letter predictably goes off the rails. After that, the gang explains an idea DeWitt and O'Neill once had …
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