Best Brandi and Danni Lin Podcasts (2024)

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Ep 39: Bernini's Fall From Grace (For Like Three Weeks) 50:25

4+ y ago50:25

50:25

Here he is! Ring the bells! Sound the trumpets! Brandi's favorite artist is here and it is Bernini. Our beautiful baroque boy is the cream of the crop, queen of rome, and master of marble. And you make think this perfect sculptor never struggled in his whole career well YOU WOULD BE WRONG. Our sweet innocent babe was cheated and besmirched by jealo…

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Art Sis Collab! Lilly Martin Spencer's Spread-Eagle Chicken 36:02

4+ y ago36:02

36:02

She stretches her hand out towards you. Will you shake it?!?! Historical AF Podcast and Art Sistory say "yes!" in this collab from the pre-Civil War stars! And Shake Hands? (1854) is the wonderfully weird painting Kyna and Natalee have brought for us to put to the test today. Join us as we go on a journey with Lilly Martin Spencer, a plethora of su…

1
Ep 38: Michelangelo Never Showered Even Once 52:34

4+ y ago52:34

52:34

The Sistine Chapel (1508) is the triumph/torture of world's most famous and crustiest artist. Michelangelo may have never painted before but there was one thing he was definitely a master of; being a lil' bitch. And by lil', I mean absolutely gigantic. Today we tackle this monster and dish all the goss on our final ninja turtle and the lord of the …

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Ep 37: Raphael, Hard Boiled Eggs, & Feminine Baguettes 47:31

4+ y ago47:31

47:31

Raphael! Master of the Renaissance! Painter of Beauty! And a sweet perfect boy who charmed all he met. All except... Michelangelo! Why did the almighty painter of twunks hate our sweet angel baby? And what did Raphael do about it? Come with us on the Dolce Vita as we dish the goss on the only heterosexual ninja turtle and reveal how the sweet can a…

1
Ep 36: We Stan a Power Top 50:27

4+ y ago50:27

50:27

*Attention! This episode has discussions of sexual assault and rape. Skip the below timecodes if needed** No one paints a head chopping like Artemisia Gentileschi. It's got all you could ever want: blood, horror, drama, and a badass woman empowered by sweet righteous fury. Artemisia is the queen of the Baroque and queen of my heart. Don't take my w…

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Ep 35: We Stan a Power Bottom 46:52

4+ y ago46:52

46:52

If there was any sculpture that could be called the gayest, it would be this. Donatello's David (1450s) is a bastion of homoerotic glory. From his booty to his tooty, he is the one twink to rule them all. Step aside haters, because this David embodies queer culture in Renaissance Florence and even Michelangelo's legendary twunk is quaking. Check ou…

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Ep 34: Horny For God 52:28

5y ago52:28

52:28

It's a wild love story filled with passion and hardships in Renaissance Florence! A painter, forced to be a friar, and his beautiful model, forced to be a nun, a romance that can never be but falling in love anyway. JK! Actually it's just one horny dude and a nun he may or may not have kidnapped. Fra Filippo Lippi is the first rascal of the Renaiss…

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Ep 33: The Medicis Got BALLS 59:32

5y ago59:32

59:32

*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore, murder, and violence. Skip the below timecodes if needed** We are in the CRADLE OF THE RENAISSANCE! Florence town. Firenze is finally here. Brandi's heart explodes. And boy oh boy does she have a story for us. Easter Sunday. The Duomo. And MURDER?!?! Oh baby, stay tuned and find out why you never ki…

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Ep 32: What Even is the Venice Biennale? 51:24

5y ago51:24

51:24

It's a spectacle. It's a popularity contest. It's a fun fair. It's a nightmare. Welcome to the 58th Venice Biennale! It's the art olympics where countries compete to be most... something. And Danni is here to sift through the garbage for you! And what has she found? Oh! More garbage! (In the form of the Biennale's Gold Lion winner, Jimmie Durham) C…

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Ep 31: A Very Good, Very Nasty Boy 48:43

5y ago48:43

48:43

Have you ever seen an artist that is all BALLS and no SH*T? That's Tintoretto, the nastiest boy in the best way. His art is quick, cheap, and bitchy. It's everything you could ever want in an artist. That is unless, you are one of his many rivals! Come with us as we tell the tale of the nastiest boy who ever was and how this little dirt child start…

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Ep 30: Danni Bullies Goya for 51 Minutes 51:02

5y ago51:02

51:02

Wow. We love Goya. From his bad paintings to his charming smile to his general lumpiness. And we aren't the only ladies who loved a little Goya in their lives. Join us as we talk about the two potential hotties who posed for his infamously sexy La Maja Vestida (1805) and La Maja Desnuda (1800). Plus some discussion of a few perverts, secret love af…

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Art Sis Collab! A Nipple Pinchin' Satan Canoodlin' Witch 37:27

5y ago37:27

37:27

Have you ever seen a painting and thought, "what"? Well, that's exactly how you should feel when face to face with the most WTF paintings in the Louvre, Gabrielle d'Estrées and One of her Sisters (1594). But fear not! Because in a landslide collaboration between two badass art podcasts, Kieve Rodeheaver of Please Touch the Art Podcast, is here to t…

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Ep 29: Velazquez is Good at Painting 47:17

5y ago47:17

47:17

It is the puzzle that stumps all art historians. The enigma painting. The truly inscrutable masterpiece. It is Las Meninas (1656) by Diego Velazquez. What is going on in this ding dang thing!? Art historians have been debating that for centuries. We might never know. But one thing we do know for sure? Velazquez is very good at painting. And this ju…

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Ep 28: This One's Gross (Danni is Sorry) 43:35

5y ago43:35

43:35

*Attention! This episode has discussions of gore and executions. Skip the below timecodes if needed** This week we got nasty! Well, mostly Danni. She became compelled to tell the frightful story of James Scott and his horrible portrait that hangs in London's National Gallery. Now London has a long and varied history of death and disgust but Danni m…

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Ep 27: PreRaphealites and Pubes 59:38

5y ago59:38

59:38

We are in Victorian England! And there's nothing the Victorians loved more than a scandal. And John Everett Millais was an expert at getting wrapped up in them. Yes, his painting, Christ in the House of his Parents (1849), was so shocking that Charles Dickens denounced it publicly. But that's child's play for Millais. The real juice comes from his …

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Art Sis Collab! Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun Proves Men are Trash 53:01

5y ago53:01

53:01

Our good friend and french art history buff, Hadley Leary, sent us on a mission to find the one, the only, Élisabeth Louise Vigée Le Brun and her painting, Peace Bringing Back Abundance (1780). This painting was Le Brun's slap to the patriarchy! Her karate chop to the systemized oppression! And her refusal to be pinned down as just one kind of pain…

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Ep 26: Picasso Stole The Mona Lisa 1:01:00

5y ago1:01:00

1:01:00

What is it about her? Her knowing gaze? Those bald brows? That subtle smile? There is something about the Mona Lisa (1503) that makes everybody go gaga! Kings were poopin' with it! Boys were throwing themselves off buildings for it! And the French police were accusing Picasso of stealing it! What is the story behind this enigmatic lady and what Da …

1
Ep 25: The Venus de Milo Looks Better That Way 38:51

5y ago38:51

38:51

We've made it to Paris and it's got the key to our heart. This town also got more art than any town has the right to have. And out of all the masterpieces upon masterpieces at the Louvre we found the greatest one of all: The Venus de Milo. Is it because of her beauty? Her grace? Her rarity? Her importance? Of course not! It's because some 100 year …

1
Ep 24: Just a Daisy Chain of Bones 48:55

5y ago48:55

48:55

Did you know that there is a church on the outskirts of Prague, decorated with hundreds of human bones?!? With all those bones, you gotta wonder, who do they belong to? And that's just what Danni is here to tell us! And the story takes us through cookin' gooses, multiple crusades, battle wagons, and a skin drum. Join us as we explore the Sedlec Oss…

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Art Sis Collab! We All Hate Černý's Hot Babies 45:03

5y ago45:03

45:03

Welcome to our first ever collab episode! Today our good friend and Prague expert, Eve Asher, sent us on a horrible adventure to see the art of the resident Czech Republic Bad Boy, David Černý. His art may be full of cheeky twists and turns but the one thing we can all be sure of is that Černý sucks! Today, we saw his Babies (1999) sculptures which…

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Ep 23: One Does Not Say No to Sarah Bernhardt 44:35

5y ago44:35

44:35

How does one man's art go from petty theater dressings to gracing every teens' phone case and tumblr background? Well, all it takes is talent, sugar daddies, luck, and call from the one and only Sarah Bernhardt. That's the exact cocktail our Czech friend, Alphonse Mucha, cooked up that launched him to stardom! And now every pretty Art Nouveau illus…

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Ep 22: Nefertiti is Hot 42:42

5y ago42:42

42:42

Have you ever seen somebody so hot you think, hey, that can't be real? That's not allowed! That should be impossible! Well, neither had we until we saw THE QUEEN!! The Bust of Nefertiti (1345) is like Angelina Jolie in Maleficent peak hotness but brown. And the real Queen Nefertiti is even better. She changed the canon, changed the religion, and ch…

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Ep 21: Harry Potter and The Severan Tondo 43:51

5y ago43:51

43:51

The Severan Tondo (200) will blow ya goddamn mind. First of all, it features the family of the Roman Emperor, Septimus Severus, a guy who won the throne after the bloody Year of the 5 Emperors. But that's not even the crazy part. His son's face is erased in one of the most widespread and famous cases of Damnatio Memoriae ever found. Annnnd, he's pr…

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Ep 20: Geertje Gonna Get Her Money 46:36

5y ago46:36

46:36

On the finale of our Russia extravaganza, Danni takes us to the most famous painting in the Hermitage, Danaë (1636)! Now she looks a little... melted.. now but that doesn't mean she doesn't contain multitudes! And she does! Like underneath that face modeled off of Rembrandt's girlfriend, is the face of his dead wife! Woof! Rembrandt you got some 's…

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Ep 19: Spilled Blood Church is Hardcore!! 50:15

5y ago50:15

50:15

The Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood is the most rock n' roll church in all of Russia. And it's not just the name, Spilled Blood has the chutzpah to back it up. She's got gingerbread aesthetic, bombs in the ceiling, Potato Jesus, and a curse on the Soviet Union! Hang on tight as Brandi attempts to describe the last 200 years of Russian history…

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Ep 18: Fabergé Eggs in your Grandma's Attic 48:31

5y ago48:31

48:31

We made it to Europe! And our first stop: Fabergé Eggs. Who made 'em? Who were they for? And why are these dumb little things so expensive?! Danni is here to tell you all about it! And it's much more involved than you might expect. Haven't you heard? There's a rumor in St. Petersburg... Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.co…

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Ep 17: St. Louis Cathedral Got Ghosts 44:04

5y ago44:04

44:04

New Orleans always got music playin', start in the daytime go all through the night. Especially abouts the witching hour when the haunting sound of a funeral hymn comes from the St. Louis Cathedral. And if you went to investigate (and why would you, New Orleans is the most haunted city in the US, ya dummy!!), you just might see the ghost of Pere Da…

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Lil' Sis 02: Why is The Blue Dog Famous? 26:03

5y ago26:03

26:03

If you've ever been to New Orleans, you may have seen this dog. Just a yellow eyed little so-and-so plastering every hotel, street corner, and restaurant! So why is he so famous? Well, Danni is here to let us know with a story of Cajun werewolves, haunted houses, and Bill Clinton. Also, this will be the last Lil' Sis on the main channel! We'll be p…

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Ep 16: Just a Giant Appropriative Penis 44:51

5y ago44:51

44:51

By this point you must know that Art Sistory loves America, the greatest country in the world. We've got all our pals to thank for that: Tommy J, Benji Frank, Lin Manuel Miranda. But no one can forget the greatest hero of all time, George Washington! Mostly because we built a giant white penis for him in the middle of our capital. But did you know …

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Ep 15: It's Jack Black 42:26

5y ago42:26

42:26

This episode is about two things: our beautiful perfect country and bad art! Yes this portrait of Paul Revere (1768) may look just like Jack Black (and it is Jack Black) but that doesn't stop Danni from calling it like it is! Which is an ugly painting. Maybe because it was painted by a good for nothing British loving stink weasel! We'll let you dec…

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Ep 14: Pssst... They're Vaginas 49:22

5y ago49:22

49:22

Have you ever wondered what 39 famous and influential women's vaginas look like? Well you're in luck!! The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is just that! Unless you want to see any women of color or trans women... The Dinner Party (1979) by Judy Chicago is not that! Ha ha ha! We're conflicted. Join us as we discuss this Last Supper for ladies. D…

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Ep 13: Madame X is Bringing Décolletage Back 46:47

5y ago46:47

46:47

Madame X is an unconventional beauty! Completely unpaintable! And hopelessly lazy! But she can do whatever she wants. Why? Well it's not just because she's wealthy. Her soul is rich. She knows it. John Singer Sargent knows it. And you know it. Mmm mmm MMM! I feel a scandal a brewin'! Don't you? Check our instagram for more details! https://www.inst…

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Ep 12: Praise Be Rosa Bonheur and her Bisexual Socialist God 43:38

5y ago43:38

43:38

Rosa Bonheur is the original feminist, lesbian, butch, farmcore, horse girl and we must all praise her. She grew up worshiping socialist jesus. She was openly married to her childhood sweetheart, Nathalie. She tricked the police into letting her wear pants. She chain smoked. She hunted. And painted horses with anime eyes. Rosa did it all in the god…

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Ep 11: Juan De Pareja Is My Boyfriend 37:25

5y ago37:25

37:25

What is in an expression? Is it pride? Sadness? Anger? Love? Why not all at once! Today we discuss our first piece at The Met, "Juan De Pareja" (1650), a captivating portrait by none other than Diego Velasquez, the paragon of the Spanish baroque. Juan may be an enigma but one thing we know is true: he's a stone cold fox, baby! Check our instagram f…

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Ep 10: The House on the Rock is Bad Disneyland 47:20

5y ago47:20

47:20

Have you ever thought you were going to a house and ended up in an endless horror maze cooked up by a mad man boy child? Well that's what happened to us when we showed up at The House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Imagine a dust maze full of forged Faberge eggs, baroque music machines, sea monsters, and haunted doll bathrooms. It may be t…

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Ep 09: Apollo, The Sexy Baby with Dead Eyes 47:11

5+ y ago47:11

47:11

The only original Praxiteles sculpture might just be in Cleveland, Ohio. Or it might be a 19th century lawn gnome. We may never know. And Cleveland certainly isn't telling us. Welcome to our newest episode of twists, turns, art dealing conspiracies, and a nightmarish 4 day old god. It's a good fun time, we swear. Check our instagram for more detail…

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Ep 08: Everyone Listen Except Anish Kapoor 44:36

5+ y ago44:36

44:36

Have you ever seen a big big mirror bean and thought, this is the center of a giant art battle between good and evil? Well it is! "Cloud Gate" (2006), otherwise known as The Bean, was created by a big angry baby who doesn't know how to share and the art world will not let that slide. Let's jump into this years long feud between artists which has cr…

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Ep 07: Mary Cassatt is Best Artist, Fight Me 41:50

5+ y ago41:50

41:50

This is it. Perhaps the best art? At the very least, it's better than Degas. "The Child's Bath" (1893) by Mary Cassatt is the art that convinced baby Danni to be an artist. Get ready for some in depth discussions about being a powerful, perfect, best, feminist, impressionist artist who puts all her whiny boy contemporaries to shame. Check our insta…

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Ep 06: All American Goths Wear Overalls 39:04

5+ y ago39:04

39:04

"American Gothic" (1930). You know this painting. You've seen this painting. It's got memes, it's got parodies, it's got everything. And it's just a boring portrait of two farmers! Right....? No way! Why would we talk about it if it was boring!? In this episode, Brandi takes us on a journey to Cedar Rapids, Iowa, and explains why this painting made…

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Ep 05: Bend It Like Beckmann 28:32

5+ y ago28:32

28:32

Max Beckmann just can't catch a break! Becoming a medic in WWI, a bunch of nazis calling his art trash, getting exiled from home, being forced to deal with the US visa system! It would drive anyone to madness. Which is why Danni is here to talk all about his "Self-Portrait" (1950) at the St. Louis Art Museum! Let's delve into Max's broken brain and…

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Ep 04: Echo and the Curse of Hot Teens 40:36

5+ y ago40:36

40:36

A big huge holy moley is it gigantic head, sitting in the middle of the Olympic Sculpture Park, and her name is "Echo" (2011). The monumental sculpture by Juame Plensa is named after a little chatty lady from Greek mythology. And Brandi just can't wait to tell you all about her entanglement with horny gods, a horrible curse, and her crush on the ho…

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Ep 03: Don't Say It Like 'Yehaw' 32:20

5+ y ago32:20

32:20

We in Seattle! And today we talk about the show, 'yəhaw̓', at the King Street Station. 200 different indigenous artists, a revolutionary curatorial process. Plus Danni just might have a crush on Michaila Taylor and her painting, "Ciuliaq" (2019). We're talkin' parkas, the right to wear red, and why we don't bump our heads on the sky anymore. Check …

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Lil' Sis 01: Cadillac Ranch Is Mud Dolphins 14:04

5+ y ago14:04

14:04

We're in Amarillo! And this is a Lil' Sis, a little baby podcast within a podcast. Today we stumble across a weird art literally jammed into the side of the freeway. And give you just a little taste of the goss. Because with a Lil' Sis, we get right to the point. Check our instagram for more details! https://www.instagram.com/artsistory/ And email …

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Ep 02: Teotihuacan's Stolen Chonks 39:37

5+ y ago39:37

39:37

Today Brandi and Danni continue their exploration at the de Young museum in San Francisco with the Harald Wagner Teotihuacan Murals (6th century). These mural chunks come from the ancient Mesoamerican city of Teotihuacan, the ding dang City of The Gods. These chunks are awesome! And definitely WEREN'T illegally hacked straight off the wall. Check o…

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Ep 01: Gaugin is a Bad Bad Nasty Bad Man 43:22

5+ y ago43:22

43:22

Join us in this first episode of Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni have traveled to the San Francisco de Young museum to see the “Tahitian Woman With a Flower” (1891), by Paul Gauguin. Gaugin may get his own special exhibition but that won't stop Danni from raking him over the coals and setting his nasty nasty legacy aflame. He's the worst bad icky ick…

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Art Sistory Trailer 0:51

5+ y ago0:51

0:51

Check out the trailer for the newest traveling art history podcast, Art Sistory! Brandi and Danni are two sisters that just happen to be dead inside. But they found a solution: art!

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Brandi And Danni Lin Podcasts

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