A WeWork with the “W” hanging off, and tubes full of stale gummy bears. Anyone wearing a walking “boot” cast is an alcoholic. ALSO: "You can pry my popcorn-lung from my cold dead hands!" Dave Grohl chewing gum on the jumbotron. PLUS: Greg says “Love child.” A song of the week from Slaughter!!! Slaughter - "Fly To The Angels": https://www.youtube.co…

"Something happened where everyone started prizing being orange" -Chris. The orange lady from "Chimp Love." ALSO: Where did Leonardo da Vinci get gas money? Greg doesn't like small paintings. PLUS: The new Advice King and a song of the week from Bell + Arc!! Bell + Arc - "She Belongs to Me": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE23DzDXjgs&list=PLajNvrn…

Talking to entrepreneurs about global warming. Youtube is my daddy. Hot insights. John Wilkes Booth killed Laci Peterson. ALSO: Blood Machine Lady and The Celtic Trump. PLUS: Killer-robot playlists, "Chimp Love" as a metaphor and a song of the week from Nick Lowe!!! Nick Lowe - "Skin Deep": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiYkjAiLai0 "The Complete …

Los Angeles vs Nashville. Bears slapping venture capitalists. Bears have “paw apps.” ALSO: Greg calls 'Harold and Maude' the first "hot topic" movie. PLUS: Go watch "The Devil at Your Heels," you lazy bums! A song of the week from Oasis!! Oasis - "Shock of the Lightning" (live, 2008): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5AN1B6FzwU Cold Brew Patreon: P…

Why does the doctor weigh you with your shoes on? ALSO: Joe Rogan, an unfunny policeman who mansplains typing. PLUS: Krishna Venta's "Fountain of the World" cult. Charles Manson's disaster capitalism, and a song of the week from Fugazi (Cassavetes, in honor of Gena Rowlands). Fugazi -"Cassavetes": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ru6J-44mk9o Cold Br…

Tapping cards, dripping fish and a our lack of gratitude. ALSO: Joy buzzers, and the banality of wealth. PLUS: Getting laid by guessing how the pyramids were built, and a song of the week from David Berman/Purple Mountains. Purple Mountains - "Drinking Margaritas at the Mall": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ecV_zZ1ruh0 Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.c…

Bird scooters on the bottom of the river: magnet fishing's meager rewards. ALSO: The new Advice King column, and a stunning article by Ognian Kassabov. PLUS: No one will ever re-animate Elon Musk, and a song of the week from Bruce Springsteen!! Bruce Springsteen - "State Trooper": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpvXfLlcHwc&list=PLNPGM2D7aODfCeI3Wt…

High parking rates kill art. ALSO: "Market forces" have been replaced by executive whims. PLUS: Venture capitalists can't appreciate music, William Friedkin and a song from Lou Barlow!!! Lou Barlow - "None of Your Goddam Bizness": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjizfB3np24 Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscrofton Channel Nonfiction: ChannelNonf…

BBILF (Bog Bodies I'd Like to F*ck) ALSO: David Axelrod VS democracy. Greg says "make love." PLUS: Leonard Cohen and the seedy '60s, and a song of the week from Wipers!!! Wipers - "Mystery": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_c8a6aySgE Marianne and Leonard: Words of Love (documentary): https://www.lecinemaclub.com/now-showing/marianne-leonard-words-…

RFK Jr and his damn birds. Chris says he's "the political Beavis." Tons of information and no power. ALSO: Leonard Leo, the Patriot Front and Grover Nordquist. Brooks Brothers is Frederick's of Hollywood for flirty fascists. PLUS: Hunter-gatherers on arabica, Can Do Cold Brew and a song of the week from The Folk Implosion!!! Folk Implosion - "Crepu…

Alternate titles: "Forgetting Love Canal" or "Capitalism is the Opposite of Enlightment." ALSO: Hot Plate: the scratch-off - If you get a pork chop, you get a ticket to the fair. PLUS: Greg's biologist friend, Chris ruminates on the human condition and a great old REM song!!!! REM - "Supernatural Superserious": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9lWm…

"Well, we've gotten to the bottom of nothing, now." - Chris ALSO: Robin Gibb gets TOO sexy. Small people with giant heads. The Bikeriders. PLUS: The Maharishi was the Joel Osteen of 1965. Robin Gibb - "Please": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krTDTocxyt0 Robin Gibb - "Sing Slowly Sisters" (full album): https://youtu.be/QNMPcN6_oy0?si=emP92L8psLtPYP…

Low-budget charcuterie. Shoddy kayaks, pants - and dogs! Was the Constitution triple-spaced? ALSO: The New Advice KIng column: "Should Progressives Vote, or Let It all 'Burn'?" PLUS: The Can Do Cold Brew Dome, and songs of the week from Danko Jones and SMALL!!! Danko Jones - "Cadillac": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zw3Ta2UXSLk SMALL - "No One An…

150 Episodes!!!! Past #CBGML publicity stunts that have gotten us in trouble, i.e. filling ponds with cold brew, spraying pond water onto the mayor's furniture store. ALSO: Greg's AI movie script! Charles Manson covering Kelly Clarkson! PLUS: Meeting your future wife at Rock City, and a new Jesus Lizard song!!!! The Jesus Lizard - "Hide and Seek": …

Chris doesn't know how America's two-party system came to be. Greg gently offers a correction. ALSO: TV on the gas pump. Chris says: "I don't want to put everyone down in the world first thing in the morning." PLUS: Using AI to make, ahem, great movies! A song of the week from the Bee Gees! A new Can Do Cold Brew ad! Bee Gees - "Mr. Natural": https…

Neil Hamburger, fake eyeballs and Joe Rogan. ALSO: Bill Burr vs Bill Maher. Eddie Vedder screen printing on a private jet. PLUS: Stone Gossard's groundbreaking athleisure, and a song of the week from Helmet! Helmet - "FBLA": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6p85hfISkw Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscrofton Channel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction…

Chris is back from the Neil Hamburger tour!! Chris is happy! Greg is happy! Gregg Turkington hung out with Anton LaVey. That's right, you read it right. ALSO: Paddy Chayefsky, soothsayer. Chris sold 12 books in Sioux Falls. PLUS: Greg yelled at a powerlifter, Can Do Cold Brew and a song of the week from Elvis Presley!!!! Elvis Presley - "Patch it U…

Greg says the show is "a finely packed and stacked operation." Chris talks about his inner life, AGAIN. Neil Young, meglomaniac. ALSO: Open mics at barber shops. Wes Anderson always wears a bellhop outfit when he writes. Ethan Hawke and Bono regurgitating Cliffs Notes. PLUS: Shorty Shea's luggage. RIP Steve Albini. Song of the week by The Breeders,…

Youtube prarie dogs, feeling self conscious around Persian cats. Obama's Pearl Jam birthday. ALSO: Greg calls Chris "Chris Kaczynski." The sportification of America. PLUS: All of our listeners work at tire shops. Can Do Cold Brew. Song of the week from Richard Harris! Richard Harris - "A Tramp Shining": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYvWRhH0rsM J…

"Nut Pods." Coachella is a PSYOP. Camels standing up to their *waists* in water. ALSO: Rigged scales at Walmart. Greg says bananas are ripening extra fast. PLUS: Dark tales from Bonnaroo 2013, and Pearl Jam's, um, not-so-good new record (except for one pushup song). Pearl Jam - "Dark Matter": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Fx8LprPMIU Cold Brew Pa…

Good news!! XOBy Chris Crofton

The nightmare in Gaza. ALSO: Powerlessness, foodies and trying to get famous. Principles before personalities. PLUS: Sidney Lumet's "Network," William Friedkin's "Sorcerer," and "Handgun," the movie. Fugazi - "Greed": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiwXrnkgpEM Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscrofton Channel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.com Ca…

Elvis, The Memphis Mafia and Colonel Tom Parker. Tom Parker's ridiculous gambling style: "He didn't understand the basics, but it was his favorite thing to do." ALSO: Mashed potatoes, gravy, sauerkraut, crisp bacon and sliced tomatoes. PLUS: "The worst news I've ever heard in my life about anything." (re: spinning fish), Can Do Cold Brew and a song…

Stockton Rush's submersible honky-tonk. Confusing Stockton Rush with Stockard Channing. ALSO: Weaponized wigs, public housing and Trisha Yearwood. PLUS: The Humanzee! A song of the week from The Lovin' Spoonful! Can Do Cold Brew!! Lovin' Spoonful - "Darlin' Companion": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xcd6_cnMAkE Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.com/chris…

Our mom got severely bitten by her own cat, soooo...US health care - portals, paying medical bills with JP Morgan gift cards. ALSO: Marketing myths about whiskey lead to tourists drowning in the Cumberland. Every bar should have their own ambulance. PLUS: 550 miles of formica, Can Do Cold Brew and PF Sloan!! Jimmy Webb - "PF Sloan": https://www.you…

Nashville's trajectory may be unstoppable, but it doesn't mean you gotta be happy about it. "Liberals" are dividing along property lines. ALSO: Brian Jones's acid-casualty beagle. PLUS: a fresh Brian-Jones-themed Can Do Cold Brew ad, and a song of the week from The Rolling Stones!!! The Rolling Stones - "No Expectations": https://www.youtube.com/wa…

James Hetfield's propane habit. Chris says liberals who buy political biographies have ruined thrift stores. ALSO: Conservatives are excited about AI because they are incapable of writing good scripts. Vince Neil's horses. The new Can Do Cold Brew ad!! PLUS: RIP Dex Romweber. Song of the week from Flat Duo Jets!!! Flat Duo Jets - "Crazy Hazy Kisses…

Rich people, ducks and berries. The garbage cans of Madison, Tennessee. ALSO: Hanging antlers on the walls of vacant office space, and calling it a boutique hotel. PLUS: Doc Noss, and the Victorio Peak treasure!! A Doc Noss-themed Can Do Cold Brew ad!! Song of the week from Kenny Rogers!! Kenny Rogers - "Daytime Friends": https://youtu.be/jH5M12DKA…

Dad fights dirty! Irish farmers in therapy!.Greg explains bitcoin! ALSO: Dream-interpreting a motorcycle. PLUS: A couple sketchy edits, and a song of the week from Weedeater! Weedeater - "God Luck and Good Speed": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fz8VhXyYCgM Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscrofton Channel Nonfiction: Channelnonfiction.com Can Do…

Chris demonizes climbing walls, again. Stockton Rush's coffee cup. Greg Abbott's dishonest border war. ALSO: Throwing Elvis impersonators at a problem. The Kardashians are Wild West mummies. PLUS: Greg hopes he doesn't end up a mummy in a funhouse! Can Do Cold Brew! Song of the week from Leslie Stevens!! Leslie Stevens - "Big Time, Sucka": https://…

It's true. Chris broke his scapula during Nashville's "blizzard." The hospital offers a glimpse of the lost middle class. ALSO: Chris's greatest hospitalizations! Cat Scan machines are overpriced toaster ovens. PLUS: Can Do Cold Brew, corporate mergers and a song of the week from Eric Bachmann!! Eric Bachmann - "Heavy Hours": https://www.youtube.co…

Chris has an existential crisis, Greg's audio is f*cked - and it's still a good show!!! ALSO: A great idea for converting an abandoned car wash into a coffee shop, Can Do Cold Brew bringing back vaudeville and the new Advice King!!! PLUS: The new Nashville Confidential, and a song of the week from Alabama!!!! Alabama - "Mountain Music": https://www…

Improv: the laziest way to try to get famous. Tap Dancing vs Grunge. ALSO: Private equity should be illegal. The whole financial industry should be illegal, in fact. The best Can Do Cold Brew ad ever. PLUS: A song of the week from The Strokes!! The Strokes - "OBLIVIUS": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEjdwhVuW74 Cold Brew Patreon: Patreon.com/chri…

"Iron Claw" sucked. Japanese scientists computer-modeled the call of the Moa (in like, 1980) and played it through a loudspeaker in a New Zealand swamp - to little effect. ALSO: Rogue waves, the guys who threw pies at Bill Gates and Bird scooters repurposed as police batons. PLUS: Chris previews the next Nashville Confidential and a song of the wee…

Some guy put a coffee roaster in his gym. Van Gogh got tweaked on coffee. Where did Van Gogh get all the paint? ALSO: William Friedkin vs Al Pacino. Mortgage companies are where 48 Hours episodes are born. PLUS: A new Advice King!! A new Can Do Cold Brew ad!! Song(s) of the week from Jonathan Richman, Hayden and Flyte!!! Jonathan Richman - "Vincent…

Dystopian job listings. A podcast hosted by garbagemen called "The Dump." ALSO: The horror of Moms for Liberty, and a little ditty about seasonal depression. PLUS: An epic Can do Cold Brew ad, and a link to a video of Chris's recent Nashville show (below)!!! Chris Crofton live at Dee's in Nashville: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbjhQFDmF2M&t=381…

CUBEHEADS! The rodeo clown running Argentina. Corporate media talking about the "complicated legacies" of war criminals. Knowing so much you can't function, vs knowing so little that you play frisbee. ALSO: Harvard isn't for learning, it's for networking. The world's highest bouncing superball. PLUS: The myth of nuanced tasers, the new Advice King …

Rich people’s roof decks collapsing under the weight of their helicopters. Death may be a premature conclusion. Greg is stockpiling carbon paper. ALSO: Billionaires looking at each other and seeing cartoon turkey legs. Proto-libertarians mad about newspaper stands. PLUS: Chris's NPR feature, The Advice King, The Galapagos Affair, I Called Him Morga…

Yeti coolers' marketing team successfully hypnotized the 1%. Elon Musk is TRULY, objectively dumb - case closed. ALSO: Trump did NOT pay back those loans. The new Neil Hamburger album is out!!! PLUS: The new Can Do Cold Brew ad and a bonus song of the week from The Lemonheads (the first is "The March" from Neil Hamburger). Neil Hamburger - "The Mar…

Chris says "I don't remember what I used to talk about on these shows." Greg wants to steal all the cars at the airport. Chris says beware of overly energetic people. ALSO: The latest Advice King, Chris's new NPR show Nashville Confidential (link below), and Jared Leto's horrible new song. PLUS: Song of the week (a Bob Dylan cover) from Richie Have…

Aliens will snatch the earth. Self-driving cars will become sentient and run society. ALSO: Chris's Wealth Hoarding Corner™ PLUS: Dar Robinson supervises a Knoxville furniture salesman's fire walk, and the song of the week from Deodato!!!! Deodato - "Also Sprach Zarathustra": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJKsp9_L24Q Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscro…

Autozone is a sorry excuse for a community center. People marveling at instances when the ultra-wealthy are "nice." Kevin Costner thinks he IS his character from Yellowstone. ALSO: Sherpas, Robert Irwin: "A Desert of Pure Feeling." PLUS: Nashville Confidential's WPLN debut (link below!) and a song of the week by The National!!! The National - "Horn…

Chris is solo again this week. He wants to start a cold yoga business. The bourgeois are already lounging in ice baths, so why wouldn't they lay down a yoga mat in a walk-in freezer? ALSO: The Neil Hamburger tour, an Advice King column and the latest Can Do Cold Brew commercial. PLUS: A song of the week from Cinerama!!! Cinerama - "You Turn Me On":…

Greg's out of town, so Chris is all alone!!! The police are quiet quitting. Greg Gutfeld thinks it's time for a civil war because of shoplifting. Chris thinks those two things are connected. ALSO: Neil Hamburger!!! PLUS: A song of the week from Nick Lowe!!!! Nick Lowe - "Time Wounds All Heels": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=998fP8wMHus Patreon: P…

Cold Brew Got Me Like™ is big in Thailand??? The Nina, The Pinta and the Santa Maria. ALSO: Americans should spend more time thinking about birds. PLUS: Ayn Rand, again! Song of the Week "Ambulance Driver," by Superdrag!!! Superdrag - "Ambulance Driver": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GiAQPvXxuxQ Patreon: Patreon.com/chriscrofton Channel Nonfictio…

The CEO of Blackrock doesn't know why everyone is in a bad mood. His name is Larry Fink - for real. He manages 9 trillion dollars. Back in the day, the townspeople would have violently dismantled his stagecoach. ALSO: Anthony Blinken plays the blues. PLUS: Chris's upcoming tour with Neil Hamburger and a song of the week from Leslie Stevens!!!! Lesl…

B-12 bombers full of schnapps. When your dad's job is scaring people in one of those haunted houses. ALSO: A ridiculously complimentary New Yorker article about anti-art sociopath David Zaslav. PLUS: Tina Fey in a dramatic role, life extension technology involving a pair of white shorts and a song of the week by The Replacements!!! The Replacements…

Old-west cosplay is NOT harmless. The Urban Cowboy is back, and he's a Republican UFC fighter driving a Dodge Ram with tinted windows. ALSO: Kevin Costner drives producer Don Was insane, and Jann Wenner tricks Chris into buying a Robbie Robbertson solo album. PLUS: The new Can Do Cold Brew Ad, and a somg of the week from Squeeze!!! Squeeze - "In Qu…

Ayn Rand brags that her worldview was set in stone when she was two years old. She was passionate about burning oil. Vivek Ramaswamy is Ayn Rand with a rockabilly hairstyle. ALSO: Christopher Nolan is a climate criminal. Greg's wellness routine is acupuncture and Mike and Ikes. ALSO: Ross Perot, Elvis Presley was JFK's emergency room doctor and Son…

Rich people consider CLOSED signs an affront. Jack Gyllenhaal gets health advice from Gunther, his pony-tailed deck builder. ALSO: Hungover legislators vetoing stuff just so they can get back to their house faster. AJ Weberman was Bob Dylan's dominatrix. PLUS: The new Can Do Cold Brew ad, and song(s) of the week from the late, great Jimmy Buffett!!…