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What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices. My mission isn't just to help people overc ...
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Porn Free Radio

Matt Dobschuetz

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RecoveredMan.com presents Porn Free Radio with Matt Dobschuetz. This is the podcast for motivated guys, who want to quit looking at porn, get hope and take action. Whether you have been at this a long time or just hit rock bottom, this podcast is for you. Matt Dobschuetz shares how his journey to being porn free started with being caught by his wife downloading pornography in 2001. What came out of that lowest point was a new desire to get free and a passion for helping others. Matt has prac ...
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Ask a Sex Therapist is for you if you are ready to spice up your sex life. You are ready to learn all the things you were never taught about sex, intimacy and great communication in the bedroom. You are excited to explore your own body and feel more connected to your partner. You want to feel body confident, allow yourself to experience greater sexual pleasure and feel accepted for your fantasies and desires. If you are ready to take your relationship to the next level, get rid of the shame ...
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Episode Summary I recently attended a film festival in St Petersburg, FL and saw the film Every Seven by married couple Caitlin Morris and Alex Hanno. The film questions the way marriage is structured and considers an interesting alternative. After the showing, I invited them to be on the podcast and they said yes! Join us for a thought-provoking c…
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What if you had a mental toolbelt to stop porn cravings and overcome fantasizing and lust habits? Today, I’m going to give you exactly that. By the end of this episode, you will have 7 tools to overcome fantasizing and lust, so you can beat porn cravings and stop wanting pornography. But - just like anything - in order for them to work, you have to…
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Feeling stuck with sex? Request a free Intimacy Breakthrough Call with Heather! --> Intimacy Breakthrough Session Booking Link Join us for a special episode with Heather's clients! Lauren and Megan "graduated" from Heather's Intimacy Infusion coaching program and they spill the tea on what it was like going from feeling stuck and frustrated to feel…
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Most relapses are predictable. So why are so often surprised by them? On this episode, Matt shares an episode from his Coffee with the Dobber series for contributors to Porn Free Radio. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/340 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free…
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Pre-Order Your Copy of Stefanie's Book Now! https://stefanieirisweiss.com/ Join Heather and our guest, astrologer & sexologist Stefanie Iris Weiss, for this fun episode all about how your (and your partner's) zodiac signs influence your approach to sex. Download the Ask A Sex Therapist app and grab a free seat in Heather's Intimacy Audit mini cours…
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Men use porn because they like the effect produced by it. The elusive sensation changes our state while we are using it. It provides a timely escape from our present reality. And even though we have taken steps to stop using porn we often are still are looking for the escape. I call this the bubble. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredma…
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When my porn addiction recovery story started a decade ago, I believed that the cravings for porn were my main enemy. I thought that if I could just resist these urges, I’d be free. However, through years of working with men around the world and diving deep into my own experiences, I've come to understand that these cravings are merely symptoms of …
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Announcements New “ENM Support Squad” Group Coaching! Register here 👉 https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/store Looking for a podcast intern and also accepting applications for counseling interns! Email Hello@HeatherShannon.co Check out the new Ask A Sex Therapist app and get free access to The Intimacy Audit mini course while you’re at it! https:…
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On this episode, Matt shares a PFR listener story from Aaron C. who got hope from Porn Free Radio and took action by joining a 12-step fellowship. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/338 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/…
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One of the pillars for building a recovery mindset and lifestyle to overcome porn addiction is connection - or in other words having positive, fulfilling relationships. In today’s episode, I speak with Chris Reavis, professional coach, speaker, and author in the corporate space. He teaches how we can enjoy work more and build better corporate relat…
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Join my Intro to Internal Family Systems (IFS) workshop https://shorturl.at/eS5rL this Wednesday for the chance to master your emotions, improve your relationships and get hot seat coaching with me! In this episode, me and Todd Baratz (@YourDiagnonsense on IG) have a very REAL discussion on romantic relationships--the good, the bad and the ugly! An…
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Do you find yourself constantly asking, “Why do I struggle with porn addiction?” Or, ”Why is my spouse / child addicted to porn?” There are a lot of messages out there that will tell you porn addiction is about sexual urges. It’s about having a high libido. It’s about a desire for sex that isn’t being fulfilled. If a man wants porn then it’s his sp…
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In the second of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as we complete this list of 12 provocations designed to challenge your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/337 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) …
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🫂Are you non-monogamous or exploring non-monogamy? If so, join Heather's ENM Support Squad Wednesdays at 4pm Eastern starting on July 24th. You can register here --> https://www.eventbrite.com/e/922588806957?aff=oddtdtcreator 🧑‍🎓We are looking for a podcast intern (must be 18+)! Email hello@heathershannon.co if you're interested. 📱Download Heather'…
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If you're battling with pornography addiction, you're not alone, and there's a way out. I've been there, and I've come through the other side. Let's talk about how you can break free from porn addiction and reclaim your life. In today’s episode, I speak with Mark Collins, a Coach and Mentor who helps men uncover their true identity so they can buil…
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My book, Porn Free: Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look At Porn, is known for its provocative statement, “Porn is not the problem for us. It's the solution.” In the first of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as I share 12 more provocations aimed at challenging your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here…
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Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here. https://podfollow.com/AskASexTherapist ***** Ever thought about being in a throuple? Regardless of whether it's for you, I bet you're curious about this unique relationship structure! Tune in with Heather's guests, Dr. Rachael Meir and her partners Aaron and Casey for a truly unique episode. Ge…
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Do you find yourself struggling to quit porn, barely making it past the first week or even the first few days? Today, I’m going to give you 8 rules to get you 3-months sober from porn. I remember how daunting it felt when I was grappling with a decade-long pornography addiction. I constantly wondered what would finally help me overcome this addicti…
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🎧 Hey there, curious minds! Are you wondering if you're simply blessed with a high libido or if you have a sex or porn addiction? Or maybe you've been wondering if your partner's porn behavior is healthy. Today, I unpack the differences between having a healthy, high sex drive and what it looks like when things turn into a compulsion. I'll also spr…
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Recently, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Therapist Jeanine Gardner, from Circles of Grace, part of LifeStar Salt Lake. She shared extremely valuable insights about how trauma, attachment, shame, and porn addiction are all interconnected, and how we can heal trauma and insecure attachments to overcome porn addiction. In this episode we cove…
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Click "Follow" to subscribe to the show! Don't miss future episodes on being in a throuple, sexual astrology, listener Q & A and more! 👉 https://podfollow.com/AskASexTherapist Show Summary In this delightful episode of "Ask A Sex Therapist," I interview the legendary Dr. Betty Martin about the magical realms of mindful touch and the captivating Whe…
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So, you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when BAM a girl walks by in a skimpy outfit. Thoughts of lust, fantasizing, and craving are running through your mind. Or, let’s say, you’re browsing online, minding your own business, when BOOM some ad pops up of women in swimsuits. You’re triggered. And these triggers have started you…
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Enjoy this episode of wild audience questions (and I have more we didn't even get to!) A husband dealing with disability turns to porn and his wife wants to know how to handle it. A husband who isn't getting any at home tries to join a gangbang . . . but it doesn't go according to plan. She loves her boyfriend, but he's got some odd behavior when i…
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It can be so hard to know how to help someone with a porn addiction. We worry deeply for our loved ones. We try so, so hard to “knock some sense into them”; to tell them to get help, or to try and help them ourselves. We talk and talk and talk until we’re blue in the face, attempting to get through. Sometimes, our spouse or child will have moments …
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🔥 Ever wondered what’s behind your deepest sexual fantasies? This week on Ask A Sex Therapist, Artemisia De Vine joins Heather to chat about erotic fantasies. Artemisia, with her extensive background as a professional dominatrix and sex worker, helps us understand when it feels safe to explore fantasies by getting past our own internal protectors. …
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Do you ever wonder why you get sucked into porn addiction and everything else seems to disappear? You have a million important reasons for quitting porn, but when you get stressed you seem to enter this "funnel" that you can't see outside. It feels almost inevitable that you'll give in. I remember exactly how that was. I dealt with this habit for o…
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🎉 Learn about Expanded Orgasm with this free guide! 👉 Expand Her Orgasm Tonight (2.0) Ready to unlock the secrets to more and better orgasms? 🎉 This week on "Ask a Sex Therapist," we're tackling one of your favorite topics—orgasms! Whether you're chasing your very first climax or looking to make those peaks a more common part of your bedroom repert…
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So you’ve got this monkey on your back. It keeps interrupting your life. You’ve been taught some mental habits to quit porn, but none of them seem to help. You’re tired of being addicted to porn. It increases your anxiety, it decreases your ability to connect with others, you feel more depressed, you don’t feel as motivated or driven. It’s sucking …
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Join Matt and Sam Dobschuetz as they read listener letters celebrating 10 years of Porn Free Radio. Take hope and take action! Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/335 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the boo…
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🌟 Feeling stuck in your love life or overwhelmed by stress? Tune in to this game-changing episode of "Ask A Sex Therapist," where we sit down with emotional healing coach Allison Jayne to uncover transformative techniques for personal growth and better relationships! Allison shares her expertise on EFT tapping, a simple yet potent method to rewire …
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Do you see yourself as broken or an addict? Then this episode is for you. Over the last 10 years, I have had a shift in my thinking; I have moved away from diagnosing and pathologizing porn behaviors (disease model.) And I moved towards a choice/ownership model. I invite the guys I work with to examine their choices, define problematic behaviors, d…
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Before recovery, I lived a divided life. I hid anything I found unacceptable from my friends and family including my problematic porn use. On the surface, I presented a "nice guy" version of myself to be liked and accepted. It was exhausting and painfully lonely. In recovery, my why is "to be the same on the inside as on the outside." But this requ…
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🤗 Are you ready to expand your understanding of intimacy beyond the bedroom? In this cozy episode of Ask A Sex Therapist, Heather shares her personal journey of attending her very first cuddle party! Wrap yourself up in the knowledge that not all closeness needs to be about sex, discover how platonic touch can open doors to greater intimacy, and le…
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We've all heard the phrase, “Fact vs. Fiction.” But a friend of mine said it should be “Fact vs. Fear.” It's fear that often leads us to our escapism and avoidance with porn. This is part 7 in our new series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/332 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you…
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Today I want to talk about a lie that we're told about porn addiction. We're often told that addiction is just a bad habit, that we need to abstain from it, get over our impulsivity, and just say no to the cravings and urges. But let me tell you, that's a bunch of crap. Overcoming porn addiction isn't just about saying no to the habit; it's about d…
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🎙️ Hot flashes, mood swings, and... sexy times? Menopause isn't just your mother's concern, folks – it's a rollercoaster that can start as early as *38* and it affects everything from your emotions to your intimacy. 😳💥 Fear not, because this episode of *Ask A Sex Therapist* is here to light up the path through the mist of menopause. We've got the r…
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Is stress based on our perception or is it objective? That was question we discussed in a recent REV group. The stressful situations guys described had one surprising thing in common. And it might change the way you look at stress. On this episode, we break down stress and examine what helps us return to calm. This is part 6 in our series, The Choi…
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How can feeling bad about porn addiction make you more likely to seek it out? Do you ever wonder how you could possibly want to stop watching porn so bad, yet the worse you feel about it the more you seem to “want” it? Does it seem strange that you could feel so negative about something, and yet crave the heck out of it at the same time? You think,…
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Hey there, lovely listeners! 🌸 In this episode, we're getting real and addressing the tricky topic of self-consciousness during sex. Whether you're worried about your body, technique, or just feeling like a complete beginner, we've got you covered. Join me as we unpack what self-consciousness really looks like in the bedroom and uncover actionable …
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“You're either working on recovery or you're working on relapse” ― Old guy at my recovery meeting Coach Vern Tompke sits in on Porn Free Radio to talk about the line between recovery and relapse. This is part 5 in our series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/330 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 wa…
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Porn addiction is a struggle for many today. Finding ways to break free of porn can feel confusing and overwhelming, as we aren’t sure where to start. One method of overcoming addiction that is gaining traction is nutrition. In episode 47 of No More Desire, hosted by me (Jake Kastleman), we turn the spotlight to the intersection of nutrition, menta…
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Got feedback or an idea for the show? Email us at AskASexTherapistPodcast@gmail.com! In the latest episode of Ask A Sex Therapist, Heather engages in a powerful conversation with guest and professional Surrogate Partner, Katherine Yeagel. Together they explore the nuanced and often misunderstood practice of Surrogate Partner Therapy. Katherine, a s…
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MMA coach, Firas Zahabi, emphasizes that consistency in training beats intensity. Consistency is where we build skill and endurance without burning out. And our training volume over time leads to mastery. This powerful concept can be applied to our recovery. This is part 4 in our series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://re…
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I recently received this question from one of my listeners: “I’m trying to break free from porn. What are some key things I can do throughout the day so that when it comes to the time I get home I’m not tempted beyond what I can handle? I know the Bible says that I will never be tempted beyond what I can bear but sometimes I feel like I can’t beat …
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Don’t forget to “Follow” the show 👉https://podfollow.com/askasextherapist. We have awesome episodes coming up on sexual fantasies, surrogate partner therapy and what it’s like being a porn star and you won’t want to miss them! In this week's solo episode, Heather breaks down the top 5 reasons your sex life might be feeling stagnant. Once you know w…
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When you started recovery, the challenge was overwhelming (high) and your skill level was low. And chances are if you have not significantly changed your habits, the challenge feels about the same. For a long time the only tool in your tool box was willpower. Some version of "JUST SAY NO." But often willpower is easily exhausted. It gives out when …
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Have feedback on the show or want to ask a sex question for our next listener Q & A? Email Heather at AskASexTherapistPodcast@gmail.com. ⚡️ Sparks flying and magic in the air? Or just the sound of yet another dating myth fizzling out? 🐸💔 Join Heather and this week's guest expert, Damona Hoffman, as they smash the old fairy tale narratives and help …
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“Porn is not the problem for us,” I write in my book. “It’s the solution.” It may feel like the problem in your life that needs to be fixed. But if you’re using porn there is a need that is driving it. It’s a solution. This is part 2 in our series, The Choice is Yours. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/327 PLUS: Whenever you're…
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Don’t forget to follow the show. We have some amazing guests you won’t want to miss including Damona Hoffman from The Drew Barrymore show, Kelly Casperson from the You Are Not Broken podcast and surrogate partner Katherine Yeagel. Reminder to you that the show notes are choc-ful of helpful links. You can submit your anonymous sex questions via our …
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Author Steve Chandler often says there are two types of people in the world; owners and victims. Victims see themselves as victims of their situation or circumstance. Life happens to them. Owners on the hand while they can't control every situation and circumstance, they control their reaction to any situation. Learning the habits of thinking like …
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