Best Heaven Leigh Carey Podcasts (2024)

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Date 85 - Smooch My Shiny Metal Ass 1:02:26

4h ago1:02:26

1:02:26

We are back with another Second Chance At Love for some of our monstrous singletons who didn’t make the cut in previous episodes! Winning out this week is the Alabama Metalman, an alien/cryptid/potential superhero who more or less ruined the life of a local police chief. Even cryptids are living that ACAB life it seems. So strap on and strap in for…

1
Date 84 - Would You Still Love Me If I Was A Wyrm (Pt. 1) 1:08:55

14d ago1:08:55

1:08:55

It’s the age old question we must ask all of our romantic partners.. Would you still love me if I was a Wyrm? That is to say a massive, writing beast that haunts the waterways and dark places of the world. To explore this question we bring you two particularly wyrmy (or wormy depending on your definition) singletons today in the first of what is to…

1
Date 83 - Right Size For the Job 50:05

1M ago50:05

50:05

Does size matter? Is bigger always better? These are the tough questions we tackle here at Monster Crush. With that in mind we explore two ends of the size spectrum with the diminutive forest spirit of the Congo, The Eloko, and the sizable but probably-internet-bs mountain monster, the Bergkonge. While these two vary greatly in size they share surp…

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Date 82 - Never Skip Flipper Day 56:33

2M ago56:33

56:33

People are seeing something in the warmer parts of the ocean. Unlike any other sea serpent, this singleton is segmented, lined with flippers, and will give you whatever head you want it to. It’s the Con Rit, a potentially creepy crawly cryptid that lurks in the waters of Vietnam and, if all of the slightly connected sightings can be believed, lots …

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Date 81 - Some Real Daddy Energy 1:09:31

2M ago1:09:31

1:09:31

Happy Daddy’s Day! To celebrate all those monster lovers who appreciate some good daddy energy, we bring you the Greek Mythological Father of All Monsters: TYPHON! This hundred-headed, serpentine titan is ancient, virile, and looking for love… and also the devastation of the Olympians. But maybe LD can soothe his volcanic spirit and show a little m…

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Date 80 - Down the Rabbit’s Hole 1:04:43

3M ago1:04:43

1:04:43

Monster Crush returns with a Heavy Hitter episode! It’s time for Derek to admit that he was wrong as we entertain the surprisingly complex world of the Jackalope and it’s many horned relatives! So get ready for things to get horny and harey (as in the animal, it’s not a typo) as we discuss the ancient history of lepines with nice racks, the rogue t…

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Date 79 - Is That A Lightsaber In Your Pocket 1:11:43

4M ago1:11:43

1:11:43

EPISODE 79: IS THAT A LIGHTSABER IN YOUR POCKETIT IS A TIME OF MONSTER SMOOCHING IN THE GALAXY…Ok, enough caps lock, this won’t scroll anyway. Happy Star Wars Day! In honor of one of the greatest epic space operas, we bring you our very first Monster Crush Star Wars episode! So feel free to get a little cocky, have a good feeling about this, and fe…

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Date 78 - Critter Done 59:37

4M ago59:37

59:37

Hear that sound out there in the dark woods? Well pull up a log to the fire and we’ll tell you all about those things that lurk out there in the dark… and how cute they are! This episode we explore FEARSOME CRITTERS and don’t worry, there’s nothing to be scared of. I mean, so what if they probably all are made up tall tales, these Critters are lurk…

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Date 77 - In the March of Madness Pt. 2 1:08:15

4M ago1:08:15

1:08:15

In the March of Madness is back with PART TWO - THE WESTERN CONFERENCE (not that the cardinal direction has any meaning here). We are back with even more eldritch horrors to drive you to the very brink of madness... in a sexy way? Get ready the final rounds of our Salty 17-single-elimination-smiooch bracket featuring more tentacles and mouths than …

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Date 76 - In The March of Madness Pt. 1 1:05:09

5M ago1:05:09

1:05:09

In the spirit of March Madness we give you a showdown between some of the most madness-inducing monsters ever imagined. Get ready for In The March of Madness, a 17-monster single-elimination bracket featuring some of the most notable eldritch horrors of Lovecraftian fiction. We get really deep with these old ones as we narrow down who is the most s…

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Date 75 - It's A Me, Monster Crush! 1:03:07

5M ago1:03:07

1:03:07

WaHOOO Happy Mario Day! Or rather Happy March 10 (MAR10)! To celebrate we pulled inspiration from everyone’s favorite plumber/shell-stomper to present two monsters from the real-world. So make sure you have extra lives and get ready for The Tanuki and the Kayeri!. The Tanuki is a yokai from Japanese folklore and mythology which presents as a shapes…

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Date 74 - JUMPSCARE! 1:27:12

6M ago1:27:12

1:27:12

Take the jump with us into a whole new series of dates! For this Leap Year Derek presents LD with two monsters who use jumping as their primary means of motion. So hop on in, strap on, and strap in for the Pérák, the Spring Man of Prague, and the Jiangshi, the hopping vampires of China. Also, get ready for some Spooky News that also weirdly feature…

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Date 73 - This Dragon Has Wood 1:21:32

6M ago1:21:32

1:21:32

Happy New Year… again! That is, Happy Lunar New Year and according to the Chinese zodiac it is the year of the Wood Dragon! So 28 episodes after first mentioning them, we are finally giving Chinese Dragons their own episode. Join us as we delve into the millennia of tradition and culture that have shaped the various types of Chinese Dragons and be …

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Date 72 - BOOed Offstage 1:19:43

7M ago1:19:43

1:19:43

Where do you plan to spend your afterlife? For some of the departed, they chose an eternity of entertainment in the theater! Join us as LD joins two of her loves: Scares and Stagecraft to discuss Theater Ghosts! These paranormal performers and spectral spectators are sure to send a shiver up your spine when all is dark except the ghostlight!Featuri…

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Date 71 - New Year, Same Monsters 54:37

7M ago54:37

54:37

With all of the change that the new year brings it's sometimes nice to settle down with something familiar. And better the monster you know... or at least heard mentioned once on a previous episode. We return for second chances for one particular monster who didn't get the spotlight before. This episode is all about The Van Meter Visitor! So join u…

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Date 70 - Mothman Pt. 2 Clappable Chrome Cryptid Cakes 1:08:26

8M ago1:08:26

1:08:26

An episode just in time for your holiday travels (but maybe skip the bridge part if you are driving over one), it's Mothman Part 2! So strap in and strap on for all you've ever wanted to know about everyone's favorite winged harbinger of doom! Featuring: Here come the Men in Black, The Smiling Man, Mothman can smell your menstruation, bridge collap…

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Date 69 (NICE) - Like a Mothman to the Flame 49:14

8M ago49:14

49:14

It's finally here! Episode 69 of Monster Crush (nice nice nice) and for this very special occasion we bring you everyone's favorite cryptid harbinger of doom, the one and only MOTHMAN. And just because we can't get enough of this red-eyed nightmare beast, this is only part ONE of a TWO PART SERIES! Featuring: Mothman is a (tragic) Christmas story, …

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Date 68 - The Most Cursed Gifts 1:17:18

9M ago1:17:18

1:17:18

In honor of the important recent holiday, Black Friday (duh), we change things up a bit this week. Instead of monsters we discuss Cursed/Haunted Items! Would you purchase something knowing it's cursed? Many people have and in this episode we talk about three of the biggest cursed items out there. Featuring: The "Mummy" that sank the Titanic, A New …

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Date 67 - Hoo Loves You Baby 1:12:45

9M ago1:12:45

1:12:45

Ready for a cryptid that LD described as "unsettling in a sexy way"? Who? Exactly. No, who? Yes, exactly. That joke only kind of works in text but what does work is the Owlman of Mawnan! Get ready for big wings and an even bigger heart and an EVEN BIGGER set of eyes that will leave you in fear! Featuring: Batman: the cryptid of Gotham, Spooky News:…

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Date 66 - Tingles In All The Right Places 1:13:32

10M ago1:13:32

1:13:32

Happy Halloween from all of us at Monster Crush! To celebrate this, the most monstrous time of the year, LD presents her first singletons! We get down and smutty with a group of singletons pulled straight from the mind of two-time Hugo award nominee, and writer of works such as Space Raptor Butt Invasion and Bisexual Mothman Mailman Makes A Special…

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Date 65 - New Blood 1:02:21

10M ago1:02:21

1:02:21

Some bittersweet news for our humble show. Co-founder, co-host, and co-cryptowoologist Heaven-Leigh has had to step back from the show. She is safe and healthy but some recent life events (including good stuff like a promotion) have left her without the time she feels that Monster Crush deserves. We wish Heaven-Leigh the absolute best of luck and w…

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Date 64 - A Cryptid By Any Other Name Pt.2 1:01:28

11M ago1:01:28

1:01:28

It's PART 2 of A Cryptid By Any Other Name! The final addition to this mini series of oddly-named monsters gives us a practical bounty of creepy-creature-delights. Derek presents Heaven-Leigh with the folkloric Jimmy Squarefoot and eldritch being, The Nameless Thing of Berkeley Square. We also discover a rival to THE WORST CRYPTID NAME EVER, stand …

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Date 63 - Not Sorry to Bug You 1:03:50

11M ago1:03:50

1:03:50

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Not anymore! We're armed and here to annihilate!!! In aMonster Crush first, Derek chooses which to kill between two insect cryptids. Judgment free, but these guys are GROSS! Do we need both of them, really? I don't think so! Warning: This episode contains sensitive topics such as genocide, brief mentions of…

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Monster Crush Bonus: D&D Lycanthropes with the Lady Dame 1:21:55

12M ago1:21:55

1:21:55

Get ready for a little playful biting as Derek is joined by a special guest, The Lady Dame (LD)! LD lends her lovely voice to the show for a special episode of exploring all things lycanthrope through the lore of Dungeons & Dragons. There's blood and hair in weird places so you know it will be a good time! Warning, this podcast contains discussions…

1
Date 62 - Clamoring for Love 55:15

12M ago55:15

55:15

There are a lot of them, they're fast-moving, and maybe the politest love interests we've ever had?? This week, the Tuscumbia Space Penguins set their sights on our grassy mounds! Insert another sexual innuendo here! Aliens! Featuring: Spooky News; Don’t Check the Weather; Milk Princess; Nice Guy (Derogatory); Kangaroo Leather; Geena Davis; Blooper…

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Date 61 - A Cryptid By Any Other Name Pt.1 1:11:39

1y ago1:11:39

1:11:39

Is not a cryptid by any other name just as smoochable? This week we explore our romantic options with two objectively silly named cryptids, The Old Saybrook Blockheads and The Sandown Clown. We also discuss THE WORST CRYPTID NAME EVER, a name I will not type in these show notes. Strap in and strap on! Featuring: Is Your Sister HOT?, Spooky News, Ob…

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Date 60 - When God Closes one Door, He Ropens Another 1:08:28

1y ago1:08:28

1:08:28

This week we head to Papua New Geninue in search of God's little miracle the Ropen, a not-dinosaur that was consciously curated to eat fish, rob graves, and act as the best nightlight around. Take that, Devil! (PS: I tried to build an audio cave out of cardboard boxes I stole from my hot neighbor's recycling and it messed up my audio really bad, so…

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Date 59 - From the Vault: Arctic Blast From the Past 1:09:26

1y ago1:09:26

1:09:26

Brrr, what's that? It's a b-b-blast from the past with our first ever FROM THE VAULT episode. We recorded this episode almost two years ago to the day and immediately blacked out, we don't remember a thing. Recently resurfaced, we've blown off the dust and present this gently used episode for your enjoyment. Blast the AC, bundle up, and don't forge…

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Date 58 - Boss Babes Pt. 2 1:05:10

1y ago1:05:10

1:05:10

Bigger, badder, bossier. Bowser may rule with an iron fist, but at least he has a kingdom. This week's boss babe isn't interested in anything except the total destruction of Hyrule. Uh-oh – red flag alert! (His beige flag is that he's a redhead.) Featuring: Spooky News!; Ice Planet Barbarians; F**k Scott Fitzgerald; Sex Pollen; Bitter, Old Witches;…

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Date 57 - Boss Babes Pt. 1 53:38

1y ago53:38

53:38

We talk about a lot of serious, real monsters on this show – like real, actual Bigfoot, and actually real Mothman. For this episode, we thought it would be fun to talk about totally fake monsters that don't actually exist (not typical of our show at all!). And these bachelors aren't just basic bad guys, they are Boss Bad Guys, Boss Hotties, Boss Ba…

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Date 56 - I Saw Goody Derek with the Devil Creatures of Vietnam! 1:05:19

1y ago1:05:19

1:05:19

This week prepare to get hot, humid, and spelunked! We explore all the nooks and crannies of the world's stinkiest cave for a genuinely bulletproof love. Warning: this episode contains sensitive topics such as xenophobia, war, and antisemitic conspiracy theories. Featuring: U.S. of (Mothman’s) Ass; Midnight (m)Ass; Sharks; Spooky News!; Weird Poop;…

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Date 55 - Krack Open a Wet One with the Boys 1:16:30

1+ y ago1:16:30

1:16:30

This week we go deep diving for love. You know him, you fear him, you may have built a home on him thinking he was a set of islands (it happens to the best of us) – it's time to unleash the Kracken! Warning: this episode contains sensitive topics such as death and necrophilia. Featuring: Alien’s Conspiracy Theories; News of the World: Bowser x Luig…

1
Date 54 - The Hate Stops Here 1:05:31

1+ y ago1:05:31

1:05:31

That monster under your bed keeps you up at night with its rancid vibes and bad takes, but it can make you laugh like no one else. A werewolf keeps showing up at your work and demanding to speak to your manager, and you can't help but notice they are kind of cute. That's not your enemy; that's your enemy to lover! Seething disdain and tension so th…

1
Date 53 - Squatch Your Heart Pt. 2 1:26:16

1+ y ago1:26:16

1:26:16

I bet you thought, "Oh sure, they say they're back, but I've heard that before. We shall see in two weeks." Surprise! We're back a week early because we're trying to make it up to you, okay? We couldn't leave you sweating as you waited for more Bigfoot! Featuring: When dogs go wild; Patty's pendulous breasts; I got kidnapped by Bigfoot and all I go…

1
Date 52 - Squatch Your Heart Pt. 1 58:54

1+ y ago58:54

58:54

Risen from the grave and casually ignoring that we ghosted you for the last two years, you're not-favorite-but-at-least-top-100 most delightful duo is back! We couldn't return empty-handed, so we've brought North America's most eligible bachelor, Bigfoot! Featuring: Life updates; dead dove (open); famous woodworkers; Clark Gable lookalikes; Big Foo…

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Date 51 - The Beach Boys (Monster Version) 1:15:18

3y ago1:15:18

1:15:18

What a day/week/month/year/life! You deserve a break! Grab a towel, your favorite book, and prepare to fall in love on the seashore. Better to fall in love than fall in, because some of these singletons might eat you. Exciting! CW: discussions of sex, death, infant death, harm to animals, insects, disease, animal attacks, drowning. Featuring: Lions…

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Date 50 - Monster Smooching as Praxis 2:08:37

3y ago2:08:37

2:08:37

IT’S OUR 50th EPISODE!! To celebrate, we put together a very special episode, unlike anything we’ve done before. Heaven-Leigh provides a comprehensive look at critical aspects of Donna Haraway’s work and then connects it somehow to monster smooching? From there, Derek is presented with a horrifying glimpse into humanity’s future. This may be our mo…

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Date 49 - Out With the Old, in With the New 1:17:44

3+ y ago1:17:44

1:17:44

You can cut all the flowers, but you can’t keep Spring from coming! It’s time to throw open the windows, beat that old rug, and pay tribute to the naked little man who lives under your floorboards. Normal stuff! This week, Heaven-Leigh presents Derek with a selection of singletons that have already moved in and are busy judging how many dishes ther…

1
Monster Crush Bonus: I Roll to Smooch 1:13:05

3+ y ago1:13:05

1:13:05

Get out your icosahedrons, it's a D&D bonus episode! Heaven-Leigh's schedule is busy these days so Derek decides to take special guest Kappa on a smoochable tour of the Forgotten Realms with a special selection of Dungeons & Dragons monsters. When Heaven-Leigh is away, the boys will slay (but in a sexy way)... Hey that all kinda rhymed! CW: Violenc…

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Date 48 - King of Monsters and King of My Heart 1:26:16

3+ y ago1:26:16

1:26:16

Not up for debate: Godzilla's sex appeal. Up for debate: Which of his rivals is the hottest? This week, Derek breaks down some of Godzilla's sexiest foes. They're big, they're horrifying, and they're ready to destroy a city as a testament to their love! CW: human trafficking mention, nuclear weapons and devastation, eco-fascism. Featuring: Weird Mi…

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Date 47 - Women's Herstory Horror 1:07:21

3+ y ago1:07:21

1:07:21

Since this episode was recorded in March, it counts as our official women's HERstory month episode. And what better way to celebrate women's accomplishments than by examining the lives (and deaths) of two famous murderers. ALLEGED murderers. ALLEGED vampire. ALLEGED witch. CONFIRMED grisly end at the hands of corrupt officials. CW: torture, body ho…

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Date 46 - Aliens... Probably 1:15:18

3+ y ago1:15:18

1:15:18

Listen, if your man is green, has an indecipherable accent, loves pogo sticks, and won't let you meet his family... that isn't your man, that's an alien. CW: Abduction, thalassophobia, sharks, animal death, blood horror, gun violence. Featuring: a Baby on Mars; the Most F***able Number; Drake Equation; Glow Sharks; Derek's True Age; Alien Pogo Stic…

1
Date 45 - Horde my Love 1:17:41

3+ y ago1:17:41

1:17:41

We heat up these colder months with a little dragon fire as Derek presents Heaven-Leigh with a selection of 3 scaly, draconic singletons from all over the world. CW: Sex, sex toys, avalanches and natural disasters, car accidents, death, drowning/flooding, war, cannibalism, religion, politics. Featuring: The Sexiest Dragon Hoards; Spooky News!; Drag…

1
Date 44 - Soggy Bottom Boys 1:02:39

3+ y ago1:02:39

1:02:39

Welcome back! Derek and Heaven-Leigh return from their wintery hiatus and journey into some of the wettest, peatiest bogs searching for love. Bring a crusty loaf of bread and some ripe fruit; there is jerky and butter in these bogs. CW: cannibalism, sexual assault, racism, religious sacrifice, death, train disaster, violence. Featuring: Human Jerky…

1
Winter Wonderland Update 34:00

3+ y ago34:00

34:00

Fear not: nothing bad this way comes! Derek and Heaven-Leigh give a brief life update and the plans to continue the show in the new year, hotter and heavier than ever! This time, the hiatus is actually planned, which shows we are growing. And maybe we'll get a Nectar sponsorship out of this. Nectar, get at us! CW: night terrors Special thanks to ou…

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Date 43 - FROM THE VAULT - Ohio is For Monster Lovers 1:04:22

3+ y ago1:04:22

1:04:22

In our very first from the vault release, we give you: the unaired Ohio episode! We recorded this way back when Derek first joined the show and then just never posted it. But we blew off the dust and gave it a good ol' spit shine, and present it to you in all its retro glory. CW: Slurping noises, Child Endangerment, Mentions of Violence. Featuring:…

1
Date 42 - The Exxxtra Sexxxy Halloween Special! 1:46:32

4y ago1:46:32

1:46:32

Happy Halloween! Whether you’re staying in or going out, we have an intoxicating selection of horrors to help keep you company! CW: Mention of genitalia, serial killers, and gun violence. Featuring: SLUTTY DOGS AND THEIR CRIMES; Trick, Treat, or Yeet; Horny for Hell; Movie Corner; Double Stick Knife; Werewolf Snitch; Finland has Stolen the Sun; Whe…

1
Date 41 - The Good, the Gooder, and the Goodest Boys 1:17:57

4y ago1:17:57

1:17:57

Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? These boys are! This week, a pack of dogs from around the world battle for Derek's love, as well as vie for the Good Boy crown. Only one of them can win the heart of Derek, but luckily, they can all share the title of Good Boy. CW: cancer, sex, violence, child death and dog death, cannibalism, incest, torture, an…

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Date 40 - Ragnarok My World 1:36:23

4y ago1:36:23

1:36:23

It's the end of the world, and these monsters are FINE. Derek doesn't want Heaven-Leigh to face the great unknown all alone, so he presents a bevy of dates that are sure to protect her - because they are helping to end the world! Like, wouldn't a benefit of dating the destroyer of all worlds be that you aren't destroyed? RIGHT?! CW: body horror; es…

1
Date 39 - XXX-Files 1:26:33

4y ago1:26:33

1:26:33

Name a more iconic throuple than Scully, Mulder, and the thousands of viewers who desperately wanted them to smooch. But what if the X-Files had taken a different turn? While there is definitely an X-Rated title covering the, ahem, human relations, Heaven-Leigh brings some of the most delicious X-Files monsters to the table. Jimmy Stewart's ghost m…

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