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Roleplay Retcon

Two Fish in a Jug

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Roleplay Retcon remakes the movies that let you down using tabletop roleplaying games (TTRPGS), soundtracks by indie bands, and lots of goofy writers' room jokes. Professional writer Benjamin Gray, Theatre sensei Jensie, and RPG expert/comedian/cinephile Alex invite a new guest, feature a new band, and play a new roleplaying or storytelling game for each bad movie.
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The Cohen Coercion attacks! Dom finally gets behind the wheel as the rest of the League fights off four vehicles with very similar-looking drivers. Holtzmann upgrades her seat. Marty downgrades a tire. Dom snubs someone. Laszlo does some necking. Content Warnings: Profanity, death, violence, gore, blood, sexual innuendo, violence against animals • …
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Time pulls a fast one on the League and they find themselves in a very different Chicago with all-new League leadership. To find Dr. Brown and his time locomotive, they'll have to build their own time machine and track down his kidnappers. Marty invites Laszlo to the jamboree. Holtzmann gets her dream car (almost). Dom is a citizen of the world.Con…
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The League is accosted by Griff Tannen and his gang, transplants from an alternate 2015 where Marty crossed paths with them. Beating them may give the League a clue to who is responsible for Doc Brown's disappearance...Holtzmann expands her business, Marty's got a gun, Dom isn't hurt, and Laszlo eats some empty calories. Content Warnings: Profanity…
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The new League learns of their mission to save the fabric of time from tearing itself apart. But first, they'll need to travel to Chicago to gain magical protection from the ravages of time. Laszlo hateflirts. Dom calls in a favor. Jillian shakes it out. Marty remembers the future. Content Warnings: Profanity, sexual content Featuring Ryan and Laur…
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Across Time and Space, four Extraordinary people are recruited by a mysterious organization for reasons unknown: Legendary wheelman Dominic Toretto, genius paranormal engineer Jillian Holtzmann, actual vampire Laszlo Cravensworth, and time traveler Marty McFly, who will find 2015 is not at all as he remembers... Content Warnings: Profanity, sexual …
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Ryan and Laurel from Flash Fantasy, makers of banger Actual Play Podcasts Rift Walkers and Star Wars: Skeleton Crew, join us to remake Sean Connery's out-with-a-whisper career-ender The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003). By default, we always twist on the original movie's formulas, but this time it's a T-W-I-S-T. Featuring Ryan and Laurel fr…
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Before we get started with our wild twist on The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, get acquainted with our two guest stars: Laurel Myler and DM Ryan of Flash Fantasy! This is episode 1 of a one-shot set in Flash Fantasy's Rift Walkers universe. If you like this (and you will) head back to episode 0 of Rift Walkers, and then check out their Star Wa…
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We remake the infamously expensive Waterworld (1995) with Second City and iO-trained comedian, author, and podcaster James D'Amato and his game Oh Captain, My Captain!, based on Alex Roberts's For the Queen. Is Waterworld better as a jukebox musical that weaves the tale of the movie's beer and podcasting-obssessed villain, The Deacon, and the drama…
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Grant Howitt, the creator of Honey Heist and over 100 other TTRPGs, joins us as we try to keep our remake of Disney's Home on the Range G-rated and put some witch stuff in with Grant's game The Witch is Dead. The latter goes pretty well.Content warnings: Violence, profanity, spiders Grant's company, Rowan, Rook and Deckard, is the place to get The …
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Let's wind down and talk about the good and the bad of The Adventures of Pluto Nash, both the original movie and our version. We also cast our characters and reveal our next movie remakes! Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Moonpunk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ by Wannabe Games! Sound effec…
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Leroy struggles to save the refugees from the Dark Side after crash-landing their getaway ship. Meanwhile, Pluto and Tracy make a plan to hijack the Corpos' concert and expose their conspiracy against Graceland.Content warnings: Violence, profanity Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're pl…
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Ben and Jensie play It Takes This Long, a Roleplay Retcon original TTRPG, to remake the 1998 Harrison Ford/Anne Heche desert island adventure Six Days, Seven Nights. While not a horrible film, it was on the meh side and would be much better as the tale of estranged cousins/teleporter scientists who find themselves battling pirates after an unfortun…
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Zoom Baby's secret identity sends Pluto into a fit, plus he receives an offer he can't refuse. Meanwhile, Leroy continues his liberation of the Dark Side with a little inspiration from his new friend Tracy. Content warnings: Violence, death, profanity, sexual content Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠No More K…
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Traitors reveal themselves and tear down Pluto and Tracy's plans for a concert at NashVegas. Leroy awakens in a strange and terrifying place far away from Graceland. Content warnings: Violence, profanity Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠Moonpunk⁠⁠⁠⁠ by Wannabe Games! Back Ben…
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Pluto does his best to patch Tracy up before they return to Baskins to warn her about what they just survived and to see if they can recruit help for their Rebellion Concert. Meanwhile, Leroy meets a little prick at NashVegas. Content warnings: Violence, profanity Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠! …
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A mysterious paramilitary force seems hell-bent on rounding up the mutants in Slimothy Jimothy's. Tracy starts a revolution. Leroy tries a new poultry dish. Pluto shows off his ride.Content warnings: Violence Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠⁠Moonpunk⁠⁠⁠ by Wannabe Games! Sound eff…
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Pluto, Leroy, and Tracy break into Loss Prevention squad leader Jo Malone's apartment, where things take a turn none of them could have imagined. Content warnings: Violence Featuring Kendrick Smith of ⁠⁠Tales Yet Told⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠No More Kings⁠⁠! We're playing ⁠⁠Moonpunk⁠⁠ by Wannabe Games! Sound effects by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠freesound.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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Mr. B learns a few things at claw-point about the suits that busted up Nashvegas, but not as much as Nash would like. Tracy joins the pair in their quest for answers as they turn to fellow entrepreneur Baskins of Baskins Trashbins, known for their generous portions of fries. Nash won't like the answers here, either. Content warnings: Violence Featu…
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Life is hard in Graceland, a city-state on the moon with no official laws. Nashvegas, Pluto Nash's combination live music venue/bowling alley/casino/bar and grill, makes life a little easier. Nash and his bouncer, the spectacular mutant cat-man Leroy "Mr. B" Brown, are living the good life until Tracy, the ex-love of Nash's life, walks through Nash…
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The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002), starring Eddie Murphy, is on Wikipedia's list of the top ten biggest box office flops ever. But our guest star-- TTRPG Renaissance Person Kendrick Smith-- ranks it in their top ten sci fi films. In this episode we'll hash that out, plus go over Moonpunk by Wannabe Games, the game we're using to remake Pluto Nash…
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Senior employee space case Stew, new hire and lifelong nerd Dash Starkiller, and the sensitive part timer Rose are all looking for the store's cat, which is missing on the most important day of the year, the day a minor celebrity comes to Empire Records and boosts their sales. That celebrity is Denise Leary, a formerly famous singer songwriter who …
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We play the game we were born to play: Damn the Man, Save the Music by Hannah Shaffer, a game based on notorious flop Empire Records (1995). Sorry if you're one of the cult fans of this movie, but hopefully you'll like this one, too! We're joined by one of our favorite musicians, Pete Mitchell of No More Kings! Starring Pete Mitchell of No More Kin…
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In the finale of our remake of Steven King's Maximum Overdrive (1986), Nickels reveals a devastating secret, Jeremy reveals an unbelievable secret, and Matthew reveals he played a cartoon lion in a movie. Content warnings: Descriptions of death and gore, sexual content Starring ⁠⁠Persephone Valentine⁠⁠! Soundtrack by ⁠⁠Jonny and the Black Frames⁠⁠!…
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Hey, I think these machines are trying to kill us! In episode 2 of our remake of Steven King's Maximum Overdrive (1986), Nickels finds some long-lost family (maybe), Matthew reveals his scandalous profession, Jeremy's hips tell the truth, and Ben is right about what kind of vehicle the Ghostbusters car is, which is not important to the story, but I…
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For Spooky Month, we're remaking Steven King's Maximum Overdrive (1986), a movie so bad even King disowns it! And he directed it! Persephone Valentine, a.k.a. Persephiroth, of Dimension 20 and Um, Actually fame is joining us as we play Grant Howitt's "We That Remain," a game about revealing secrets while holing up and surviving "Them." Content warn…
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In the finale of our remake of Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002), The eponymous characters grow closer, only for a rift to form between them when the terrifying reality of the mysterious orb reveals itself. There is also a lot of nervous giggling. Featuring ⁠Alex Roberts⁠ and her game ⁠Star Crossed⁠! We're playing new rules for online play that will…
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Ballistic: Ecks Vs. Sever (2002) is infamous for being the worst reviewed movie in Rotten Tomatoes history. Pretty much anything would improve it, but we're going to focus on adding some romantic tension! Jensie teams up with master game designer Alex Roberts to play her game Star Crossed, which is about people who want to kiss, but shouldn't becau…
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The end of this MillerFrankin' movie! The Spirit solves the case, all on his own, with no help from anyone while Sand Serif searches for her McGuffin, and Dr. Cobra makes an important scientific discovery that nobody cares about. Content warnings: gun violence, sexual content, mental illness. We're playing Noirlandia by Evan Rowland of ⁠⁠⁠Turtlebun…
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The badge found on Sand Saref's traitorous henchman leads The Spirit to the hospital wing of the Splooge, Central City's district-spanning waterpark. Meanwhile, Dr. Cobra confronts fellow villain Thurgood Cornwallis about his nefarious dulling devices, and Sand dance battles her way to buried treasure. Content warnings: knife violence, sexual conte…
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Friends, we have so much recorded, but unfortunately none of it is The Spirit, so this week we're hosting an episode of Tales Yet Told, an actual play podcast GMed by our new friend Kendo, who will play the eponymous character in our upcoming remake of The Adventures of Pluto Nash! Tales Yet Told is an Award-Winning, Indie TTRPG actual play podcast…
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We're remaking Frank Miller's cinematic take on Will Eisner's The Spirit, which got buried by critics and lost tens of millions of dollars at the box office. The Spirit's nemesis, The Octopus, is believed to be dead, and The Spirit wants to know if it's true and if it is, who did it and how. Meanwhile, The Spirit's number 2 baddie, Dr. Cobra, is co…
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We're remaking Frank Miller's cinematic take on Will Eisner's The Spirit, which got buried by critics and lost tens of millions of dollars at the box office. But like the eponymous character, it rises from its grave in Wildwood Cemetery with new purpose! In this episode, we create our version of Central City using the worldbuilding and character cr…
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It's time to throw our own masquerade ball with dragon costumes and tapas. How did we do? Did we do this story justice, or did we fall short like every movie adaptation of Phantom of the Opera has? We also talk about Kids on Bikes and say a sad goodbye to Remick. Guest starring ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Remick⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! Listen to her on the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Abstract Adventures podca…
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Raoul, Meg, and Daroga descend into the guts of the Opera Garnier to rescue Christine, who faces a terrifying ultimatum from Erik. | Guest starring ⁠⁠⁠⁠Remick⁠⁠⁠⁠! Listen to her on the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Abstract Adventures podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, watch her on ⁠⁠⁠Rolls Revamped⁠⁠⁠, and check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠her games⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! | Playing ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Kids on Bikes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ by Jon Gilmour a…
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It's chaos in the Opera Garnier-- Christine, Daroga, and Raoul must fight a stampede of panicking patrons to stay together. But the phantom thrives on distraction and chaos, and Christine wonders if her angel of music is so angelic after all... Daroga finally talks about himself. Christine makes a new friend(?). Raoul is not safe with guns. Guest s…
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Opera Garnier's new managers are hoping the annual Masquerade will combat the bad vibes from all the recent disasters. Christine encounters the cutting edge of the service industry. Raoul heckles a diva. Daroga takes a nap. | Guest starring ⁠⁠⁠Remick⁠⁠⁠! Listen to her on the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Abstract Adventures podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, watch her on ⁠⁠Rolls Revamped⁠⁠, an…
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The dust has barely settled from the terrifying chandelier incident. Daroga is determined to make the Phantom answer for it. Meanwhile, Raoul and Christine escape to the safety of the Chagny estate, where they do whatever people who are catching feelings do. Raoul conjures an illusory peacock. Christine does not know how to make the horses go. Daro…
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Hey, guess what. Someone dies in this episode. Christine tames a dragon or two. Raoul takes flight. Daroga's in charge. Guest starring ⁠Remick⁠! Listen to her on the ⁠⁠⁠Abstract Adventures podcast⁠⁠⁠ out and check out ⁠⁠⁠her games⁠⁠⁠! | Playing ⁠⁠⁠Kids on Bikes⁠⁠⁠ by Jon Gilmour and Doug Levandowski! | Soundtrack by ⁠⁠⁠Keygen Church⁠⁠⁠! | Sound eff…
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Daroga finds himself in the very extra clutches of the Phantom, and his only hope for escape may be his personal Hell-- talking it out. Meanwhile, Raoul has a good news/bad news kind of day when he finds the perfect outfit in the labyrinthine hallways of the Opera Garnier... only to have his heart broken again. Christine tries to be a theatre kid a…
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Things are getting weird at the Opera Garnier; "Daroga" explores the bizarre underground lake while Raoul and Christine make some tough decisions about their futures. Christine puts a blinger on her finger. Raoul learns the language of the most majestic beast on the Earth. Daroga makes a house call. | Guest starring Remick! Listen to her on the ⁠Ab…
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How about a date? Christine breaks a promise. Raoul decides on a reasonable number of horse-drawn chariots. The Patron makes contact. Guest starring Remick! Listen to her on the Abstract Adventures podcast out and check out her games! | Playing Kids on Bikes by Jon Gilmour and Doug Levandowski! | Soundtrack by Keygen Church! | Sound effects by free…
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Look, frankly, not a lot happens this episode until this one thing, and the one thing is A LOT. Raoul treats himself to a spa day. The Patron does some grilling. Christine discovers something tragic or happy, depending on who you ask. Guest starring Remick! Listen to her on the Abstract Adventures podcast out and check out her games! | Playing Kids…
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If you play a TTRPG with Jensie, you will end up roleplaying a fancy dinner party 100 percent of the time. Christine isn't here, man. Raoul is vexed by this closet. The Patron is... vexed by the same closet. Guest starring Remick! Listen to her on the Abstract Adventures podcast out and check out her games! | Playing Kids on Bikes by Jon Gilmour an…
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Christine belts a practically divine solo, only to be pummeled by her newly-adoring public. Raoul to the rescue! Meanwhile, the mysterious Box 6 Patron uses the commotion as cover to look for clues in Box 5... Guest starring Remick! Listen to her on the Abstract Adventures podcast out and check out her games! | Remick also performs "Moon River" in …
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Hey, we're featuring a few episodes of Tales from the Cryptid on Roleplay Retcon's feed, hosted by investigative journalist Gaston Leroux (who sounds a lot like Jensie, haha what a kooky coincidence). Leroux has proof of what happened at the Opera Garnier in Paris in 1992, and the real story is wilder than anything you think you know about it. Gues…
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Phantom of the Opera will be back next episode, but for now let's make a Holiday special! You know, the ones that flood TV this time of year and are all about Santa and reindeer and dentists and such. For ours, we'll be playing Alex Roberts' And to All a Good Night, an adaptation of her storytelling game For the Queen that helps us process our weir…
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Frankly, there hasn't been a good film adaptation Gaston Leroux's early 20th century novel Le Fantôme de l'Opéra, a.k.a. The Phantom of the Opera. Andrew Lloyd Weber's musical is good, but it's also a far walk from the original book, which is an absolute banger and hilarious to boot (and the 2004 Joel Schumacher movie was panned by both critics and…
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There's something wrong with Abraham Lincoln, and the toys must rally the rest of their army to liberate the charging station before they power down forever. They're hoping to do so without plastic-shed, but this is war, after all... Guest starring Jess Geyer from Wannabe Games! And we're playing their game, Some Assembly Required! Soundtrack by Jo…
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Jess from Wannabe Games made a one-page RPG for us to remake the 1998 film Small Soldiers with*! Deitysaurus Flex, My Little Kitty, and Serpentina (a.k.a. Battle Princess Gorgana) are a new kind of "smart toy" that can "play back." But when the kids got to bed and it's time for them to get to their recharging and repair station, they find one of th…
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We made 100 episodes of Roleplay Retcon! Whoa! To celebrate, we performed a live Retcon in our Discord server of Disney's The Country Bears, a doomed attempt to repeat the success of Pirates of the Caribbean by making another movie based on a Disney park attraction. We play Honey Heist by Grant Howitt and attempt to form the greatest (non-human) co…
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