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Time to Lean

Laura Danger and Crystal Britt

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Laura Danger and Crystal Britt tackle your household messes! Time to Lean is full of unsolicited advice to tiktokers and reality tv couples, write-in questions and interviews! Send in an anonymous question and we'll chat about it!Laura, @thatdarnchat, is an educator and advocate. Crystal Britt, @itscrystalbritt, is a coach and licensed therapist in California. Find us on IG and Patreon @ timetoleanpod Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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In this week's episode, we discuss the challenges of packing! Why do we pack what we pack? What goes into the process, and why? Packing is a task that's full to the brim with care, consideration, and preparation. A well-planned, well-packed trip means everyone has a better time. Referenced in the episode: Multitool Bluey Episode: The Pool Outside M…
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Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator, joins Laura and Crystal to talk about the nuances surrounding screens. A video recently went viral on Tiktok where a creator made some serious claims about the harms of screens. Ash chats with us about how you can set boundaries around screens, how screens can be tools and who's really to blame for the significant ro…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener question. She had a friend to visit for a few days and it ended very poorly. What is she supposed to do if she's dying for connection and the way she's getting those needs met are making him a bit miserable? Get ad-free episodes and join the conversation over on Patreon! ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal dive into executive function, anxiety spirals and the complicated space of trying to emotionally regulate as a parent with your emotionally dysregulated kids. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have a domestic dilemma or quest…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the speech Kansas City Chiefs kicker, Harrison Butker, gave at a Catholic university's commencement ceremony. In it, he states that women have been "diabolically lied to," and we agree, but not in the way you think. You can read the full text of Butker's speech here! Listen to Black Disability Politics her…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk about "Boy Room", a show by Rachel Coster. It's an Instagram series that explores the messy and often disturbing world of boy bedrooms in New York City. Comedian Rachel Coster interviews men in their 20s and 30s about their messy living spaces. The rooms are filled with clutter, trash, and filth. The videos h…
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In this episode, we hear a clip from a podcast where a man VERY PROUDLY explains that he only changes diapers if he's in a good mood, doesn't wake up with the babies during the night and acts like a child. We talk about the importance of reciprocity and the value of care. Fill out our feedback form here! Here's the video of the podcast we play on t…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the mental load of parenting and the learning that is often assumed by partners socialized as female. We also talk community building through gardening, and, of course, neurodivergence! ⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have …
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In this week's episode, we look at an AITA where someone's caught in a sticky friendship/family situation chock full of emotional labor. We talk about friendship, family, communication and empathy and all of the nuance that exists in our relationships. Read the AITA here! ⁠Join our Patreon!⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠…
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Laura and Crystal discuss submissions from our audience concerning loss of identity through self-sacrificing. Can we serve others, enjoy it, without sacrificing or losing who we are?Mentioned in this episode: Financial Abuse ResourcesFresh Starts Registry Mikki Kendall ⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠…
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Crystal and Laura discuss a viral article from The Cut titled 'The Case for Marrying an Older Man'. The article argues that marrying an older man provides women with ease, flexibility, and liberation from the burdens of womanhood. Is that what's it doing?Mentioned in this episode:Rose Hackman's article, I was 14. He was 22. If it wasn't grooming, w…
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In this episode, we discuss a listener's email--she wants to know what to do if her partner is on board but, because of his ADHD, isn't able to follow through. We also touch on our own examples of how each of our neurodivergence shows up in our partnerships--how can we take responsibility for our actions and behaviors while also balancing disabilit…
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In this episode, we discuss common commentary along the lines of, "I'm not sure why you're so upset! I do what you ask. I never make demands of you. I'm fine, so it kind of seems like you're maybe just mad... to be mad." Oh, and the ole' "You're no fun anymore." EEk! Mentioned in this episode: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2020/02/if-yo…
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By popular demand, Laura and Crystal review Love is Blind, season 6! Just in time for the finale, get all the hot takes on the newest season! ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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Laura and Crystal discuss a comment left on Instagram--what happens when a partner insists on doing something in the house the "right" way? How do you tell if it's for a bigger reason than preference? Listen to find out! ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a viral video, separation anxiety, and the existential crisis that is the internet. Join us in the fray! Mentioned in this episode: Danielle Bayard Jackson Ashley Simpo ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have…
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Laura and Crystal discuss a listener's question that we hear all. the. time. "if my partner is better than they used to be, shouldn't I just be grateful?" ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Sp…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the reality show 'Welcome to Plathville' and the recent divorce of Olivia and Ethan Plath. They explore the high-control environment and fundamentalist Christianity portrayed in the show, as well as the impact of coercive control and gender roles on their relationship. The conversation delves into the impo…
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In this episode, Laura interviews Crystal about the Love Languages episode (yes, we're still talking about it!) And they also discuss how "checklist advice" hurts men more than women. Mentioned in this episode: Man Discovers Wife's Journals After Her Death All About Love by bell hooks ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read …
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In this episode, Crystal and Michael Vaughn (@world.shaker) discuss the Five Love Languages, and how it has the potential to damage your relationship! Find Michael at beacons.ai/worldshaker Mentioned in this episode: I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples Sp…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a WILD answer to a question on an old episode of Family Feud. Why isn't it funny? Mentioned in this episode: Emotional Labor Workshop Recording and Resource with Rose Hackman ShiShi Rose on IG Teaching To Transgress by bell hooks ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Cry…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a viral video when a partner asked her husband to do ONE THING--and he couldn't do it right. What do you do when you ask for help and are let down? Mentioned in this episode: The Most Hated Man On The Internet Documentary (CONTENT WARNINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE HERE GUYS) ⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find us on Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ D…
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In this week's episode, we talk about the pillars of the "Man Box", discuss a viral prank and cover the topic of "situational hostages". Have you ever been put into a position where you have to suppress your own discomfort in order to keep safe? In this episode, we reference an event we hosted with Rose Hackman, author of Emotional Labor. You can a…
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In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura take a listener question. If you've been lying about getting gifts from your spouse for years, at what point do you stop? Your kids probably know by now, right? Maybe? What would YOU do? Some things mentioned in this episode: Sophie Lucido Johnson Rachal Duggan Ryan Duggan Chi Nwosu You can find resources f…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss Oldest Daughter Syndrome, enmeshment, boundaries and Mama's Boys. As a reminder, information presented in this podcast is NOT a replacement for individualized mental health treatment! Thanks to our sponsor for this episode, SmartLabels! Find them here! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotif…
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**TW: Domestic violence and sexual assault In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura talk about Matt Rife's now-famous domestic violence joke from his Netflix special and provide an example of an how a comedian can make a joke about something challenging and do it well. We also discuss the phenomenon of the missing stair! STICK AROUND UNTIL THE END…
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Educator Laura Danger and therapist Crystal Britt tackle your household messes. We provide unsolicited advice to tiktokers and reality tv couples and answer anonymous calls and questions from listeners like you! Send in an anonymous question and we'll propose solutions. Send in your questions! Follow us on IG! Download resources and read more from …
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In this week's episode, Crystal and Laura take a caller question about ADHD, executive function and standards. They also chat about "sad dad apartments" and share a few resources like their holiday toolkit and Crystal's Fair Play for Neurodivergent Couples Workshop!Referenced in this episode:Miserable Shrew shirtKarl Havoc from I Think You Should L…
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We can't wait for you to listen to this one--are you obligated to have sex with a partner, just because they're your partner? In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk about the nuances of consent, pillars of safe sex, and bodily autonomy.Referenced in this episode:Red Flags of Abuse From NNEDV Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura …
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a trending video where a mother-in-law takes over when the wife is away! They also talk about the self-loathing trap when everyone and everyone encourages you to "just be grateful" for what you've got, even when you notice there might be some room for improvement. To watch the trending video referenced:…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal share a clip that celebrates all of the things working mothers do and share an email from a follower. The topic: my life is different, but theirs is the same as it always has been. A link to the video from the episode! Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠here⁠! Have a domestic dilemma or quest…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal take a listener message and discuss what happens when a partner isn't interested in your hobby. We talk about different types of problems in relationships, as well as personal examples of these problems in our own lives. You can find the Gottman article discussed: Here! Here's Shar Henley's video! Download resourc…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss two articles that are VERY different in the way they talk about men and women and childcare (or lack there of). Don't forget to rate and subscribe wherever you listen! Resources from this Episode: National Domestic Workers Alliance Chamber of Mothers Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura …
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal take a listener message and share a viral video. The topic: what's the deal with some people having access to rest and others not? Is it fair that one person can step away and the world falls apart and the same isn't true for the other? You can find the viral video discussed: Here! Download resources and read more…
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In this week's episode, Laura tells Crystal all about what happened in a bombshell episode of 90 Day Fiance, The Last Resort. Have you ever made a decision you've kept from a partner? What happened when they found out? Videos from this episode: Yara's video here and Jovi's video here! You can watch clips of The Last Resort here! Download resources …
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Laura and Crystal talk about hiding out in the bathroom! They do a bit of over-sharing but in the name of discussing the old trope that dads are always hiding out in the bathroom. They also talk about the value of equal autonomous time and the benefits of identity outside of your roles. "While Daddy Was Pooping" book Research from Pebble Grey Have …
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This week, Crystal and Laura take a question from a listener who is wondering how to keep herself afloat because her partner isn't interested in changing. Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetoleanp…
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Laura & Crystal discuss a listener's question, where her FATHER-IN-LAW suggests her kids need her to work less...but she and her husband split work evenly. What now? Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on This Episode Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠here⁠! Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpip…
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Why are we obsessed with divorce? And why did dresses not have pockets until recently?! These answers and more on this week's episode with guest Olivia Dreizen, CEO of Fresh Starts Registry. Resources Mentioned: Fresh Starts Registry Follow Olivia Dreizen on IG Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message …
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A listener writes in to ask if there's any other recourse when her partner will only take on domestic labor if his family is watching 👀 Resources Mentioned: Pierre Fleury on IG Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR DM us on IG @timetolean…
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How do we feel about wife strikes? How do we feel about shaming partners on the internet? All your burning questions answered in this episode! Resources Mentioned: Cindy Ditiberio's Post Post-Partnership Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.speakpipe.com/timetolean⁠⁠⁠⁠…
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We're so excited to welcome Raena Boston to the podcast! This episode has everything--gentrification, capitalism, racism, unpaid maternity leave that leads to paid paternity leave, and the scam of having it all. Resources Mentioned: Raena Boston - The Working Momtras Chamber of Mothers Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or ques…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a voicemail submitted by a male listener--who says he never considered that caregiving work could be a skill that could be practiced and learned. Is it worth learning? Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe! ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a TikTok that recently went viral--over paper plates versus real dinner plates. Is making the little decisions something we should "JUST GET OVER" or is there an opportunity for connection there? Resources Mentioned: Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on…
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Have you ever heard or had a partner tell you directly, "Well if you hate taking care of the kids so much, why don't YOU work and I'LL stay home and relax?" Laura Danger and Crystal Britt discuss this zero-sum fallacy and what it means for BOTH partners to have buy in to a life you're building together--and how you BOTH get something out of that. R…
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HEY MAMA! Join Crystal and Laura in this episode to talk about the dark recesses of the internet known as Mommy FB Groups to touch on the inequity of educating parents on...parenting. Mentioned in this Episode: Kier Gainess on IG Dr. Becky on IG Michael Vaughn Episode Books Mentioned on This Episode Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a m…
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In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener-submitted question: She wonders if, after being the default partner for 20 years, her husband is justified in complaining that their proposed housework split isn't 50/50? What do you think? Resources/Sources Mentioned in this episode: Laura's Free Home Cleaning Checklist Gottman Institute (Coupl…
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal continue their conversation around Amazon Prime Video's "Shiny Happy People" documentary mini-series which focuses on the Duggars and the way The Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) turned a TLC show into ministry. TW: religious trauma and abuse Resources/Sources Mentioned in this episode: All About Love by …
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In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk with Kate Adelle, a single mom, about the concept of "married single mothers." In response to a recent IG story shared by Crystal, Kate talks about how she has been impacted by single motherhood, how she experineced motherhood from within a marriage relationship, and how lack of systemic policy protection and…
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In this episode, Laura and Cyrstal talk about what it means to seek hope when your core understandings are disrupted. We talk about the Shiny Happy People documentary mini-series which focuses on the Duggars and the way The Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) turned a TLC show into ministry. TW: religious trauma and abuse Have a domestic dile…
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