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Pork Fried Dice is an actual-play Dungeons and Dragons podcast where we try to tell a compelling story, but have fun doing it. That is to say, we take the story seriously, but we don’t take ourselves too seriously. Our goal is to have a show where our listeners feel like they are at the table with us. We are a roleplay-heavy podcast, because we like character interaction, but we’re also a group of people that make crude jokes, anachronistic references, and godawful (or clever, if you’re into ...
 
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I'm typing this right before I release the episode, as I wasn't able to get it done last night having stayed up way too late recording an episode of Everwood, Neverwouldn't! It's weird to know that as soon as I hit "Publish Episode", millions of people can (and almost definitely will) read these words. And then they'll flood our community Discord a…
 
Episosde Description Reader Task Alert! Episosde Description Reader Task Alert! EDRTA! EDRTA! It's back to school time, and this week's task is all about education. Head on over to the community Discord and tell us what your favourite subject in school/uni is or was. Biology? Art? Maths? Let us know. But then also tell us what you think the party m…
 
You've got 10 Episode Description reader tasks this week. 10! Head to our community Discord and give me the answers to the following questions: 1. When did you start listening to Pork Fried Dice? 2. Did you start with Episode 1 or try out the latest episode first? 3. Is there a certain way you'd prefer that we communicate important info (like delay…
 
Well, this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute - just sit right there. I'm gonna tell you how I became the prince of a PFD Discord... ...I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the blimp captain, yo Ool, smell ya later! Looked at my kingdom - I was finally there, to s…
 
For reasons that may or may not become clear (or be already clear depending on when you read this), this week's task is to tell us what your favorite Mario Kart character is! And if you have never played Mario Kart, make up a character that you think is probably in the game! Give us an explanation that Deskartes would be proud of in our community D…
 
Summer's here! Or winter, if you're in the southern hemisphere. I assume. It's completely flip flopped, right? And I guess I didn't even think to address our equatorial listeners. What a *fucking* asshole. Sorry, Dhivehin! Fun fact - according to our podcast host's analytics, Brazil is the most listener-full of all the countries through which the e…
 
So Bo Burnham's new special "Inside" just came out on Netflix, and if you have access to Netflix and it's available in your area, I think you all should see it. That's your task. Easy, right? Feel free to share your experience in our community Discord, which is a much more suitable place to share such a thing than our award-winning* PFD wiki.…
 
So, you'd think that with a week off, I'd have so much time to come up with a delightful task for you, my loyal episode description readers. And as it turns out, you'd be right! Visit our community Discord and submit your ideas for the best PFD bumper sticker. Something you'd be proud to slap on your Gremlin or Nova or Edsel. And for ideas, you can…
 
Nobody plays Super Smash Bros, eh? Well, ok, fine. But everyone MUST play checkers, right? Maybe that will be more appropriate for an Episode Description Readers Task. For this week's task, you need to visit the community Discord and describe what moves a PFD character would have if they got added to the checkers universe. What does their jump look…
 
Super Smash Bros is a Japanese series of crossover fighting video games published by Nintendo, and primarily features characters from various Nintendo franchises. The series was created by Masahiro Sakurai, who has directed every game in the series. The gameplay objective differs from that of traditional fighters in that the aim is to increase dama…
 
Finally, science has found a solution! We can all get vaccinated against novel swirlyvirus (2016-nSwiV)! Thanks, science. Listeners, head on over to the community Discord and tell us all of the side effects you had after getting your SwiV shots. (Can you believe we had to get eight of them?!) And when you're done, the PFD wiki is always waiting for…
 
Ok, so you've had an entire week off, you lazy Episode Description Readers, just vegging out in the community Discord. It's time to get real. Your task this week is to visit our incredible PFD wiki and find a page, any page, that does not have an image. It can be an NPC. It can be a location. It can be an item. It can be a metaphysical construct. Y…
 
I'm so proud of all of you - we had 100% participation on last week's Episode Description Reader task! Congratulations! To celebrate, we're taking a week off from the tasks - sit back, put up your feet, and just hang out in the community Discord as the pressure's off. Hey, use your free time and peruse the amazing PFD wiki!…
 
I've finally come up with the perfect Episode Description Reader task! To complete this task, go to our community Discord and...put nothing. Submit absolutely zero information, and once you do that, task complete! How very nihilistic of me. For more substantive content, please visit our wonderful PFD wiki!…
 
A week off?! How dare we! For those of you not in the know, we just took a week of as a little break, but we're back, baby! Speaking of being in the know, one way to be more in the know is to join us in our community Discord. People chat about the episodes, their lives, and even our wonderful PFD wiki! It's also where you go to submit your response…
 
Haven't we all, at one point or another, found ourselves feeling like a boat stuck in a canal? For this weeks Episode Description Reader Task™, I want you to head over to the community Discord and give us your best description of how you think the PFD crew would handle the task of dislodginng a vessel wedged firmly in placeacross an important shipp…
 
Let’s mix it up a little bit this week. Instead of me presenting you, my loyal episode description readers, with a task, I will instead present you with a kast. That’s right, it’s kast time! …Now I just need to figure out what a “kast” is going to be… hmm… Oh, I know! I can make figuring that out this week’s task! EDRs! Head to our community Discor…
 
Nothing like some good ol’ fashioned mouth harp music to get you in the mood. “In the mood for what, Eric?” Well, I COULD tell you, but I think instead that this sounds like a great idea for this week’s episode description reader task. Head on over to the PFD Discord and let us know for what exactly the lovely mouth harp gets you in the mood. If yo…
 
Who doesn't love The Muppets? I know I do! Have you ever wondered how great it would be if they were actually real? No need, because they are - don't you dare tell me otherwise! This week's episode description reader task is another photo-based mission. Visit our community Discord and post a photo of the spot in or near your home that is the most l…
 
March is here, and as we all know, John Philip Sousa is the March King. For this week's episode description reader task, you need to head to our community Discord and tell us what months the Pork Fried Dice characters would be king of. JPS already has March locked down, but the other 11 are up for grabs. Who's taking September?! I can't wait to fin…
 
Sometimes a great lunch is all you need to brighten up your day. What would be your perfect lunch right now? It could be a meal at your favorite restaurant, or maybe something you whip up in the kitchen. Your task this week is to visit our community Discord and tell me exactly what would go into said perfect personal luncheon. And for a record of a…
 
Well, episode description readers, it's about 5pm on Sunday afternoon - the sun has set and the light is fading from the cold January sky. The episode file is exporting to my external hard drive, and I'm about to upload it to our hosting service. Since I have a free moment, I'll take this time to let you know that my upper back is kinda sore. Not t…
 
Well, today's date gives me nothing to work with - it's not a holiday, it's not a new year, it isn't a PFD anniversary. What the fuck, calendar? I think I need to see other date managing systems. The Aztec calendar is pretty hot...mmm, check out that xiuhpōhualli - though if I'm honest, I'm more of a tōnalpōhualli man myself. Also, January sucks. J…
 
And we've done it, good people of Earth (and beyond - we're broadcasting this podcast into space! [Or would it be podcasting this broadcast into space? Or maybe spacecasting this broadcast into pod? Yeah, probably that one.])! It's our fourth anniversary! Woo hoo! So what's the traditional fourth anniversary gift? Apparently in the United States it…
 
A new year is almost upon us, dear Episode Description Readers, a time for reflecting on the past as well as looking ahead towards the future. For your task this week, let us know at our electronic bolthole (https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW) what you're looking forward to in the upcoming year - bonus points if it's PFD related!…
 
As of the writing of this episode description, there are only 5 more sleeps until Christmas, our family's winter holiday of choice. I find myself in the gift-giving spirit, and so am wondering what kind of holiday gifts would you think would best suit our game's characters? I know I'd be too intimidated to try to give Raphina new socks - where woul…
 
Greetings, Episode Description Readers! Things are going gangbusters, both at our secret hideaway at https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW as well as on the excellent Pork Fried Dice wiki at https://pork-fried-dice.fandom.com/wiki/Pork_Fried_Dice_Wiki! This week, it's time for another photographic adventure. Share an image of a piece of furniture in the real …
 
Have you ever looked at a tree and thought, hey, trees are crazy. Look how big they are, and they're just alive and sitting there. No eyes, no ears, no senses at all, but so...present. Have you ever thought that? Well they've thought that about you, and they're out to get you! Hunker down over at https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW and describe your ultimat…
 
Episode 200, you guys! We did it! That's a lot of content. I don't know if I've ever done 200 of anything before. Have you? Tell us something you've done 200 of over at https://discord.gg/FPNQfsW - and hey, if you haven't done 200 of something, tell us something you'd LIKE to do 200 of, ok?By Pork Fried Dice
 
Holy shit - we’ve got some amazing Episode Description Readers out there! If you haven’t yet, please take a look at our quickly developing wiki at pork-fried-dice.fandom.com. It’s mind-blowing the detail and effort being put into the site, and it’s coming along great! And while working on that will continue to be an ongoing task for some time, this…
 
Howdy, EDRs! I’m pleased to report that the Pork Fried Dice wiki is coming along quite smoothly, thanks to your wonderful efforts. In case anyone reading this doesn’t know what I’m talking about, please head over to www.pork-fried-dice.fandom.com and take it all in. Heck, even throw in some wiki editing yourself! Anyway, we still need a task for th…
 
EDRs! I have another task for you this week! Now this may seem strange, as it may appear to be an actual task instead of some random thing I come up with that has little to no meaning and is largely inane, but don't be alarmed. If you've been in our internet treehouse recently, you'll see that we have the beginnings of a new wiki! That's right - vi…
 
So you're clearly a dedicated Episode Description Reader at this point. That much is clear. But just HOW dedicated? This week, your task is to design a Pork Fried Dice tattoo. Sketch up your best rendition, and share it with us in our hideaway, including where you think it would best go on your body. Also, feel free to guess what NEXT week's task w…
 
Batthwack's the fruit, eh? Oh dear, Episode Description Readers, you know that can only mean one thing. It's time to assign each of your beloved PFD characters a fruit that best represents them. AND BEFORE YOU ASK, yes, tomatoes count. Let us know in our digital sanctum santorum in whatever amount of detail you like - you can just list them off, yo…
 
Last week was a bit of a break for you veteran EDRs. This week, however, it's going to get SUPER TOUGH! I'm going to be as tough as you as I am on my players. Get ready to see the ruthless side of me. I need you to head to HQ and post a photo of your pet(s). If you don't have a pet, then you must post a photo of the pet you'd love to have. And if y…
 
So it's been about two months since the founding of our snobbish, elitist, supercilious faction - can you believe it's been so long? Anyway, I thought it would be a good time to potentially bring more members into the fold. And if you're reading this and have no idea what I'm tallking about, don't worry - you're already eligible. Just visit https:/…
 
It's a new season! The autumnal equinox has arrived here in the northern hemisphere, while our friends in the southern half of the globe are busy celebrating the vernal equinox, which is primariliy focused on lauding the waxy/cheese-like white substance found coating the skin of newborn human babies. I'm also writing as the 2020 Emmy Awards are hap…
 
It's time! Yes it's time! For another Episode Description reader task! I hope you're imagining music behind these words, because that's how I'm writing it! This week, we're going conceptual. For your task, you need to think of what color you would pick for the characters in the show. Feel free to delve into your reasoning if you'd like, but the onl…
 
Howdy, howdy, loyal EDRs! This week's episode comes with a brand spankin' new Pork Fried Dice Ad, straight from the brain of your own KT! As such, your next task deals with our long-standing, intermittent history of advertisements. Can you manage to pick your favorite from our entire back catalog? Choose wisely, as the stakes have never been lower!…
 
Oh, you crazy EDRs. So much great stuff from you guys so far. Hopefully the week off gave you some time to recuperate in preparation for this week's objective. Yes, that's right, it's time for another Episode Description Reader Task! This week, I'd like you to submit a photo of where you most often listen to Pork Fried Dice. Feel free to censor or …
 
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