The more I slog through this life, the more I realize there's nothing protecting any of us. If there are guardian angels, they seem to be out to lunch somewhere when we most need them. Rather than the universe being a big, unified, loving whole, governed by a compassionate force, I've come to the conclusion that the universe is a dumb place of chao…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character is reflecting on how he treated her horribly, but, as far as she knew, he treated his other girlfriends well. Is it cuz she's a horrible person??? Is it????

Here's the momentous event, the break up call (the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4). It's the break up call! The BREAK UP CALL! My office mate was privy to the whole thing. True story.

Here's that song I did yesterday, where I realized the chorus-y part was a plagiarism of one of my other songs. I re-did the chorus, tryin' to aspire for a mood that was better with the rest of the song. Then I added another part at the end. I dunno if that other part at the end is needed, but there it is. Yeah, I'm a little ambivalent about that n…

This is the 2nd song I did today about Linkin Park having a new singer. When I watched them all performing online yesterday, I was uber-impressed with how they sounded. Yay, excitement! Then I cried because I'll always miss Chester, and I'm sad about Rob leavin' the band (but respect his decision).

I did a couple songs today about Linkin Park having a new singer. I'm happy and excited that they're doing new music and stuff; and she's really good, too! Yay! But there's a sadness and a poignancy to the whole thing, since I'm gonna miss Chester and Rob (who decided to leave the band).

My left eyelid has been twitching for a week now. FUCK!!!!!! Make it stop!!!!!!!

Here's another version of a song that I've been trying to improve about the end of the world. I made this version a wee bit repetitious. I'm not sure if I'm happy with it or not. Bleh.

This is either an intro to a song or a rough draft of said song. We'll see how I feel later on. My voice is poopy raspy-ness today, but usually the first performance is the best of any song. I dunno why that is. Anyway, it's a rough idea I got down for a potential song that might evolve into something.…

This is a song about the beginning of a break up call (the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4).

This is another one of those end-of-the-world songs. It's about people deciding to get drunk when the end o' the world comes. Let's get drunk and have a good time while the world falls, and the sun will start to shine through crumbling walls.

This is a song from the point of view of someone who doesn't want to live anymore, but isn't necessarily suicidal. It's called, in the psychology business, "morbid ideation with no suicidal intent or plan." I should say...if you are suicidal, 988 is the number to call if you wanna talk to someone; and if you're a Veteran, it's 988, and then you pre…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4; the main character decides to drive to school to do the break-up phone call with her boyfriend, so she won't end up associating her living room with the traumatic memory of a break-up call. She discovers that her office-mate is there, in the room where she's gonna do the break-up ca…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4; the girl and her horrible boyfriend have a fight, and at the end, he sez they should wait 4 days before they talk next, I guess to cool down or whatever. Upon hanging up, she realizes she's ready to break up with him, but is all bummed out about having to wait 4 days to do it.…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album. The girl gets back from visiting her mean, controlling boyfriend, and they have a fight on the phone a week or so later.

This song came to me in a dream last night. It's, literally, about dropping the ball, as in, messing up.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album. Part 4. The girl finally decides that she's ready to break up with her mean boyfriend, and she's talking to him in her mind, sort of.

Here's the second version of the song I did last night; okay, I'm feelin' better about this one than last night's version. Just to recap, one day, a few months ago, I was driving around and I saw this purple SUV, and the back end was sorta blorpy. It was a purple SUV with a bubble butt! It sounded like a nice thing to do a song about, so that's wha…

Yeah, I might actually sorta re-work this song and stuff. Here's a really rough, rough, rough draft of it with a re-worked verse that's a little bit more poetical and stuff. Just imagine this with all the keyboards and rapping and bells and whistles and stuff...and better singing....and at some point (maybe really soon), I'll get this song fixed up…

A few months ago, I was driving around and I saw this purple SUV, and the back end was sort of blorping out. It had a blorpy back end. I thought to myself, "That's a purple SUV with a bubble-butt." That was the inspiration for this here song. But my voice sounds like ass today; it sound like my voice wiped someone's ass with sand paper. So, if I de…

This is a song about what it feels like to have a hangover; in recording this little number, I attempted to make the song sound like how a hangover feels.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. After the girl finds out she gets into a play, unbeknownst to her mean boyfriend, she hears his voice behind her, reading the subject line of the email ("Summer Theater"). She's all, oh, no, now he knows!

An idea for a song came to me in a dream about a weird double-entendre sort of thing. A hammerhead is a type of weird shark, and maybe, the term "hammerhead" could mean someone who gets hammered all the time. So, this song is about a shark that gets hammered all the time.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. Remember a few songs back about how the main character auditioned for a play? This is the song that talks about the outcome of that audition.

Here's a song about how I've been mainly motivated to write about death and existential issues and stuff these days. I guess it's kind of a statement of the obvious, given my recent track record.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album #4. The main character gets in trouble with her boyfriend, this time around, for staying up late cuz she has jet lag. That's when she snaps. All at once, she makes the realization of how stupid this whole situation is, havin' a boyfriend, who acts like he's got all this authority over her, a…

Okay, yes. Yes, indeed. If you've been following this podcast, then you're probably familiar with the Fucked Up Relationship Album. This is the book upon which said album is based. Indeed, if you've been following said Fucked Up Relationship Album, then you'll have seen excerpts from this wee little book. Here's the description on the back of the b…

This is the song I wrote in real life after the events depicted in the song I posted just now about the weed pulling and getting all un-depressed and stuff. It's like, all this new music came to me on that spring day, back in 2001, after my soul came back to me. Yeah, I went ahead and wrote and recorded this little ditty after the weed pulling and …

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. In this one, the main character goes to her folks' house for spring break, and for whatever reason, a miracle happens. She's sitting in the sun, pulling weeds with her mom, and they're just talking about regular stuff, including how fucked up the fucked up relationship is. Something…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character is working on her dissertation proposal, or I should say, she wants to work on it. It's due the next day. But her poopy boyfriend is keeping her on the phone, talking her ear off about boring stuff. She comes up with an idea she wants to get down, and she starts t…

This is a true story, and the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. It as the night before my dissertation proposal was due. I was workin' on it and thought I'd talk to mean controlling boyfriend dude for just a few minutes. Y'know. A goodnight call and all that. And he proceeded to talk my ear off.…

Here's the 5000th song about death. Death's on my mind; what can I say? It's on my mind.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. It's about how when I auditioned for that play, I didn't tell my dumb boyfriend about it.

I was in a weird, reverie state last night, when I thought of the idea of conceptualizing the universe as being just one big fire. All the suns, which are hot, hot, hot balls of fire - those suns are the flames and sparkles that make up the giant fire that is the universe. And then, eventually, like all other fires, the giant fire, that is the univ…

This is sorta a reprise of an old song from the way-back machine, with a li'l rap added to it. I'm considering starting a new project (but haven't decided yet). If I do end up starting it, this'll be the little number that kicks it off.

This is another one of those existential songs. I was thinking about how when man is gone, all our buildings and stuff'll sink into the earth. Even art will disappear. Everything'll disappear. Even stuff that most of us would consider to be immortal, like the Mona Lisa, for example, will disappear. It'll all disappear. And, on top of that, every on…

Sorry about the duplicate song. Poopity poop. But I realized the rap I recorded last night was a disaster and I had to revise it. Here's the same song as yesterday (the next fucked up relationship song - about auditioning for a play), but with a new and improved rap-part.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character tells her friend about her depression (which is in response to the impending breakup with the mean boyfriend). Her friend tells her it might be good to do an extracurricular activity and stuff. She tells the main character about a play she was in the previous summ…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The boyfriend tells the main character what he wants her to do after she graduates. She wants her to work for him! He wants to be her boss again!

I decided to take the song from last night and soup it up, just a teeny tiny bit by adding another rap, in order to hold the listeners' interest. Did it hold it? Did it?

Here's the second version of the song I just posted. This one is more church-choir-y sounding than the first one.

This song came to me in a dream the other day. I decided, given the abstract nature of the dream lyrics, I'd make the song abstract, or abstract-ish. I think I sorta know what it's about, but at the same time, it could be about other things cuz it's kinda abstract.

I was writin' in my journal today, and the thought came to me that, every single second of our lives, we are in The Slow Tunnel of Death. From the moment of conception, we're headin' toward our deaths. So, I decided to write wee little ditty about it. Yes, it is not that often that I wrote songs about death. Nope, not that often at all. Nosiree.…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character, in anticipating breaking up with her controlling boyfriend, comes up with a master plan. See, he gave her an ultimatum a few years ago that if she smokes pot, he'll dump her. Now that she wants to break up with him, it'll be easier, to her thinking, cuz rather th…

This is just a wee little demo; I probably won't do much else, music-wise today, cuz I'm doin' social, and all that. There was a girl in a movie years ago, and I think she had Autism Spectrum disorder and she said that thing about "doin' social." That's just so you know I didn't make up that little phrase. I got it from a movie.…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. It is the turning point song, in the sense that the main character, after a year and a half of not smoking weed, due to her boyfriend's prohibitions, decides to say "Fuck It!" and smoke the little teeny tiny nuggets of weed she found in the bottom of the box she used to keep it in.…

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character is feelin' all sentimental about the days when she used to smoke pot, so she goes through the drawer where she used to keep her pot, in search of the little box she used to keep it in.

This is a song about a banjo from outer space that has come to save the planet. Once humans hear it playing, it'll change the vibrational frequencies of their souls. That's a good thing cuz because human spirits are all distorted beyond all recognition, stuck on the wrong frequency. Maybe once said vibrational frequencies get altered, maybe humans …

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character realizes what she said she was missing in the previous song.

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character realizes there's something missing from her life, something that's been missing for a good part of her relationship with her crappy boyfriend. But she can't remember what it is. What is that thing she's missing? What is it?????????????????…