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No Rangers Allowed

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Dungeons 'n Dragons, house ruled to death, as played by weird and weary videogame snobs. Starring a desertwalking Zoroastrian dwarf druid; a backwoods halfling elftaku, master of banjo, jaw harp and double flute; an emo cat-summoning death cleric; and a filthy, feral anarcho-syndicalist barbarian. A Selectbutton Gaiden podcast. Join us at www.selectbutton.net Radical show icon by art subgenius @BachelorSoft
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Explore the Super Nintendo catalog at random with the intrepid Super Nintendo Exploration Squad. Every other week, a rotating crew of SelectButtoneers select a game from the SNES library at random. Afterwards, we discuss it using the four standardized metrics for scoring a video game: Gun, Vanity, Investigation, and Revelation. We dive in deep on games you've never heard of with some of the brightest minds in video game criticism.There are also a healthy amount of digressions and unrelated b ...
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Holy shit it's been a while huh? We talk about Julian Sands, orbs, Julian Sands' hair, telepathic knife fights, the movie Warlock, the movie Warlock 2, Julian Sands' tackle, and Final Fantasy XIV. Oh, and Warlock for the Super Nintendo. I guess. Featuring, in order of alphabetic: Automatic Tigress BachelorSoft Closed Gary Scratchmonkey Shrug Vastle…
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You read that right! It's fucking chuck rock, and we talk about CHUCK FUCKING ROCK. Also: What it's like 50 years in the future, McDonald's 3, Fred (oh god fred), Tim Allen's deleterious effect on the state of psychology, and just...rocks. But mostly we talk about CHUCk. FUCKING. ROCK. It's regrettable. Starring Tigress, Cania, Shrug, Tulpa, OneSec…
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In this episode, we talk about the best way to cut a fish, how fans of the Ninja Five-O games feel about cops, the decrepit faces of professional mahjong players, and something about steel that I could not understand. Oh, and Umihara Kawase Umihara Kawase is a 1994 platforming puzzle game starring a school girl, Umihara Kawase, who must use her fis…
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In this episode, we discuss Cocks, Death Land Island, Cocks, how to be impatient, Cocks, and the explorer's choice game Ladystalker. That explorer being Rudie!! Ladystalker is a spiritual sequel to Landstalker, an isometric RPG...thing. It's kinda cool. Starring in no particular order: Rudie, Gary, Shrug, AutomaticTiger, and hosted by VastleCania…
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In this very low population episode, we discuss how Kamen Rider is just one power ranger, what a gundam is, the best possible way to play bingo, and santa's gambling problem. Oh, and of course Battle Dodgeball. Battle Dodgeball is a dodgeball game...starrring robots and monsters from Kamen Rider, SD Gundam, and something else I can't be bothered to…
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The party learns from a kindly spidermother that the pixies have been horning their way into the wood, jacking up rents and driving out the legacy residents. Honeydew learns that magical root-ink cannot but produce pro-pixie propaganda from his pen. Delving into this tuber dungeon, our heroes vow here as always to defeat the Gentrifier.…
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In this episode, we discuss how to have an 8 person podcast, Frankenstein, shiny suits, Tulpa quitting, JustBreed, Medieval Books, Keno...oh and Wonder Project J. Wonder Project J is a 1994 adventure game/ life simulation game, starring Pino, who is definitely a real boy. Train your android boy Pino to lift weights, read books, and possibly stab pe…
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Our heroes end banditry in the countryside using the traditional method, rousing debate about the working class! With the bandits redirected, the party attends to more pressing matters: learning sick spells, summoning even cooler cats, and getting insanely high. How high? Wake up in the forest surrounded by chittering spider people high.…
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America’s favorite (citation needed) Taiwanese Developed RPG for sega genesis has finally been examined by the Megadrivers. What mysteries are to be found? Will it live up to it’s title, that this is in fact a saga of brave battles? And what does any of this have to do with Campbellian Hole Theories? Listen and all shall be revealed on this this aw…
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This week, we discuss baby cakes, who IS on first, toilet-type battle machines, disastrous minor league mascots, nostalgia, rotational symmetry, and treating humans as a commodity. Oh, and Super Bases Loaded, and also every other baseball game. Super Bases Loaded, or Super Professional Baseball in Japan, is the 5th in the Bases Loaded series. It wa…
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In this episode, we discuss how OnlyFans is getting way too popular, canadian Anime, Camelot's Radical Dreamers Golf, killing your dad, pissing off fans of your most popular work, and getting a crush on a girl who physically abuses you. Oh, and we talk about Radical Dreamers Radical Dreamers is a sort of sequel to Chrono Trigger, and was essentiall…
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Rudie leads the SNExploration Away Team in a dark ritual to summon the ur-Salaryman to destroy the world, and/or edit the podcast going forward. They talk about Snood, wearing shirts, what it means to be a Salaryman, how shogi works, and rosters. And of course,NHL 97 & NHL 98, Thoroughbred Breeder III, Hissatsu Pachinko Collection 2, Shogi Furinkaz…
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It's time! In this episode, we discuss mostly things related to Zelda, including the color brown, the terror of getting stuck in the bottle menu, the adventures of a bully and a ball, bowling with bumpers, and the adventures in a tomato garden. And of course, The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past Starring VastleCania, Automatic Tigress, daphaknee…
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In the newly minted Snexploration Away Team Podcast, our intrepid explorers play a game about explorers that's an interpretation of a movie about explorers...Congo The Movie: The Lost City of Zinj! Which is apparently a first person shooter on the Sega Saturn. They also talk about Michael Crichton's racism, earthquakes, wobbly polygons, Myth and My…
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Celebrate BoM's glorious return with an exploration of the world's largest religion: Star Wars. The megadrivers explore with their usual deep reverevence for something that must be deep and meaningful because it's made literally billions of dollars. Specifically, we play the unfinished Super Star Wars port for Sega Genesis, and ask deep, existentia…
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Sneaking in before the month ends, it’s SHADOW DANCER, THE SECRET OF SHINOBI. The megadrivers enter the future New York of 1997 where the only thing that can stop an army of Ninjas is: Another Ninja with a dog. Topics include: Death Poetry Readings, Butt Techniques, Very Good Boys, Comix Zone, the surprising number of things called Shadow Dancer, U…
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In this Gaiden Episode, it's time to revisit the game that almost destroyed the podcast....but the prequel!! In this Cania-free episode, we discuss fishing hook technology, bones, elite hacking skills, alternative medicine, and the incredibly boring fishing game Tsuri Tarou. Starring: Rudie, AutomaticTiger, Closed, Bachelor, and Shrug.…
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In this very special live episode, we discuss: racism, Final Fantasy 15 as a a Gene Wolfe-like piece of fiction, Rocket League, race wars, Orc Cop, the numbers 56 and 51, racism, Tin-Tin, Dinosaurs (the television show), and racism. Oh, and Street Racer. Starring VastleCania, Tulpa, Cassie, Ymer, Scratchmonkey, Automatic Tiger, Meauxdal, Shrug, Mar…
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Just in time (and by just in time we mean several months late) for the launch of Disney Plus, the Megadrivers explore a movie that’s aged as well as milk: Pocahontas. Disney’s historical revisionism collides with cinematic platforming in a uniquely terrible mix that leaves all of us feeling uncomfortable. Subjects discussed include: The Sapir-Worf …
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The gang returns to literally sleepy Tumford only to face an infestation of g-g-g-g-ghosts! BJ is possessed and the only cure is Honeydew smashing him with a flaming Donghammer. Shrug considers historical diamond dust production. Bald Wendol is faithless towards his cabbages, and then makes a stupid deal with Honeydew that ends up consuming his cha…
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The Book of Megadrive Arrives again with a Halloween SPOOKTACULAR. Instead of playing the game we said we were going to, we decided to make a quick fun Halloween episode that imploded under the weight of the game being too goddamn weird. This is the second attempt. What we thought was a half finished piece of garbage turned out to be a sprawling ma…
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Can you believe it? We're frickin back. In this episode, we talk about fairy wives and how we love them, why dragons don't have arms, horny cannibalism, lettuce demons, and phallic platforming obstacles. Oh, and King of Demon/Majuuou. Starring: AutomaticTiger, Closed, Shrug, Stavekoff, Tulpa and VastleCania. And stay tuned to the very end for a gue…
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In the long-awaited return of Shrug's wield campaign, two lost souls wander around a tower while being manipulated by magical objects. Also the objects are alive and being played by the same people in real life. It's not as confusing as it sounds, I promise. Look forward to extreme beach volleyball against a titan, people turning into dragons, lots…
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Vastlecania gives the Megadrivers their toughest job yet: talking about a very simple arcade game for longer than it would take to play through the dang thing. Fortunately, Bonanza Bros also turns out to be one of the better games we’ve played on the cast so far. This is a breezy episode of heroic crime capers, close calls, and childhood nostalgia.…
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The gang's well-deserved victory lap. Mab the Pieromancer stays behind in now idyllic Chetverg, home to the triple race alliance. Magic items abound. Bartholomew imbibes the light of wisdom. The party prepares to return to home planet Digna. They don't know where they will be or how long it's been, but they know one thing: be excellent to each othe…
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The book of Megadrive opens on Devilish: The Next Possession! Yet another entry in the crowded dark fantasy action adventure breakout/pinball hybrid genre. Yeah, we know, ANOTHER ONE? This game inspired more rage than any other game on the cast so far somehow. In it we discuss male nudity in statuary, etymology of gender in the mandragora, hateful …
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The... Barty Party? Yeah, we gotta work on that -- resolves elf/fish tensions, at both the vulgar and elite levels. Work is completed on an obscene siege float. Captain Cha delivers a rousing speech of comraderie and fraternity, throwing our heroes at a sea of robot elves and their twisted vegan commander. There's only one way this can end: crushed…
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VastleCania was in the woods without phone service, and Somebody (cough rudie cough also tiger) decided to abuse their power and record a podcast about...an NES game???? What the heck. I haven't even listened to this yet so I have no idea what's going to happen. I guess it's about Mission Impossible on the NES, I think Rudie edited it?? I have been…
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The Book of Megadrive opens on the final original installment in Westone’s Wonder Boy series. Fantasy, adventure, conveyor belts, and fat cat-birds abound in this late 16-bit era gem. And you get to play as a girl too! In this episode we discuss: Killer Mike, Fat Bird Cats, Zoroastrianism, The Campbellian Monomyth, Funky Jumping, A Major Improvemen…
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An evening bookended by birds. Three separate huge frickin' birds. In the middle, the party melts plastic materials to find magic items, we find out that the late Haesto was a mangaka, and shrug gets horny for Christopher Meloni. I guess also the gang frees an elf goddess and finds out a huge amount of world-shattering information but that's not as…
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In this episode, we talk about destroying balls, delicious buns, Search Engine Optimization for bathrooms, and neo-piz. Oh, and TaeKwon-Do Taekwondo is a Super Famicom title that was released exclusively in Japan and South Korea in 1994. The game is based around the Korean martial art of Taekwondo, featuring realistic techniques, such as kicking pe…
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The party founds an impromptu clan and picks gamertags in order to play a game with a guy who is definitely not Jokkmokk. The Official Office Space Roleplaying System turns out to be a subtle commentary on eco-gnomics and the basic injustice of wage slavery which is also necromancy. Bernie's full name is Bearnaise Anders. Then there are some proble…
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The signal lit up the sky - a newly discovered prototype SNES game was released! The SNEXploration crew is on the case and ready to fill your earholes with our regular blend of criticism, trivia, and garbage that nobody should ever be subjected to. Atmosfear is a prototype game released in 2019, but developed in 1994, based on the VHS Board Game se…
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In this episode, we discuss Sean Connery as Gandalf, the horniness of wizards, poop, and committing acts of violence. Oh, and Troddlers. Troddlers is best described as Lemmings meets Solomon's Key - guide tiny stupid Troddlers towards the exit by placing and removing blocks of various flavors. It features 100 single player levels and 50 co-op level…
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Anti-illusion haircuts are tough on an edge, so a quest for a whetstone leads our heroes into the kitchen of the skinking club, where BJ finally defeats his hangover with the aid of a magical spring. A harrowing encounter with a staircase leads to a not so harrowing encounter with a giant and not terribly verbal moth. Finally, catching up with an o…
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An old friend delivers a passive-aggressive judgment upon the party's less than perfect ally retention rate. Honeydew handles his snake so expertly it'd make Moses blush. The gang goes down a reliquary K-hole and ends up teaching a hungry beast the meaning of explicit consent, but not before learning how to skink in the traditional halfling fashion…
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In this episode, we discuss the terrible consequences of comic book crossover movies, getting kicked in the balls at a Chick Fil-A, Danny Glover's huge pants, and the true strength of owls. Oh, and Alien vs. Predator. The Alien vs. Predator we're talking about is the first of FOUR video games about predators hunting aliens, although they are all co…
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This week, we discuss Lafcadio Hearn, inventor of Yokai; when a bad game is a good game; pull tabs; baby bodies and buttheads; and 4kids translations. Oh, and Gegege no Kitarou - Fukkatsu! Tenma Daiou Gegege no Kitarou - Fukkatsu! Tenma Daiou is an action platformer starring Kitarou, a ghost who fights other ghosts. It has some interesting features…
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In this premier episode of The Book of Megadrive, our team of radical mega drivers explores a previously uncharted frontier: Sega. Our first intrepid adventure is licensed action game Exo Squad, based on the cult ‘classic’ cartoon of the same name. In this episode we discuss space racism in cartoons for children, Martian labor rights, time crime, b…
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The party considers some bizarre physiologies, starting with a 90's starlet alzabo-Frankenstein and ending with Halfling cloacas. Eventually they stop goofing around and enter the mind palace, which turns out to be completely built out of elves. Allegedly this isn't a sex thing. BJ and Honeydew get completely blasted, thus transmorphing a literal s…
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