Won't you join me, Gerard Armbruster, as every week we take a wrong turn off life's interstate, and discover the straight story about the bend in the road, where nestle the small towns with big characters, to tug on the common thread that unravels the hand-me-down sweater of our national zeitgeist, and extrudes the truths of our lives. Perennial favorite: Postcard from Battersea, with Stetson Tudd.
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Gerard Armbruster and Stetson Tudd are unaware that their phone call has been recorded.
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Contemplating Insomnia After Reading Rudyard Kipling
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Photo by Moreau.henri. Sound effects provided by Freesound Project contributors: laurent, reinsamba, ejazz215, promete, CGEffex. Unbeknownst to the chumps at Extruding America, this has appeared on their website. (IDA Message #44937: Internet Detection Agency)
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The Wallflower 360, a premium received with Gerard Armbruster's workhorse handheld audio recorder, was introduced in the Extruding America episode entitled Preparation for a Journalistically Superior Report, and was described as "a recording device so sensitive it can even record your thoughts and dreams." It promised the ability to "constantly rec…
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Gerard is hungry and sees something out of the corner of his eye.
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Extruding America 35: Marine Park, October 30th, 2009; Report or Poem or Not?
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5:29
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Somewhat amazingly, Gerard Armbruster, beset by what some individuals would consider to be emotional and financial difficulties, continues to work at what some professional broadcasters might consider to be an exhausting pace.
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Extruding America 34: An Open Letter to the World from Battersea, Washington
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Stetson Tudd delivers an open letter to the world from Battersea, Washington.
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Extruding America 33: Gerard in the New Economy
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Has Extruding America returned and is it new and improved and better than ever? We're voting for "returned"!
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Gerard Armbruster and Stetson Tudd are unaware that their phone call has been recorded.
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Rejected Title: Disquietude Introduces Itself to Gerard Armbruster's Comfy Chair
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Unbeknownst to a frustrated Gerard, his activities have been recorded.
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Zowie! Straight out of the heart of Armbruster Recording Studio Enterprises (ARSE) comes this viral dance sensation. Take that, Armbruster! - Robert "Bob" Robertson. Goodnight America! (image © 2004 by Tomasz Sienicki)
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Extruding America 32: The Story of a Lifetime
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Marcus Aurelius was a Roman general. He was not a rhododendron.
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Preparation for a Journalistically Superior Report
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7:55
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Unbeknownst to Gerard, his preparation for a journalistically superior report has been recorded.
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Yet again, Gerard and Stetson are unaware that their phone call has been recorded. (Image: Natxo 68, flickr)
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Extruding America 31: Seize the Moment and Skip It Across the Pond
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14:56
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Gerard Armbruster seizes the moment and Stetson Tudd skips it across the pond. (Illustration: Alfanhui, flickr)
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Gerard Armbruster successfully teams up with Stetson Tudd over the speaker phone.
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Extruding America 29: 1000 Nights and a Night and an Early Evening, minus everything except the Early Evening
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(Rejected Subtitle: 10 Cent Scheherezade)While this may not be an example of journalism or even editorialization, if you're listening to this on a podcatcher or computer equipped with speakers, it is affordable.(dedicated to Paul Yamazaki.)
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A report is filed.
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Is Extruding America’s podcasting host Gerard Armbruster, former host of Happy Trailer Parks To You, What’s Wrong With That Dog? and Out Of My Way, and proud alumnus of The Dwight Bertram Correspondence School of Reporting Technique and Vocal Inflection, becoming slightly unhinged? Let’s find out. (Music cue: Aao Twist Karen by the great R. D. Burm…
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Extruding America 26: Old Dog, Old Dog - Subtitle: The Pit of Hell
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18:15
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Gerard Armbruster has a dream mildly reminiscent of an old radio show. (Music cues from Suspense, broadcast 12/05/46, probably by the great Bernard Herrmann, possibly by Alexander Semmler, Lucien Morawek, or Wilbur Hatch, also composers for the show.)
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Extruding America 25: Peeling Back the Layers to get at the Truth and The 87 Club Volume Two
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19:03
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Gerard gets a clue and it’s adios Stet!The 87 Club Volume Two Roster:A Dark Night’s Passing by Naoya ShigaA Desire to Learn by Eric MoonSoviet but not Russian by William M. MandelThe Road to Wigan Pier by George OrwellThe Soil by Nagatsuka Takashi (translated and with an introduction by Ann Waswo)
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Gerard continues to battle his demons. Stetson goes on a business trip.(Illustration: Tom Sanislo, for the Washington State Dept. of Transportation)
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Gerard smells the smell of fear. Stetson introduces something new.The 87 Club Roster:The Gods Will Have Blood by Anatole FranceHitler's Army by Omer BartovBest Russian Short Stories edited by Thomas Setzer (The District Doctor by Ivan Turgenev)Mountain of Fame by John E. Wills, Jr.Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll…
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A confluence of events puts Gerard's multimedia multitasking mettle to the test. Stet states a truth.
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Extruding America 21: Who is the Fourth W
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With a glorious assist from the Dwight Bertram Correspondence School of Reporting Technique and Vocal Inflection, Gerard Armbruster quells a querulous Stetson Tudd. A magnificent display of the journalistic arts ensues.
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After a brief vacation, Stetson Tudd recalls his brief vacation. Gerard listens. (Image: El Palo Alto, circa 1910)
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The last M-80 is spent. So are Gerard and Stetson.
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Extruding America 18: The Wallingford Chronicles Part Three: Apotheosis
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The odyssey that began with the ringing of a phone ends with the harsh scream of a Sea-Tac bound airliner.
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Extruding America 17: The Wallingford Chronicles Part Two
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The semi-historic meeting of friends Gerard Armbruster and Stetson Tudd proceeds as smoothly as one would imagine. The gigantitude of the immensity of Gerard's personal journey becomes self-evident, to Gerard at least. (Photo: Carmen Dean)
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Extruding America 16: The Wallingford Chronicles Part One
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Terrific news! People and events collude to engender the greatest transformative odyssey of Gerard Armbruster's life. Stetson Tudd rides shotgun.
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Gerard Armbruster wakes up. Stetson Tudd goes for a walk.
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Gerard cranks up a reverie...
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Extruding America 14: Technical Difficulties
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SNAFU begets High Art in this light-hearted romp through the morbid and the unexplained.
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A proud graduate of Dwight Bertram's Correspondence School of Reporting Technique and Vocal Inflection recaptures lost glory with sledgehammer-like precision.
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"When you come to a fork in the road, take it!" - Yogi Berra
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Gerard's investigation into the formation of thought is interrupted by a pop quiz, per doctor's orders. (Image: Flag of Sardinia)
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Once again, Gerard and Stetson are unaware that their phone call has been recorded.
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Gerard introduces the amazing Sound Effects 3000, and Stetson opens a can o’ worms…
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Unbeknownst to Gerard and Stetson, their phone call has been recorded.
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The oaken doors of the Armbruster Recording Studios are thrown open in a pageant of atonement and celebration of a life well lived.
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Gerard conducts an audio tour of the abandoned medieval-themed restaurant The Dark Ages, now the Armbruster Recording Studios, and Stetson concludes his thoughts on Slaughter and Mayhem introduced in the previous episode.
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Extruding America 7: Betrayal and Slaughter
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17:17
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A fuming Gerard is distracted by Stetson's literalist interpretation of the NFL's monstrous mythology.
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Bonus Track: Ma Po Dance Fu (Robert "Bob" Robertson Mix)
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Zowie! Straight out of Hollywood and the heart of Armbruster Recording Studio Enterprises (ARSE) comes this wigged-out sample-crazy underground basement sensation! The Master of Knobs, Robert "Bob" Robertson takes the Ma Po Dofu craze of Episode 2 and turns it into a dance floor riot! (Sampling copyright violation litigation pending)…
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Gerard delves into the darker side of the human appetite for the taboo crop, and a new longform format accidentally evolves when hard-hitting journalism collides with movie gossip and a bedtime story.
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An expedition upon the shadowy sea of Superstition flounders in even deeper, darker waters.
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Gerard and Stetson explore the landscape of memory, ultimately forgetting the way back.
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Extruding America 3: A Very Extruded Christmas
8:48
8:48
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Christmas comes to Battersea, as a storm hits the American Northwest.
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Gerard phones Stetson for his weekly impressions of life in Battersea; Stetson introduces more of the memorable denizens of this hermetically sealed community with an odd culinary detour.
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Won't you join me, Gerard Armbruster, as we search for the heart of a nation in the throats of its people, as they tell the stories that are... Extruding America. This week, our first call to Stetson Tudd for his Postcard from Battersea sets the stage for all that is to come.
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