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Talking Toilets

William Smith & Alex Hope

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Talking Toilets is a new podcast by William Smith and Alex Hope about all things toilet. Need to know the ideal places to go while in public? No doubt! Are you constantly wondering if you have normal lavatorial habits? Of course! Amazed by facts like an average person’s life containing 92 days on the toilet? Us too! Join Will, Alex and guests as they discover the lowest of latrines, the pinnacle of the privvy, and all that sloshes between. Like/Review/Share on iTunes, Spotify & Youtube!
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Childhood. In the final – and sweatiest – episode of Lockdown Season (well, you know, the first Lockdown Season...) our hosts travail relentlessly on their quest to unearth the foulest of jakes. Notwithstanding UK "government" "advice", Will and Alex continue their roles as public servants to explain how to control the virus in cramped, cold and ol…
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DISCLAIMER: If you (like our hosts) currently find yourself weighed down by the events, the dark thoughts and the pains of the times we are living through, this episode may be for another time. The Blue Episode. Will and Alex are going through the motions (a figurative number 7 on the Bristol Stool Chart). Times have changed in that you are now lis…
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Back In Time. Alex and Will aren't just travelling through the Google News pages anymore, no sir-ee! After a socially distant meet up over the weekend, their urge to boldly go where no man has gone before (lockdown) is at an all time high. Next stop – back in time! Take a trip on the T.U.R.D.I.S along with our hosts to hear of the euphemistic origi…
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Around the World. Prepare yourself for some wildly-differing quantities of research as Will and Alex set off on their first international undertaking! First stop is Bath, where our hosts investigate the disappearance of Somerset’s most grandly-educated, pale frankfurter Jacob Rees-Mogg, then Linslade where Alex meets a particularly angry ‘Charlotte…
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Down On Your Luck. If toilets could talk would they spend most of their time with a therapist? Alex's definitely would... Will's reaction to a certain Pizza Express toilet in Kent however could be judged as approach-avoidance conflict by that aforementioned shrink. Listen, this week the conversation turns to Freud, okay? So, if you're wondering why…
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A Shwipe. Back with Khazi-cal quarantine correspondence Will and Alex try out potential, new careers; fire investigators, bidet manufacturers and human rights activists better get their shit together! On the 2020 International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia & Biphobia, toilet news takes to task Oxfordshire County Council and asks (of their obt…
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We are not releasing an episode of Talking Toilets today. In solidarity with protestors worldwide and the Black Lives Matter movement. Instead we ask you use the time you would spend listening to donate, educate or engage in the safest way possible with what's going on in the world. For resources, reading material and ways to donate, please use the…
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From a Byron Burger near Carnaby Street to Nero’s bathroom in the Vatican, a pool party down under to an anaemic Morrison’s in San Fransisco, Talking Toilets really does get about. This week, in the second of our early test episodes, our guest LISA O’CONNOR takes us round her extraordinary travels and tribulations in the toilet-sphere. There’s a fa…
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Miles Parker – Warm Knees. How bursting would you need to be to surmount a cadaver at McDonald's? Was President Trump's obsession with sanitation techniques ahead of 'the curve'? Will our hosts ever be woke-en to what women want from a toilet? Join MILES PARKER, Will and Alex's FIRST EVER GUEST, as he takes to task Talking Toilets and presents his …
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Portaloo Adventure. What's that? Could it be? Is your particularly large skid mark on the side of the pan actually a reptile (or amphibian)? Will and Alex look to unearth the root cause of a spate of recent remarkable saurian home invasions. Here's looking at you Derbyshire! This week it transpires our hosts sit on opposing sides of the 'Asparagus …
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School Toilets. Guess what, Will and Alex are still in lockdown! Join them as they compare hilarious school toilet memories, awkwardly manoeuvre the conversation around what seems bigger when you're younger, and delve into research suggesting current public toilets are adding to a potential resurgence of the unforgiving coronavirus – yay! Talking T…
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Personal Toilet. In the week Boris Johnson went down with coronavirus, William Smith and Alex Hope bring dearly-missed, old-household toilets to the table. They delve into the field of toilet technology, where soon our toilets might be able to know our darkest secrets, and approximations are made as to whether our dear Leader is up to the job. Spec…
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The Last Public Toilet. William Smith and Alex Hope present personal, topical and metaphysical rumination on all things toilet. In the week public gatherings were banned, industries destroyed and draconian law set in Will ‘held it’ while trying to work out a secret bookcase door, nature calls for Alex in Milton Keynes, and the lack of toilet paper …
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