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Show notes, free downloads and more at: https://scotandemily.com/podcast | No AI-generated content, ever. | I'm Scot and she's Emily. We're the dating coaches you know and love over at X & Y Communications. Join us for the most heartfelt and action-packed dating podcast on planet Earth. We hit the ground running every show with solid dating and relationship tips from the unique (and often hilarious) perspective of BOTH genders. Less fluff = good stuff. And get this...we never resort to getti ...
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Lots of dating and relationship advice talks about how to know when you've finally met the right partner to build a long-term relationship with. And yes, by now we know the basics about attraction, 'chemistry', sexual compatibility, shared values, shared life goals, avoiding 'red flags' and every other success factor we've heard a thousand times. N…
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Finally, here's the full episode on a topic that everyone wonders about. It's no secret that men often want to date younger women. But what is it about those guys who are actually successful at doing so? And is it really true that many amazing young women actually prefer older men? First off, what actually counts as an 'older man' to a younger woma…
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If you've been out there dating for any time at all, you've likely compiled your fair share of weird dating stories. It's easy to think that those situations could only happen to you, and you've GOT to be the only one. But guess what? PLENTY of apparent weirdness on first dates is tons more common than you probably guess. This time around Emily and…
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We've all found ourselves out on a date with someone who creeped us out. And no...it's not gender-specific. But what does 'creepy' even mean? Why is it often so hard to define? Well, in this episode we break down exactly what constitutes such infamous creepy behavior...and how it tends to impact men and women differently. Is it possible some people…
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Every couple thinks and behaves differently. You've probably thought and behaved differently depending on who your significant other was at a particular time in history. But for sure there are, well...'standards' that tend to rule any polite, public conversation about how men and women typically are when they're a couple, and what's 'normal'. So th…
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You hear the term 'power couple' quite a bit, but what exactly does it mean? We know one when we see one, for sure. But is it necessarily a good thing? Would we want to team up with our significant other to BE one? If so, how do we BECOME one? Well, let's first get this out in the open: I'm not sure whether we are indeed a 'power couple' or not, es…
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It seems to everyone paying attention that beautiful women enjoy a massive 'halo effect'. It's like they're treated like celebrities--or even royalty--everywhere they go. But what else is going on there? What's it REALLY like to be a sexy, attractive woman out there in the dating world? Well, in my decidedly un-biased opinion, Emily is exactly the …
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Who knows why this topic hadn't been covered yet around here? My edumckayted guess is it probably had something to do with repressed memories. Yes, Emily and I both are survivors of first marriages affected by profound illness. And yes...we both strongly agree you would be better off avoiding psychotic people in general, especially as romantic part…
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Let's face it, when single moms and single dads get together, it's pure naive idealism that would cause us to expect we're creating our own Brady Bunch. The reality of blended families is much different. Emily and I have been there ourselves, and have first-hand experience. We know full well it can seem more like being put through a Vita-Mix than a…
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As the lyrics of one of Tyler Childers' songs say, 'There is hurt you can cause that time alone cannot heal'. When it comes to our interactions with women, a breathtaking amount of that pain is caused by what we say...or what SHE says. And when we get into a relationship, the stakes get even higher. We get straight to the point in this episode, fir…
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No matter how well a couple gets along and navigates their relationship, there always seems to be a challenge to your relationship coming from somewhere. It can start with the best man's TMI speech during the wedding reception. But what about unsolicited advice from miserable people who can't even manage their own relationships? Jealous BFFs and sn…
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In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk abo…
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This is the first of a two-part episode on the little things that either make a relationship great, or make it suck. Sure, you hear about the major pillars like trust, communication, attraction, etc., but this is a deeper dive into the subtle effects certain mindsets and/or actions have. The first order of business is to describe how big mountains …
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It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down wit…
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Who knew a funny video featuring two cockatoos would lead to a full-on discussion of one of the most devastating--and common--ways we do mess up our chances in dating and relationships? I'm talking, of course, about trying too hard. Do men, especially so-called 'nice guys', do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as …
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In 1968, Tammy Wynette released probably her most famous single, which caused immediate outrage from the Women's Movement. But Wynette countered by saying 'stand by your man' simply meant accepting one's husband despite his faults. But still, by today's standards the song might evoke even more vitriolic outrage. Yet, a recent Facebook post brought …
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2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from…
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Last week on The Mountain Top podcast I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But…
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Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider mas…
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Parenthood is hot, and we can prove it! Curiously enough, however, the first direction we went in was debating the 'dad bod' and 'mom bod' factor. Do men really desire that rail-thin supermodel body, or do many prefer a woman shaped more like she's had a baby or two? In addition to what they look like, how do hot moms really turn guys on? Is how me…
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This episode may come off as a bit weird up front, as it's the first show we've ever published to BOTH The Mountain Top and X & Y On The Fly feeds. But hey...we figured this is a timely conversation everyone can and should have, and also (more obviously) we're co-hosting this one together. So on with it... In this fast-paced show we talk candidly--…
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This episode may come off as a bit weird up front, as it's the first show we've ever published to BOTH The Mountain Top and X & Y On The Fly feeds. But hey...we figured this is a timely conversation everyone can and should have, and also (more obviously) we're co-hosting this one together. So on with it... In this fast-paced show we talk candidly--…
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There are certain so-called experts out there who would say two people sharing 'chemistry' between them is a BAD thing. What's up with that? Does it have anything to do with the fact there can be chemistry between two people who don't even LIKE each other? Or is it mostly people who don't have chemistry in their own relationships who say it doesn't…
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First and foremost, you can find the OPPOSITE conversation on how women talk about men when they're not around over on episode 134 of The Mountain Top Podcast. It's a barnburner just like this one. In THIS episode, however, we talk about drunk confessions, what goes on during men-only excursions, how men treat their 'henpecked' or 'p-whipped' frien…
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Given how complicated men and women make it to meet and attract each other, it's a miracle there are seven-and-a-half billion of us on this planet, right? With us to explore what makes it all so difficult is none other than fellow dating coach Mike Goldstein from New York City. What has happened in our post-modern world that keeps men and women apa…
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After millennia of assumptive coexistence, the idea of masculine/feminine polarity is under fire. Is it all really a societal construct designed to oppress women, or are the very building blocks of sexual attraction at stake here? Relationship coaches Brody and Antia Boyd sit in with us to hit this issue with a big, heavy hammer once and for all. I…
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Just because you and your significant other are now a couple doesn't mean you stop being two individual humans. Joining us this time are Stephen and Theresa from Ownstream, who do a lot of thinking about this important subject. What's the difference between supporting someone to grow vs. trying to get them to change? If you know something's good fo…
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How do we go this many episodes without covering this insanely important factor in a healthy relationship? Derek and Heidi from Uncharted Family sit in with us for a fast-paced (and hilarious, as usual) rant on 36-hour anniversaries, non-awkward silences, and seeing each other at our worst. Is being 'cordial' with each other a sign of trouble? Does…
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After over two years of radio silence, it's time to fire up the XYOTF engine again. What better way than to invite our friends Justin Stenstrom and Sarah Rudin from The Elite Man to join us for an epic breakdown of the infamous Honeymoon Phase? What is it anyway? And does it have to end? Is there really a stage BEFORE the Honeymoon Phase, and anoth…
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So you've got a new 'significant other'? Great...now what about your friends? How do you keep your friends from jealously sabotaging your relationship? In fact, how do you keep your friends in general? And what if the friend we're talking about here is your roommate? What are some solid strategies for couples who want to make friends with other cou…
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Okay, it's been almost four years since the subject of 'kids' has been brought up on this show, and there's plenty more to discuss nowadays. After all, having children changes the dynamics of an allegedly romantic relationship between a man and a woman, so this is important stuff. And don't 'kid yourself' (pun intended), what's talked about in this…
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We've all heard the old, worn-out cliche time and again...'If you want a great relationship with your significant other, you're going to have to WORK ON IT every single day.' But do we take that at face value without ever stopping to consider what that really means? And is it even TRUE to begin with? Listen in as Scot and Emily get down to the hear…
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Get ready for a no-holds-barred discussion on all sorts of non-monogamous relationships. Swingers and 'The Lifestyle'? The 'don't ask / don't tell' policy of the rich and famous? Bisexual trysts? The creative possibilities appear to be endless. So is it true that couples who have an 'open relationship' are enjoying better sex lives? Are they happie…
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Where are you? Who were you with? What's more annoying, having to ask questions like that or being on the receiving end of them? Well, in this episode, besides proving that the show is still in production after all, Scot and Emily give you the lowdown on jealousy. What is it anyway? And how can you tell for sure if those jealous feelings you've bee…
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Let's face it, whether you're a man or a woman there are things about the opposite gender that tend to drive you nuts. Why do they do all that annoying stuff? Well, in this episode you'll get straight answers once and for all from both Scot and Emily...even though they may not be the answers you want to hear. Yet the fact remains that we somehow st…
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Going on a first date can be a nerve-wracking experience for someone of either gender. But it doesn't have to be. Listen in as Scot and Emily talk about simple ways to prepare for first dates, make sure conversation flows easily, ignite the sparks of attraction and--of course--get the second date. Sure, we all know that hitting someone with 'interv…
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What is is about romantic "movie moments" that drive women wild? Better yet, what can guys learn from Hollywood about how to ignite femininity and become exactly the kind of man women desire? Scot and Emily look to uncover all the secrets the motion picture industry has to share, from the early classics all the way through to the present. You'll al…
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Are you a single parent? Or are you dating someone who is? If so, this episode is dedicated to you. With their son just about to celebrate his first birthday, Emily and Scot reveal their strategies for having a real, actual love life even when you've got rugrats in the house...or even teenagers, which presents its own set of challenges. They also s…
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Should you really try to get your ex back after a breakup? The answer: It depends. You're about to find out what it depends on exactly. Emily and Scot also talk about some great ways to defend against ever having to worry about the entire issue to begin with. And what about exes who create drama? Discover how to handle that, regardless of whether i…
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Okay, who really should be calling the shots when it comes to relationship management? The man? How about the woman? Emily and Scot define what 'wearing the pants' really means, offer some real-world ideas on how to take male/female power struggles off the table forever, and even hear opinions from a couple women on the street. Will you agree, disa…
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It has been said that this podcast has something for everyone, and this episode pretty much proves it. What are the disadvantages of dating when you are younger compared to when you are older? And how about the distinct dating advantages of being older? And while on the subject, what can younger people learn from the experiences of older daters, an…
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OK, get your "decoder rings" on. Emily and Scot are feelin' decidedly frisky after almost two months without an XYotF show, and ready to help you figure out what on Earth MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) mean by what they say, and what to say to them in return. Seriously, do you find yourself at a total loss for words when it comes to relating t…
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Special guest Renee Piane (www.deservewhatyouwant.com/renee). It happens to the best of us. You meet someone (or not even?) and you fall for him or her...hard. Usually, however, unless the person we're talking about here is 'The One', the relationship is going to end. What if your feelings were extraordinary powerful for this person and you were ho…
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Are you kidding me? Do Emily and Scot really think they can solve 'world peace' in a single podcast? Actually, understanding MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) might not be as enigmatic as we make it out to be, let alone 'impossible'. Listen in to this episode for all the secrets--it's a show that you just don't want to miss. AND...be sure to get …
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Emily and Scot are back with another mano-a-mano discussion on a truly controversial topic. So which gender has the more difficult time when it comes to dating? Listen in as Scot gets some outside opinions on the matter to start out with. From there, prepare to be surprised and challenged by what you hear, because as usual nothing is left on the ta…
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Special Guest Sean Stephenson (www.timetostand.com). You look around you and see couples who can't seem to get along. Then you wonder how they ever got together, let alone stay together. In this episode Scot and Emily define what settling is all about and provide real solutions for helping you stay out of that trap...forever. Never, ever settle...e…
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Special Guest David Wygant (www.deservewhatyouwant.com/wygant). Why is it so many people can't stay attracted to someone who used to seem so hot to them? And how can you prevent this from happening? Scot and Emily have heard one too many stories from listeners who have managed to somehow extinguish the flame after a relationship starts. Worse...it'…
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Special Guests Jon and Laurie Weiss (www.deservewhatyouwant.com/happy). We all know that men and women are supposed to be 'happy' together. But what does that mean? Emily and Scot look at the big picture, welcoming some gold-plated advice from a pair of guests who happen to have nearly fifty years' worth of experience at both relationship coaching …
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Special Guest Marie Forleo (www.deservewhatyouwant.com/marie). There's a lot of talk about how to create attraction. But what is there to remember about maintaining that attraction once you actually HAVE someone in your life? Discover the hidden mistakes that all too many people make and find out what it takes to keep the fire burning for a LONG ti…
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Finally...something the 'perfectly imperfect' co-hosts don't exactly agree on. Emily thinks that men should give women LOTS of flowers, early and often in a relationship. Scot, while not exactly against giving women flowers altogether, has a completely different outlook on the subject. No guests or 'man-on-the-street' interviews in this episode, ju…
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