Don't text and canter, kids.

Alex and Ray check back in yet again with the local goings on in Darrington. Always remember your corvid byelaws, folks. . . . cw: short mention of grief

Improper gifts, break-ups, pen licences and rival villages. It's an action packed month. . . . . . cw: childbirth complications

Ray and Alex discuss the miracle of birth.

Welcome to this bonus episode in which Alex listens to The Archers' pub quiz special celebrating 70 years on the air. At one point he says 'genitals' very emphatically. It's a good time all round. This recording has been condensed, but if you would like to download Alex's full commentary track simply email the secret code and 34 box tops to ambridg…

The metaphysical paradoxes of pub quiz patrons. Some bawdy cricket talk. Phillip Moss' slavery. One of these is not like the others and we wish we didn't have to talk about it.

Borsetshire is only on the other side of the looking glass, a world of cake and wellies is but a whisper away from our reality. A chosen one may one day pierce the astral veil between our divided realms. Until then our only window across the cosmic divide is Radio 4. If Radio 4 really exists at all...…

cw: underage drinking, drinking while pregnant, alcoholism, modern slavery As you can tell from our content warnings, The Archers really brought the festive spirit this month.

I don't need to write this description, Jerry's handling it.

In this Joycean epic we encounter mathematics, birthday wishes, a lost fortune, and a trying test of will. By 'will' I mean memory. It's a test of memory.

My name's Welly Wearer and I want to commit crimes with fire.

Ray and Alex don't spot a Shoebill but they do spot some rare dialogue.

CW: brief mention of passive suicidality. Why does Ray listen to The Archers? Why is a Weetabix not like a Shreddie? Can a horse Uber itself? Why have I used so many brand names in this month's blurb? These are the big questions.

Ray and Alex disregard the new monologue format and the cow it rode in on. Instead they embark upon a quest of unbridled creativity.

Ray and Alex explode back onto the scene with a fireball of an episode.

Does playing squash make you a villain? Ray and Alex don't find the answer to this and many other life-affirming questions in this month's episode, dedicated to evil(ish)-doers and their (quite) evil deeds.

Love is in the air - or is that just the smell of Helen's cheese?

Ray and Alex learn that some animals aren't really suited to finding lost cats.

We learn the results of the bid competition and hear about some spooky innuendos.

Ray and Alex risk the arcane wrath of English Heritage by dicking on Stonehenge a bit. They also talk about The Archers.

A taste of a podcast where two people talk about BBC’s The Archers. Only one of them actually listens to The Archers.

CW: mention of abuse of minors, related trauma, and re-encountering abusers. Ray and Alex talk about a recent Archers plotline surrounding the character Jim Lloyd. Conversation separated from our usual episodes due to sensitive content. Recorded July 2019.

Ray shares their first full shitlist, separating the curds from the whey. Recorded July 2019.

If you're often stumped when people ask you about BBC's The Archers, stop by our wicket to count our runs. Disclaimer: When Ray said granola they meant flapjack. We would like to apologise for this grievous oversight. Recorded June 2019.