Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth once had a dark and clever TV show that was ahead of its time. Now they have a podcast like everyone else.
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Jack auditions for a Star Trek videogame. Brian's traumatic school memories. Jack auditions for the Elder Scrolls. Brian explains his screenplays: Kramer vs. Kramer vs. Kong vs. Godzilla, The Discover Card Movie, The Muppets go to Springfield. Jack auditions for Call of Duty 16.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Jack auditions for Danger Horizon. Brian's selling a house. Slabadab gamed the happy arrangements. Random Amazon names. Jack auditions for Vader Returns. The Humpback of Notre Dame. BlueAnon friends. How the Secret Service gets the ladies. Jack auditions for Godzilla 2025.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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A most professional start. Jack reads for Golden Luck restaurant. Brian's lemonade/shellac stand. Octavius, the foster child. Humanitarian aid. Jack reads for Hershey's. Listing a home for sale. Afghan pre-nup. Jack reads for The Lawn Barber.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Jack reads for a children's book. Anti-Zionist podcast school. Latinx ladies love Papi Brian. Very Special Ed. Jack reads for another children's book. The wife tours colleges. Brian runs Camp Falsehopes. The wife tours colleges. Sponsored by silent.partners.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Jack auditions for The Spy. Brian's Hostile Environment Awareness Training. Chicken Auschwitz. Evading kidnap. Jack Auditions for Romeo & Juliet 2025. Hostile checkpoints. The Talk. Jack auditions for An American in London. Sponsored by silent.partnersBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Prestigious western stoning rocks. Six Flags at half mast. Extracting a Zionist from college. Mallet Monkeys. Death by vengeful salmon. Sponsored by Silent.PartnersBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Nancy Lynn's Organic Bakery. Brian was gone because of a terrible thing that actually happened. Friends episodes you didn't know about. Top Golf. Gen Z boardgame adaptations. Hobby Lobby. RIP Damian. Sponsored by silent.partnersBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Brian explains the accicental hiatus because Jack asked him to explain the accidental hiatus.By Brian Sack
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Colonoscopy woes. Rock-solid sponsor. Coloring books for kids. Brian's off to Cyprus. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Obits. Pat Benetar. Jack's kids get assimilation tips. Sponsored by silent.partners qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Audition: The Albert R. Broccoli story. Waking up with the Helmuths. Tracing Jack's family's COVID origins. Audition: White House Memoir. A Very Unnecessary Rabbit Testing Facility. Audition: a serial killer's autobiography. Sponsored by Silent Partners. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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An ad for Silent Partners. Brian moved to Rivertownbergville. An ad for Silent Partners. Great new Californian laws. An ad for Silent Partners. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Liberal Sects Chat. Comedy Jihad. Jack's a Half-Keller. Masai sneakers. Libertarian Sects Chat. Knights of Death. Silent Partners. Remigrating the unassimilated. Conservative Sects Chat. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Movie Trailer auditions. Evil Canadian Truth and Reconcilition. Clinton Presidential Library exhibits. Sponsored by Silent Partners. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Merry Christmas. No one reads these.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Audiobook: Paul McCartney bio. Jack's a scab. Brian's car isn't autonomous. Audiobook: Harvard Pres. Claudine Gay's work. Christmas scripts: Santa Goes to Divorce Court, Christmas on Mars, The Little Drummer Girl. Audiobook: Arizona Skies.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Kissinger Memorial Gala. The Terrible Tale of Tim's restaurant. Kissinger's biography. Jack got mis-aged. Brian has a Wellness Center.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Dr. Rabinowitz obituary. The King of Detention. New college courses: New Math, Intro to Judaism, American History. Jason Peevy obituary. Holiday Promotions: Ford, Dick's Sporting Goods, Oreo. Ingrid Mackenzie obituary.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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United Federation of Lust. Breakfast wine in Morocco. Temp wives. Safe Date. Writing gaffes for Biden. The Entitled Cyclist.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Off to Morocco for the Respect Dollars. Jiggles & Giggles, A Gentleman's Comedy Club. Losing the wife to a Saudi Prince. Gregarious Brian. John soiled Taylor. A modern reboot of popular comics: Garfield, Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Brian was in Maui for the wildfires. Jack has a new baby and needs advice. Brian is a marketing genius improving baby products. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Tips on listing your home. Road trip guide. Barry White's romantic song for cats. Jack auditions for audiobooks: Clip Clop, Ibram X. Kendi's Guide to the Stock Market, The Ogre's Child.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Frenchman having a stroke opening. Brian lost a girl to sweating. Debate camp. Brian reacquainted Jack's wife her money. Woking the blockbusters: Fast & Furious, Transformers, Rocky, Jurrasic Park.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Brian fights ableism with a flare-bearing monkey. Mouring the open we never got to know. Coke in the White House. Polyamonours Mayor. Jack reads Obituaries: Irving Maximus Rothwell, Sunny Dee, Stockton Rush.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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The 1492 Project. Jack is sad he wasn't invited to Brian's Party. Brian wife speak word. God took Brian's mom and made him hate Connecticut. Horse piñata. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and jack Helmuth
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Home Automation Experts LLC. The kid is back from college and the wife is transitioning. Celebrity endorsements: Dwayne the Rock Boyardee, Madonna for Jello, Colin Kapernick for The Marines, Billy Joel on Scranton. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Cat Investments, LLC. Brian and Jack's sleepover. Brian has great and Ecuadorian remodeling tips for Jack’s new house. Brian would be a great philanthropic Koch brother if only given the chance. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Tucker & Lemon. Brian's back from Turkey. Jack made a mistake and has big news. Bud Light made a mistake? Hold my beer. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Brian gives an update from Turkey, which Turks call Turkiye.By Brian Sack
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Two Turtle Doves Again. Kwanzaa Outlet. Jack's no good, terrible year. Fort Knox secrets. Andrew Heaton tries to land sponsors: Plastic Surgeon, Avatar 2, Wampaquissett Valley Casino. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Adagio for Strings. Baking Clinic. Cat tumors and doggie DNA. Advice for a young lady. Audiobook auditions: The Day the Bird Died, Harrison Schmitt Was There Too, The Night Santa Came. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Mama Pione's Marinara. Charles from Tech Support. Intimate venues, intimate moments, soiled doorways. Oprah's favorite things. Jack auditions: Who Moved My Cheese?, The Feds, Night At The Bunker. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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SHHOP. Brian's back from disaster relief. Go Fund I. Jack Jr. has COVID. Timmy Sykes is Delicious Bill. Ad campaigns for John Fetterman, Ye's Hannukah Village, Trombones, Chipotle. Jack reads for CNN++: Liftoff, Medical Miracle, Stacey Abrams.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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A Gulgarian expat opens a sexy venue. Brian's back from disaster relief. Halloween costumes. Presidential Baby Team. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Questionable Material with Jack Helmuth and Andrew Heaton as Brian's off to do his disaster relief thing. Jack's archival interview with Queen Elizabeth. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Russian recruitment ad. Nursing home rebellion. #NeverForget tragedies or anniversaries. Thomas the Tank Engine's new friends. Jack tries to land sponsors: Rowley Private Investigations, Pete's Discount Zoo, Willie Nelson. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Paint Distributor. Jack's new home has Monkeypox. Saving Prime Time with Brian & the Gang, Alff, The Inspirational Singers. A son heads off to college and dad is eager to help.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Not so Quality Inn. Kenny Loggins Space Program. Jack's in Hell. Brian's son attends Special Military Operations Camp. The demon Neil Diamond.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Kidnapped by a cat lady. Raising money to extend the war. Entrepreneurship: Clown college, girth.com, Shag Finds cereal. Biden’s Prep & Mop-Up Team.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Jack in Vail. The six-star hotel difference. Breakfast wines.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Jack is in Virginia with a circumsized lady on the way. Brian explains new Ukrainian tactics. Spontaneous ads for Rhodeside Grill, Hawaiian Punch, GE Microwaves. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Oh, hey! Jack has COVID yet again. Brian's back from Poland and booby-trapped the washing machine to teach the kids a lesson.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Brian reports from Przemysl. Working with great people like Flavio. Grandpa was a Bibliohump. A room with a view. Jack has a new job and needs advice. Przemysl.By Brian Sack
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Przemysl. How it's going. Pawel the Bodega Cat. Previous Oscars kerfuffles. Please kill him I want to come home.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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The first dispatch from the Poland-Ukraine border. Jack is homeless. Brian fails to promote the podcast when platformed. Jack gets arrested. What to do when pulled over. The Germans. Slava UkrainiBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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New New York Lotto Game. Brian in Poland. Making baseball more exciting. Movie endings: King Kong, Wizard of Oz, Brokeback Mountain, Annie Hall. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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A very special blossom. On the border. Eden has questions. The Bat. Przemysl. Donate to World Central Kitchen https://donate.wck.org/By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Save the Oligarchs. Russian Logistics. Melancholy times. Elton John farewell tour. Making Putin pay. Jack reads for Russian news agency TASS: Not An Invasion, Ivan's Landscaping, March-il Law. qmpodcast.comBy Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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CNN's Prayers Answered. Gas Station TV. Sarasota's overbuilt. Ziggy makes sense and Garfield is funny. New York Times ad campaign. Jack auditions: The Batman Again, La Bouche, A Quiet Place 3.By Brian Sack and Jack Helmuth
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Showtime Promo. Racist Fan Club. Canada-free weekend. Five-star dog shelter and a dog-owned cat shelter. The truth behind the music: Meatloaf, Fight the Power, Billie Jean, Heroes, Stayin' Alive, Sweet Child O' Mine, I Walk the Line. Russian official Sergei Simonov on Ukraine and doping. qmpodcast.com…
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