Chinggay and Patty are at an all-time low because Hallmark’s Countdown to Summer movies literally put them both to sleep. BMIH’s shortest episode yet goes through this snoozefest, one movie at a time—so you don’t have to. Our silver lining? Andrea Brooks and the return of BMIH’s favorite kid actor, Averie Peters. Everything Puppies (Pascal Lamothe-…

Chinggay and Patty throw the gauntlet with super serious Spring Into Love pronouncements. One, bobs are making a comeback thanks to Aimee Teegarden and Erin Krakow. Two, Dan Jeanotte is officially out of Patty’s doghouse. And three, Chinggay declares Sarah Drew to be the HCU’s very own Meryl Streep. Cuties Robert Buckley and Juan Pablo di Pace add …

Chinggay and Patty fixate on their current Hallmark kinks: Patagonia sad dads and crumbs from a kind friend-to-lover. This week’s movies fall under No Man’s Land season, where random themes reign supreme — female empowerment care of fighter pilot moms and car mechanic daughters. Two favourite actresses, Erin Cahill and Rachel Boston, return for les…

Chinggay and Patty get loud, proud, and prejudiced because it’s Austen month on the Hallmark Channel! It is a truth universally acknowledged that when certain actors who BMIH has deemed disgraced come on-screen, you get a pod filled with intense rage. On the opposite end of the spectrum, this season is also happily full of intense longing, love, an…

Chinggay and Patty actually get through New Year New Movies without a hitch! The year started with a slew of sports offset by Hallmark’s usual tropes. Rugby + fascination with a foreign land, golf + dead moms, aerial silks + small town festival. The one movie that managed to steer clear of any tropes, of course, took our breath away—and we have Lac…

Chinggay and Patty share their Top 12 movies from this year’s Countdown to Christmas and Miracles of Christmas season. This year, we get fans, family, and friends to share their thoughts on our top picks; and rank our best holiday movies from across the years. It’s been a rollercoaster of a season—thanks for sticking it out with us! Round and Round…

Chinggay and Patty throw well-deserved shade at nearly every movie this week and unwillingly come up with a nice movie amidst a sea of naughty ones (the bar was on the floor for the end of Countdown to Christmas). That said, we celebrate our lezzie queens and admit that all we want for Christmas is a Sugar Daddy. Sealed with a List (Kate Findlay, E…

Chinggay and Patty just cannot with Hallmark’s attempt at making a “This is Us” movie; plus Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad come to the screens but in separate movies, and it breaks our hearts a little. We celebrate Sam Page’s return to the channel (with Rachael Leigh Cook as an added bonus). And for the fourth year in a row, Hanukkah steals our …

Chinggay and Patty trudge through another round of mediocre movies saved by one gem and one gem alone. There’s the yearly call to arms protesting the Time For x Miracles of Christmas movies, and an unfortunately messy Mahogany movie with what would have been a promising cast (hello again, Ronnie Rowe Jr.). Hallmark’s Fascination with a Foreign Land…

Chinggay and Patty speed through eight movies in under a week and weed through the naughty ones so you don’t have to watch them. Fast forward through holiday mediocrity and more couples in trouble and hit pause for a surprise makeout scene. We see Patty’s most beloved tropes from across the Pond demolished, and Chinggay gives in to Love, Actually-i…

Chinggay and Patty trudge through the holiday sludge before getting to the cream of the crop of this week. Nikki deLoach gets crowned as Queen of all Couples In Trouble ™, Lucas Bryant and Stephen Huszar are nominated as Dead Eyes Sr. and Jr., and Lacey Chabert looks fab in off-shoulder tops. The cameo to end all cameos happens this week, plus a ca…

Chinggay and Patty call it a tie—two naughties and two nice movies this week. We send Cindy Busby our Yuletide sympathies, are glad to have Good Witch Joy back in circulation, and are in support of Hallmark’s Fascination with Foreign Lands™️. Lastly, it’s a battle between Hallmark’s Finest with burly Victor Webster and king of the Almost Kisses And…

Chinggay and Patty have zero notes because this week’s movies are pitch perfect—two thumbs up for every Hallmark genre. The always delightful Hunter King leads the pack in an ensemble / girls’ night out flick. Our fave Heartland gal Amber Marshall melts our hearts as she gets it on with professorial heartthrob + Hallmark newcomer of the week, Ben M…

Chinggay and Patty have a huge slice of humble pie this week as their former Hallmark hates become this week’s big winners. While we wish Jaicy Elliot and Brant Daughtery could get a better storyline (no more stupid fables, please), we have no notes for the ultimate Zaddy himself, Brennan Elliot. Patty makes peace with Barbara Niven, while Chinggay…

Chinggay and Patty return to the pod as Hallmark launches Countdown to Christmas. On the first week of holiday movies, we get women in STEM with a too-hot brother, Kevin McGarry’s blue eyes and perfect hair, and Michael Rady making a comeback in a magical realism movie no one asked for but inevitably stole our hearts. Not a bad start to the season!…

Chinggay and Patty skip the winter season and head straight into spring… with way more movies than they bargained for. It’s a mixed bag with clear losers, middling airtime fillers, and two of the best movies we’ve seen in a while, thanks to Hallmark’s two Erins—Krakow and Cahill. Plus: a new nemesis to watch out for. Love in the Maldives (Jocelyn H…

Chinggay and Patty’s own Miracle of Christmas? Making it through 10 weekly episodes, 40 movies, and a ton of surprises cameos this year. 2022 was a stacked year, but we’ve managed to whittle it down to the best 15, just for you. Happy New Year folks—see you next season. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Foll…

Chinggay and Patty go bananas over the utter perfection that is “Hanukkah on Rye.” We’re talking Jewish nuance, a smashing ensemble cast, smart writing, witty banter, and our favorite trope of all: “You’ve Got Mail / The Shop Around the Corner.” Forget every other movie this week and just watch this one four times over. Plus: a husband wife switche…

Chinggay and Patty revel at all the barriers that were broken this week. Jonathan Bennett’s efforts to spearhead inclusivity for the LGBTQ community were top notch—“The Holiday Sitter” is joining the ranks of Hallmark Christmas classics for years to come. The surprise of the season is Dayspring’s Christianity-centric movie, which had fast faves Nik…

Chinggay and Patty nearly call it quits after the most disappointing lineup of movies BMIH has ever seen. Kudos to Steven Huszar for sending shockwaves into our hearts by playing an ex-Navy Seal bodyguard. We watch these movies so you don’t have to—hear our thoughts and immediately tune into “Undercover Holiday” for shits, giggles, and holiday Husz…

Chinggay and Patty divvy up the Merry Thanksgiving movies into three categories—mediocre non-performers, basic Hallmark fare, and all-new classics everyone’s sure to rewatch for years to come. BMIH kings Tyler Hynes and Victor Webster take the cake this week, while HCU queens Lacey Chabert and Rachel Boston show everyone how it’s done. There’s a li…

Chinggay and Patty speed through the week’s meh movies in order to a fully fleshed out, in-depth look at Hallmark’s most highly-rated movie yet, “Three Wise Men and a Baby.” Andrew Walker (aka Captain America of the HCU) as a firefighter who looks after his family because he’s perfect like that, Paul Campbell as an anxiety-ridden pet therapist who’…

Chinggay and Patty are shocked. A Hallmark spy movie with royalty, children, and kidnapping? Hallmark Movies & Mysteries managing to cast someone as huge as Beau Bridges? An ambitious take on Love Actually… actually working? Patty not hating on Barbara Niven? And Brendan Penny being the dork to superstar Patti Murin? Wonders never cease. This week,…

Chinggay and Patty have called it—the first terrible movie of the year has made it to the lineup (consider yourselves warned). Ali Sweeney fails to appeal to BMIH’s cold, cynical hearts, but Marlo Thomas becomes a contender for Christmas mom of the year. Two of the HCU’s biggest leads go head to head this week in two different movies: Andrew Walker…

Chinggay and Patty’s jaws have dropped as they discuss a multitude of holiday twists. A resurrected dead husband? A non-Scrooge possibly falling in love with his grandma? Will Kemp’s American accent? Jodie Sweetin charming our hearts? Snark has left the building and has been replaced by pure, wholesome holiday cheer. As the Naughty List stays empty…

Chinggay and Patty kick off the third annual BMIH Countdown to Christmas + Miracles of Christmas reviews with high hopes and high praises. Resident HCU A-lister Kristoffer Polaha leaves a lasting impression once again, Sarah Ramos makes waves as 2022’s fresh, bright newcomer, and in the biggest twist of all, Carlo Marks goes from Chesapeake Shores …

Chinggay and Patty mourn the end of their favorite Hallmark series and move through all the Season 6 highs, lows, and shoulda-woulda-couldas with heaps of nostalgia and sentimentality. There’s no contest when it comes to the O’Brien winners (Kevin and Mick 4ever; with Connor as a solid runner-up), but there’s a lot to discuss when it comes to the w…

Chinggay and Patty agree that watching the entire fall lineup of the Hallmark Channel is next to impossible, and settle for six movies instead (most of which of don’t make the grade). The stunners of the season, however, are Hallmark royalty—there’s not a lot that Amanda Schull, Brennan Elliot, Rachel Boston, and Paul Campbell can’t do to win our h…

Chinggay and Patty send salty season’s greetings to movies from the HCU’s Christmas past and Christmas present. Aside from some horribly cast and terribly written oldies, it looks like fan faves Kevin and Kayla are dealt yet another dud. Good thing this season gave some sexy and surprising slays with a fun, flirty toy movie and a blended family fli…

Chinggay and Patty dive right into Summer Nights ‘22 and are pleasantly surprised by its many hidden gems. A-listers Ashley Williams and Ryan Paevey steal the show with “Two Tickets to Paradise” and HCU rookies Hunter King and Beau Mirchoff make a case for enemies to lovers with “Hidden Gems.” Stay tuned for F*ck Marry Kill as Patty makes her case …

Chinggay and Patty talk lowlights, highlights, and plot suggestions for Season 10. Puppy love in the time of cholera, an alternate DILF timeline, and (just maybe) killing off the main character of the show. Plus, the new couple everyone needs to root for: Mountie Nathan and Newly Single Doctor Faith. We also welcome our favorite HCU standby, Matthe…

Chinggay and Patty play catchup on Hallmark’s 2022 lineup and pick five movies to diss and dish on. Get ready for all-new pitches for the HCU: the Luscious Locks Club, a cast switcheroo between our favorite WCTH couple Kevin and Kyla + superstars Tyler Hynes and Autumn Reeser, and a Regency period Hallmark series. Always Amore (Autumn Reeser and Ty…

Chinggay and Patty kick off Year 3 of Hallmark movie reviews with Lacey Chabert, Autumn Reeser, and Allison Sweeney—three best friends who find an antique wedding veil said to bring true love to whoever owns it. Expect violent rants from Chinggay, 3/3 leading man raves from Patty, and a sudden craving for all things Italian (wink, wink). The Weddin…

Chinggay and Patty look back on all 40 movies they’ve watched since October and rank the worst, the almost but not quites, and of course, the year’s Top 12. Also included: this year’s secondary characters who need to score major roles, our dream collabs among the stars of the HCU, our (loving) co-opting of Hanukkah traditions, who our Hallmark Sant…

Chinggay and Patty are sad to see the Miracles of Christmas bangers come to a resounding crash with this week’s tragic movies. But are revived and revved up with two of the year’s best movies yet: a reprise from the beloved Christmas House cast and the best triple-name pairing we’ve seen yet: Rachael Leigh Cook and Travis Van Winkle. Raise your hot…

Chinggay and Patty have waited years for Kristoffer Polaha to make his Hallmark holiday comeback—they finally get their wish this week with an amazing meta/parody performance. Plus, newcomers to the HCU take their breath away and the Williams ladies deliver a Sister Swap slam dunk. Sugar Plum Twist (Jamie Gray Hyder, Laura Rosguer, Ektor Rivera) Ou…

Chinggay and Patty recast the week’s many mistletoe misses by summoning the long-missed big guns: Kris Polaha, Autumn Reeser, and JerJor to come save Christmas. In a surprising turn of events, they cement their love for holiday heroine Lacey Chabert, crown Brendan Penny as king of Hallmark’s service and care professions, and freak out over the 3/3 …

Chinggay and Patty cringe through a few misses and revel at the massive number of hits that Hallmark’s Merry Thanksgiving streak had to offer. It was like the veritable HCU Avengers came to town, with Niall Matter (worming his way into our panties again), Tyler Hynes (who we have F’d and M’d one too many times), unexpected cameos from actors who’ve…

Chinggay and Patty can’t believe the network finally gave Andrew Walker an electrifyingly awesome holiday movie. And if that wasn’t enough excitement for one week, Peter Gallagher has entered the HCU, proving that he is the real Hallmark Zaddy. Plus, Patty divulges our secret grudge against one unnamed leading man. A Holiday in Harlem (Olivia Washi…

Chinggay and Patty barely made it through this week, remembering only the bare minimum from Countdown to Christmas’ three MIstletoe Misses. The bright spot this week comes from Hallmark Movies and Mysteries’ Miracles of Christmas again. Who knew we’d choose a wholesome, family drama over all the would-be romcoms this year? Stay tuned for the mass h…

Chinggay and Patty were at a loss this week—how could Ryan Paevey and Janel Parrish come up with a dud? Why do hardcore Christmas musicals even exist? Who green lighted these movies? Thankfully, yet another “You’ve Got Mail” remake comes to the rescue and gives us something worth watching. Plus, favorite actors make a fantastic comeback. Christmas …

Ho ho ho! Chinggay and Patty start Season 2 of BMIH’s holiday festivities with many mistletoe misses and one movie that actually sleighed. For interracial freshness, an investigation into “where haven’t we seen Luke Macfarlane,” plus waxing poetic on Paul Campbell’s snazzy new swagger, give our BMIH Christmas launch a listen. You, Me & the Christma…

Chinggay and Patty call it—this is Chesapeake Shores’ best season yet. Every character from Grandma Nell to all of Abby’s and Bree’s love interests get a well-earned shoutout in this comprehensive breakdown. Plus, F*ck Marry Kill, Chesapeake Shores edition. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twit…

Chinggay and Patty are so floored by fall, they actually deign to recommend their usual Hallmark nitpicks: “believable” time travel, country music cha-cha-chas, and divorced exes riding horses together. The most notable stars of this season, however, bring spicy Argentinian and Cuban flavors to a slowly evolving HCU. Bring out the wine and the ropa…

Chinggay and Patty speculate on the upcoming holiday movies, since Hallmark failed to give us any info on what to expect. Also included, the folks we’re missing this year, and the folks + movies we wish we didn’t have to watch. Brace yourselves for some BMIH snark. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us…

Chinggay and Patty take a stab at even more summer movies — going meta with tv-themed storylines, embarking on yet another adventure in search of wildlife and waterfalls, and finally finding justice for Wes Brown. Before ditching your sunnies for pumpkin spice lattes, listen to the detailed dissection of Andrew Walker’s impeccable Hallmark-copyrigh…

Chinggay and Patty bid a not so fond farewell to Sam, Cassie, and the rest of the Good Witch crew in low spirits. They run through this bummer of a season so nobody else has to. You’ve been warned. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and Paola Lazatin for our cover art Follow us on Twitter: @makeithallmark and on Instagram: @butmakeithallmark…

Chinggay and Patty go through a melting pot of rehashed plotlines, attractive destinations, pretty leads, and fresh new faces to the HCU. 2021’s Summer Nights provides a mixed bag of teen angst, mature love (always a BMIH fave), carbs, and small towns needing a tourism Hail Mary. Plus, our hosts plot the perfect HCU Avengers-style movie mash-up. Sa…

Chinggay and Patty rake through the Hallmark archives to watch a compilation of regency remakes. Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, and Emma Hallmark Channel style did not go down well… so to take the bitter taste of Austen blasphemy away, Chinggay and Patty proactively cast their own Hallmark-Austen adaptations. Unleashing / Marrying Mr. Darc…

Chinggay and Patty head back to Hope Valley and wrap up the last six episodes of “When Calls the Heart” season 8. They spice up the boring bits with Sex and the City mash-ups, subversive feminist plot possibilities, and an outpouring of love for Rosemary Coulter. Stay for F*ck, Marry, Kill, ladies edition. Thanks to Pietro Lazatin for our music and…