Best Cold Spring School Podcasts (2024)

1
The Old Ship 1:01:00

7d ago1:01:00

1:01:00

When the Cavalier receives a mysterious distress signal, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese) head to investigate a derelict ship. But do they have the experience and maturity needed to uncover its secrets? Or will they gain it extremely quickly? Join our Patreon now for tons mo…

1
[Patreon Preview] Justice... and/or Discipline 7:45

13d ago7:45

7:45

When Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) brings Scandal (Carly Monardo), Groomda (Tim Platt), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher) to the idyllic world of Jessbo-2, all he can hope for is that the Jessbens have totally normal laws that none of the crew violate! To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for t…

1
The Planet with No Chocolate 1:01:25

21d ago1:01:25

1:01:25

Just when he thought it was safe in the Galaxy, Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) arrives in his personal hell. Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher) investigate a series of strange disappearances on the planet's only settlement. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE…

151
These Those Spring Special: Trek Draft! 1:31:32

1M ago1:31:32

1:31:32

Spring has sprung, so it's no better time for a seasonal special, baby!! Join Joe, Ali, Chris, and Branson as they draft their dream Trek bridge crew, chat about Vulcans, oh and make one incredible surprise announcement. Don't miss it! TREK DRAFT RULES This will be a snake draft. You will draft a crew of 7 officers to helm your Starship Your crew m…

51
[Patreon Preview] Hiss the Bride 8:00

1M ago8:00

8:00

When Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) is tasked with planning the Bachelorette Party for Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), she naturally invites Meredith's best fried, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt). But when Gelmire agrees to be 'just Meredith's friend' for the weekend, will an alluring suitor (Joe Lepore) come between them? You heard right! The w…

1
Cold Case 1:01:41

2M ago1:01:41

1:01:41

When the CSS Cavalier crosses paths with a centuries-old human spacecraft, Groomda (Tim Platt), Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), and Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) lead the investigation. But what if, there in strange spacebound time capsule, there was a still-working cryopod, preserving an ancient spacefarer? What secrets could they share of the past? …

1
[Patreon Preview] Groundroach Day 6:37

2M ago6:37

6:37

What would happen, one wonders, if that villainous mastermind Darkly Gameover (Joe Lepore), hacked into the CSS Cavalier holozone to create a series of deathtraps to test Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher)? Would they rise to the occasion? Would they get stuck in the first deathtrap and in the interest of time Darkly …

1
Sown the Future Part Two 1:09:03

2M ago1:09:03

1:09:03

Reeling from the events of last episode, Begonia Bloodterror (Chris Hastings) and his time-travelling companions Vee (Carly Monardo) and Oberon Coaxial (Branson Reese) race across dystopian Antarctica to stop Begonia's son's evil plan. But will the aid of a shocking ally be enough to help save the day? All this and the continuing adventures of Glee…

1
Sown the Future 54:23

3M ago54:23

54:23

When ship's Tactician Begonia BloodTerror (Christopher Hastings), is brought to the future by some time-lost compatriots Vestavi-er, Vee, and Oberon Coaxial (Carly Monardo and Branson Reese), his hopes for a wonderful utopia are dashed. No, I'm afraid the future is not a wonderful utopia, dear listener- it's a bad *dystopia*!! But what is Begonia's…

1
Scandal and Charity's High School Reunion 1:18:39

3M ago1:18:39

1:18:39

When Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher) are summoned to their High School reunion, will they recapture the glory of youth? Rekindle old flames? Discover childhood secrets? All that and more??? PLUS: Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) seeks professional advice. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE …

1
[Patreon Preview] A Ship in a Pocket 6:17

3M ago6:17

6:17

In order to pass through a dangerous Correxian checkpoint, the CSS Cavalier is shrunk down to the size of a coin, and escorted secretly by Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese). With the lives of everyone aboard the ship in their literal hands, will Dewey and Klaus rise to the occasion? Or will their checkered pasts come…

1
Hyperlift Lost 1:09:20

4M ago1:09:20

1:09:20

When Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings), Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), get stuck in a hyperlift aboard the CSS Cavalier, everyone decides to do the sensible thing and calmly wait until help arrives. Or do they??? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. …

1
These Those Holiday Special: Alien Draft '23 with Joe, Tim, and Carly! 1:04:31

4M ago1:04:31

1:04:31

It's a bird! It's a plane! No...it's a podcast! It's the end of the year, and as we kick back and relax, Joe, Carly, and Tim gather round that cosmic fire with a mug of hot cocoa and DRAFT THEIR FAVORITE ALIENS. Who will have the best crew of creatures from beyond the stars when the dust settles? Listen and find out, please! Missing the usual OTTSS…

1
[Patreon Preview] Showdown at Prosperous Chasm 6:52

4M ago6:52

6:52

When Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Ship's Cat Chestershire (Ali Fisher), and Ship's Mortician Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese), need emergency shuttlecraft repairs on the abandoned mining planet SilvGold-7, they find themselves in a *gulp* ghost town. But surely the local legend of a ghostly miner who haunts the mines is nothing more than a…

1
The Grand Oomda 54:58

5M ago54:58

54:58

It seems like a pretty typical day for the CSS Cavalier's chief scientist/tentacle monster Groomda (Tim Platt), until a mysterious figure from Groomda's past (Christopher Hastings) arrives to call him home. Will he leave his new life behind? Meanwhile, can Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) win the heart of Princess Tyrexibeth?? Join our Patreon now fo…

1
AbNormal 1:00:16

5M ago1:00:16

1:00:16

The holidays have arrived at the CSS Cavalier, so naturally Ship's Event Planner Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) is on hand to host a preview of Delicious Donald's (Branson Reese) latest wintertime confections. But when adorable orphan Boboli (Carly Monardo) notices something strange about Guy Normal, well, who knows what could happen! I can't believe we …

1
[Patreon Preview] "The Chesterfields are Dying Left and Right!" 7:06

6M ago7:06

7:06

Sometimes, dear listener, family reunions aren't 100% joyful. I know this may come as a shock to you, all the more reason you'll relate to Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), when she's visited by her twin siblings Bester Meth (Branson Reese) and Hester Beth Chesterfield (Carly Monardo), who come bearing bad news. For a hint as to what, see the epi…

1
Perchance to Snooze 58:52

6M ago58:52

58:52

When Guy Normal (Branson Reese), Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings), and Boboli (Carly Monardo) settle in for a peaceful night's sleep, little do they know they are about to embark on an adventure, not across space, but across the very dreamscape! Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH f…

1
Mission Accomplished 1:19:11

6M ago1:19:11

1:19:11

When our three Mages- Deremeth (Ali Fisher), Werimether (Christopher Hastings), and Jodge the Middle Mage (Carly Monardo) find themselves sent to a planet torn by war can they help its people recover and rebuild? Or will they just get wrapped up in squabbles about Luck Magic? Also Kwoo (Joe Lepore) shows up. Wait-Kwoo? THEE KWOO? Uh oh! Join our Pa…

1
[Patreon Preview] Connect The Botz 6:30

7M ago6:30

6:30

By the end of this episode, you'll be like "Rip Van Winkle? More like Rip...Van...Twinkle Toes!" DRAMATIS PERSONAE Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content, Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPIS…

1
The Lake Beast 1:22:47

7M ago1:22:47

1:22:47

Down on an alien world, ambitious ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), finds himself on a bit of a wild Goose chase when trying to form a Triumvirate of Guys with Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings). Meanwhile, Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher) try to bond as only a bride and her …

1
These Those September Special: Talkin' EXTRATERRESTRIALS with Joe, Chris, and Branson! 1:02:49

7M ago1:02:49

1:02:49

Even Groomda needs a break sometimes! Instead of a classic These Those adventure, Joe "Close Encounter" Lepore, Christopher "Area 51" Hastings, and Branson "Little Green Man" Reese are getting together to discuss the possibility of life...out there. And don't worry, they don't go on any tangents! Unrelated, here are the two weird TCM specials Warre…

1
Hint 1:15:45

8M ago1:15:45

1:15:45

When Gelmi-ahem, Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) is invited to an exclusive dinner party at the mansion of video game madman Darkly Gameover, how can he say no? And who better to bring along than Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) and Werimether (Christopher Hastings)? And who said anything about murder? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN…

1
To Taste Success 1:23:12

8M ago1:23:12

1:23:12

Ship's Junior Mortician Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo) discovers the perfect wedding gift for Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher)- Azure Skyberries from the cloud planet Cirri-7, which are in season for the first time in 500 years! But who will guide them to retrieve this gift? Perhaps the enigmatic Oberon C…

1
[Patreon Preview] The Prince and the Tentacle 6:33

9M ago6:33

6:33

When a Vanguard Tentacle Expert arrives on the ship, Groomda (Tim Platt) can't be far behind. And when that Tentacle Man has an old friend aboard- Helmsman Pluto Cloud-Atlas (Christopher Hastings) can't be far behind either. And when a weird asteroid crashes into the ship? Well that rock's mysterious passenger (Carly Monardo) absolutely cannot be f…

1
The Purple Excellence 1:04:26

9M ago1:04:26

1:04:26

Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Begonia (Christopher Hastings) are put off at first when they meet the grim and mysterious photographer Lestecheth Feldermeld (Ali Fisher). But don't worry! Her camera reveals the specter of death :DBy Bucket of Milk

1
Bovine Alley 1:04:46

9M ago1:04:46

1:04:46

Sacre Bleu...cow?? When Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings), grizzled veteran Klaus Kitski (Branson Reese), and ship's Translator Très Bien (Tim Platt) meet for a pleasant evening at the CSS Cavalier's Bowling Alley, they'll unfortunately have to take a raincheck for the 'pleasant' part. Because something very strange is going on with the rest of the …

1
[Patreon Preview] Tale as Old as Space 5:54

10M ago5:54

5:54

When Junior Mortician Vestavia (Carly Monardo), Ship's Agent Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), and Mage of Ill Portent (Christopher Hastings), find themselves on the bridge of the CSS Cavalier, we can only hope they won't be called upon to save the ship in a moment of crisis. They are not equipped to take that kind of thing on! To hear the rest of thi…

1
Future Days of Present Past 1:05:47

10M ago1:05:47

1:05:47

When plucky Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), ship's ENT Dr, Dewey (Chrisopher Hastings) and junior mortician Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo) take in the many constellations from the CSS Cavalier's Observation Deck, it's sure to be an evening full of stars. But the stars are even closer than they think, when a mysterious traveler comes a…

1
Flower Power 1:06:39

11M ago1:06:39

1:06:39

When the Flora Regnant of Angio Prime falls gravely ill, ship's tactician Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) is whisked away from the Cavalier for what can only be an impending funeral. But when we're talking kings and sucession, even he can't be caught unawares! For aboard this flowering starship are Hellebore (Carly Monardo) and Magentena…

1
[Patreon Preview] Bright Lights, Ring City 11:29

11M ago11:29

11:29

On a critical mission for the CSS Cavalier, Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and his bodyguards Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity Mesterfield (Ali Fisher) have nowhere to turn but to an old friend: Xander Mercutio, governor of the Ring City of Relzax. Not only is he willing to help our heroes, he's coincidentally just made a deal to ensure the…

1
The Lost Boy or: A Delicious Day 1:26:31

11M ago1:26:31

1:26:31

Having finally earned a promotion, Ensi-er, Lieutenant Junior Grade Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) leads a crack team including Blooperno Illion (Christopher Hastings) and ship's chocolatier Delicious Donald (Branson Reese) down to Marsus-4 for an away mission. But will they find the galaxium they're looking for? Or will they find lots of marvelous trea…

1
The Nephews 1:20:28

11M ago1:20:28

1:20:28

50th Episode! When a mysterious warning is issued for Deck 52, brothers Rupert (Christopher Hastings), Dupert (Carly Monardo), and Poopert (Branson Reese) take the case! But are they in over their feathered heads? Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. You can go listen to all …

1
[Patreon Preview] Spacemellow Hollow 5:27

12M ago5:27

5:27

When a mysterious door appears before three Cavalier crewmembers, they find themselves freed from the hustle-bustle of the galaxy. Each is faced with a momentous choice. Will Werimether (Christopher Hastings) choose to live as a Mage of Good Fortune? Will Groomda (Tim Platt) find love? And will ship's Actor Hercules EGOT (Branson Reese) find a stag…

1
Incident on the Humphrey 1:19:38

1y ago1:19:38

1:19:38

It's probably Gelmire. With Ali Fisher as Charity Mesterfield, Branson Reese as Guy Normal, Carly Monardo as Scandal, Christopher Hastings as Dr. Dewey, Taylor Moore as Tuscaloosa Casketshowroom, and Tim Platt as *gulp* Gelmire Lysander. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EPISODE EVERY MONTH for patrons only. Y…

1
Fightstar 1:12:15

1y ago1:12:15

1:12:15

Every 8 years, the deadliest lifeforms of the galaxy gather to determine the next champion. The Great Tournament is secret. Deadly. Illegal. Kind of hot? Brutal. Its name is only whispered, for fear of a karate chop to the skull. That name? FIGHTSTAR. *Thwack* *Narrator Dies* This years combatants? Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese). Groomda (Tim Platt…

1
[Patreon Preview] The Legend of Sleepy Fellow 7:00

1y ago7:00

7:00

Though beloved members of our heroic crew, sometimes officers Clare President (Taylor Moore) and Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) can feel like outsiders. And when the ship's hot new schoolmaster, Ichabod Crane (Branson Reese) threatens Rip's status as "Ship's Public Domain Washington Irving Character Brought to Life", he starts to wonder, do I belong he…

1
Gigantix 1:14:53

1y ago1:14:53

1:14:53

Gigantix. The name itself causes hearts across the galaxy to flutter with wonder and adventure. The ship of dreams. The voyager of miracles. The Jewel of the Correxian-Vermont Alliance. The finest and largest starship ever built. On a ship this perfect, they don't even need to bother with escape pods!! [note to self- insert more obvious foreshadowi…

1
Collector's Edition 1:00:00

1y ago1:00:00

1:00:00

Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore). Dr. Thomas Dewey (Christopher Hastings). Groomda (Tim Platt). Three of the finest officers to ever serve aboard the Cavalier. Three heroes who have risked their lives to explore the galaxy. Three legends...on a daring quest...for missing stuff. Join our Patreon now for tons more stuff, including AN ENTIRE ADDITIONAL EP…

1
Yonder Stormzone 1:12:31

1y ago1:12:31

1:12:31

A hunt for a fresh navcomputer leads Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) to MaxMax-3, a bleak desert world where only the strong survive. Here, laws and manners have been gutted and left for dead by the side of the road, replaced by steel and leather. And if our heroes are ever going to …

1
[Patreon Preview] Top of the Computer To Ya 4:41

1y ago4:41

4:41

When the crew of the Cavalier discovers a shipwreck in deep space with ties to their past, you won't be shocked to learned they send an away team to check it out. Including our heroes Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Legs Loveless (Taylor Moore), and Scorpio Ni-Yeer (Branson Reese). But what happens next? Something you never thought possible. It will tak…

1
The Normal Show 1:25:56

1+ y ago1:25:56

1:25:56

Ah, Starhaven. A simple, happy community, and the perfect place to raise a family, like loving siblings Groomda (Tim Platt), Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese). And don't forget their talking cat, Chestershire (Ali Fisher)! Oh? What's that impossible dream they all shared, of serving aboard a starship travelling across …

1
[Patreon Preview] The Wa of Aqua 6:14

1+ y ago6:14

6:14

While the crew mourns a fallen comrade, duty still calls for Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Clare President (Taylor Moore). And, with the Cavalier's water reserves running low, they are sent- where else? AQUWORLD. Hope everything goes...swimmingly. To hear the rest of this episode, and all of our bonus content…

1
Mothers and Brothers 1:29:42

1+ y ago1:29:42

1:29:42

Following the discovery of a long-lost android brother, Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings) works tirelessly to revive this unexpected family link, ignoring all distractions, like Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese) and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt). But will Threadcount ever find a way to power on his robotic sibling Scion (Taylor Moore)? And will this b…

1
[Patreon Preview] What's My Mage Again? 8:21

1+ y ago8:21

8:21

When their old Professor pays a visit to the Cavalier, Deremith, the Mage of Good Fortune (Ali Fisher), and Werimether, the Mage of Ill Portent (Christopher Hastings) are thrilled to reminisce about their school days. But when little bambino Limoncello (Taylor Moore) enters the picture, surely nothing will go wrong. With all that awesome power and …

1
Yuletide Kombat Family: CHEF EDITION 1:33:22

1+ y ago1:33:22

1:33:22

Yuletide Kombat Family is a game where holiday themed characters fight to save Christmas. This time, however, the These Those crew puts a whole new spin on the word “SEASON” looooooool! You’ll figure it out once you listen! I love you! Produced [and this episode description written -.ed] by Tim Platt (Baby Groomda, Gene Lime) with additional music …

1
Missionary Impossible 1:12:54

1+ y ago1:12:54

1:12:54

It's high stakes on the Illegal Moon of Scrutum-6, where adventurers Cheredith Mesterfield (Ali Fisher) and her trusty Spacehorse Scandal (Carly Monardo) make a rendezvous with undercover allies Backyard Pyle (Taylor Moore) and Begonia Bloodterror (Christopher Hastings) on a dangerous mission. But they'll need every bit of luck they can find, if th…

1
Game, Cube 1:08:56

1+ y ago1:08:56

1:08:56

With errands to run, Ensign Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Vape Salesman Carboat Bin Laden (Taylor Moore), hope to squeeze in a little fun while on the Gaming Moon of Scrutum-6. Let's just hope there's no one waiting down there with a a score to settle. And no, we don't mean a video game score. Branson Reese (Rude Tales of Magic, FX's Swan Boy) a…

1
Backdecks 1:17:08

1+ y ago1:17:08

1:17:08

When the Cavalier's most-eligible Bachelorette, Vestavia Casketshowroom (Carly Monardo), crosses paths with its most-affianced ensign, Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), will Gelmire's love for Meredith Chesterfield be put to the test? And with Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) playing cupid, does Gelmire even stand a chance? BEEP BEEP!! HOLIDAY MERCH N…

1
[Patreon Preview] See You in Hell 3:09

1+ y ago3:09

3:09

When a Vanguard Commbadge is detected on the dangerous and mysterious planet Lucifar, it's up to Baron Baudelaire (Taylor Moore) and Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), the Cavalier's most devilish crew, to solve the mystery. A mission to the most hellish planet in the galaxy? It's times like this they wish ship martyr Eusebius Carter (Tim Platt) was st…

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Cold Spring School Podcasts

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