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Become a Calm Mama is a parenting podcast where you learn practical parenting tools and strategies so you can stop yelling, feel more calm, and show up as the mom you want to be. Darlynn is the top parenting coach for moms who want to know exactly how to handle misbehavior and create a peaceful home. Darlynn is known for her practical strategies and a down to earth understanding of what it’s really like to be a mom raising kids in the 21st century. Over the past 14 years, Darlynn has dedicat ...
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Cultivating a screen free mindset is the first step to helping your kids develop a healthy relationship with technology. Today, you’ll learn what it means to have a screen free mindset (it doesn’t mean no screens ever!) and how to get started setting new limits with your family. You’ll learn: The problems with too much screen time Screen time best …
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During the summer, kids have the opportunity for more leisure time, free play and creativity. But as a parent, you might not like the way your kid acts when they’re bored. In this episode, you’ll learn why encouraging boredom is a good thing and how you can feel more at peace when your kids are bored, dysregulated and frustrated this summer. You’ll…
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We know that play is fun, but there is so much more to it than that. Today, I’m talking about the importance of play-based childhoods, why our society has moved away from them and some strategies to bring play back into your family and create a play-based childhood for your kid. You’ll Learn: The importance of play for our kids Why play is a challe…
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Who better to talk about strategies for grandparents, than one of the best grandparents I know? I’m so excited to have my mother-in-law, Judie Childress, on the podcast with me today talking all about how parenting has changed over the years and what happens when the worlds of parenting and grandparenting collide. You’ll Learn: How my mother-in-law…
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If you’re anything like me, you sometimes find yourself feeling grumpy, discontent or dissatisfied. And you’d rather be feeling joy, hope, trust or safety. Today, I’m sharing my step-by-step process for how to shift any mood. You’ll Learn: My step-by-step process to shift any mood Why we tend to slip into negative moods How your thoughts help creat…
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Summer Break can somehow be both easier and more stressful for parents. Create a rhythm and make sure your kid’s (and your) needs are met with these 7 family essentials this summer. You’ll Learn: The 7 essential ingredients every family needs to thrive Why boredom is super important and how to deal with it How to troubleshoot when your kid is compl…
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Inspired by the Netflix documentary “Stutz”, these 3 unavoidable aspects of parenting are actually unavoidable aspects of life. They’re universal truths that we all have to deal with as humans. You’ll Learn: The 3 unavoidable aspects of parenting (and life) The lies we tell ourselves that keep us doing more, more, more How to cope with pain, uncert…
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There are 4 primary parenting styles out there, but they aren’t all completely separate from each other. Like so many other things, they exist on a spectrum. You might fall into different parenting styles in different stages or situations. You’ll Learn: The 4 main parenting styles, and how to recognize when you are using each one The benefits of au…
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I’m a little fired up on this one, so get ready! Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve read a few different headlines that have gotten me really mad, because these articles want to blame parents for pretty much every societal problem. I want to let you know that you don't have to pay attention to these kinds of headlines and articles that want to bla…
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Mother’s Day is coming. And if you've had a few Mother's Days that end with you getting into bed feeling totally wiped out and resentful, this podcast episode is for you. I’m talking all about how to create your best Mother’s Day plan for a day you actually enjoy! You’ll Learn: Why Mother’s Day can be so hard Steps for creating your best Mother’s D…
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Today, we’re focusing on being on the same page as your coparent with limits and consequences. You’ll Learn: Why learning to regulate your emotions is like learning to read and write 3 coparenting scenarios and how to navigate them What to do when you’re not on board with your coparent’s limits & consequences The good news about your relationship w…
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I’m often asked, “How do you handle it when your husband or your coparent isn't on board?” or, “How do you handle it when you're divorced and you don't know what's going on with the other parent?” In this first episode of a two-part series, I’ll start answering these questions and share some essential conversations to have with your coparent. You’l…
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We all know that parenting is enough of a challenge on its own, but what about when you’re coparenting with an abusive ex, someone who may be acting more for themselves than the best interest of your kid? My guest, Lisa Johnson, is a certified domestic violence advocate and the cofounder of a divorce coaching program called Been There Got Out. We’r…
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I often talk about parenting the kid in front of you, not the one you wish you had or the one you’re afraid they’ll become. Today, I’ll explain three thoughts that you’ve probably experienced when you don’t like your kid’s behavior or parts of their personality, why judgments about your kid aren’t helpful and what to do instead. You’ll Learn: The p…
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When kids lie, it can feel personal or like a moral issue. But just like so many other challenging behaviors, it is a strategy that your child uses to communicate their negative emotion. It’s normal kid behavior (not a character flaw). In this episode, I’ll share a handful of common reasons kids (or anyone for that matter) lie, why trying to get th…
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Hearing your kid say, “I hate you” can be one of the hardest things to hear as a parent. Today, I’m giving you tangible, easy to apply strategies for handling “I hate you,” including ways to feel less upset by it and change the pattern. In this episode: Why kids say, “I hate you,” even though they don’t really mean it How to protect your feelings W…
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I want you to feel really great as a parent. I want you to get out of mom guilt and instead feel a deep sense of calm. This calm leads to confidence, compassion for your kids, clarity on what you should do, and so many other good things. What I've noticed, though, is that when moms first come to me, they often feel really embarrassed that they are …
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Make Any Relationship Better with Maggie Reyes
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My guest, marriage coach Maggie Reyes, and I are talking about the 4 essential elements of a great relationship, how they apply to marriage, parenting, and all types of relationships. Plus, we dive into how to reconnect with your spouse when you feel like you’ve been drifting apart and why they don’t have to change for your relationship to feel bet…
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If you’re tired of repeating yourself, yelling, punishing and keeping up with the dreaded sticker chart, I want you to know that there is a new way of parenting - one that actually works. Listen to learn: Why your kids don’t do what you tell them to (and you end up yelling) The 4 steps of the Calm Mama Process My favorite sentence for validating fe…
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When I first became a parent coach, I talked a lot with moms about how feelings matter. Over the past 15 years, I’ve seen a shift. Now there's a lot of awareness about emotions and validation, but I find myself talking more and more about how important it is to have consequences and teach kids that their behavior has an impact. In this episode, you…
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I’m just gonna say it. Parenting is confusing! There are a lot of decisions to make, and you want to be an amazing mom for your kid. In this episode, I’ll explain why parenting is so confusing and offer some words of encouragement that I hope will make you realize that you’re already doing a great job. We’ll talk about: Why parenting is confusing (…
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If you’re a mom, you know there are times when you don’t like your kid. Of course, you always love and care about them and want what’s best for them, but there are also tough stages or times when they’re showing up in ways you just really don’t like. This happens to parents all the time, but it’s something we hardly ever talk about (because we’re a…
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You’ve probably heard about the value of play for kids, but did you know that it’s just as important for adults? Today, I’m joined by TJ Matton, who helps people find enjoyment in the everyday, playful ways to manage stress, and empowering ways to greater fulfillment. You’ll Learn: The value of play - for kids and adults alike Why we stop playing i…
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You know how some moms’ kids seem to listen to them and others don’t? What is it that makes some kids listen and follow directions more than others? What is it that allows the parent to have more ease in those moments? I believe leadership has a huge impact. In today’s episode, I’m talking about leadership energy in parenting and how it can shift t…
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Teaching Kids To Love Their Bodies with Victoria Yates
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Victoria Yates is back on the podcast today to talk with me about teaching kids to love their bodies and have a great relationship with food and their bodies. We’re addressing some of the challenges and fears that we face as parents, how society has told us to view our bodies, and then she’ll share some strategies to help you support your kid’s hea…
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Over the past 15 years, I’ve seen a shift in our society’s approach to parenting. We’re moving away from punishment and shame and toward compassion (I love it!!). But gentle parenting has its pitfalls, too. Today, I’m talking about why consequences matter and how you can use natural and logical consequences to help your child understand and take re…
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We all have them, those days when things are going well, you’re having a nice day with the kids and things feel easy…But then a switch gets flipped and everything goes to crap. In this episode, you’ll learn my process for resetting crappy moments so you can get back to feeling calm and connected (and maybe even have a little fun!). I know firsthand…
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In compassionate parenting, we talk a lot about emotions. In today’s episode I’m explaining the 5 emotional needs of kids, how unmet needs show up in behavior and how you can support your child’s emotional health. In last week’s Parenting 101 episode, I talked about the core needs of attachment and authenticity for humans, including how we can teac…
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As we kick off 2024, it seemed like a good time to return to the basics of compassionate parenting. Plus, “Parenting 101” is a really fun title for our 101st episode! Today, I’ll walk you through some foundational principles and invite you to think about what you want to focus on as a parent this year. The Basics of Human Needs In his book, The Myt…
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Welcome to our 100th episode of Become a Calm Mama! Today, I’m getting pretty personal about things I experienced in my childhood and how trauma informed my parenting. We’ll also talk about some ways to feel better and heal from traumatic experiences in your past. I also have my best friend, Tiffany Howsam, here with me today. Tiffany is a licensed…
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In today’s episode, I’ll give you 4 winter break tips for you and 4 tips for your kids. You’ll learn strategies to take better care of yourself, feel less overwhelmed, be compassionate with your kids and reduce meltdowns. Winter break can be hard for us and our kids. What often happens is we sort of just start going into the holiday season and wint…
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Whether it’s during the holidays or just on the drive to or from school, meltdowns and tantrums are part of parenting life. In this short and sweet episode, you’ll learn why tantrums happen and get tools and tips for how to handle a meltdown, help your kid deal with the impact of their behavior and cut down the frequency, duration and intensity of …
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As we head into the holiday season, I want to give you some ways to prepare your nervous system for ALL the things coming your way. With all of the holiday buildup, family visits and kids being home for winter break, your nervous system is going to get activated and you're going to need to work harder to reset it. You’ve probably heard me talk abou…
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Navigating Grief as a Parent with Leslie Gelfand
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This episode is coming out on Thanksgiving Day, and the holiday season is officially here. But sometimes, as humans, we’re in pain even when we are doing celebratory things. Today, my friend and grief coach, Leslie Gelfand, is here to talk about navigating grief as a parent, especially around the holidays. As a grief recovery specialist, Leslie hel…
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Thanksgiving is about a week away here in the U.S. This is a day that can be challenging for kids and adults alike, so today’s episode will help you to prepare yourself and your family to have a calm Thanksgiving with kids. Think back to the past few Thanksgivings. How did they go? Were there some things you’d like to change (or was it just a compl…
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Social Engineering in Parenting with Jennifer Delliquadri
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Today’s episode is a collaboration with my friend, Jennifer Delliquadri, and her podcast Raising Happy Teens. We’re diving into the concept of social engineering in parenting and the urge we often feel to shield our kids from discomfort and keep them on the “right” path. My guest, Jennifer Delliquadri, is a life coach for teenagers and their parent…
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Cold and flu season is here, and it’s just a reality that kids get sick a lot (which can be really stressful for parents). Today, I’ll help you manage when kids are sick at home. While taking care of sick kids is a part of parenting, it is also a big disruption to your life. And if they’re not sleeping well, it can be pretty exhausting, too. In thi…
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I admit, I’m a little obsessed with the Enneagram. And, of course, I’m also obsessed with tools that can help you in parenting. Today, we’re combining the two (along with some expert advice) on parenting with the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a personality test that explains how we react to and relate with the world. In this episode, my guest TJ will…
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Today on Become A Calm Mama, we’re diving deep into the topic of bullying. Bullying can be a difficult and painful experience for kids and parents alike. None of us want our kids to be the bully, and we also don’t want them to be bullied. Today, I’ll describe what bullying actually is (and what it is not) and help you learn to spot the risk factors…
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Understanding ADHD in kids and how to best support them can be pretty overwhelming (I know from experience), so today I’m so excited to have an expert here with me to help you through it! Lainie Donnell is an educational therapist, a college counselor, and the cofounder of Lila Learning. For the past 16 years, Lainie has been in private practice as…
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Today (for the first time ever!) I’ve invited a couple of mamas onto the podcast to tell their stories of taking the Emotionally Healthy Kids parenting class. I am so excited for you to hear straight from other moms who have been exactly where you might be right now. They’ll tell you all about why they signed up, their experience in the class and t…
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Whether you call it a tantrum, meltdown or big feeling cycle, I think we can agree that these moments are overwhelming and stressful (for you and your kid). On today’s episode, we’re talking about what to do during a meltdown and the steps to co-regulation, which allows you to calm yourself and your kid at the same time. If you're like most parents…
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This is the podcast where you learn how to become a calm parent and raise emotionally healthy kids, but what do emotional health and emotional regulation actually mean? Today I’m sharing a framework from the book, “What Happened To You?” and outlining the 3 Rs of emotional regulation. You can start using these simple concepts right away to help cal…
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What’s going on in the adolescent brain? SO much! Between ages 12 and 24 (give or take a year or two), the brain goes through a major remodel. Last week, I talked about how puberty is triggered by changes in hormone levels. Today, we’re diving into another process happening within the adolescent brain called pruning. I’ll help you understand the br…
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Today we’re talking about puberty. If you have a tween or teen (or even a slightly younger kid), this episode is going to be so helpful. Our kids go through a lot of changes during puberty, so I’m helping you to understand what is actually going on in their bodies and with their hormones and how you can support your child through it all. What Is Pu…
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Better Conversations With Teens And Tweens
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Today, we’re talking about having better conversations with your teens and tweens. How can you continue to feel connected to your kid during this time when it’s so easy to drift apart? I know that you don’t want your relationship to be adversarial and to feel really disconnected, but this often happens in the middle school and high school years. Yo…
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2 Keys To My Parenting "Success": Lessons Learned from Taking My Child to College
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What does “success” really look like in parenting? What is the end goal? What are we doing all this for? In this episode, I’m debriefing a huge step in my parenting journey and sharing two keys that have shaped my experience as a parent and my relationship with my kids. Yesterday I dropped off my oldest son for his first year of college – and trans…
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As we gear up for a new school year, I’m sharing some of my own tried-and-true routines and rhythms for simplifying your daily life. We’re talking mornings, afternoons, dinnertime and more, with tips geared toward families with elementary and middle school age kids. You’ll hear tips that worked for our family, why I made those decisions and how the…
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Today, I want to introduce you to (or bring you deeper into) the transformative world of inner child work. By soothing and addressing the pain and unmet needs from our own childhoods, we can discover profound healing and self-compassion. I’ll walk you through some simple exercises you can try to be kinder to yourself and explore how the concept of …
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The new school year is starting soon, and I want you to be ready! In this episode, I’m sharing my back to school checklist - not for school supplies and new clothes, but to set you up for more peace this school year. I hope this will help you to feel like the leader in your life and give you more room in your life for fun, ease and joy. Your Back T…
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