Drew Toothpaste Podcasts

What happens when you shoot a UFO 1,400 times and it flies off without complaint, in front of thousands of onlookers? The Battle Of LA took place in 1942, and reveals the bizarre nature of unidentified aerial phenomena. We give you the evidence, including a strikingly similar case from over 400 years ago, and let you decide whether or not it was “j…

Unearthed in Belize in the 1920s, this crystal skull purportedly imbued its owner with powers and enabled her to live to the age of exactly 100. We find out the truth behind this famous skull and others unearthed over time, and reveal the legend of what happens when all 13 of these skulls are reunited. Becoming a patron of GBU/Everything Is Real gi…

In 1984-5, a schoolteacher began receiving messages on his computer from a man living in 1574… and, then, messages from someone in the year 2109. We examine this, and the related paranormal activity surrounding the arrival of Ye Mysticyl Boxxe Of Lightes Upon Which A Manne Can Engrave Lettyrs, in today’s Everything Is Real. Not a patron? We need yo…

The famous Ziggurat of Ur may contain a wormhole (“stargate”) that allows travel through time and space. Did the US wage the Iraq war to take control of it? Where are the other wormholes? And why did the Sumerians build it in the first place? We investigate these questions, plus what happens when the EMP destroys all of our data, why you can put tr…

The Travis Walton abduction case is one of the most well-documented of the 1970s, and today, we dig into the evidence. Why did the aliens heal him aboard their craft? Who was paid off to “debunk” the case? And what was network television’s motive in having him play a game show, decades later? We reveal all this and more in today’s free episode. Not…

Today, we bring you the Hopkinsville Goblin case, one of the most compelling extraterrestrial/interdimensional beings discovered in the 20th century. For hours, these goblins tormented a farm family in rural Kentucky. Where were they from? How did they get here? And how did Pokemon take this famous cryptid sighting and turn it into Sableye? We answ…

John Titor came from the year 2036 and may have changed our timeline. He was a child soldier who fought in the New American Civil War, and predicted the Y2K disaster, Mad Cow Disease, and World War III. Did he change our timeline? Is the current state of affairs the result of meddling in cosmic destiny by a soldier from the not-so-far-flung future?…

After WWII, the Nazis dispersed across the earth like dandelion fluff. Did some of them end up in Antarctica? We investigate today, along with the details on Operation Paperclip, Bob Lazar’s involvement in Nazi technology, foo fighters (the UFOs, not the band,) the Nazi UFO crash in 1965, Operation Highjump, why the toothbrush moustache is coming b…

The portal that Jack Parsons and Aleister Crowley opened may have ushered in the age of UFOs... and may have been the first sighting of what most call a "grey alien" today. We went deep on the rituals they used to do this, investigated the links between alien sex rituals and quantum mechanics, and tell you how to summon an alien yourself. For more …

What is a Marian apparition? What should you do if one appears to you? And why does the Virgin Mary tell you the same things that aliens do when they appear? We’ve put together compelling evidence that the Virgin Mary apparitions seen around the world are, in fact, extraterrestrial beings. Listen now. If you missed our episode on why the Galactic F…

Bigfoot has been part of human culture since prehistory, and we dig into the mysteries surrounding this legendary creature in today’s Everything Is Real. If you’re interested in Sasquatch, you’ve already picked apart the Paterson Film and read about Ray Wallace, but we go deeper, investigating Bigfoot’s ties to Hinduism, extraterrestrials, consciou…

We investigated the idea that archons are using the negative emotions of Planet Earth (“loosh”) as food. Reptilians, aliens, interdimensional entities, Annunaki, and who knows what else may be sucking down your very own sadness for their own uses. We consulted Robert Monroe, the Nag Hammadi, simulation theory, fractal similarities, biological evide…

Today, we learn how people spontaneously catch on fire, and why. Join us as we review the history of spontaneous human combustion from the 1400s to the present day, discuss the thermodynamic viability of a human catching fire, and lay out the evidence for why spontaneous human combustion is real. You can help us keep making GBU and Everything Is Re…

The Georgia Guidestones were blown up this year, presumably by activists who believed they were part of a plot involving mass depopulation and eugenics. But were they really? We dug into the hidden history of the Guidestones, their builders, their message, and revealed who really wanted these things wiped from the face of the earth. Half of our Eve…

Why do people think the royal family isn’t fully human? We investigate the rumors and facts surrounding the House Of Windsor, including their infallibility to human law, the alien-human hybridization program, their mysterious health problems, vampirism, and the bombshell discovery that ties the Royal Family to the political structure of the USA. If…

Whoa! Everything Is Real! In today’s episode, we’re talking about dreams that predict reality, ontology, the history of questioning reality, why you can’t trust your eyes, materialism, idealism, Descartes, Monty Hall, Einstein, simulation theory, monks who dream, and what happens outside of the present moment. Everything Is Real is brought to you b…

What are llamas? Are they bussin? Why do people use them for therapy? What is it like to be a llama? And why are they two of people? We answer your deepest, darkest llama questions in today’s episode. Also: You need to upgrade to being a patron, so you can get our next miniseries, which starts NEXT WEEK. You’re missing half of the episodes we recor…

Air: it’s all over! We talked about what’s in it (magically and otherwise) but more importantly, we bring you the unheard story of Cube Man. You’ll have to listen to understand why. Not a paying patron/subscriber? You need to do that, because you missed our cat episode (GBU 309) which you’ll only get if you pay, along with over 150 other paid episo…

Axolotl genes, touching animals, hairless cats, how to regrow an eyeball (if you’re a human,) how to regrow other stuff (if you’re an axolotl,) and the weird experiments people have done with axolotls. Plus, the one weird secret you actually for sure didn’t know about axolotls! Listen now. Are you not a patron yet? You need to hop on that soon (hit…

We answer all your questions about nuts and inhabiting a corporeal form on today’s GBU. “Wait! Natalie and Drew! You didn’t answer my question! I didn’t even know I could ask questions to be included on the show!” That’s because you’re not in our Discord. Follow the instructions in the episode or click the “Upgrate To Paid” button to join us there.…

We learn about laundry today, from ancient to modern times. Plus: why you don't have to wash your pants, what you can (and can't) throw away, the Soylent guy and his Engineer Brain, terpenes, soap, and what happens when you eat a mango like an apple. Not subscribed? Do that if you want in on our live trivia matches, chat room, and the 150 patron-on…

Cigarette breaks, parasols, why Drew always has an umbrella, why Natalie never does, basements, golf, umbrella-based weapons, fake cigarettes, and the like. Feeling like you’re missing something? You are. As a non-patron you’re only getting half of the possible Garbage Brain University episodes. To listen to the 150(!) episodes you’ve missed, as we…

Flies: our opinions on them, your opinions on them, what to do about the Antarctica Problem, how they relate to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, why they eat shit, how to train mice, why maggots may be Actually Good, and more. Hey, if you’re not a subscriber, now is probably the time, because we could use your help to keep GBU going! Hit the “Subsc…

How to be a parent in the 1980s, getting the runs, Humbos (new invention,) the Drinky Rink, and more cookie-based experiences and inventions, all for you, today. Subscribing here or elsewhere gives you access to the Discord, which is our members-only live trivia game and chat room. Join now and you can discuss today’s episode live with Drew & Natal…

What makes a neighbor a neighbor? What makes a suburb a suburb? Why do they keep putting those five-story buildings made out of toothpicks everywhere? And how do you manipulate city council to do your bidding? These, and thousands of other questions, are answered in this very episode. Subscribe now to keep us writing, researching, and recording Gar…

Hot dogs are America’s favorite dog, like it or not! We talk pork, beef, and vegetable dogs, along with eating from the bulk bins, why humans can’t figure out how to eat, the art of splitting something exactly in half, and why no one would ever vote for Natalie. Also: the allure of being by yourself. You’ll have to listen to this one. We’ve been pl…

When’s the last time you went bowling? We talked about improving this ancient game, why presidents love it, how to use Flonase the right way (not how you think!) and how Drew once dated a cake farter. Help us keep making GBU by subscribing (you’re missing half our episodes!) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this w…

In today’s long-awaited episode, we cover remote viewing, the CIA, the Stargate program, the simulation we’re probably stuck inside, apps that let you remote view, and why you’re mostly not human to begin with. All of the supplemental materials to today’s show are posted to Discord, where other listeners are talking about remote viewing at this ver…

Centipedes! They’re mysterious, and good for the earth even if they’re disgusting. Actually, they might not be good for the earth. They might be woated. Patrons (paid subscribers) get more than free members, like over 140 episodes that are patron-only and our Discord community with bonus content and extras (as well as a chat room.) Subscribe now to…

Cue the stock circus music! We dive into the history of circuses, and the history of people doing dumb things outside of the circus. On top of the very most obvious aspects of circuses, we covered cow bingo, togas, circus aesthetics, object manipulation, and the crowning question of all: Why Don’t People Do Anything Anymore? Subscribe/become a patr…

Eating wildlife raw, monetizing jellyfish, and how jellyfish even move around in the first place. Also: why some of them are immortal, what they do all day, what mysteries they keep in their sacs and nodules, and what baby chicks have to do with all of this. You’re missing MAYLIEN, our groundbreaking miniseries on aliens, if you’re not subscribed. …

Emotions: experiments, how to keep them mellow, how to Ben Franklin them, and more. But more importantly: You are seriously fucking up right now by not subscribing/becoming a patron, because RIGHT THIS MOMENT, we’re running a new miniseries called MAYLIEN. For the entire month of May, subscribers and patrons get our deep look into Roswell, close en…

Why the Cincinnati Castle is for idiots! Also: White Castle, sandcastles, bunkers, moats, woods, and all of the dirty business of castles, old and new. Please subscribe so that we can continue to pay the Garbage Brain University research team and write/record these episodes! You’ll get over 130 episodes you haven’t heard, plus access to our secret …

Why nothing humans make will last, why spiders are the worst bugs, why people perceive almost nothing, how spiders make silk, the ongoing cloaca situation, and what humans could do if we could make thread. Plus Imposter Syndrome, aliens changing our DNA, and the true purpose of all the plastic we make, micro or macro. Please subscribe, by the way. …

Blood tests, birds exploding, and other reasons not to like weddings. Hit the “subscribe now” button to access the 136 paid episodes plus our Discord chatroom. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.garbagebrainuniversity.com/subscribe…

Pigeon races, camel races, racewalking, swimming, nude biking, and all the other races that have ever existed. Which one would you be in? If you’re not a patron/subscriber you’re missing 135 premium-only episodes which you can access immediately by clicking the “Subscribe Now” button: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to disc…

Would you become a cannibal? We talk about all the important parts of cannibalism: bioaccumulation, taste, Big Lurch, Christ Bearer, and chickens eating chickens. Also, prions, pour-overs, and the shit tree. Not a subscriber? Support GBU by giving us five dollars and you’ll be rewarded with 134 paid-patron-only episodes plus access to our secret Di…

People love hippos… but should they? We look deeply into the hippo-dolphin connection, why they spray feces, why Drew doesn’t believe in wind chill, and why people love the lowest common denominator. Also: GG Allin, ancient zoos, muting people, and sleeping in the bathtub. Please consider supporting GBU since you listen to it and love it. A patrona…

But first, books: what came before them? Who invented them (not Gutenberg, obviously?) Who invented spaces between words? Why did the Roman Empire fall? Why are we here? What comes after this? In ten, a thousand, a million, a trillion years? Subscribe now (instant access to the 132 odd-numbered episodes you’ve never heard) please. • natalie & drew …

Emojis, in their short life online, have accomplished a lot. We talked our favorite emojis, “internet tone,” why they don’t have a nose, passive aggression, why the smiley face is copyrighted, Natalie’s idea for a mobile game, and 🆗. Not subscribed? You’re missing half of our episodes and our secret chat-room/group-game hub. Subscribe now to join u…

Hey, we’ve gotta talk about something important: we need your help to keep making Garbage Brain University, and the only way you can help is by becoming a patron/subscriber. Hit the “Subscribe Now” button and you’ll be instantly rewarded with 130 subscriber-only episodes, but you’ll also have helped us to continue researching, writing, and recordin…

How many twins are there? Why do mammals have them? And what goes down at the Kentucky Pig Derby? We answer questions on these, dox the Dick Boys, and Drew creates a plan for neighbors to raise children more efficiently. All in today’s free episode. Want to listen to the episodes we publish for subscribers only? The 129 full-length episodes you’ve …

Welcome to the shitty holiday season! We talked about why they’re usually on Monday, why Natalie likes Flag Day, why Drew hates the flag, mini eggs, Bezos, Columbus Day, Jack Nicklaus, and the secret of the Seychelles. Please subscribe so that we may continue making more of these: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss …

Anteaters: I don’t like the look of them! Giant anteaters, silky anteaters, what the Wall Street Journal thinks of us, why Salvador Dali had an anteater, how they make more anteaters, and all about their insanely weird tongue. Subscribe now to help us keep making more Garbage Brain University! • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d lik…

What is Reality Television? We take a look at the metaphysics of reality television, the Great Reality TV Con, linguistic shifts in confined populations, cops, and give you the details of our brand-new reality TV show. Subscribe to hear more episodes & join our community: • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with…

Get in touch with dirt! Natalie & Drew talk about gardening, plastic animals, rosemary, the heaven of a huge dirt pile, and what happens when you buy a raw whole chicken from Amazon. You’re still listening to us talk and it’s been 250 episodes, so you clearly love it, and we dearly need your support, and you’ll get twice as many episodes, so please…

Having a great time with lizards! (Just kidding, lizards aren’t any fun.) Why Natalie doesn’t want to touch them, what Drew’s lizard was like, a lizard quiz, and the answers to all the lizard questions you’ve ever had. Subscribe and you’ll keep us making more (and hear the 124 episodes that you have to pay to hear.) • natalie & drew This is a publi…

What do beavers smell like? Who is more pious, Drew or Natalie? And how do you hold a beaver? Also: high risk texting, beaver dams, human nature, Jeff Bezos’s space lie, Keyboard Cat, zoomer pants, and thousands of other facts and ideas. Subscribe for more. • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscrib…

Welcome to 2022! We talk septic tanks, garbage disposals, not pooping on trips, boycotts, pony kegs, and why we’re not any smarter than ancient people. Also: the first quiz of the year! Subscribe for more episodes (there are over 120 you haven’t heard.) • natalie & drew This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers …

Time loss! Time dilation! And actual time travel. We talk about these as well as aliens’ ability to time travel, the Vatican’s chronovisor, John Titor, magick as relating to the wave function, gravitational waves, time as a single point, and the rat experiment that may have proved global consciousness is possible. Not a subscriber? You’re missing t…