Goddamnit, we missed the "not my first rodeo" jokes. They were right there. "If I asked people what they wanted, they would have said smaller, wetter animals." - Henry Ford Letter one: I don't want my sister pulling a coyote act at the wedding Letter two: Recovering from an Awkward Lie Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good…

Please speak to a doctor if you or a loved one have been unhealthed. Letter one: Help! I’m Sick of My Boyfriend Always Being Sick! Letter two: Why Am I Addicted To Buying Figurative Painting? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://p…

"I'm normal." - Amelia You can stick a Coexist bumper sticker on a tortoise. They won't notice. Letter one: I Think My Husband’s Constant Demand to Get a Dog Is Sexist Letter two: A husband took his wife’s maiden name as his middle name — but did she uphold her part of the bargain? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lif…

"More wolves!" - Gabriella Everyone knows the opposite of sugar is onions, right? Letter one: I Think My Partner’s Reason for Suddenly Wanting Kids Might Be Racist Letter two: Dream Retriever: Being reminded of what’s important Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime…

Consider: The Portrait Of Dorian Goof. Letter one: Overwhelmed by Ice Cream Letter two: Just a Dab Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/wtto/support

Grandpop's in the memory hole, sorry. Sorry, but grandpop's in the hole now. Letter one: Help! My Daughter Won’t Talk to Me Because I Left Her Dog Out of My Will. Letter two: Heartbroken Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://podcas…

Stop what you are doing and record yourself saying "Proorb." Email that recording to welltakethisone@gmail.com. Thank you for your collaboration. Letter one: Don't Worry About That Orb—It's Likely A Spirit Letter two: Help, I’m Losing My Friends To Streaming Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabri…

Whether trampled by ferrets or pursued by tiny cars, childhood wonderment is all Alex desires. Letter one: Finder's Keepers? Letter two: Tired of “Moocher” Son-In-Law Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod…

Inexplicable decisions by husbands and ex-coworkers haunt and torment your hosts today on WTTO. Letter one: Man's Territorial Imperative Takes Place in His Front Yard Letter two: My Former Coworker Wants My Company To Sponsor Her Party Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slas…

We get a lil' silly with this one. Keepin' it caj. Cas'? Casual. Gabriella: do not go to the beach during a lightning storm. We are begging you. Letter one: Cleaning Up After Adult Son And His Girlfriend Letter two: Help! My Roommate Didn’t Come Home One Night. So I Told Her Family She Was Missing. Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten M…

Sorry about the extended break while Alex's computer was in the shop! We'll be back to our (more or less) weekly schedule now. Teenagers be problematizing! Yes they do! And rich people? Ooh, buddy, they just can't make us care about their problems. Gabriella has a lot to say about 16th century Italian politics. Alex has less to say about a painting…

Amelia presents her unified theory of the Midwest as we finally get into North American geography. Again. Plus: Dr. Nerdlove, the geek who fucks. Also: Alex does a small labor practices rant. Letter one: What Do You Do About the One Friend You Can’t Stand? Letter two: Why Is My Life So Perfect? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me Wi…

What IS a Canada anyway? And what is to be done about a precarious boy advice columnist 60 years ago who grew up to be a nightmare person? To handle these questions of youth and young canhood, we brought on young Canadian person and recording artist Sam Aleums. "You Know You Love It!" Letter one: I have a really interesting homework assignment. Let…

Yeah, they're still letting Alex name the episodes. After a healthy amount of jazz patter and chocolate thoughts, the three friends talk secret children and their effect on capEx v. OpEx or whatever. Plus, the long-awaited(?) return of Jackie Bryson: Dream Retriever. Letter one: I’m Working Remotely. Can I Keep Hiding My Secret Baby? Letter two: Co…

Can we trust professors to have normal conversations at parties? No. Plus, tiny church, big percussion. Because God loves a "doink!" Letter one: How does one deal with false modesty? Letter two: Dear Annie: Tone down the tambourine Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash On…

WTTO welcomes UK-based bon vivant Hanny to discuss E-men, Time-traveler disguises, The Dude Guardian, Dad Rent, "The Great Pottery Throwdown's" Rockabilly Guy, and more. Letter one: I hate my husband's centre part. How do I make the best of a stupid situation? Letter two: Wary of Reconciliation Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me Wi…

EDITOR'S NOTE: Alex takes full responsibility for the title of the episode. Please don't leave us a one star review over it. Letter one: Scuffle over fried pickles leaves bad aftertaste. Letter two: How do my partner and I compromise on a house? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsle…

Gossipy grandma's gears ground on grandkids' Google-able gabbing! Cardigan cribber creeps out coworker, categorically. EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS EPISODE WAS RECORDED BEFORE THE RECENT ANNOUNCEMENT OF A PARAMOUNT+ EXCLUSIVE FRASIER REBOOT. Letter one: I need to know if I am overreacting or if my daughter is putting her life at risk. Letter two: My Brother…

You've been waiting for this one (probably, if you keep track of viral advice letters)—It's time for some $50 cake from the city. But first: Should managers be allowed to "Ask A Manager"? (No.) Letter one: my employee told me “I prefer not to” when I tried to give him a new project Letter two: My Brother’s New Girlfriend Got Drunk at My Birthday an…

In a very late WTTO, the hosts are skeptical of the feasibility of a teach-abroad ruse and even more skeptical of a house-hungry second wife with a grim view of her husband's kin. Alex requests we embrace the inevitability of death, but like, in a fun way. Letter one: I moved to Dubai but told my parents I’m in Tokyo Letter two: My husband, 67, wan…

Thank you for supporting us through 10 episodes. Your reward is a trip through the past and a vision of the present. Both are bad! Letter one: Questions and Answers of Hollywood Letter two: Teen faces backlash for 'simping' over a new girl on Instagram: 'Leave the nice lady alone' Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Life…

On a very special Halloween episode of WTTO, we don't care that it's not halloween.Letter one: My In-Laws Gifted My Daughter a Stuffed Dead Rabbit. She Loves It.Letter two: My Brother-in-Law Should Divorce My Sister. Right? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime ---…

On this episode, Alex slips further into embarrassing fancy boy content, Amelia turns the podcast into a getting-things-done tool, and Gabriella mines Wikipedia for puns. Letter one: Should I Be Social Engineering Playdates to Expose My Kid to the ‘Upper Class’? Letter two: I'm Dating a Celebrity, But He Won't Commit Subscribe to Amelia's newslette…

On this week's docket—are you a bad enough van to ruin a marriage? And in our second letter, how annoying of a person can still be good at writing pun signatures for your advice letter? Letter one: My husband wants to ruin our wedding anniversary Letter two: My Stepsons Won’t Stop Trolling Me Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With…

This week, the friends console a Facebook mom, debate some light cryptozoology, and advise that you turn your disgusting boss into an advantage. Letter one: Man Hiding Behind Texts Letter two: Exec’s Disgusting Habit Needs to Move Offscreen Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter,…

Sorry for the late episode, Alex was too nogged out to edit over Christmas weekend. In a special extra-tangential WTTO, Alex, Gabriella, and Amelia discuss the housing market and stealing from your grandparents. Letter one: Man Wonders If Larger House Could Signal Bigger Problem Letter two: A Mom and Grandmother Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Do…

This week, Amelia, Gabriella, and Alex interpret—and discourage—dreams. Letter one: Why won’t mom let her secret out of the bag? Letter two: I can’t get my mind off of the Speaker of the House Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --- Support this podcast: https://…

Amelia, Gabriella, and Alex mostly agree about ungrateful family members and mostly disagree about college. Letter one: My Husband's Family Won't Get Off My Back About Gift Ideas Letter two: Singing Falsetto Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime "Hot Problems" --- …

Amelia, Gabriella, and Alex tackle two advice columns about knocking over water glasses and bowling over your parents. Letter one: The Arbuckle Dilemma Letter two: Was It Wrong of Me to Explain to My Daughter the True Meaning of “WAP”? Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slas…

Amelia, Gabriella, and Alex tackle two advice columns about who's eating what, and who's eating who. Happy Thanksgiving. Letter one: My Mom Poisoned My Girlfriend Letter two: I Bit My Coworker (and Update: I Bit My Coworker) Subscribe to Amelia's newsletter, Don't Threaten Me With a Good Lifetime Subscribe to Gabriella's newsletter, Slash Onlime --…