Biblical Perspective for a Fuller Marriage and Extraordinary Sex! Most married couples want more for their marriage, especially when it comes to sex. Intimate Covenant offers biblical teaching and resources to help achieve oneness with your spouse, resulting in a fuller relationship and an extraordinary sex life. Warning: We cover necessary and important topics about the marriage relationship and sex. We use frank language without being crude or crass. Our approach is biblical and wholesome, ...
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Have a Category-5 Sex Life: lessons from a hurricane
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare the sexual relationship to a hurricane. Sex, like a hurricane, is a powerful, God-given force. While we can’t direct the path of a hurricane, quiet the gale-force winds, or suppress the rising waters, we do have control over the effects of sex in our own marriages. The forces of a hurricane are mostly destructiv…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener's email from a wife who is feeling rejected because her husband, the usual sexual pursuer, has stopped initiating. We'll explore some of the reasons this might be happening and what she can do about it. Plus, we give some personal updates and exciting announcements about the future of Intimate Cove…
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7 Shocking Results From Viral Relationship Tests [164]
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the latest TikTok relationship tests and whether there is something we can learn about our marriages from these viral trends. If you really want to test your relationship, pick up a mirror rather than a microscope. Only you can change you. “Turn towards” rather than “turning away” from your spouse by mak…
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Separate Bedrooms & Separate Bedtimes [163]
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In this episode, Matt and Jenn discuss the resurging popularity of sleeping in separate bedrooms. We'll consider the reasons why a couple might choose this option and whether it might be wise for your marriage. In addition, we'll discuss some of the consequences of spouses who have separate bedtimes. Every step we take away from our spouses, especi…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some experiences from their recent trip to China and some life-changing lessons they are bringing back. We think these lessons will impact your marriage too! It’s easy to lose focus on eternal priorities and purpose. Revisit this conversation with your spouse frequently. Changing your circumstances will not change…
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Q&A (low sexual desire; body shame; reluctant spouse…) [161]
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share excerpts from several different live Q&A sessions recorded at previous live events. - How do you differentiate between responsive sexual desire and a medical problem resulting in a lack of sex drive? - How can I keep striving for spiritual and emotional intimacy when my spouse is reluctant to do so? - How can I ov…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some important news and updates, including a fun blooper reel. There are multiple ways to help support Xander Moody and his family. GiveSendGo (https://www.givesendgo.com/supportxander) - This is a crowdfunding site launched by Xander's baseball team organization. Blessings Overflow: Mail checks (avoid transaction…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share segments from the live Q&A session at the Tampa Marriage Day on March 2nd, including: How to connect sexually, even during periods of conflict How to learn contentment when I desire a certain sex act, but my spouse doesn’t How to avoid complacency when things seem “good” How to navigate different preferences for s…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their responses to a few anonymous questions posed by attendees at a recent Marriage Day in Austin, TX. What are some ways we can help prevent our children from feeling shame about sex in marriage to stop the feeling we were raised with? Is it OK for me time in a successful marriage? How to deal with past relation…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer a listener's question about shifting roles roles in the pursuer/responder dynamic. But first, a few important announcements: "Covenant Conversations" is the official name for the daily exercise formerly known as "Daily Check-in." Our thanks to Lamar Schrei for suggesting this! Registration for the Intimate Covena…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a listener’s question about struggling to recover from an infrequent and unhealthy sexual relationship. Struggles with sex in a marriage must not be ignored. Intervention and difficult conversations can save YEARS of suffering and shame; even save the marriage itself. The fundamental criteria for a wife to wa…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the accomplishments of 2023 and look forward to opportunities in 2024 for Intimate Covenant. We encourage you to do the same for your marriage with a State of the Covenant conversation. For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future. A thorough …
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn describe, in detail, the 15-minute ritual conversation that will deepen the intimacy and connection in your marriage. Meaningful conversation Expressions of gratitude and praise Pray together We referred to these conversation starter resources: Ultimate Intimacy Conversation Starter Cards: https://shop.ultimateintimacy.…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer three listener questions about passionless sex: "How can I stop thinking of sex as an obligation when it's physically painful? While we wait for physical healing, how can I enjoy this part of our marriage?” “How do you navigate pleasing your spouse when you have no sexual desire and prefer not being touched at al…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to handle the inevitable emotional and sexual rejections in your marriage relationship. Rejection almost always occurs due to multiple factors that have to do with how you are presenting the bid and with your spouse’s circumstances. Angry outbursts or pouting will not get you what you want - rather, these ki…
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Thanksgiving Q&A Leftovers (sex when upset, infertility, filming ourselves, and more...) [151]
31:51
31:51
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn are sharing several segments from Q&A sessions that didn't make it into a previous episode. But, these questions are too good to leave out, so we're excited to include them here! Here’s what we’re covering: How do I have sex when I’m disappointed in or upset with my spouse? How can we handle infertility with faith and g…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn are pulling from submitted questions regarding the theme of female orgasms. Specifically, how can a husband help his wife orgasm? How can a wife learn to orgasm in different ways? And how important is a wife’s orgasm, anyway? Take-Aways: Husbands often place far too much emphasis on their wives orgasm and miss the far m…
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The Hymen & Other Misconceptions About Virginity [148]
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the hymen -- facts and fiction -- as well as other misconceptions about the concept of virginity. There is no “virginity test.” The presence, absence, or any other physical appearance of a hymen is not a reliable indicator of a woman’s previous sexual activity. The same is true for vaginal bleeding or pain with …
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Retreat Q&A (sexual frequency, embarrassed to try new things, and dealing with a distracted spouse) [148]
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn reminisce over some of the highlights of this year's annual Marriage Retreat and share a segment from the live Q&A session, including: I'm too embarrassed to try new things. How do I get over my sexual shame? Sex is Messy. What's a reasonable sexual frequency for a male? How to deal with a busy and distracted spouse? Is…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss some of the challenges to great sex and the work required for the rewarding, lifelong journey of an intimate and fulfilling sexual relationship. Believing that great sex just occurs spontaneously and effortlessly is actually preventing us from achieving good sex. Great sex, like any other mastery, is the product…
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St. Louis Q&A: kingdom purpose; healing from betrayal; resetting your relationship [146]
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44:02
In this episode Matt & Jenn share another live Q&A session - this time from a recent Marriage Day in Saint Louis. We respond to the following questions: What are some examples of a kingdom-purpose for a marriage? What’s a good way to come up with a vision/purpose? How to heal your sex life and trust after sexual immorality (eg porn, lust) How do I …
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Will It Fit? - concerns about sexual pain, especially with first-time intercourse
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to an email from a bride-to-be regarding her concerns about first-time sexual intercourse. We also address concerns about sexual pain relevant to all married couples. Pain with intercourse is not a rare circumstance and may occur for many reasons. The good news is that there are solutions for nearly every cause.…
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Q&A Seattle: spontaneous sex, increasing daily romance, afterglow, and more... [144]
36:19
36:19
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share some clips from a recent live Q&A session at our Marriage Weekend in Seattle. We covered these questions: - Explain what you mean by “newness is required in the sexual relationship"? - How to increase romantic intimacy when life isn’t romantic? - How often should we schedule date night? - What are some ways we can…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the negative impacts of pornography use -- even if it occurred before you were married. We also address the unmarried about how to deal with the challenges of finding out that your potential spouse has a porn problem. Pornography is a negative influence in society and may manifest terrible consequences even if a…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share personal advice about how to find comfort and healing in your marriage while suffering deep loss. Share open and honest conversations about emotions, memories, fears, and needs. Find solace and support in each other. Prioritize emotional, mental, spiritual and sexual connection. Lean on your spiritual family and d…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss better ways for pursuers -- emotional or sexual -- to better communicate and initiate connection. Poor pursuit and poor initiation result in missed connection and feelings of rejection — intentional or unintentional. Pursuit should not include criticism, shame or other forms of pressure. Instead, offer an appeal…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to a husband's desperate email about his wife's loss of sexual interest. Is the re anything he can do about it? A wife’s sex drive is negatively impacted by many obstacles and challenges. As a husband, don’t be another reason your wife doesn’t want to have sex! Prioritize the whole relationship and the sex will …
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Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ------------------------------------------------ In this episode, Matt & Jenn share several segments from previous live Q&A sessions which we haven't included in an episode before. These leftovers won't be stale! Here's what we cover: Do you have any…
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How Does Sexual Shame Impact My Relationship? [138]
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48:11
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Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to listener feedback about the impacts of sexual shame on the marriage relationship. sexual shame results in sexual relationships that are disconnected & withdrawn. …
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Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn respond to two listener emails about one-sided sex and asking your spouse for orgasm. The purpose of sexual desire is to point us toward intimate connection with God and wit…
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Sex Toys - Do they belong in the marriage bed? [136]
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54:08
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Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors -- www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss the biblical principles that should govern the use of sex toys in the holy marriage bed. The Bible does not specifically address the use of sex toys in the marria…
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Q&A Nashville - How to continue pursuing when I'm constantly rejected [135]
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36:06
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Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer questions posed at the 2023 Nashville Marriage Day. We had a lovely time with this group and they asked some great questions, including: Do you have advice on communicating when needs aren't being met without coming across as selfish or making my spous…
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Sponsored by: Open Door Financial Advisors www.opendoorfa.com Where finances meet faith and family. ----------------------------------------------- In this episode, Matt & Jenn chat with Justin Gerhardt, creator of the Holy Ghost Stories Podcast AND our special guest performer at the Intimate Covenant Annual Marriage Retreat. Justin will be perform…
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Q&A Tampa: What if I married the wrong person? [133]
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40:54
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn answer some of the questions from the Tampa Marriage Day 2023. Name the three greatest examples of marriage in the Bible. How to have a conversation with your spouse about something they think is “dirty”? What if I feel that I’ve married the wrong person? What does it look like to see my spouse as the image of God and h…
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Am I taking too long to orgasm? Why does my husband need me to orgasm? [132]
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47:07
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47:07
In this episode Matt and Jenn respond to two listener questions regarding expectations about orgasm: My husband’s efficient/impatient personality prevents me from mentally and physically “getting there” for fear I’m taking too long. How do we strive for better? It feels like my husband only feels satisfied with our sex if I orgasm… but sometimes I …
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Big Announcements & Listener Feedback [131]
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48:41
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn reveal the guest performer for the Annual Marriage Retreat in September. Also, we'll share about our personal struggles in balancing this ministry and some restructuring of our vision for Intimate Covenant as we move forward into new opportunities. Look for the next intimate Covenant episode in TWO weeks, and every 2 we…
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Q&A: ideal sexual frequency, kids, rejection and pouting, wives' insecurities... [130]
35:45
35:45
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share a recording from the Q&A session at a recent Marriage Day event in Dallas, TX. Some challenging questions that we discussed are: How often should a couple have sex? How can we still have great sex with a house full of kids? What if we are both sexual responders? How can learn to stop pouting when I get rejected? W…
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Higher Drive Wives with guest, J. Parker [129]
48:19
48:19
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn are joined by Christian sex blogger and author (and friend), J. Parker of Hot, Holy & Humorous, to discuss the non-typical dynamic when the wife is the sexual pursuer. While not the majority, relationships where the wife has the higher sexual desire is certainly more common than many would think. Most of the time, this …
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn compare all of the different birth control options -- how they work, their advantages and disadvantages. The decision whether to use birth control should be carefully considered after you’ve considered whether your motivations stem from a sense of responsible use of God’s blessings in your life or whether you are being …
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Birth Control - What Does The Bible Say? [127]
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41:57
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn encourage couples to make intentional and biblically informed decisions about birth control. The conversation about birth control must start by rejecting society’s notion that children are a negative to my personal life and to society. Rather, we must view children as God sees them — a sacred blessing and holy responsib…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn share their method of critically assessing the state of their own marital intimacy and some tips on how to have the conversation about setting goals for better connection. For real progress in your marriage, it’s important to critically evaluate the past and to set goals for the future. A thorough evaluation of your mar…
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What Do I Want For My Marriage? [125] -- encore
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35:46
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn consider the question, "What do I want from my marriage?" Is there a better question as we consider New Year's resolutions for our marriages? Mature past the selfish motivations of relationship and begin to see the true fulfillment of covenant love built on self-sacrifice — in your marriage and in your relationship to G…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn suggest some meaningful wedding gift ideas that may not be on the engaged couple's registry. Rather than an arbitrary choice from the wedding registry, consider a more thoughtful and relationship-focused wedding gift for the newlyweds in your life. Providing resources for date nights or getaways is a great way to invest…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice and tips for planning a a special and intimate honeymoon experience. We're continuing our series aimed at not-yet-married couples. Share this episode with engaged couples that you know to help them avoid common pitfalls that lead to honeymoon disappointment. When planning your honeymoon, be mindful of the p…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice to couples who are not yet married, and to those of us who should be mentoring these premarital couples. Choosing your spouse is one of the most important and consequential decisions one will make. The way that we are dating will play an important part of getting this right. Premarital counseling, before an…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn offer advice about giving and receiving sexy gifts. Consider starting a sexy Christmas tradition. This is a great time to gift your sexual relationship by exchanging sexy presents and/or by making time for a Christmas Eve quickie. If you are a sexual pursuer, be sure that you are primarily considering what is best for e…
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Keep Scrooge Out of Your Bedroom [120] -- encore
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41:04
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In this encore episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how to keep your relationship and your sex life from freezing over during the busy holiday season. Protect your spouse. Make sure they know that you’ve got their back. Approach your extended families with an “us vs. them” mentality. Prioritize your spouse and your relationship. You absolutely MUST make ti…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss how the sexual relationship can sometimes be a pathway to help smooth and heal emotional or spiritual conflicts. Rather than seeing your relational conflicts as a barrier to your sex life, consider that investing in your sexual relationship can be an important tool to build and strengthen your whole marriage. Re…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn discuss characteristics of your sexual relationship that may be pointing to some deeper and broader issues in your marriage. Your sexual relationship doesn’t happen in a bubble. It is a reflection of the whole of your relationship and is affected by the quality of your spiritual, emotional and physical intimacy. If ther…
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In this episode, Matt & Jenn challenge the mind set of "foreplay." Is there a better way to think about the process of building sexual arousal? The concept of “foreplay” may be counterproductive to a godly and healthy view of sexuality since this idea limits a definition of sex to just intercourse and promotes the goal of sex as orgasm. Instead, co…
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