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History and myth of the Cradle of Civilization, bronze age Mesopotamia, beginning with the dawn of writing. The show will cover the full history of Mesopotamia, from Gilgamesh to Nabonidas, a span of some 2500 years, with myths of heroes and gods, and tales of daily life peppered throughout. Sumer, Akkad, Old Babylon, Hittites, and Israel have all been covered in depth, current episodes get deep into the Assyrian Empire. New episodes every other Wednesday. Online at oldeststories.net.
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From the Tigris River to the Mediterranian Sea, Assurnasirpal completes the greatest campaign any Mesopotamian king has managed since the time of Sargon the Great, nearly 1500 years prior. Made possible through logistics, a firm grip on his Mesopotmaian heartland, and his own personal spark of genius, our psycho king turns up the charm to travel fu…
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Bonus episode today, a bit of a crossover with the bronze age stuff I am doing on Youtube about the video game Total War Pharaoh. Despite that, I think it will be of general enough interest to go on the podcast feed because the history of cavalry and the evolution and impact of the horse is keenly relevant here in the iron age, ironically more so t…
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Today we look at the psychology and genius of Assurnasirpal and get a good look at both the strengths and weaknesses of the Assyrian terror-based governance strategy. A massive feast will be held, the Babylonians will be resurgent, and a massive uprising will threaten Assyrian invincibility. If you like the show, consider sharing with your friends,…
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Today we pause and look at the early Neo-Assyrian army itself, the arm of the empire that was doing all the conquering. It is an infantry focused force, but we also have some to say about the world's first cavalry forces, as well as the prestigious but declining chariot. Sprinkling in some of what we know about Assyrian military tactics, strategy a…
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Calah, Nimrud, Kalhu - the new city of Assurnasirpal which will serve as imperial capital for the next century and a half has many names, but is built on a foundation of blood and plunder. We look at the city today, the grand buildings and mighty feasts held to inaugurate the new city, but our focus is on the death and slavery upon which it, like t…
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Is Assurnasirpal II, king of Assyria, a relentless narcicisstic psychopath? Or is he a profoundly competant, ruthless tyrant? Can he be both, and does it really matter? Today we begin the first set of great conquest narratives of the Assyrian empire, unrivalled in their detail and shock value by any previous Mesopotamian king. We are deep into the …
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King Tukulti-Ninurta II slows down the pace of conquest for a crucial decade. Conquest still happens, and at a breakneck pace, but compared to what we have seen and will see, it is much slower. More importantly, Tukulti-Ninurta spends a lot of his time focused on really establishing what has already been built, constructing more buildings, conducti…
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Today we see Adad-Nirari bring huge quantities of Arameans into the Assyrian empire. This will change the linguistic fabric of the entire near east in time, but as we will see, at the time it just seemed like a set of good decisions, or at least imperialistic decisions. We also discuss what it is to be an Assyrian, and why no one was overly concern…
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The king today is Adad-Nirari II, but we have a lot to discuss in the background as well. The Nairi get their spotlight right before they get destroyed, and we look at the dating system for the Neo-Assyrian period and why it is so reliable, compared to the earlier parts of ancient history. And we also ask what an Empire is and whether or not the Ne…
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Today we talk about iron working, economics and climate change. Then we watch Assur-Dan II flay his enemies alive and hang their skins from the city wall. The doldrums of the Bronze Age Collapse are now officially over and a new age is rising - an age of iron and an age of empire. The most exciting and historically important period of Mesopotamian …
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Most of our modern end of the world literature is set in the future, but the Babylonians, in the midst of a dark age, set their end of the world literature right in their own times, since for them it may have seemed like the world itself was ending. Erra, also called Nergal, wants to destroy a bunch of stuff because that is his nature. He tries pro…
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Do dreams count as literature, are the dream records we have an accurate depiction of ancient dreams, and does reading a dream account from a man 3000 years dead give us any insight into his state of mind? Today, we read through a bunch of dreams, read about dreams, and just generally ponder some of this stuff. I have books! About Ancient Mesopotam…
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The thrilling conclusion of the Enuma Elish is an extended hagiographical top-50 list extolling the virtues of Babylon's patron god. As we are now well into the period where Marduk is unquestionably supreme within Babylon's walls, it is high time that we focused out attention a bit more on just who this Marduk fellow truly is. We look at the contex…
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Today we look at Pazuzu, Lamashtu, Samanu, Mushussu, and Lamassu. These are not the great gods of myth, nor are they the personal gods that would have absorbed the majority of the average Mesopotamian's attention and worship. They exist somewhere in the middle, in the realm of magic, of diseases, of charms, and of the middle spirit realms. This mea…
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Today we read through the Dialogue of Pessimism and the Poor Man of Nippur. Both are comedies with a bit of edge to them, though in very different formats, showing the richness of ancient literature. Dialogue of Pessimism is basically a two-man standup routine, with a fair amount of philosophical ideas thrown in as part of the comedy. Poor Man of N…
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Today we overview the historical portions of the bible and look at the fallibility of heroes, resolving moral conflicts with God, and the historical problems with strict literalism. I have gotten specific questions on these three topics over the course of the series, but rather than answering the specific questions, I thought it would be more usefu…
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Christmas Special! We are reading Isaiah chapter 55, a pretty short one, partly because it is nice, and partly because it illustrates the theological maturity present very early in Jewish history. Also, if you got any money for Christmas, you should spend it on the Oldest Stories book: https://a.co/d/3CzuRQQ…
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Today we read through the five poems of Jeremiah's Lamentations over the destruction of Jerusalem. We look in particular at the historical context and the humanness of this 2600 year old performance, but also at some of the theological innovations that, already at the start of the Babylonian exile, are marking the exilic Jews out as a faith distinc…
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Today we go on a wide ranging survey of the Near Eastern predecessors to the Book of Job, including the biblical books that also speak to the same themes, before looking through the Book of Job to see a fairly unique answer to the question of why do good things happen to bad people. The first Oldest Stories book, covering Sumer and Akkad, is availa…
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Today we ask the question - Who put the "Deuteronomic" in the Deuteronomistic Histories? Plus thousands of people die, so all in all a pretty jam packed episode. Our focus is King Josiah, about whom much ink has been spilled, and after him we will briefly look around at the emerging Babylonian Empire, then quickly destroy Jerusalem to finally round…
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Israel has been destroyed by the Assyrians, and Judah very nearly follows. But Jerusalem never does fall to the Assyrians, and the re-emergence of the southern kingdom is almost as shocking as the internal discord that accompanies it. We look today a lot of prophets and religious policies alongside military issues, because these do seem to be drivi…
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The first Oldest Stories Book is available for purchase: https://a.co/d/64mxp6w Today, we go in depth with what it might have been like as the Assyrians invaded, first Israel and then Judah, looking deeply at the battle of Lachish. Today's is a tale of hard times and despair, though today is more the despair at what is coming, and next time will be…
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Today we are in a mad gallop through decades and kings, each of them having pretty short, one or two episode lives, and also mostly having the same or extremely similar names to get everything super confused. This part of Israelite history moves pretty quickly, but there are a lot of interesting things that can be pulled from relatively short menti…
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Today we talk about Phoenicia, overviewing where it has been since we left our bronze age Canaan series, discussing the nature of the economic prosperity it brought to the region, and talking a bit about the causes and nature of their famous trade colonies. We also actually look at Jehoshaphat, after mostly ignoring him for a few episodes. Also, ev…
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One of the most important extra-biblical confirmations of biblical history is the Mesha Stele, written by king Mesha of Moab. But it is not only interesting for what it tells us about Israel, but also for being the only window into the otherwise enigmatic Moabites, their god, and their self-perception, at least from the highest levels. And so today…
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Today we look at King Ahab and the Battle of Qarqar, or Karkar, a hugely important event in which we see the emergence of a large number of new peoples and things who will come to play a role in the near east for a long time to come. The Arabs, cavalry, and of course the Assyrians themselves burst onto the scene in a big way, and we finally get a c…
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Today we examine no fewer than three types of confusion in ancient Israel. First is the very standard political confusion of unsettled times, as king after king gets assassinated and wars of all sort rage. Next is the standard for biblical scholars confusion of what events can and can not be taken as history, ranging all the way from the extremely …
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Today we talk about God's opinion of ecumenicism, the historical issues around prophecy, and also the careers of Jeroboam, Rehoboam, as kings of Israel and Judah, the now divided kingdoms. Much of our history at this point is exclusively religious, but there are still things that we can pull out that give indications of how these small kingdoms are…
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Today, King Solomon may or may not write a good chunk of scripture, and is definitely the inspiration of a massive collection of fun legends. He is wealthy, though probably not as wealthy as we usually think, and he may have had a ton of wives, though also not as many as claimed. Though isn't that typical, a guy claiming to have bedded far more wom…
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Today we ask the question, how many temples did God authorize, and why did he authorize some but not others. Then we ask, was David a priest of God, and why he could be priest and king when Saul could not. Those two questions take us on a long detour, but it ultimately ends up with David dead and Solomon on the throne, fighting for his life in a fr…
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Today is King David and War. Lots of war. Some diplomacy, which turns into war, some rebellion, which becomes war, some more rebellion, which becomes a double war, and a bunch of war-related logistics scattered all throughout. Also, David commits adultery and murder, but you already knew that story. Perhaps the big surprise today is the General Joa…
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Today the shepherd David becomes King David. This involves violence. Indeed, most of his career is violence, and we take a nice look at some of that violence here today. We also look at his construction efforts and some of his diplomacy, but as usual most of it turns into a bunch of tangents about the meaning of Baal worship in ancient Israel, me w…
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David comes in for a bit of criticism today, for probably being a murdering bandit, but these issues are an important part of this story. We look again at the bias in our sources, and we see a pretty big disconnect between what we are told about David and what we are shown him doing. But, of course, the tale of a bandit is usually an exciting one i…
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We begin the tale of young David's rise to power, looking at the three origin stories of the young shepherd, warrior, and poet, and then noting that as he began to rise in fame and power, Saul was absolutely not insane to be jealous and worried of him rebelling and usurping the throne. After all, that is exactly what he ends up doing. But in additi…
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Today we get some serious military history as we look at the main chunk of King Saul's reign. We deliberately avoid David as much as possible today, because it is far too easy for King Saul to get upstaged in his own chapters by history's favorite king, and so we end up with a surprising amount of often quite detailed military history, and a bunch …
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Today we properly start the career of King Saul, or at least Saul as he makes his bid for kingship. This story is important as a piece of ancient literature, it is important through the question of whether or not the bible is valid as history, but most of all it is important because this is one of the only windows we get in the entire near east for…
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Today we look at the lead up to King Saul, and how Israel made the transition from a collections of tribes to a unified kingship. Why is the Old Testament so ambivalent on the matter of kingship? Most interestingly, there is a universally applicable political lesson here, in what may be history's earliest commentary on the nature and source of effe…
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Just to give an overview of this episode to see if you want to listen all the way through, the topics I am going to discuss are: Why do I believe that Israel entered Canaan as outsiders violently invading, when so much of academia believes that these invasions never happened, and that the Isarelite emergence was largely peaceful? Why do I believe t…
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The institution of Judges, as described in the book of Judges, is an English translation of the word Shofet, a political position which doesn't really exist in modern times, and as such is often poorly understood even in the study bibles and commentaries that I have read. And yet, there are reasons to think that whether or not the stories themselve…
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Today we go full archeology on everyone, looking at what makes a settlement more or less likely to be Israelite as opposed to Canaanite or whatever based purely on the archeological record. Also, a brief overview of the entire history of the Philistines, because I introduced them as a brief tangent and ended up telling their entire story all at onc…
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When did Joshua conquer Canaan for Israel? Did Joshua even exist, as described in the Book of Joshua? We continue our march through the Old Testament as the people of Israel march through Canaan. We spend some good time discussing the Canaanite genocide in the context of ancient warfare, and the things that are and are not remarkable about it. We l…
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What does it mean that the people of Israel are the biggest whiners in recorded history? It may mean that a lot of the people were not actually on board with the theological mission of the Yahwist religious leaders. It may also mean that we are knee deep in the book of Numbers. My favorite Old Testament story, Balaam son of Beor, gets a mention her…
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Today we obsess over the word Hebrew and go deep into what it means, who was and was not a Hebrew, whether it was a social or ethnic designation, what that implies about the religious and cultural mission of Israel, and what that might mean for the historicity of the Bible. In a sense, this is kind of a tangent from our wider story, but I think thi…
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Today we look at possibly the oldest section of the entire Bible, Exodus chapter 15, the Song of Moses, as well as the issues with the census listed in Numbers and what that might mean for biblical historicity. These are some pivotal chapters today, not so much for the narrative itself but for keying in how we are going to interpret the bible and a…
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We begin our big series on the historicity of the bible with Genesis. Unfortunately, nearly the entire book is beyond the purview of history, for reasons we will discuss. But with the tale of the Exodus, we have a narrative which could, in theory, have left some historical evidence to confirm its existence. Unfortunately, we don't actually have any…
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Here it is, the part of ancient Near Eastern history that excites the most passion and interest. There is no doubt that there were kingdoms of Israel and Judah, and there is no doubt that after they were conquered by the Babylonians there was a class of Judahite priests who assembled the collection of texts we now call the Old Testament, but before…
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After the Hittite Empire fell during the bronze age collapse, Anatolia became a Mad Max style wasteland with tribes crossing the hills and fighting for survival. Amidst all this, we have the fateful arrival of the mysterious Sea Peoples, and out of this mess emerged not a whole lot for a long time, but eventually we get the Phrygians in the northwe…
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Animals in ancient Mesopotamia. From sheep, goats, horses, and other domesticated animals to wild beasts like lions, elephants, insects, birds and fish, the ancient world was surrounded by animals. But in our history we are usually so focused with humans that we don't get a chance to focus on the four legged companions of the ancient world. So toda…
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Today we look at pretty much everything we know about the Mesopotamian dark age following the bronze age collapse, and manage to cover about 120 years of history in about half an hour. After that is a discussion about chronologies and why we know when all these things happened, with a reference to lost time and other alternate chronologies, both le…
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