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No matter who you are, what you believe, or where you live, chaos and difficulty finds us all; however, is there beauty that can be found in the pain? The Colorinchaos Podcast is an honest conversation for those who seek growth through the difficulty and awkwardness of life while not ignoring the pain, uncomfortably, questions, brokenness, restlessness, and the unknown that comes with it.
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Episode 160 (03/30/22): “God… please…”When our heart cries out in desperation, yet is met with what could only be explained as silence, where is God in the messiness of life when we cry out in our lacking to God while everything stays the same…?Heavy heart, in those moments of our brokenness when God doesn’t FEEL generous, may we lift our eyes to t…
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Episode 159 (3/16/22): When the chaos of life feels like a heavy fog…. and the needs within, and the needs around, weigh heavy on you; may we not forget that there is no fog that can completely hide a light. May the ambience produced in the fog capture our attentention in a way that we may have otherwise missed without it. For those who are longing…
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Episode 158 (3/02/22): Father, we come to You in weakness, recognizing the children that we truly are… Holy Spirit, bring us to a depth of love and obedience to You never experienced before... Jesus, in our questions, hurts, and fears, may we feel the depth of our true need for You and Your love for us regardless of our weakness and wars…help us.In…
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Episode 157 (2/23/22): There’s a depth to love that can only be understood when we are at our lowest. Despite the dark nights our feet may wander through… or the terror of the open seas that we find ourselves lost in… or the haunting voices and sirens of our unrelenting regrets and shames… heavy heart, may we rest easy knowing this truth:Even at ou…
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Episode 156 (2/9/22): Feeling overwhelmed?Feeling weak?No matter where today finds you,heavy heart, our wounds and weaknesses point toward something greater.YOU ARE NOT ALONE!Media Referenced In Today’s Episode:Provoke & Inspire Podcast: Episode 417International House of Prayer Kansas City (IHOPKC)4:00 PM Tuesday, February 08, 2022Worship Leader: J…
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Episode 155 (1/27/22): "... And when He took the scroll, the four living beings and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb. Each one had a harp, and they held gold bowls filled with incense, which are the prayers of God’s people. And they sang a new song..."- Revelation 5: 8-9No matter where today finds you, may everyday we sing a new son…
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Episode 154 (1/19/22): There’s something about water. From the dependence that each of us have to it, to the peace and solace that it provides… each and every one of us can not go long without it. Continuing from Episode 152, join us as we look at Ezekiel’s vision found in Ezekiel 47 of a river unlike any other, and the abundant source of that rive…
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Episode 153 (1/12/22): Regardless of our upbringing, there was someone in our lives who clothed and fed us when we were not able to. From the fragility and dependence that a child naturally has for their caretaker or parent… to the prideful refusal of the same Creator, Savior, and Sustainer who has been involved in every aspect of this fragile life…
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Episode 152 (1/05/22): There are times in our lives when we long for, more than anything, to run away from the messiness of our overwhelmed emotions and thoughts... and we long to get away… get alone… and to find distance from the noise and relentlessness of our restlessness. In the moments of life where we long for our fears, questions, and hurts …
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Episode 151 (12/29/21): At times, surrender and trust can feel as if it is impossible. For some, the new day may great you with warmth and hope… and for others, painful hurts, needs, and questions may weigh heavy on the heart. No matter where the day has greeted you, heavy heart, may we never be afraid to trust and surrender to Jesus, our Wonderful…
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Episode 150 (12/15/21): When we travel where we have never been before, each and every one of us will find ourselves face to face with fears and anxieties of various kinds. Though there are numerous reminders for us to not fear, and for us to not be anxious, how can we quiet our fears and anxieties that so often speak louder than the Truth? On toda…
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Episode 149 (12/8/21): How do we bring the parts of us that we hide and ignore to the Light? Regardless of where today finds you, heavy heart, our God is stronger than any demon and any lie that we entertain in our weakness. As we continue the discussion from Episode 148, may we never forget this simple truth: Jesus is greater than any darkness tha…
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Episode 148 (12/1/21): On November 30th, 2021, a 15 year old student opened fire upon his classmates and teachers at nearby Oxford High School. In the aftermath and tunnel vision of our grief, pain, mourning, questions, fears, hurt, and anger… when dark thoughts come into our mind from the brokenness within and around us… heavy heart, we are so muc…
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Episode 147 (11/17/21): No matter who you are, there is nothing that can prepare you for the death of a loved one. Born in Kharkov, Ukraine, Bradley Michael Hawkins was adopted at 15 months old by his parents Sharon and Scott Hawkins. 21 years later, Bradley’s life was cut short by a tragic skateboarding accident. No matter where today finds you, m…
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Episode 146 (11/10/21): So much of our life is spent searching for worth and value. In the moments where we feel stepped over, stepped on, or overlooked; heavy heart, rest easy… you are worth so much more than you may feel and the value of your life is so much more than what you can see right now.Heavy heart, even at your worst, you are not loose c…
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Episode 145 (10/27/21): Living in the midst of “The Information Age”, each and every one of us are daily bombarded by overwhelming amounts of information. Though we have more podcasts, songs, movies, potential for relationships, messages, technology, and resources then we could EVER utilize in our short lifetime, there is an intense longing within …
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Episode 144 (10/20/21): At times, this world can reduce us to feeling so small, so forgotten. In the moments when we see the state of our fragility, regardless of how small we may feel, we have a God who upholds… cares… and sees us no matter how small we may feel that we are.When your thoughts, emotions, insecurities, and weaknesses make you feel t…
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Episode 143 (10/06/21): Pain, difficulty, confusion, and chaos has a way of blinding us from the sobering reality that we are not entitled to anything in this life. When we struggle to see God’s goodness in the midst of all that swirls in our head and heart, may we lean into the chaos seeking sober eyes. May we not miss our Creator, Savior, and Sus…
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Episode 142 (09/22/21): “God, where are You…!?“God, what are You doing…!?“God, why am I going through this…!?”When life doesn’t seem to make sense… underlying, uncomfortable, questions such as these, will find us all.On todays episode, join us as we look at three separate stories in the Bible and seek to better understand how each and every day we …
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Episode 141 (09/18/21): Growing up, my grandmother used to put together big diners for our big family gatherings. As I look back on these dinners, I remember many, many times, where my dad would PLEED with her that instead of feeling the need to constantly serve, for her to instead just be present with us. Though I remember finding it funny to see …
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Episode 140 (09/08/21): Each breath is a fragile gift… yet so much of my time is spent fantasizing about the future that does not exist. When anxieties run wild, and emotions and expectations fail us, a sobering reality looms over us... On the day that we breathe our last, nothing else will matter but Jesus.Heavy heart, what we begin in the soil of…
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Episode 139 (09/01/21): Each day that we are alive, countless opportunities to be present, disengaged, or lost in the countless notes of emotions in between, will find us. In the moments where it is so easy to get lost in what awaits tomorrow, what has occurred yesterday, and that which we can not control, join us as we look at the Hope that greets…
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Episode 138 (08/25/21): I recently had a dream, where the most beautiful of skies turned into a sky full of fire and terror.I don’t know why that as quick as a snap of a finger, we can go from being FULL of hope, joy, purpose, identity, confidence and strength... to EVERY color in our life fading, failing, and morphing into confusion, pain, and at …
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Episode 137 (08/18/21): For every heavy heart.For those who feel overwhelmed by darkness.For those who need a reminder that you are NOT alone.For those who are struggling to see the Lord’s faithfulness in the midst of darkness.May this episode meet you wherever today finds you.There is a Vineyard.There is a Vineyard!Music referenced in this episode…
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Episode 136 (07/07/21): When war is all you’ve known, it’s hard to understand what freedom is. When we struggle, fight, and war against ourselves/others… does it mean that we are not free…? Join us as we seek to find what the Bible teaches about the freedom that each of us deeply long for and crave.Heavy heart, You are NOT alone.May we bring all ou…
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Episode 135 (06/28/21): In a world of celebrities, and pedestals, we often hide away our messes; Yet through it all, every mess highlights something so much greater than ourselves…Heavy heart, the shadow proves the sunshine.May this episode meet to you wherever you are...Music referenced in this episode: Dante Bowe, "all god’s children" (From the a…
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Episode 134 (06/16/21): Heavy heart, depression will NOT have the final word.The influence of Dr. Terry Powell in my life can not be stressed enough. I met Dr. Powell during my years of undergrad at Columbia International University, and I can say with confidence that he's had one of the biggest impacts not only in my life as a follower of Christ, …
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Episode 133 (06/09/21): "So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.”- Jesus (John 8:36)Quotes such as this sounds nice, but where is freedom in the constant moments where our brokenness finds us day after day? On today’s episode, join us as we continue from Epsiode 132 and ask ourselves, what does it mean to be a child of the God of the Unive…
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Episode 132 (06/09/21): June 2011, on the floor of my bedroom, my life changed forever.10 years later? I’m just as overwhelmed and overcome as in that moment.Heavy heart, Jesus is so much more than what we can wrap our heads around….This how I met Jesus.Music referenced in this episode:The Glorious Unseen, "Forever Holy"(From the album: Tonight The…
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Episode 131 (05/26/21): When we don’t know what’s going on…When our emotions and thoughts are deceptive…When our senses fail us…When we feel at the end of our rope…All feelings are valid, yet feelings are temporary.And at the end of the day… our emotions are just sensory.Heavy heart, there is a Truth that goes beyond our senses.Music referenced in …
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Episode 130 (05/19/21): Words can’t express how much social media has changed the way we live our lives. In our attempts to express ourselves, often we take on the role of the “director” of the narrative of our life… cropping and editing each moment so that it aligns with what we desire our lives to look like. At the end of the day, is there a grea…
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Episode 128 (05/05/21): Regardless of where today finds you, each and every one of us will go through the different seasons of life aware/unaware… prepared/unprepared… rejoicing/lamenting. In the moments where we feel insufficient to address the changes that life brings, is there anything consistent to be found?Heavy heart, in every season, in ever…
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Episode 127 (04/28/21): Sometimes the book of Revelation can be so overwhelming that it is avoided; however, there is so much in what John writes in the book of Revelation that brings clarity to our day to day life in light of eternity. Back in 2013, I heard sermon by the pastor Judah Smith entitled “Keep It Clear”. As of 2021, I can not find this …
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Episode 126 (04/31/21): “We can be a good person and still be outside of what God wants us to do.”- Karen BlanchardIn John 10:10, Jesus speaks about the abundant life that only be found in Him… yet so often it can feel like there is a disconnect between the promises of Scripture, and the reality of our lives. Is there more to following Jesus than w…
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Episode 124 (03/24/21): Each day greets us with various needs, longings and anxieties that will find us no matter where we are. When we are so desperate for a solution to the many needs, longings and anxieties that weigh heavy on our heart and mind… we can often fail to see the things that really matter and where our provision is found.Heavy heart,…
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Episode 123 (03/17/21): “What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”- James 4:14Time is deceptive… for it’s so easy to believe that we have plenty of it, until we don’t. No matter who we are, or what we do, death will catch up to us all… however, is there a way to truly make the most out of the time that ha…
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Episode 122 (03/10/21): Each day, we encounter hurt, heartbreaks, insecurities, and fears…In our fear? We fight.In the fight? We doubt.In our doubt? We run.We all long to have a confidence that our days & pursuits are not in vain.May we not run away from our Creator, Savior, and Sustainer…Heavy heart, may we not settle for less than complete confid…
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Episode 121 (03/03/21): As humans, we struggle with change... and often, we spend our days trying to relive our yesterdays or fantasizing over what changes tomorrow may bring. When we find ourselves stuck between the days gone by, and what lies over the horizon of our tomorrows, how can we be present and embrace everything that today brings..?Heavy…
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Episode 120 (02/24/21): The Summer of 2014 found my head leaned up against a trash can, completely at a lost for words. In the moments where the plans that we once held so tightly blows away with the wind… when we find ourselves exhausted & numb… in the moments where confusion & brokenness overwhelms our heart & mind and we don’t know where to go… …
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Episode 119 (02/17/2021): Have you ever felt as if you were in a funk? In the moments and seasons where we find ourselves overwhelmed and overcome; our loneliness, longings, and lies can begin to become the loudest voices in the private chamber of our heart and mind. Where do we go when we don’t know where to go? Where can we go to find the rest th…
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Episode 118 (02/10/2021): All of us have had times in our lives where we have felt lost reading the Bible, times where we felt lost sitting in church, and moments where we question the relevancy of Jesus concerning our lives today. We all have times where we feel as if we going through the motions of religion and discipline while others seem to hav…
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Episode 117 (02/03/21): Have you ever felt as if there was a dark cloud of hurt, doubt, questions, and confusion that hangs over your heart and mind? In the moments where it’s difficult to “snap out of it”, can we be honest to the Lord with the overwhelming pain that feels like it can swallow us whole? When we feel like senseless animals… there is …
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Episode 116 (01/27/21): Church. This one word can bring so many thoughts, emotions, and memories to our mind; however, what is the church and why does it matter? In today’s episode, join us as we look at the unity that can be found despite our age, flag, background, job, social class, baggage, and gender. In these times of division, we have an oppo…
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Episode 114 (01/13/21): No matter who we are, all of us will have moments in our lives where we feel abandoned... when the beautiful sunsets of life give way to harshest of nights.When our world crashes down around our feet, and our dreams & hopes feel distant, have we been abandoned? Whether we keep our questions close to our hearts, or we shout o…
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Episode 113 (12/28/20): In Psalm 18, David writes of how the Lord has made his feet “as surefooted as a deer”, yet if I’m being honest, I know that I often do not feel as surefooted as a deer on this mountain of life… and I’m sure I’m not the only one. As we stand together at the end of a year that has been one for the history books of our hearts, …
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