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Chapel Probation

Scott Okamoto

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As a Dauntless Media podcast, this is a companion to Scott's forthcoming book about losing faith while teaching at an evangelical university. This podcast will feature former students and faculty of Azusa Pacific University. They will tell stories of racism, sexism, hatred towards the LGBTQ community, and early alt-right shenanigans. Other guests outside of the APU world will also be invited to share their experiences. Join the growing Chapel Probation community on Instagram, Discord, and Fa ...
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"Lisa Hendey and Friends" invites you into dialogue with authors and entertainment industry professionals, spiritual bright lights and seekers, and whoever else Lisa meets along her daily journey. From LA to Kenya and all points in between, come along for the conversation!
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Pivot Point explores the personal experiences of those who have made a life and career in the world of film, music and the arts. We’ll hear from industry pros about how they got started, the hurdles they overcame and the help they received along the way. Joseph’s style of interviewing reveals stories we embrace as our own, finding empathy and encouragement in the creative journey and hopefully help you move closer to your own personal Pivot Point.
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I always knew Joh Chase would be a guest on Chapel Probation. They were one of the most influential people to come out of APU, and they are exquisitely talented. As a guitarist, singer, and songwriter, for my money, Joh is one of the best I've ever seen. And there's a reason we are still friends after meeting in 2005 during their sophomore year. Lo…
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Content Warning for descriptions of assault and rape. This week we go to the "Harvard" of Evangelical schools, which is not really a thing. But we go to Wheaton and learn from semi-anonymous guest, Andrea, that the patriarchal systems in place protect men and harm women when it comes to harassment and assault. And at every instance, Christian women…
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The vivacious and ultra-talented Lorraine Lewis is back with a vengeance with her latest Femme Fatale single "Living Like There's No Tomorrow" which perfectly encapsulates her attitude and zest for life. Lorraine talks about the ups and downs of the last year of her life and how she's embraced making every day count.…
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Despite leaving christianity years ago, Katie Malia has never needed to find community centered on deconstruction. She forged her own creative life without ExVangelical twitter, podcasts, or White influencers. Not even Brian Recker! Gasp. Nope. Katie found life and community in the arts, comedy, and music. You've seen her on tv commercials. She's o…
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3rd-generation Angeleno Mike Sonksen, aka Mike the PoeT, is an acclaimed poet, professor, journalist, historian and tour guide whose work has appeared in publications like the Academy of American Poets, Alta, PBS So Cal, Poetry Foundation and Westways. Sonksen’s read poetry at over 100 academic institutions, appeared on radio and television and hos…
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With all the hell happening all around us, particularly in the LA area, it feels good to present this conversation that offers so much hope and mind-expanding ideas. Jess Grace Garcia is a badass who has made it their life mission to help queer people find healing and positive identity in life after fundamentalist faith. They've been all through th…
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Katie Hampton survived APU as a theater kid and pursued a life as a comedian, improviser, and now podcaster. Her deconstruction paved the way for finding humor as both a vocation and a tool for healing. Also a survivor of Scott's Introduction to Literature class, Katie has found a life outside of Christianity that has been so much fuller and, let's…
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Marla is back with some things to say about language, prude christians, and thoughts on finding our people. In a relatively short time, Marla has gone from dutiful Christian wife living as a missionary to outspoken advocate for BIPOC and Queer voices. Her latest project is called Mouth: A Little Book of Cheeky Poems, but as of this typing, there ar…
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We are back at Bob Jones University, or BJU, with Rick Pidcock. Rick is a writer with Baptist News Global, and he has come a long way from those bizarre, high-control days of BJU. He tells his story of finding his way to being an empathetic human being in stark contrast with the uncaring theobro culture of BJU and how he became a stay-at-home dad, …
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Jeff Karow told one of the most moving stories a couple of seasons ago, and he returns to Chapel Probation to give an update and to share some of his insights into putting his life together after leaving his conservative church and getting divorced. Like for so many people, deconstructing faith can have dire consequences. Relationships with family …
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It often comes as a surprise to non-Asians that people like Rohadi Nagassar and myself have things to say. Especially inside of North American Christianity. Like the proverbial tree falling in the forrest with no one to hear it, we do exist. We Asians often have to find our way out of church to develop our voices. Forget about "platforms." We have …
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As someone who was born into a family that got completely fucked by this country, I have some thoughts about the current situation. My family lost everything and had no due process before being incarcerated in concentration camps simply for being Japanese American. No one in my family takes freedom for granted because of this, and no one assumes th…
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Liz Matthews has been a social media friend and member of the Chapel Probation Facebook group, and we finally got her on to tell her story. She graduated from Biola where she played basketball, but she actually had a good time there. Liz brings up the concept of "shelving" borrowed from Ex-Mormon podcasts. It's where you place all the doubts, quest…
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Welcome to the first full episode of Season 5! We kick things off with Mary B Safrit, a writer and podcaster who actually interviewed Scott a few weeks ago on her podcast, Found Family. Mary B grew up in a mix of christian traditions and went to a normal college where she worked with Young Life. This solidified her evangelical identity at the time,…
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What is Chapel Probation today? Who knows? Not me. But I'm going to keep going to give voice to people who are not ok with the state of things. Christians are to blame for where we are today, and our stories can help lead us out of this mess. That said, I wanted to also address what I think "community" is or should be. I give some thoughts on the T…
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In deconstruction circles, it can feel like our experiences are so unique, and in many cases they are, but thestruggle for identity and agency in our identities is a universal one. ⁠Diana's⁠ story of immigrating from England to the US as part of a conservative Iranian family mirrors our fundamentalist Christian upbringings in so many ways. Diana te…
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This week we talk to therapist, author, and podcaster, Janice Selbie. Scott and Priska saw an ad for the Shameless Sexuality conference and knew they had to talk to Janice about her story in which she went from the most conservative fundamentalist world to a sex-positive, religion-free life. The Pentecostal life wasn't restrictive enough for Janice…
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UPDATE: Uploaded the sizzle file by accident. Should be the correct file now. In start contrast to last episode's rundown of I Kissed Dating Goodbye's no-touch, no fun, no-humanity mindset, we look at more recent trends in remaining "pure" while still managing to get some. And it's bizarre. The Horny Chapel is part of the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dauntless Media C…
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We're about 25 years late to this and about 7 years past Japanese American Joshua Harris denouncing his shitty book, but here we are. After Scott's Substack post about Harris had 4x as many reads as he has subscribers, we figured we should take a look back at why today's Christians are so damaged. A big part of it is purity culture. Scott never rea…
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As we wrap up season 4, we return to where Chapel Probation began: Azusa Pacific "University." 20 years ago, I was asked to take over a Freshman Writing class because the other adjunct quit suddenly. There I met Rochelle and we've been friends ever since. From the shallow, fake people of the dorms to the fringes of APU's then progressive crevices, …
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You've probably heard Caleb Martin's music somewhere on TV. I met Caleb in our music community through Shin Kawasaki, whose music you hear every week on Chapel Probation. But I had no idea Caleb had an evangelical background until just the past couple of years when we started chatting on IG about religious trauma. And I'm glad we did chat because i…
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Happy New Year! We close out 2024 with Dr. Lucas Wilson who survived Liberty University and the conversion therapy it offered. Life at Liberty was complicated as Luke tried to follow the rules and heal himself from his "same-sex attraction" as the christian put it. But he had some bizarre experiences that left him confused and searching for answer.…
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It's Christmas Eve and this means different things for everyone. Some have the family gathering with food and laughter. Many do not. Chaz grew up in an unhappy family that was fully devoted to the horrific teachings of a backwards church. He endured every kind of abuse there is before growing up and finding his way out. As a co-host of the Excommun…
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Dr. Olsen was that kid who witnessed to his elementary teachers and still got A's. In college, he poked theological holes in his Cedarville classmates' theologies and was still popular. But ultimately, his quest for knowledge and truth caused him to deconstruct his fundamentalist faith and fully accept his identity as a queer man. Despite emerging …
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We're back at Moody this week with Rebecca Williamson. Not only do we get the scoop on the expected racism and misogyny, we actually get a practical look at what life under Project 2025 will be like. That's right. Attending christian schools is the perfect preview for Project 2025. It's just that instead of being limited to these campuses, the biza…
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If you grew up in purity culture, you were taught that things like sex, alcohol, and porn were evil portals to demon possession, and you would become addicted to these kinds of vices. Of course people can become addicted to things, but purity culture lied to us. For most christians, there is no such thing as balanced living with people making choic…
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Immigration reform has been completely abandoned by politicians on both sides with Christians leading the charge against people coming into the U.S. across the southern border. And with the coming winter of our discontent things will get worse. But it's important to point out that not all christians are anti-immigrant. In fact, the research of Dr. …
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LGBTQIA students, faculty, and staff at chrisitian schools have always faced bigotry and discrimination. Since the election a few weeks ago, that bigotry and discrimination has increased at alarming levels. Although there is uncertainty about the future of Title 9 protections, the fact is that queer people have not been safe at christian schools an…
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Breaking up is hard to do. It's even harder to do in Purity Culture if you've experienced any degree of physical intimacy with your partner. This leads people to remain in unhealthy and even abusive relationships because of deeply programmed guilt and shame. Esther Cho is a singer/songwriter and dear friend of Priska. She was gracious enough to ent…
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We were weeping and gnashing our teeth after the election, so we decided to record a joint episode to process the grief, rage, constipation, etc. I was on vacation in Minneapolis, so I had my earbuds. Sorry for my bad audio. But if you're looking for a conversation about what this election means, enjoy this 2-hour special episode.…
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Donavon Delisle grew up in a nightmarish household of bizarre christianity and an abusive father who controlled everything. As awful as Donavon's story is, it falls within the "normal" area of christian households for the simple fact that it was patriarchal. Sexual, physical, and emotional abuse may have been factors in the house, but these were al…
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Tori Williams Douglass is back on Chapel Probation to talk about her homeschooling experience, which was more home indoctrination into fundamentalist chrsitianity than home education. But she asked questions and sought answers, which is a recipe for disaster in that world. We also talk about Content Warning and how it can help us heal from our educ…
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Priska and Scott get spicy...well, as spicy as possible within the confines of purity culture...as they talk about their sexual awakenings. Even inside purity culture, curiosity and desire got stimulated, giving them a glimpse into sexual possibilities. From pop culture, movies, music, to their friends, sex and sexuality was on their minds, whether…
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One could argue that most christian churches and organizations are "culty" or even proper cults. No argument necessary for the bizarre churches Uriah Wesman grew up in. With their ritual chanting, leaders choosing mates to have lots of children, and ridiculous levels of control over every aspect on one's life, yep. Cults. The very definition. But e…
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"Julie," (not her real name) has been listening to Chapel Probation for a while and came to a SoCal ExVangelical hang at my house a few months ago. She told me about her time teaching at a well-known Christian school in the area, and I was struck by how similar our stories were. Like me, the whole experience contributed greatly to her deconstructio…
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